The girl at work ...
03-12-2009, 02:22 PM
#41
My only advice is (because it seems like you're going to end up hooking up with her anyways) to take it as SLOWWWW as possible. Sure, hook up with her and all but I would lay the law down clear from the beginning. Re-state that you're not ready for a serious full blown relationship and try to keep it from developing too fast. Get it in writing if you have to lol!I don't know how you're going to do this since you work 10 feet away from her, it would even be better if she worked on a different floor or something.
My 38 yr old boss has been dating this 24 year old on our team and I think he has to put in a lot of extra effort to keep the relationship healthy. If he wanted out, I have NO IDEA how he would without major reprocussions. Personally, I wouldn't do it. But if she's banging hot why not try to get her in the friends with benefits zone!? Kinda makes it hard too if all your friends/fam dig her too..
My 38 yr old boss has been dating this 24 year old on our team and I think he has to put in a lot of extra effort to keep the relationship healthy. If he wanted out, I have NO IDEA how he would without major reprocussions. Personally, I wouldn't do it. But if she's banging hot why not try to get her in the friends with benefits zone!? Kinda makes it hard too if all your friends/fam dig her too..
Last edited by ussi; 03-12-2009 at 02:26 PM.
03-12-2009, 02:37 PM
#42
Drifting
I don't know how big your company is, but if one of you could transfer to another dept where you wouldn't have to be 10 ft apart at all times, I'd say go for it. I hooked up with a bunch of girls at work when I first started working, but I always made sure they were in other dept, cuz when it goes bad, and it will, you don't have to deal with any crap.
03-12-2009, 03:04 PM
#43
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No yo hit that son and dump her on the curb, if dat wuz me i'da hit dat already aiiiiiiiiight?Seriously though, sounds like you got it under control. Just make sure to keep your relationship what it is, dating girls at work can really complicate things
03-12-2009, 03:43 PM
#44
Nom Nom Nom Nom
Do not dip your pen into company ink..
I have went down that road twice and both times it ended badly. I would never ever want to see my significant other for 9 hours a day at work, then go home to spend the rest of the night with her... Big fat pass on that one.
I love my wife, but not that much.
I have went down that road twice and both times it ended badly. I would never ever want to see my significant other for 9 hours a day at work, then go home to spend the rest of the night with her... Big fat pass on that one.
I love my wife, but not that much.
03-12-2009, 05:44 PM
#45
Q('.')=O
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Can't transfer to another dept (although I've been trying to - job related) cus of the economy we are on a hiring freeze.
And I agree with you swervin, I don't think I could handle that either, 9 hrs at work then after work and weekends hanging out. And what pisses me off most is my roommate doesn't get it. I told him this... "I work 10 feet from her 9 hrs a day 5 days a week and I need my goddam space" and he comes back with "well I dated this girl in my class back in college and that worked fine". No shit sherlock, seeing someone for 1 hr a day 3 days a week is different that 9 hrs a day 5 days a week
. I wonder what it would take to make that sink into his brain.
Anyways, I think we both understand now. Still email each other at work and friends.
And I agree with you swervin, I don't think I could handle that either, 9 hrs at work then after work and weekends hanging out. And what pisses me off most is my roommate doesn't get it. I told him this... "I work 10 feet from her 9 hrs a day 5 days a week and I need my goddam space" and he comes back with "well I dated this girl in my class back in college and that worked fine". No shit sherlock, seeing someone for 1 hr a day 3 days a week is different that 9 hrs a day 5 days a week
. I wonder what it would take to make that sink into his brain.Anyways, I think we both understand now. Still email each other at work and friends.
03-12-2009, 08:56 PM
#49
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I'd say F U don't want a serious relationship rightnow then 4 PETE's sake don't do it. F U R thinking about considering then da safest way 2 do it S 2 talk 2 ur H.R. manager and tell the truth. Some company's they R okay with it as long as none of U R the other one's BOSS or working in a different dept.
03-12-2009, 09:56 PM
#51
+1 I'll almost passed out due to confusion. 
OP, some people, like your roommate, don't understand the importance of space, especially in relationships. If I had to see my girl everyday at work and then at home it would drive me crazy, therefore putting an unwanted strain on the relationship. Having a serious relationship with her seems doomed from the start so I say just be friends and nothing more, if you eventually decide that you want something more than take it rrreeeeaaaallll sssslllloooowww, just my
.
Side question: Did Darksom get banned or something? There was a quote here which insinuated that he did, I'm just being nosey.
OP, some people, like your roommate, don't understand the importance of space, especially in relationships. If I had to see my girl everyday at work and then at home it would drive me crazy, therefore putting an unwanted strain on the relationship. Having a serious relationship with her seems doomed from the start so I say just be friends and nothing more, if you eventually decide that you want something more than take it rrreeeeaaaallll sssslllloooowww, just my
.Side question: Did Darksom get banned or something? There was a quote here which insinuated that he did, I'm just being nosey.
03-13-2009, 09:16 AM
#53
Drifting
Sucks that one of you can't get into another dept, that was my only rule back then; never do a girl in your dept. Get some separation at work.....then hit it.
03-13-2009, 08:04 PM
#55
Suzuka Master
I've been sorta dating and hitting it with a co-worker for about a month now. The only prob i have is that she can be a bit of a gossip queen (like constantly talking about every little thing we do together with people) at work with the wrong people. So far no one knows that we had sex though. Good thing she is in another dept and I am looking for another location. Technically in a way I am her superior due to rank, but I am not her supervisor or direct boss and at my company there seems to be a lot of couple who work there. Once we even had a husband and wife where the husband was the Manager and the wife the Asst. Mgr. and nobody seemed to care.
03-13-2009, 08:17 PM
#56
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She's pretty, quit your job and work elsewhere.. 
03-14-2009, 03:22 AM
#59
S E L L
I'd say F U don't want a serious relationship rightnow then 4 PETE's sake don't do it. F U R thinking about considering then da safest way 2 do it S 2 talk 2 ur H.R. manager and tell the truth. Some company's they R okay with it as long as none of U R the other one's BOSS or working in a different dept.
STOP TYPING LIKE YOU ARE TEXTING!!!!! 
03-14-2009, 09:26 AM
#63
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I met my wife at work. We started to date with no problems at all. At one time we worked with a wall seperating us, no problems. Ended up getting married - that was 28 yrs ago. All is well. We worked together for 10 yrs. It all come down to maturity and keeping pleasure seperate from business. It can work.
03-14-2009, 10:48 AM
#64
Drifting
do not dip your pen into company ink..
I have went down that road twice and both times it ended badly. I would never ever want to see my significant other for 9 hours a day at work, then go home to spend the rest of the night with her... Big fat pass on that one.
I love my wife, but not that much.
I have went down that road twice and both times it ended badly. I would never ever want to see my significant other for 9 hours a day at work, then go home to spend the rest of the night with her... Big fat pass on that one.
I love my wife, but not that much.
03-24-2009, 01:48 PM
#69
luvs redheads!
sit her down for the talk. just say ya know we are friends, and obviously you and me both want the benefits of being more ..blah blah. If she is mature and really likes you i think she would go along with that. Why not? You both get what you want..
04-20-2009, 11:42 AM
#71
Can't transfer to another dept (although I've been trying to - job related) cus of the economy we are on a hiring freeze.
And I agree with you swervin, I don't think I could handle that either, 9 hrs at work then after work and weekends hanging out. And what pisses me off most is my roommate doesn't get it. I told him this... "I work 10 feet from her 9 hrs a day 5 days a week and I need my goddam space" and he comes back with "well I dated this girl in my class back in college and that worked fine". No shit sherlock, seeing someone for 1 hr a day 3 days a week is different that 9 hrs a day 5 days a week. I wonder what it would take to make that sink into his brain.
Anyways, I think we both understand now. Still email each other at work and friends.
And I agree with you swervin, I don't think I could handle that either, 9 hrs at work then after work and weekends hanging out. And what pisses me off most is my roommate doesn't get it. I told him this... "I work 10 feet from her 9 hrs a day 5 days a week and I need my goddam space" and he comes back with "well I dated this girl in my class back in college and that worked fine". No shit sherlock, seeing someone for 1 hr a day 3 days a week is different that 9 hrs a day 5 days a week
. I wonder what it would take to make that sink into his brain.Anyways, I think we both understand now. Still email each other at work and friends.
Pursuing a relationship with a coworker, especially in very close proximity, requires A LOT of efforts. You are already aware of some of them.
For one, you have to be able to tolerate each other a lot more than in a normal relationship. You literally will be seeing each other all day at work, then more outside. Even on weekends, you will be seeing each other. The chemistry and physical attraction have to be absolutely incredibly strong to pull this off. Not to mention the psychological attraction and personality compatability.
Unless you have some level of certainty that you want a serious relationship with a coworker, it's best not to go there at all in the first place. "Fishing" almost always ends up disastrous in workplaces.
Should you decide to pursue a serious relationship with a coworker, you have to maintain it under a dark veil. It must be absolutely secret for a certain period of time from, definitely, your peers and even a lot of your friends. Basically anybody that has any tie to your workplace will have to be kept in the dark. This may even include family members depending on the situation, but that's what needs to be done.
Otherwise you will get crap from everybody (as you have been subject to) and you will be the butt of jokes and the center of attention and gossip (mostly negative) among your peers and supervisors.
Ah, the supervisors. You bet your ass they will be watching you two more carefully. It might even be against policy in your workplace for coworkers to date. Even if it wasn't, they will be monitoring you for the impact on the general workplace and atmosphere that you two will cause, and your work performance.
So keep it a secret until you have some certainty that the relationship is going somewhere. Say, 6 months or sometime around there, and you can start letting people know. This will show others that during that time period, you were able to maintain the professionalism and your work performance despite the relationship... which is the pattern you will be maintaining in the future. This will prove to others that you two will be able to pull off a coworker/significant other relationship without bringing any harm to the company.
Last edited by Pure Adrenaline; 04-20-2009 at 11:45 AM.
04-20-2009, 06:15 PM
#72
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cuteeeeeeeeeeee
but i wouldn't do it.... work is work.
but i wouldn't do it.... work is work.
04-20-2009, 06:55 PM
#74
is learning to moonwalk i
04-27-2009, 03:52 PM
#75
Q('.')=O
Thread Starter
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Don't worry about it. Things are still cool at work but it's not gonna happen. As a matter of fact, she has gotten kind of ... annoying. And I know it may sound selfish, but I'm not trying to be; I'm just pointing out the facts and trying to be reasonable. Basically, she has no friends so is starting to hang around my friends all the time so I have to put up with seeing her more and more out of work.
A while ago I already told her it wouldn't work out cus we work together and also play soccer together so I see her all the time and when I go home for the day/weekend I told her I like a 'break' from work aka not having to think about or see anything from work but said yea I would still like to hang out every once in a while.
So anyways like I said we play soccer together on the weekends and my cousin and her roommate joined the team cus we needed more girls and they wanted to play and ever since then my cousin's roommate and her are literally bffs and hang out all the fking time; my cousin was even like yea they spend too much time together lol. Also, I came home twice two weeks ago and she is there hanging out with my roommate; one day cus they went rockclimbing together and then there a couple days later as he is 'teaching' her about car engines aka standing there and watching him do nothing. Then this past Friday I get home from working out and she is there and they are like hanging out again playing some Wii game and I'm like ... yea... so go take a shower and head out to get some drinks with friends. Then come back a few hours later and she is still there! And this past Saturday another of my cousins came into town for the weekend from NYC and my other cousin, him and I were gonna go out to the bars n stuff and what do you know she is there at my cousin's place with her roommate taking a shower and going with us.
Like I said, I'm not trying to be an asshole here; I just don't want to see her everywhere I go! I already see her enough at work as it is but it is getting worse.
Comment, flame, discuss, ...whatever.
A while ago I already told her it wouldn't work out cus we work together and also play soccer together so I see her all the time and when I go home for the day/weekend I told her I like a 'break' from work aka not having to think about or see anything from work but said yea I would still like to hang out every once in a while.
So anyways like I said we play soccer together on the weekends and my cousin and her roommate joined the team cus we needed more girls and they wanted to play and ever since then my cousin's roommate and her are literally bffs and hang out all the fking time; my cousin was even like yea they spend too much time together lol. Also, I came home twice two weeks ago and she is there hanging out with my roommate; one day cus they went rockclimbing together and then there a couple days later as he is 'teaching' her about car engines aka standing there and watching him do nothing. Then this past Friday I get home from working out and she is there and they are like hanging out again playing some Wii game and I'm like ... yea... so go take a shower and head out to get some drinks with friends. Then come back a few hours later and she is still there! And this past Saturday another of my cousins came into town for the weekend from NYC and my other cousin, him and I were gonna go out to the bars n stuff and what do you know she is there at my cousin's place with her roommate taking a shower and going with us.
Like I said, I'm not trying to be an asshole here; I just don't want to see her everywhere I go! I already see her enough at work as it is but it is getting worse.
Comment, flame, discuss, ...whatever.
04-27-2009, 04:23 PM
#76
Suzuka Master
Well, I would say ignore her but it's difficult because you see her at work. Plus, ignoring her would prolly make her even more clingy. Are you getting the impression that she is spending time with your roommate to make you jealous? If so, she's super immature and a waste of your time.
Better yet, bring some other girl back to your crib when she's over hanging with your roommate and watch the sparks fly.
Better yet, bring some other girl back to your crib when she's over hanging with your roommate and watch the sparks fly.
04-27-2009, 06:02 PM
#77
is learning to moonwalk i
Hello Fatal Attraction.
This is tough. On one hand I think you should just find other people to hang with, at least for the time being. On the other hand, since she is already around all the time and you can't get rid of her, you may as well just nail her. It can't get any worse, can it?
BTW, she reminds me of Rose from Two and a Half Men.
This is tough. On one hand I think you should just find other people to hang with, at least for the time being. On the other hand, since she is already around all the time and you can't get rid of her, you may as well just nail her. It can't get any worse, can it?
BTW, she reminds me of Rose from Two and a Half Men.
04-27-2009, 11:00 PM
#78
Don't worry about it. Things are still cool at work but it's not gonna happen. As a matter of fact, she has gotten kind of ... annoying. And I know it may sound selfish, but I'm not trying to be; I'm just pointing out the facts and trying to be reasonable. Basically, she has no friends so is starting to hang around my friends all the time so I have to put up with seeing her more and more out of work.
A while ago I already told her it wouldn't work out cus we work together and also play soccer together so I see her all the time and when I go home for the day/weekend I told her I like a 'break' from work aka not having to think about or see anything from work but said yea I would still like to hang out every once in a while.
So anyways like I said we play soccer together on the weekends and my cousin and her roommate joined the team cus we needed more girls and they wanted to play and ever since then my cousin's roommate and her are literally bffs and hang out all the fking time; my cousin was even like yea they spend too much time together lol. Also, I came home twice two weeks ago and she is there hanging out with my roommate; one day cus they went rockclimbing together and then there a couple days later as he is 'teaching' her about car engines aka standing there and watching him do nothing. Then this past Friday I get home from working out and she is there and they are like hanging out again playing some Wii game and I'm like ... yea... so go take a shower and head out to get some drinks with friends. Then come back a few hours later and she is still there! And this past Saturday another of my cousins came into town for the weekend from NYC and my other cousin, him and I were gonna go out to the bars n stuff and what do you know she is there at my cousin's place with her roommate taking a shower and going with us.
Like I said, I'm not trying to be an asshole here; I just don't want to see her everywhere I go! I already see her enough at work as it is but it is getting worse.
Comment, flame, discuss, ...whatever.
A while ago I already told her it wouldn't work out cus we work together and also play soccer together so I see her all the time and when I go home for the day/weekend I told her I like a 'break' from work aka not having to think about or see anything from work but said yea I would still like to hang out every once in a while.
So anyways like I said we play soccer together on the weekends and my cousin and her roommate joined the team cus we needed more girls and they wanted to play and ever since then my cousin's roommate and her are literally bffs and hang out all the fking time; my cousin was even like yea they spend too much time together lol. Also, I came home twice two weeks ago and she is there hanging out with my roommate; one day cus they went rockclimbing together and then there a couple days later as he is 'teaching' her about car engines aka standing there and watching him do nothing. Then this past Friday I get home from working out and she is there and they are like hanging out again playing some Wii game and I'm like ... yea... so go take a shower and head out to get some drinks with friends. Then come back a few hours later and she is still there! And this past Saturday another of my cousins came into town for the weekend from NYC and my other cousin, him and I were gonna go out to the bars n stuff and what do you know she is there at my cousin's place with her roommate taking a shower and going with us.
Like I said, I'm not trying to be an asshole here; I just don't want to see her everywhere I go! I already see her enough at work as it is but it is getting worse.
Comment, flame, discuss, ...whatever.
Just playing but if u bring one of your female friends home she will think something is up and will prob come less. Or just tell her ur gay 
04-28-2009, 11:41 AM
#79
Hello Fatal Attraction.
This is tough. On one hand I think you should just find other people to hang with, at least for the time being. On the other hand, since she is already around all the time and you can't get rid of her, you may as well just nail her. It can't get any worse, can it?
BTW, she reminds me of Rose from Two and a Half Men.
This is tough. On one hand I think you should just find other people to hang with, at least for the time being. On the other hand, since she is already around all the time and you can't get rid of her, you may as well just nail her. It can't get any worse, can it?
BTW, she reminds me of Rose from Two and a Half Men.
