a123

This is for anyone thats been in a long term relationship, what advise can you give to make a relationship be succesfull/last?

TzarChasm

Talk about stuff, do not ignore problems, they don't go away. Most things can be solved by talking about the issue.

Rounder

^ yep. Communication and mutual respect.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Also, try to be as easy going as possible. Arguing over the small stuff is never a good long term plan.

Do stupid things that make the other person laugh, or smile. It doesn't have to be flowers. It can be a Post It note on a coffee cup. Breakfast in bed can go just as far as dinner at a good restaurant.

Share as much as possible. Whether that is sharing your person thoughts and experiences, or just sharing the work around the house.

CL-Slick

iTrader: (7)

I say start out as friends first with some things in common, then progress from there.

Ken1997TL

Marry your best friend

Communication, respect and keeping things fresh should just about do it.

Dr. Colorado

to the above posts. Communication, respect for you S.O., spontaneity, and placing your S.O.'s interests, desires, and goals on equal footing with your own are key. Sometimes all it takes is being a good listener. Not just pretending to listen while playing ps3, but really listening.

Will Y.

Just say "yes" a lot, and smile and nod your head at all other times.

thrashkid

Communication is definitely number one!

I see too many people saying the same things, just in different ways, and totally be pissed because they think they are disagreeing.

Also, pick your battles. Decide what things are really important to you and what is just fluff that does not matter. The important things, talk about and find ways to take care of the differences in a mutual way.

Trackruner228

iTrader: (1)

Take it from someone who hated every minute being around there girlfriend; make sure you enjoy them. We had almost nothing in common and fought over everything. Everytime she called I would think of an excuse not to talk to her if I even picked up. So basically do the opposite of that.

Ken1997TL

One thing that has worked for me.. is having physical space that is yours. I have my man cave, she has her office. We have our own hobbies and interests. I have ZERO problem with her going off for a couple days with friends camping or going to a concert. Everyday we spend some time doing our own thing and later do something together, even something simple as watching TV. Almost all of our friends are mutual friends now too.

Its like a recipe, don't overdo it and don't neglect it.

1Louder

Don't be selfish. Don't be with someone who is. Place your needs ahead of hers, and expect the same in return. Root your relationship in common ground that is not easily shaken, not something temporary like sex or looks. Both diminish over time. You need something between you to survive the days when you won't like each other much, because those will come. In those moments staying together is a decision, not a feeling. Make each other laugh. Don't let resentment build up - deal with problems straight away. Be with someone you enjoy talking to, and someone you enjoy listening to.

That ought to do it.

RaviNJCLs

iTrader: (4)

Ken's right. Personal space for both of you is important. I have one night a week that I play pool and Beth has one night for soccer. And we take turns getting the baby to bed so the other one has some time to themself.

phee

iTrader: (5)

if someone apologizes to you, chances are you owe them an apology too.

SupaRookie

my biggest problem was communication. Will do my best to not let it happen again.

gatrhumpy

iTrader: (1)

You're either happy or you're right.

Simple as that.

EL19

iTrader: (4)

Comprimise!

AMGala

iTrader: (4)

Great response!

stright-(paint)balling

I've read a lot of relationship books and had my share of relationships. here's the big 3 if you and you're wife or whatever do y'all will be fine.
#1. Honor: Meaning respect,listen and make each other feel good. it doesn't kill each other to say "hey hun, you look good today." or if you got a few bucks go get her a little something. doesn't have to be a million bucks but think of her from time to time. same goes with the ladies to the guy.
#2. Commit- you can't be out "having relations" with the rest of the town. chicks get upset with that and i understand. I'd be pissed too. If you truely love them stay loyal and ONLY to them.
#3. Love- Love is something that doesn't cost a dollar but worth a million dollars. at times i know guys it's hard to love her after she's fucked up your sweet Acura or she won't let you watch your game. but Love is "give and take." and remember next time you're at the dealership you can say this is for not letting me watch the game when you're signing on the line for that new car. j/k
but seriously Love her as much as can stand to.

Miisz Chelly

Communication is key and definitely keep the romance going.

1killercls

Laugh... a lot. Honesty is the key. I have been happily married for 11 years now.

Evader

I probably don't being in this thread at the moemnt but I would have to say Honestly is key. Talking about everything and me open with your partner on all levels.. oh and DON'T BETRAY YOUR SPOUSE/SO/GF whoever they may be to you.. DON'T FUCKING CHEAT!

Just my thoughts

aznkikaz

iTrader: (2)

make sure you have power... if your a pansy, she WILL leave you sooner or later.

darksom1

Pay attention and listen to your mate. I know that is best summed up by saying communicate, but it needed to be stated the way I said it. Talk to each other. Whenever you are with someone, there should always be the potential to gain something from that experience. Be wary of those with nothing to give...

Too often, people are caught unawares. Their sig other gets fed up and wants to leave, and they have no idea why. I have read a lot of those on here, prior to the local faithful, and myself, making like "GE" and bringing things to light. You always want to be in the "loop".

Do things with her and show an interest in participating in things beyond your normal range of activities. It's good towards increasing compatibility. You don't want to appear to be selfish.

Sex. No, it is not the alpha, but it definitely helps to stave off the omega!

datnkay

give each other space and room to grow together...you can't change a person, only learn to accept them for who they are...and eventually they will come around...don't ever do the "i told u so" blame game thing...just encourage each other and say it's ok and work things out together...and remember when u r in a serious relationship/marriage you become one