The girl at work ...
03-09-2009, 04:08 PM
#1
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The girl at work ...
Long post probably but fuck it I need advice.
After I broke up with my old gf like half a year ago I started talking to this girl I work with and we eventually hit it off very well. Never went on any dates or anything but emailed a bunch at work. And let me state this now: when we started talking I made sure I told her I'm not looking for a relationship cus I like being single and free, especially after that previous relationship. So anyways we started hanging out everyone once in a while and stuff and we needed another girl for our coed soccer team and she played soccer so she joined our team. Anyways so about a month ago I go to a party of one of our coworkers and she is there and we talk and at this time I know she is getting hardcore into me and I was drinking and gave in and we just made out that is all.
Ok also at this time I am getting shit from EVERYONE telling me she is awesome. My roommate keeps asking 'talk to ___" today? Of course idiot I work with her. My parents and uncle keep telling me to bring her over for dinner (WTF). My cousin, who happens to play soccer with us, is like her new best friend and they go do girl stuff together a lot now and she says she is way into me. Ok yea so I think she is a cool girl but #1: I see her 9 hrs a day 5 days a week and we literally work 10 feet from each other. #2 I see her every Sunday. #3 I like to have free time and hang out with the guys and watch our soccer and hockey and ncaa tourney coming up and she seems to be like 'I thought we were gonna do something this weekend' and I just need my space cus I see her so much.
Plus I've heard mixed comments from friends and peeps on here about dating in the workplace. Either hit it and quit it, or DO NOT get involved, and all that shit. I mean one of my best friends dated a girl at work and it was good for 6 months until he learned she is the devil. A couple of my friends understand me and a couple are like omfg dude go for her. I'm literally about to explode hearing shit from everyone
Anyways so it was a buddy's birthday this weekend and they all were telling me to invite her and I though I would too because hey I still like to hang out with her so yea I invited her and all was good at dinner and then we went to the bars. We both drank and she drank a lot too and was getting pretty drunk and was basically trying to rape my face lol. Not to mention all my friends at this time basically had all eyes on me
and yea we made out a little more but and eventually later I took her back to her place and she invited me in and more making out/fondling and I got the cue she wanted me to stay and I was like omg wtf should I do so yeaa I'm sitting on the couch and she walks to her bedroom and takes her shirt off in the hall and I'm like omg. Conflicting thoughts because who wouldn't want a nice fk but then again I work with her and this could turn out bad afterwards but I was a little drunk too so after debating for a minute or two I go back out to my car to grab a wrapper and come back in only to find her passed the fuck out on her bed. End of that night... after jack in the box.
Now, was it for the better that I didn't hit it? Now that I think back on it, yes. Yea I like hanging out with her every now and then and if I do we might make out if we are drinking but like I said I don't want to get sersiously involved in anything now but she seems like the girl that does want something serious, but I also don't want to do anything bad to hurt her because she genuinely is a nice girl.
Anyways, thoughts? Advice? It's a mess
After I broke up with my old gf like half a year ago I started talking to this girl I work with and we eventually hit it off very well. Never went on any dates or anything but emailed a bunch at work. And let me state this now: when we started talking I made sure I told her I'm not looking for a relationship cus I like being single and free, especially after that previous relationship. So anyways we started hanging out everyone once in a while and stuff and we needed another girl for our coed soccer team and she played soccer so she joined our team. Anyways so about a month ago I go to a party of one of our coworkers and she is there and we talk and at this time I know she is getting hardcore into me and I was drinking and gave in and we just made out that is all.
Ok also at this time I am getting shit from EVERYONE telling me she is awesome. My roommate keeps asking 'talk to ___" today? Of course idiot I work with her. My parents and uncle keep telling me to bring her over for dinner (WTF). My cousin, who happens to play soccer with us, is like her new best friend and they go do girl stuff together a lot now and she says she is way into me. Ok yea so I think she is a cool girl but #1: I see her 9 hrs a day 5 days a week and we literally work 10 feet from each other. #2 I see her every Sunday. #3 I like to have free time and hang out with the guys and watch our soccer and hockey and ncaa tourney coming up and she seems to be like 'I thought we were gonna do something this weekend' and I just need my space cus I see her so much.
Plus I've heard mixed comments from friends and peeps on here about dating in the workplace. Either hit it and quit it, or DO NOT get involved, and all that shit. I mean one of my best friends dated a girl at work and it was good for 6 months until he learned she is the devil. A couple of my friends understand me and a couple are like omfg dude go for her. I'm literally about to explode hearing shit from everyone
Anyways so it was a buddy's birthday this weekend and they all were telling me to invite her and I though I would too because hey I still like to hang out with her so yea I invited her and all was good at dinner and then we went to the bars. We both drank and she drank a lot too and was getting pretty drunk and was basically trying to rape my face lol. Not to mention all my friends at this time basically had all eyes on me
and yea we made out a little more but and eventually later I took her back to her place and she invited me in and more making out/fondling and I got the cue she wanted me to stay and I was like omg wtf should I do so yeaa I'm sitting on the couch and she walks to her bedroom and takes her shirt off in the hall and I'm like omg. Conflicting thoughts because who wouldn't want a nice fk but then again I work with her and this could turn out bad afterwards but I was a little drunk too so after debating for a minute or two I go back out to my car to grab a wrapper and come back in only to find her passed the fuck out on her bed. End of that night... after jack in the box.Now, was it for the better that I didn't hit it? Now that I think back on it, yes. Yea I like hanging out with her every now and then and if I do we might make out if we are drinking but like I said I don't want to get sersiously involved in anything now but she seems like the girl that does want something serious, but I also don't want to do anything bad to hurt her because she genuinely is a nice girl.
Anyways, thoughts? Advice? It's a mess
03-09-2009, 04:17 PM
#3
Yes, because if she was drunk and regretted it later (especially if you don't conform to her desires for a relationship), she can call rape and you'd be fucked not only out of a job but your virgin asshole when you end up in prison. Is it paranoia? A bit. But has it happened to other guys before? Most definitely.
It'd be one thing if this girl wasn't so involved in your life and you could make spur of the moment and nonchalant decisions, but this girl is way too into you and a part of your life where decisions like having sex with her ARE consequential, and should be taken seriously.
I'm glad you're thinking. Stay cautious with this one.
It'd be one thing if this girl wasn't so involved in your life and you could make spur of the moment and nonchalant decisions, but this girl is way too into you and a part of your life where decisions like having sex with her ARE consequential, and should be taken seriously.
I'm glad you're thinking. Stay cautious with this one.
03-09-2009, 04:19 PM
#4
KICKED IN THE BALLS
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I would say it was a gift from god that she passed out. You have already express that you didnt want a relationship with here because you want to stay single and she is feeling differently about it which can lead to turmoil. Hopefully things don't get weird at work if you decide just to keep the relationship as friends and you guys are able to continue enjoying each other's company.
03-09-2009, 04:41 PM
#5
is learning to moonwalk i
Knowing that you work that close to each other, I say it's a good thing she passed out. Dating someone at the same office is bad enough, but when your work spaces are that close, it's bound to cause issues. Add to that the fact that you don't even want a relationship and you have a recipe for disaster. She would likely overhear things you wouldn't want her to hear, so you would be walking on egg shells and be miserable or say something you regret and be miserable.
Bottom line, a few minutes of fun isn't worth months of misery.
Bottom line, a few minutes of fun isn't worth months of misery.
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03-10-2009, 12:53 AM
#8
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Hey man I know where you are coming, I had a co-worker myself, we started to hang out and than made out and than sex came along a few times after work in the car. Always flirting with each other during work and sneaking in the back refrigerator (restaurant) and making out in there. than all of a sudden shit happen and sucked ass after that. Awkard at work and what not, so yeah for experience unless you two think you can handle it and become a couple than cool if not stay away. Unless you two can be mature about it afterward and have work be work and what happens after work not bother with work, if you know what I mean.
:bang :
03-10-2009, 09:32 AM
#12
What Would Don Draper Do?
+1 for it's a good thing you passed out.
and
that if you do decide to pursue her, check with HR and see what the guidelines are for interoffice relationships.
besides, you don't even want to be in a relationship right now. i wouldn't want things to be complicated at work. especially if it can jeopardize your job...especially in this environment.
what'd you get at jack in the box?
and
that if you do decide to pursue her, check with HR and see what the guidelines are for interoffice relationships.besides, you don't even want to be in a relationship right now. i wouldn't want things to be complicated at work. especially if it can jeopardize your job...especially in this environment.
what'd you get at jack in the box?
03-10-2009, 10:19 AM
#13
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First of all, I don't think they have a rule about inter-office relationships because there are a few married couples that work here.
Second, I talked with her yesterday and restated that I wasn't looking for anything serious and we talked a little more and agreed right now we just gonna be friends but still can hang out and stuff. We still email each other about random stuff but she understands where I am coming from and I think it is all good.
And when I got home yesterday my roommate was like so what are you an ___ gonna do this weekend? and I was like what? why you ask? And he said I told her we should hang out this next weekend (don't remember saying that at all
) so she apparently told him thru facebook that we were all going to hang out or w/e. Whatever, it's all good now, I think.
And I got a sourdough jack and large curly fries. I munched that shit down
SO GOOD.
Second, I talked with her yesterday and restated that I wasn't looking for anything serious and we talked a little more and agreed right now we just gonna be friends but still can hang out and stuff. We still email each other about random stuff but she understands where I am coming from and I think it is all good.
And when I got home yesterday my roommate was like so what are you an ___ gonna do this weekend? and I was like what? why you ask? And he said I told her we should hang out this next weekend (don't remember saying that at all
) so she apparently told him thru facebook that we were all going to hang out or w/e. Whatever, it's all good now, I think.And I got a sourdough jack and large curly fries. I munched that shit down
SO GOOD.
03-10-2009, 10:24 AM
#14
Team Owner
I'd hit it but she doesn't sound like long term material to me. 
03-10-2009, 10:42 AM
#15
What Would Don Draper Do?
First of all, I don't think they have a rule about inter-office relationships because there are a few married couples that work here.
Second, I talked with her yesterday and restated that I wasn't looking for anything serious and we talked a little more and agreed right now we just gonna be friends but still can hang out and stuff. We still email each other about random stuff but she understands where I am coming from and I think it is all good.
And when I got home yesterday my roommate was like so what are you an ___ gonna do this weekend? and I was like what? why you ask? And he said I told her we should hang out this next weekend (don't remember saying that at all) so she apparently told him thru facebook that we were all going to hang out or w/e. Whatever, it's all good now, I think.
And I got a sourdough jack and large curly fries. I munched that shit down SO GOOD.
Second, I talked with her yesterday and restated that I wasn't looking for anything serious and we talked a little more and agreed right now we just gonna be friends but still can hang out and stuff. We still email each other about random stuff but she understands where I am coming from and I think it is all good.
And when I got home yesterday my roommate was like so what are you an ___ gonna do this weekend? and I was like what? why you ask? And he said I told her we should hang out this next weekend (don't remember saying that at all
) so she apparently told him thru facebook that we were all going to hang out or w/e. Whatever, it's all good now, I think.And I got a sourdough jack and large curly fries. I munched that shit down
SO GOOD.
)
for making things clear between the two of you.and sourdough jack and curly fries....
03-10-2009, 11:20 AM
#16
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I wouldn't mess around or hook up with her because if things end badly, your work is gonna be an awkward place to be and with today's economy, you don't wanna quit/get fired 
03-10-2009, 01:28 PM
#19
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Believe it or not, the first thing that was going through my mind was NOT *must snap pics for peeps on azine to fap to*
I guess I could have but like I said she's a real nice girl and I wouldn't do that do her.
I guess I could have but like I said she's a real nice girl and I wouldn't do that do her.
^ hmm you are right lol
03-10-2009, 04:09 PM
#25
Engineer
op, just realize that if you do pursue this and it doesn't work out you will probably be miserable at work.
I have a friend who actually changed jobs because of something like this. At first it was great going out with a girl at work, but once they hit some rough patches he was miserable having to see her everyday. Keep it at a friend level and if either of you go somewhere else, then consider trying for something more if you want it...
I haven't been keeping up for a week or so, what I miss? pm is fine... 
I have a friend who actually changed jobs because of something like this. At first it was great going out with a girl at work, but once they hit some rough patches he was miserable having to see her everyday. Keep it at a friend level and if either of you go somewhere else, then consider trying for something more if you want it...
03-10-2009, 10:05 PM
#27
Senior Moderator
03-10-2009, 10:50 PM
#29
Senior Moderator
03-11-2009, 07:53 PM
#38
lol you guys are crazy for pics....
from past experience dating people from work doesnt usually end well I would try to keep it as a friend relationship unless you guys are extremely good at hiding it. Even if your good rumors can spread and its not worth losing your job.
from past experience dating people from work doesnt usually end well I would try to keep it as a friend relationship unless you guys are extremely good at hiding it. Even if your good rumors can spread and its not worth losing your job.
03-12-2009, 12:41 PM
#40
Oliver!!!
I'd say don't do it. If anything happens she could make 9 hours of your day a living hell. Not to mention the things she could say to your family about you. Things that you probably don't want them to hear and that will haunt you for the rest of your life. I had a friend with benefits at my last job. It was actually really good, but it was made crystal clear from the beginning that it wasn't anything more. But, when I started dating another girl, the jealousy kicked in. And she was super ticked. Like I didn't want to get anywhere near her for fear of her hurting me (she was pretty fit) ticked. It got better once I broke up with the other girl and we started again, but those few months were hell. I think what made it worse was that she worked for me. Yes, I should have been fired.In short, just say no to office relationships.