EmuMessenger

Thanks, NB. I have noticed lately, that I seem to spend a lot of time under the radar around here. Although I have been on the board for three years, I am not part of the "in" crowd.

Anyway, this thing is getting so messy. She is getting horrible advice from her attorney. Every time her attorney does something wrong, my legal expenses rise, too. The 1:1 relationship there is not a good one.

I was/am actually set to leave TN next week for a job in Northwest Arkansas, and all of a sudden two opportunities in Memphis have appeared. After my third interview with one of them, I am told an offer is likely forthcoming. I had it in my mind I was leaving this hole, and now I am conflicted. I am not really crazy about either job, but the one here is a better opportunity. UGH, nothing is easy. The job in AR is in the mortgage industry (similar to my current job) and the job in hell, oops, Memphis, is in Call Center. I have worked for more than 10 years in Call Center and it is hard to not give a hard look at an opportunity in my area of expertise. Next week will be an interesting one.

Thanks again for the nice note. Personally, I feel great; I am just tired of living in limbo.

For that matter, thanks a lot to everyone that has been supportive during this process. Hopefully, her attorney will kick the crack habit and this will be done soon!

Gpump

Glad you're getting on with the business of LIVING. Seems like you're already getting going, but I once saw a sign/poster/motivational thing - it said "Begin. The rest is easy." Hope your legal fees don't get too crazy - Gotta have someone to look out for you in an objective sense though. Good luck with the interviews/job.

EmuMessenger

Begin is definitely the hardest thing. The next few weeks will uncover a lot. Hopefully, things will wrap up soon and the Eagles will win the Super Bowl. That would be a nice combo package.

Regardless, BEGIN is by far the most difficult piece!

JaredGMS

Emu,
Sorry to hear about all this man...I never stop in this forum, and just read through all of it....needless to say, I feel for you man.,

I have been married 5 years, and have no clue what I would do in your situation. I DO however, know I could not stay in the house we shared....too many memories. (even though I don't own a house, I'm STILL a student)

Good luck with the job search....And although I would not suggest going out to get poon, I would suggest going to a bar with some friends and just hang out...meet some new people. You don't have to meet with any intentions, just meet new friends.

Additionally, ask your attny about state law regarding recovering attny fees for incompetent adverse counsel...the fact that her counsel is a moron should not mean you should have to pay for it....you MAY be able to get that recovered in the final settlement.

Good luck.

__________________________________________________ ________________
This is NOT legal advice. I am not an attorney, and am not liscensed by any legal bar to practice law in any state. If you have legal questions, consult an attorney liscenced in your jurisdiction.

evilone

damm emu i hope you are doing ok brother. im very sorry to hear about this. i truely hope you find a a woman that makes you happy in every aspect of your life and you 2 wil live happly together till the end of your days. best of luck and my thoughts go out to you

dallison

damn i don't know how i missed thsi one either, but emu, we hope your path to recovery is near so you can heal

EmuMessenger

Thanks again, everyone. We are all pretty "out there" on this forum, but you guys are pretty damn supportive, too.

Thanks.

Of course, dallison rubs it in a little, since he is in PA and I am in armpitville, TN. Although, he can appreciate the companionship provided by great devices like the 6230 and SX66.

dallison

^hel yeah, but i live in the asshole of pa. inbredville central pa.

bucks county is nice man, lots of jobs

EmuMessenger

I hear ya. Try living in TN for a few minutes. My house got a lot bigger, but everything else sucks. No pizza or Italian food here, either.

dallison

i know what you mean, where we moved here, there arent many diners, i love diners, but the pizza and other non chain restaurants out here arent that good, or plentiful. eastern pa is where everything is

swclown

Wow
Rough reading. ...brings back a lot.
Relationships are so freakin hard.
I just got out of a bad relationship and it's hard enough, but at least we weren't married. I can't imagine how much worse it must be when your married.
You sound much better than in the first posts, and you'll get even better.
I just can't imagine when I'll ever trust someone again. I feel like if I ever get in another relationship I'll always be suspitious and won't let my guard down, but like everyone has said already, TIME is what you need.

Hang in there man. It'll get better.

stefan

DarkSithCL

iTrader: (1)

I understand completely...You'll feel better eventually, I had to learn to lean on God to get through it...I just spoke with my 5 year old son last nite...I had not spoken to him since Carlos' Mom was killed in August 2004, if this gives you a small snapshot inside my divorce...This last year has been a Job/Paul kinda year...I thank Him for it anyways...keep your head up...keep fit...keep out of new realtionships...keep pushing on...Rick

swclown

Carlos is your son and it was his Mom that was killed in August?!?!
Man, I feel for you and your boy. God will never give you more than you can take, but man it gets close sometimes.

DarkSithCL

iTrader: (1)

Thanks for the encouraging words!!! Yup that's him, God has blessed us so much, but for those who much is given, much is asked also...I just look forward to being a good Dad and let my life and all of it's lessons be a blessing to others...maybe they can learn without going through all that I have in the last year...

DarkSithGirl

keep your head up emu..if you need to talk pm me..take care and God bless...

EmuMessenger

Thank you, I needed that. You, like most people here, are very thoughtful.

Thanks again.

fast_daddy_car

thanks!!

theroadrunner

I am recently divorced (well Sepertaed waiting for paper work)
we will be getting a uncontested divorce, and my attorney is a former prosacuting attorney for the county. and he told me that i need a lawer from the get go cause he might not come in at all if things get hairy because there is so much BS he would have to redo so on so fourth. So get yourself an attorney now.

as far as the pain thing, it is all on you to accept. the need to talk about it and learn from it, and all that fun stuff is what your friends and all your poeple are for. (us) Don't be affriad to address it with us or anyone else, you need to. I made the dession in my relationship so it was a little eisier on me, but the thought of failure at something so important still haunts me (i very rarely fail also)along with the sense that i was doing things that aren't me like not caring about her, and almost cheating on her. (i hold myself to high standerds=never cheated on a girl) Things in life will never stop coming at you, so you need to be strong while trying to deal with this. But what ever you do don't avoid the problems with yourself or what happened with her.
Be strong, deal with it, and hopefully move on. This will be one of the hardest things in your life. If you have a close female friend be careful but look for some guidence and comfert from her, that helps. (not sex that will screw everything up) Have some brew or what ever you drink, get your friends and try to enjoy life, and don't let the darkness over-run your soul.
I hope that you really don't get a divorce but if it does happen I wish you all the better.
If you need to e-mail me or IM me at ejbkzoo@aol.com

Bulldog01

I can't add much to what's been written, but time is a great healer. I split from my wife in '01, after 5 years of marriage (10 years total). It was hard as hell some days, but I had some great friends who helped me get through it. I also really learned to appreciate the nurturing love provided by Jack Daniel's Sour Mash. On a serious note, you may feel like your life is completely out of your control. Well, to an extent, it is. However, realizing that you're not the only one in the world who is dealing with these emotions and realizing that others have survived similar events may help quite a bit in achieving a peace with yourself. I agree with Killer...everything happens for a reason. Some of the reasons aren't apparent for a long time, though. Shit will get better.

Keep your melon up...good luck!

For those who lost weight...I lost 45 pounds in 9 months (223 to 178...5'11")

Bulldog01

Another note...we were quite amicable in the split. No kids, but one great dog. Most of A-CL knows about Bailey, and how she eventually took off with him without letting me see him one last time and saying goodbye. She kinda screwed me a little on the value of the house, too, but I'm not too bitter about that. My advice, however...be firm about your rights and wishes while trying to be fair. It's likely not easy for her, either. That said, you MUST look out for yourself...she's looking out for herself.

F23A4

Bucks county is growing FAST!! (Thanks in part to the post-9/11 NYC transplants.) Lot's of new homes there and pretty direct access ot NYC, Philly and most of Jersey.

Back on topic, this is an amazing thread. I'll be married 15 years next March; we've had our high points and low points but stayed the course. It hasnt always been easy but I know my wife's the best thing to come into my life (outside of Jesus Christ).

I feel for you Emu but, hang tough. You're not the first and you wont be the last to go through this ordeal. I'll be praying for you/wife, as well as the rest of you guys going through struggles right now.

DarkSithCL

iTrader: (1)

It's encouraging to hear that Christ is the head of your life...I'm sure HE is a big part of why 15 years of the peaks and valleys did not pull you two apart...keep on keepin' on brother...Rick

EmuMessenger

Interesting to see that avatar be so encouraging, with scripture at the forefront.

Regardless, well done and I should not judge a book by it's avatar.

DarkSithCL

iTrader: (1)

So, very true! And thx...