Is getting married under 30 young today?
12-21-2005, 02:04 PM
#1
That's unacceptable.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Baltimore
Age: 43
Posts: 265
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Is getting married under 30 young today?
A few other mid 20 somethings at work that I know (really aren't too many under 40 folks in the fed. gov.) are already married, or engaged. I certainly don't consider myself immature by any means (in fact, some would say I tend to often be on the serious/intense side) but marraige and kids is the furthest thing from my mind right now. I guess part of the reason I feel that getting married in your 20s is young is because I don't want kids. But...I can't imagine being 24-26 and thinking about family planning.
These days, I consider getting married under 28-30 getting married "young". At least in a major city (like Baltimore and even more so DC) where 'starter' homes are $350k. Seems to me like to have to be close to 30 to be financially grounded enough to be able to support a family (even with 2 incomes) Is 30 the new 21? I think so, considering folks who go to college get out around 22-24, and need a good 5 years to get established in a career and watch their earning rise a bit (hopefully). I make a good salary plus excellent benefits, but even if I married someone making what I make (which would create an annual income over $100k gross) I still can't imagine having kids on that in this very expensive state.
So...basically, I'm wondering, is getting married under 30 these days considered marrying young?
These days, I consider getting married under 28-30 getting married "young". At least in a major city (like Baltimore and even more so DC) where 'starter' homes are $350k. Seems to me like to have to be close to 30 to be financially grounded enough to be able to support a family (even with 2 incomes) Is 30 the new 21? I think so, considering folks who go to college get out around 22-24, and need a good 5 years to get established in a career and watch their earning rise a bit (hopefully). I make a good salary plus excellent benefits, but even if I married someone making what I make (which would create an annual income over $100k gross) I still can't imagine having kids on that in this very expensive state.
So...basically, I'm wondering, is getting married under 30 these days considered marrying young?
12-21-2005, 02:10 PM
#2
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
It depends on your reasons for getting married. It really shouldn't be financial. I'm getting married in a couple months and it not for what our combined wages will be or what will happen when our kid grows up. I will say that a couple years ago, I was not ready to get hitched. I think it happens one day and you will feel differently. Or else, don't get married. Some people are not meant to be.
12-21-2005, 02:12 PM
#3
Luke 1:37
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Age: 44
Posts: 4,425
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Different situations for different people. I probably won't get married for another few years, but that's fine with me. Maybe I'll get engaged in that time, but marriage is definitely more than 2-3 years away.
12-21-2005, 02:54 PM
#7
Intermediate
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: FL
Posts: 44
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
being married for me in the past was the worst mistake I made in my life and I did it because she was pregnant (dumm). but now that I left here and found someone different it has been the best life i ever lived, it all depends who you meet, someone could eff your life up or someone who could make you happy for ever just becarefull lots of girls putting up fronts out there.
Trending Topics
12-21-2005, 02:58 PM
#8
registered pw
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: south central pa
Age: 49
Posts: 38,821
Received 354 Likes
on
252 Posts
i was with my wife 9 years before we got married, the time was right and she said yes.
i just turned 30 and she was 28. i think it should be put off a little longer than some want
i just turned 30 and she was 28. i think it should be put off a little longer than some want
I'm nowhere close. I figure around 30, I'll start to think about it.
12-21-2005, 03:17 PM
#10
Suzuka Master
I don't think i'd consider it before turning 30, and if any of my friends were to ask me i'd say wait until at least then. But everyone's different. My aunt and uncle were engaged in (if I remember correctly) their early 20s after knowing each other for maybe 9 months. They've been together for 40 years and are still madly in love with each other.
12-21-2005, 03:33 PM
#12
is learning to moonwalk i
Generally speaking, yes, but as mentioned in other posts, everone is different.
I'll be 34 when I get married in August. She'll be 32.
I have noticed, though, that people over 35, tend to have shorter times between meeting, engagement and marriage. Usually less than 18 months between meeting and getting married.
I'll be 34 when I get married in August. She'll be 32.
I have noticed, though, that people over 35, tend to have shorter times between meeting, engagement and marriage. Usually less than 18 months between meeting and getting married.
12-21-2005, 10:11 PM
#13
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Champaign, Illinois
Age: 42
Posts: 7,309
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My parents married young. I could care less. I'll be going to grad school for my PhD and exposing society's bread and circuses. Marriage is for the unwashed dirty masses.
12-21-2005, 11:21 PM
#15
Racer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Age: 45
Posts: 330
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
most 20 something are just starting out. and starting out with a family is not a good start, and I do see some people marry for some bs reason. But alot has to do with the people, i just feel it is a little too early for our society
12-22-2005, 12:06 AM
#16
Cause of power outages...
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Champaign, IL
Age: 42
Posts: 1,586
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
My fiancee is 21 and I'm 23. We've been together for a little over three years and feel it's time for us to get married. There's really no compelling reason for us to not get married, and many reasons *for* us to get married (namely I have a good job with steady income, we love each other, etc.).
Basically, if you're ready, go for it. If not, wait. There's no rush on these things. Even though we're getting married pretty young, we're ready for it. But just as there's no rush on it, there's no reason to put it off because you're under 30. Just do what you're comfortable with, that's all.
12-22-2005, 02:16 AM
#17
Senior Moderator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Better Neighborhood, Arizona
Posts: 45,641
Received 2,329 Likes
on
1,309 Posts
Each person is different and so are their circumstances. 
There are some who are ready at 21.. and there are some who arent ready ever. Its all about knowing who YOU are, your beliefs, preferences and knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Are you honest with yourself on what you need to be doing? Can you communicate well?
Just some things to think over
Personally I think you should NEVER marry unless he/she is your best friend.
There are some who are ready at 21.. and there are some who arent ready ever. Its all about knowing who YOU are, your beliefs, preferences and knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Are you honest with yourself on what you need to be doing? Can you communicate well?
Just some things to think over
Personally I think you should NEVER marry unless he/she is your best friend.
12-22-2005, 07:54 AM
#19
Originally Posted by dom
There's no right or wrong answer. It all depends on the individual.
I'm not opposed to marriage. When I'm ready is when it will happen.
I have friends the same age who are married, & know people who are 20-25 & married.
12-22-2005, 08:40 AM
#21
Aaaarrrggghhhh!
I don't think so. The correct age to get married is whenever you BOTH are ready - regardless of how old you are.
My wife and I got married when we were both 27, but had dated since we were 22.... I think a 5-year "ramp-up" is enough to warrant a marriage before age 30.
My wife and I got married when we were both 27, but had dated since we were 22.... I think a 5-year "ramp-up" is enough to warrant a marriage before age 30.
12-22-2005, 08:49 AM
#22
Safety Car
Join Date: Dec 2003
Age: 39
Posts: 4,120
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by dallison
psstt, jen did you hear this??
12-22-2005, 09:26 AM
#24
Fuct in the hed!
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Chicagoland-ish
Age: 45
Posts: 14,057
Likes: 0
Received 4 Likes
on
2 Posts
I'll get married when I feel I've experienced enough...and I feel that I'm ready with a girl I LOVE...not like. So that could be 5 months from now....when I'm 35....or it may never happen. I don't think about it too much...but I do want to have kids though. It will all work itself out in the end!
12-22-2005, 09:41 AM
#25
Suzuka Master
Join Date: Jan 2001
Age: 44
Posts: 8,746
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Eh, we know we did it young, but we lived together for three years and then in an LDR for 6 months and still wanted to do it, so we did. And then we lived another 6 months in an LDR and I'm moving back in with him and it's like I never left. We won't be having kids or buying a house probably till we're in our late 20s or around 30, but if we were gonna live together anyway, might as well get the tax break associated with getting married. 
It actually made more financial sense to go ahead and link up than it would have to stay separate for five or six more years. While I got fatter and fatter...
It actually made more financial sense to go ahead and link up than it would have to stay separate for five or six more years. While I got fatter and fatter...
12-22-2005, 09:42 AM
#26
teh Senior Instigator
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Huntington Beach, CA -> Ashburn, VA -> Raleigh, NC -> Walnut Creek, CA
Age: 42
Posts: 44,090
Received 957 Likes
on
328 Posts
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
I'm not getting hitched until I'm done with school. Chance are, I'll be going to grad school, so I won't be done before he's 30. Looks like he'll be going to India to find a wife.
I tried that, it didn't work for me
12-22-2005, 10:17 AM
#28
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
I'm not getting hitched until I'm done with school. Chance are, I'll be going to grad school, so I won't be done before he's 30. Looks like he'll be going to India to find a wife.
Ill get a wife from india... but ill still keep you as my girlfriend.
12-22-2005, 10:22 AM
#30
Outnumbered at home
Originally Posted by Caliadria
Eh, we know we did it young, but we lived together for three years and then in an LDR for 6 months and still wanted to do it, so we did. And then we lived another 6 months in an LDR and I'm moving back in with him and it's like I never left. We won't be having kids or buying a house probably till we're in our late 20s or around 30, but if we were gonna live together anyway, might as well get the tax break associated with getting married. It actually made more financial sense to go ahead and link up than it would have to stay separate for five or six more years. While I got fatter and fatter...
It actually made more financial sense to go ahead and link up than it would have to stay separate for five or six more years. While I got fatter and fatter...
am I missing something? Isn't it usually called the marriage penalty?
12-22-2005, 12:06 PM
#31
registered pw
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: south central pa
Age: 49
Posts: 38,821
Received 354 Likes
on
252 Posts
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
I'm not getting hitched until I'm done with school. Chance are, I'll be going to grad school, so I won't be done before he's 30. Looks like he'll be going to India to find a wife.
the wife and i were living together b/f we got married for a few years, it all comes together at the riight time
12-22-2005, 12:56 PM
#34
Senior Moderator
Originally Posted by dallison
the wife and i were living together b/f we got married for a few years, it all comes together at the riight timeI wouldnt live with anyone before marriage. Im old fashion.
12-22-2005, 01:02 PM
#35
Race Director
im getting married this spring at 22, hell be a month shy of 25. Weve been engaged for three years (because I felt I was too young at 19,20 and 21.) And we were no where near financially ready.
Hes about to graduate from college and should have a steady income (ill be in school forever so waiting for me is a no go), and weve been living together for 3.5 years now.
It seems perfect timing and itll help me with other things financially (i can get a school loan easier cause ill be deemed independent of my parents, i can get onto his health insurance from his job..)
but for kids? no where near ready for that and getting married doesnt mean im going to pop a kid out anytime soon.
Hes about to graduate from college and should have a steady income (ill be in school forever so waiting for me is a no go), and weve been living together for 3.5 years now.
It seems perfect timing and itll help me with other things financially (i can get a school loan easier cause ill be deemed independent of my parents, i can get onto his health insurance from his job..)
but for kids? no where near ready for that and getting married doesnt mean im going to pop a kid out anytime soon.
12-22-2005, 02:08 PM
#37
is learning to moonwalk i
Originally Posted by Crazy Sellout
I wouldnt live with anyone before marriage. Im old fashion.
12-22-2005, 02:15 PM
#39
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by Crazy Sellout
pretty much 
Seriously, you'd let their opinion keep you from living with an SO before you're married?
