Do I Dump Him?
Who's the masta?!...I AM!
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,673
Likes: 0
From: Houston, TX
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
Thanks for all the advice guys! I really appreciate it.
I've been so overwhelmed with work and school, that I've hardly seen the bf in the last month, and right now I'm still debating whether or not to dump him. I know that it's so obvious, that I should, but it's hard. Regardless, I'm going to sit down and have a chat with him in the next few days, and let him know how I feel.
My dad gave me a lecture the other day (he knows about the dui b/c of some cop friends) and told me that I'm much better than this, and I need to kick him to the curb. My dad has disliked the guy since we started dating (picked me up one night smelling of beer) and so the bf hasn't been to my house or spoken with my parents in over a year. He knows that this bothers me (my family means a lot to me) and I told him after he cheated on me that he could partially redeem himself by making amends with my dad. Needless to say, 6 months later, he hasn't even attempted to speak with my parents.
This is driving me nuts!!! It keeps me awake at night. I'll let you guys know what happens when I talk to him in a few days.
I've been so overwhelmed with work and school, that I've hardly seen the bf in the last month, and right now I'm still debating whether or not to dump him. I know that it's so obvious, that I should, but it's hard. Regardless, I'm going to sit down and have a chat with him in the next few days, and let him know how I feel.
My dad gave me a lecture the other day (he knows about the dui b/c of some cop friends) and told me that I'm much better than this, and I need to kick him to the curb. My dad has disliked the guy since we started dating (picked me up one night smelling of beer) and so the bf hasn't been to my house or spoken with my parents in over a year. He knows that this bothers me (my family means a lot to me) and I told him after he cheated on me that he could partially redeem himself by making amends with my dad. Needless to say, 6 months later, he hasn't even attempted to speak with my parents.
This is driving me nuts!!! It keeps me awake at night. I'll let you guys know what happens when I talk to him in a few days.
You still haven't given us one redeeming quality for this guy. Is there anything that is good about him? Do any of your friends like him?
Pro
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 503
Likes: 0
From: Sparks, NV
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
Regardless, I'm going to sit down and have a chat with him in the next few days, and let him know how I feel.
I am amazed that another option is still being given any consideration.
but I think he has pretty much got all the ammo on his own...
Senior Moderator
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 35,218
Likes: 15
From: Swansea, MA
Originally Posted by Smitty
i read the first 4 lines and that was it...
got to be a fool if you did not dump him by now.
got to be a fool if you did not dump him by now.
Having said that, dump him...
I am #76,361,211,935
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,285
Likes: 344
From: Ottawa,Ontario
LOL as if you need my $.02 but anyway - the guy is a loser. You know it. But you're in love
with him and you won't end it till he's hurt you 'enough' ... for your sake, I hope I'm wrong.
with him and you won't end it till he's hurt you 'enough' ... for your sake, I hope I'm wrong.
Senior Moderator
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 34,937
Likes: 638
From: Chicago Burbs
It blows my mind that these type of girls are still out there 
Like waddy said, you havent mentioned one good thing about him. So why keep him, if you are afraid to be alone then keep him around till you find someone new.
Like waddy said, you havent mentioned one good thing about him. So why keep him, if you are afraid to be alone then keep him around till you find someone new.
Senior Moderator
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 34,937
Likes: 638
From: Chicago Burbs
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
This is driving me nuts!!! It keeps me awake at night. I'll let you guys know what happens when I talk to him in a few days.
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
He *says* that is trying to become better. Told me 3 weeks ago that he was gonna cut down on the drinking big time. 2 weeks later, calls me on a fri night drunk, come pick me up. Next night gets the dui. His actions seem to be contradicting his words. He tells me that he trying to change for himself and me, but a month doesn't really make up for the past year. I'm so confused.
Whats the point of talking to him if you always beileve what he says? You know how easy it is for a guy to say "I can change for you". He doesnt have to mean it and like you said, his actions speak much louder than his words.
stop being a sucker.
Suzuka Master
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 6,251
Likes: 71
From: D.istrict of C.orruption
I'm starting to think that maybe 98CLChick feels responsible for him. She knows what she should do but she can't because she knows this will hurt the guy and might pull him down even further.
Above n Beyond
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 6,520
Likes: 132
From: CHICAGO
Originally Posted by sasha
I'm starting to think that maybe 98CLChick feels responsible for him. She knows what she should do but she can't because she knows this will hurt the guy and might pull him down even further.
i know some girls who had boyfriends that made the girls life all hell when they broke up. like finding out the next guy shes with and wants to fight him, or threatening to slash her tires, some psychotic shit like that. i also feel that maybe she is afraid to let go, cause he might do something stupid, seeing as though he only has her going for him in his life.
Safety Car
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 4,954
Likes: 22
From: SLC, UT
Hah, no we all know from personal experience that this type of guy is 'irresistible' See my other threads for proof.
Gilgamesh, who is taking a page out of Junkster's book, and thinks 98CLChick should realize what's up and maybe give a decent guy a shot, so he can feel a little better about being one.
Gilgamesh, who is taking a page out of Junkster's book, and thinks 98CLChick should realize what's up and maybe give a decent guy a shot, so he can feel a little better about being one.
Drifting
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,681
Likes: 1
From: ny
Originally Posted by Katana18
love is a powerful thing. in the end, i hope you make the right choice.
Perfectly stated. Its next to impossible to leave someone you love, even if there are many reasons you should. There are three very heavy negative factors here.
1) He doesn't respect your parents. Thats important to me. I loved my girls parents.
2)He cheated on you. 100% unacceptable
3)he's an alcoholic. Theres no reason for that.
I hope you have the will-power and strength to do the right thing. If you are mature enough and know that he is really someone special, then lay down the law hard and say with conviction that he must make huge changes to deserve you. Take some time and ask for a break. If he realizes how great you are, then he will make serious strides to win you back, otherwise screw him. I know that whatever happens, it will be tough and I wish you well. There is nothing worse than what you are describing. Its always the girl thats cut from the finer cloth thats gets mixed up with some jackass that introduces her to the darker more exciting(temporarily) side of life, and then breaks her pure heart. Good luck.
Ahhhhhhhh
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,063
Likes: 0
From: Bay Area, CA
Originally Posted by 98CLChick
Thanks for all the advice guys! I really appreciate it.
I've been so overwhelmed with work and school, that I've hardly seen the bf in the last month, and right now I'm still debating whether or not to dump him. I know that it's so obvious, that I should, but it's hard. Regardless, I'm going to sit down and have a chat with him in the next few days, and let him know how I feel.
My dad gave me a lecture the other day (he knows about the dui b/c of some cop friends) and told me that I'm much better than this, and I need to kick him to the curb. My dad has disliked the guy since we started dating (picked me up one night smelling of beer) and so the bf hasn't been to my house or spoken with my parents in over a year. He knows that this bothers me (my family means a lot to me) and I told him after he cheated on me that he could partially redeem himself by making amends with my dad. Needless to say, 6 months later, he hasn't even attempted to speak with my parents.
This is driving me nuts!!! It keeps me awake at night. I'll let you guys know what happens when I talk to him in a few days.
I've been so overwhelmed with work and school, that I've hardly seen the bf in the last month, and right now I'm still debating whether or not to dump him. I know that it's so obvious, that I should, but it's hard. Regardless, I'm going to sit down and have a chat with him in the next few days, and let him know how I feel.
My dad gave me a lecture the other day (he knows about the dui b/c of some cop friends) and told me that I'm much better than this, and I need to kick him to the curb. My dad has disliked the guy since we started dating (picked me up one night smelling of beer) and so the bf hasn't been to my house or spoken with my parents in over a year. He knows that this bothers me (my family means a lot to me) and I told him after he cheated on me that he could partially redeem himself by making amends with my dad. Needless to say, 6 months later, he hasn't even attempted to speak with my parents.
This is driving me nuts!!! It keeps me awake at night. I'll let you guys know what happens when I talk to him in a few days.
Back to Four Doors
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 677
Likes: 0
From: San Rafael, CA USA
Consider this ... this clown AIN'T gonna change. So try to picture yourself 10 years from now ... with 2-4 kids, husband drunk and cavorting all over town, and you asking Dear Abby "what should I do?" He will not change anytime soon (things are too easy living at home, etc) and you certainly are not going to change him. Again, think about what your life will be like with him over the long haul. Good luck.
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