I decided to make my own thread in here about my situation.

I seem to find lots of chicks that I end up liking (and vice versa), but they all tend to be a nice distance away for some reason. I met this girl like 3 years ago, but we never really tried anything (she was 22, i was 20 at the time) since I recognized that I wasnt mature enough for her at the time. We had a nasty disagreement, and didnt talk for like 2 years, as she moved to upstate NY after going to undergrad in va to go to law school. However, as of recently, we started talking again and reconnecting, and sorta started liking each other. Sadly, just like every other female out there, she's had her heart broken, and they next guy pays for it. Now we are in the dreaded gray zone, and havent really decided what to do.

It doesnt help that Im moving farther away to start my new job in Sept (N. Florida) and she will be taking the bar in NY. At this point, no one is thinking about moving closer to the other person (the next 2 year time frame). She complains that I dont open up enough to her, and sometimes I end up pushing her away, while I basically say why should I do so when you continue to gripe about we arent together, but dont just want to be friends (basically not giving the relationship a chance). Sounds like to me that we will be just friends in the end, but I wanted an outside opinion about it.

Acurazine D&R, discuss!

Cliff notes: Talk to a girl, stop talking since she moved from va to ny, started talking 2 years later, dont know if we are destined to fail at a long distance relationship because we both back down from our feelings for different reasons, what do you think about it?

 

In order for a relationship to last, there must be a strong bond. No matter near or far. You both have fears and uncertainties about each other and aren't really in a relationship now. When you decide to go that route from long distance, there won't be any history of substance to get you thru the tough times. To be honest, from what I read, even if you were local or near each other, what you have right now sounds doomed.

You may be best served as labeling this "the one that got away"...

 

You know, I always get the line "We would prob be in a relationship right now if we were closer". I'm sure it doesnt help that I tend to not open up much and be very protective of my own feelings (fear of rejection i guess), although that attitude has been waning for quite sometime now. I'd love to settle down with her, but if I dont, I'll play the field just for thrills until I move...

 

+1

Distance relationships are hard when there is a solid foundation. Trying to build that foundation over distance is an extreme long-shot and would require a LOT of energy from both of you. It does not sound like you both have that initial strong chemestry that would be required to even consider it seriously. Sometimes it's just not in the cards. Also, the added problem of trying to have a distance gf is you may miss out on someone who's right in front of you. Then you have the whole "am I cheating" thing, breaking it off with the distance gf, etc. My advice - unless you think she's "the one", make a clean break and go to Florida with a clean slate.

 

This is going to be really tough. If you are not dating and she is that far away, then starting a relationship with that much distance is going to make it really tough to do. I recommend staying friends. Maybe she will move, or vice versa. But to start something and expect that you will be able to overcome the distance is expecting a lot.

 

Long distance relationships will never work if there isn't committment and trust involved. And if any parter has an ounce of jealousy or is somewhat of a controller, it won't work

I've been in two and they've failed mainly because of distance. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but sometimes you have to evaluate if it's worth it

 

I had this same situation with my high school sweetheart. We were together for basically all of senior year and then she moved to go to UF while I stayed up here to go to FSU. We rarely got to see each other and decided to mutually end it after we realized it wasn't going to work (after a total of 2 years). It's better to get out of it now and if you are meant to be together, you will see each other again down the road.