lodi781

Why the fuck get married???? I mean, honestly. The only reason to put up with a womans bullshit is to get laid, right??? well if you know from other peoples expieriances that after you get married, you don't get laid as much, what's the point?

I don't know how other states are, but in CT, the women gets everything. automatic half plus alimony and child support. No matter if she cheats or not. Now, there's a 50% divorce rate in this country, so let's think of this in terms of money.
If you were offered an invesment opprtunity that said there was a 50% chance that you will lose 50- 75% of your net worth, would you take it???? HELL NO. So why do people get married?

I don't see much point in it, but maybe some of you guys and girls have some good stories for me.

ric

No, it doesn's sound pretentious, it sounds bitter and shallow. There's a difference.

JimmyCarter

Whiskers

I did it for the 30% reduction in car insurance.

dom

youngTL

Marriage is probably not for you. There's more to loving someone than sex...
And if you're concerned about the terrible divorce laws there, move to a state that has more fair agreements, and make sure if you ever get married to write up a pre-nup agreement.

Always Dirty

I think I've found the malfunction.

ric

hard to take this thread seriously now, but frankly, if the only reason to get married was to get laid on a regular basis, someone doesn't know their way around a singles bar, frat house during pledge week, soririty houses, all-girls boarding schools and whatnot...... getting laid, repeatedly and often, is really a pretty straightforward task of having a decent pickup line and not having snot stuck inbetween your teeth while pitching a line to some girl somewhere.....

lodi781

I figuered someone would say that. I'm sorry, but ive watched quite a few of my friends at work have there finacial and personal lives destroyed for what seems to be no other reason except that they're wife wanted something new. These were good people who were good to there family. Listen, bitter, i'll give you. It's not cool to watch your good friend go thru bad times. As for shallow, I'm reacting to what I see and how the women in my area act. what i'm saying is that marraige doesn't seem to hold any value to a good number of people. Like I said, I was hoping to find a few good stories....

Always Dirty

The key is to find someone who isn't after all that and who you can legitimately envision spending the rest of your life with. If you can foresee an issue where compromise is out of the question, i.e. if some sort of dealbreaker could pop up way out on the horizon (she gets too fat, you get too poor, etc) then it really isn't worth it.

teg_to_bike

dom

I'm sure it seems that way on the surface, but in reality their problems were likely far more complicated.

fdl

If you are just getting married for sex, then you are right, there is no point for you to get married.

The automatic 50/50 thing is really unfair alot of times. But if you think there is a better way to deal with divorces then get into politics and make some changes.

Crazy Bimmer

Stop listening to the bad stories that dont concern you. There are many happily married couples out there who dont get divorced.

https://acurazine.com/forums/ramblings-12/your-parents-married-divorced-313803/

PillsburyChoboy

eh. it doesn't sound too pretentious at all. a lot of guys my age (mid-20s) are thinking the same exact thing. they are busy with careers, busy with the social scene, busy with living life. they see no value added in having a single committed relationship with the prospect of having kids/family. why? because guys want to sleep around and spend their hard-earned money. blame the selfish gene and an evolutionary pull.

i think the underlying theme here is fucking other women, right? since married = having sex with one woman? instinctively, males have an urge to procreate with as many women as possible to maximize the number of offspring they have. of course, today, we don't want the kids, we just want the sex. you don't have to be a student of anthropology to understand this. we're just stuck in a society where monogamy is a dominant force in male/female interactions ... cheating is considered a big no-no. but plenty of other cultures outside our "civilized" society consider polygamy a normal way of life.

i've always wondered this: do guys feel bad out of guilt when they cheat on significant others or do they feel bad since they got caught?

youngTL

I would feel bad watching my partner in pain about it, hurting. If they really are your SIGNIFICANT other, then you'd never want to hurt them like that.

I noticed a lot of guys treat their girls as second class citizens sometimes, excluding them from important descisions and leaving them out of activities. Those are the kind of guys that cheat I think.

SDCGTSX

Well, honestly, men benefit more than women in marriages I think. I'm definitely planning on getting married. They've done studies comparing married men to single men and married men:

1. Have much much more sex
2. Live much longer
3. Make more money
4. Lead healthier lives
5. Have much less suicide and better mental health

The basic message is that when you get married, you tend to have a bigger life picture, have kids, gain an extended support network financially, emotionally, and psychologically. A good marriage is a pretty good thing I think.

sasha

^
That's what hookers are for...

People go through several stages in life, and there comes a point wherein some want to commit with just one person out of love, friendship/companionship, among many others. Of course not all marriages work, but that does not mean there is something wrong with marriage in itself. Go beyond the borders and you'll find many cultures wherein happy marriages thrive.

If you don't find satisfaction and happiness from that, than marriage is simply not for you.

Whiskers

So you are saying that you would be ok with your husband going to a hooker?

ericajackhannahjamie?

People get married for many reasons; Security, money, companionship, power (celebrities), offspring, or love. Marriage isn't for everyone, and requires alot of work. I believe in marriage, and hopefully I can make mine work in the future.

CLPowersWife

It sucks that I can never be out fuckin the bitches for the rest of my life.


But yeah, dude, you don't have to get married. You are perfectly welcome to die alone.

sasha

^

Whiskers

Is Scott using your account or did you just get really stange recently?

juniorbean

iTrader: (5)

Well, first get your facts straight, then make a decision....

The figure is based on a simple - and flawed - calculation: the annual marriage rate per 1,000 people compared with the annual divorce rate. In 2003, for example, the most recent year for which data is available, there were 7.5 marriages per 1,000 people and 3.8 divorces, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.


But researchers say that this is misleading because the people who are divorcing in any given year are not the same as those who are marrying, and that the statistic is virtually useless in understanding divorce rates. In fact, they say, studies find that the divorce rate in the United States has never reached one in every two marriages, and new research suggests that, with rates now declining, it probably never will.


The method preferred by social scientists in determining the divorce rate is to calculate how many people who have ever married subsequently divorced. Counted that way, the rate has never exceeded about 41 percent, researchers say. Although sharply rising rates in the 1970's led some to project that the number would keep increasing, the rate has instead begun to inch downward.

NY Times, 4/15/05
Need to register to see full article.....

Whiskers

Ill take that as a no.

dom

??

Always Dirty

I think she's saying something about going to other countries to see other thriving marriages?

Maybe places where women aren't allowed to talk back.

Whiskers

There are places like that???

CLPowersWife

Well the first part was sarcasm, and the second part was my acerbic wit at work...

But yeah, I have been really strange recently. You wanna piece of me, punk?

sasha

like in many men's dreams?

Always Dirty

Nevermind - she used "acerbic" correctly - it's not Scott.

Whiskers

Depends on whether you still have the cane.

cob3683

Whiskers

Actually, women don't really talk back if we choose not to listen to them.

CLPowersWife

Scottie married me because I can talk purty for him in social situations. Still can't put my finger on why that's worth putting up with all of my bullshit though. Especially since we're long distance so he doesn't get laid very often, if at all.

lodi781

OK, this is starting to get out of hand. That wasn't what I was trying to get at, at all. Let me give you guys a little heads up. My best friend on my crew(firedept.) is going thru a bad divorse. His wife was fucking a cop in the same town for the past two years. Long story short, We go out for lunch today, have a few beers. He's upset, I go home pissed about the whole situation, because frankly, if I had a sister, I wish she would marry someone like this. I read sasha'a post about the biggest sacrifice thing. maybe misinterpret what people were saying. Then post a stupid question that doesn't come out even close to right. I screwed up by letting my emotionns get the better of me. Sorry for wasteing everones time. I was pissed and wrote something stupid.


As for the guilt of cheating, I wouldn't know, I've NEVER cheated on any of my girlfriends,EVER. I've had it done to me and it sucks.

Doc.Booty

If someone thought their future spouse was going to be like that, do you think they would have married them in the first place?

Always Dirty

Sometimes infatuation (read: sweet, sweet ass) makes people overlook all sorts of little warning signs.

ric

I'll step back from my sarcasm in my first post.

If the purpose of marriage is to get laid, it's a lousy vehicle, and there are better ways. Though I've never paid, there have been times in my life when a one-night stand would have been an enduring relationship, and I called all those lovely young women "princess" to avoid confusion. Generally had cab money for them in the morning...... not a very intimate matrix.

Your friend got dumped on, and I'm sorry about that. Sounds like he married a conniving shrew, who played him for a dummy. There's a lot of that going around with both genders, the Darwinists hope the connivers marry each other, and lie, cheat and steal in a closed circle....... Unfortunately, some conniving shrews, male and female, come well-disguised - I also think the maturity to make a lifemate choice does not come at, say, ninteen or twenty, but after one gets the first chunks of one's adult life in place.

we all know folks who got shat on by their spouse. My late father-in-law, bless him, married a bimbo thirty years his junior, who was a classic gold-digger. Poor schmuck believed she liked him, though his marrying her would "help her". After his death, she confessed to my wife that she didn't miss the companionship much, just the financial security........ he was planning to divorce her, but cancer took over. She now complains because he left his estate in an airtight trust, and she cannot access the capital.................. poor witch....

There are stories of folks who do meet, who do find a lifemate, I'm one. I was convinced that I would never marry.......One engagement, several LTR's and a lot of one-night stands and a fair amount of backseat bouncing around........I became a compulsive worker, with about 80-110 hours of billable time between work, teaching and a private practice, a week. Met a married woman (at work, we shared the same coffee machine and our organizations were linked at the time) with a neat kid who was also working, building a financial frame to blow out on her idiot drunk husband without going home to daddy for $$$...(the guy with the bimbo bride) and we became friends, then lovers, then husband and wife (after her divorce was final) when I was 37, she was 39, and her kid was ten. We both backed each other up in our demanding careers, providing each other with a voice of support and thought as we each shaped careers that mattered to us. She stood by me - when I found my drinking pattern was beginnign to become addictive (both my parents were drunks ) and I stopped - she stood by me when my flashbacks of a horrendous childhood started to erupt - and I stood by her while she built a high-flying career as a female exec, then stood by her when she decided to abandon that career, stood by her when her health crashed, her life hung in the balance (ruptured brain aneurysm) - moved us from our home to a handicapped accessible flat so she could recover in dignity, liquidated damn near every asset in my name to support a continuation of therapy long, long after the insurance money ran out...... avoiding touching her $$$ - except to manage it - until she could make cogent decisions herself (about a year). She's rebuilding a life now. (an overwhemling number of couples who have one partner sustain a ruptured brain aneurysm face divorce and/or bankruptcy, I've managed to avoid both) . We are still married, her son is neat, and after the death of his dad, sends me cards on Father's Day.

I can't imagine my adult life without her, she is - my best friend, my soulmate and a hellofa lot of fun in bed. (getting slower when you get older is not necessarily a bad thing......). We both have close friends, some of whom we share. But - the time I share with her is incredible, and a gift. Somehow, being married to her has not inhibited my sense of independence and sense of self, she has - instead - reinforced me in ways that I cannot begin to understand. I've strived to do the same with her -

I am really sorry about your bud who married a jerkess who milked his bucks and cheated on him. But there are wonderful women out there.

BEETROOT

I have no interest in marraige, but thats because I'm atheist and libertarian. Registering my relationship with the state and church really doesn't hold much meaning for me.

I'll do it eventually though, for tax purposes.