This is one of the most bullshit, yet most sensible explanations of attraction I've read.

http://www.prettyfedup.com/pfu/loves...lthechicks.htm

It's long. It's really long. But to sum in up in a couple of sentences, you end up on the friend ladder because you don't demonstrate enough diversity. This causes the object of your desire to think you are not a good genetic match for reproduction.

You demonstrate diversity through geekiness, which accomplishes the same result as being an asshole without the negative effects.

 

IMO it's all about timing. If you want to be on the relationship ladder with someone then you need to make your intentions known quickly.
The faster you suck face, the better.

 

I will test your hypothesis, as I'm newly single.

 

I think the more comfortable and confident you are with yourself, the more likely most people will be interested in you.

 

^yup. if you think/believe that you are the coolest kid in the class, the girl will start to think the same about you.

project confidence and reap the rewards.

 

I'm the most motherfucking bad ass kid in this class.
all the broads please bow down and kiss my feet.

 

report back with pics, you know what kind...

 

And that meshes well with this and other explanations. If you're an arrogant asshole, you exude confidence (of a negative type). If you're lost in your geekdom, you're still projecting confidence.

 

Figured as much...I'm not on the arrogant side though. I'm just getting to an age where I actually do think I'm fairly interesting and confident that a woman will find me attractive.

As far as being a geek, I think being well rounded and being able to speak relatively intelligently about almost anything is always a plus.

Middle school and High school...super sensitive kid...always the shoulder to cry on etc...ALWAYS ended up as the "friend". Then as I got older i got revisted by most of the girls I was interested in before...now, I just do my thing. If someone isn't that interested, i plant the seed and wait it out.

Well, I'm engaged now, but before, that's what I used to do. I was never a player, but definitely never lonely for more than a few days at a time. I ended up figuring out the more I figured out what hobbies I liked and paid more attention to those than hoping a girl would call me back the more I found my phone ringing.

 

this.
hobbies ftw.

 

All there is to it right here.

 

As far as the ranting website goes, the girls an "asshole guy" gets will always have low confidence and/or low self-esteem and/or low self-respect. Sure they might be hot, but they have issues.

No girl without issues will put up with that stuff. In this manner, similar people always attract.

If you have your act together, you're a good person, and can talk to women, you'll have no problem meeting them. And if you make your move immediately, you won't find yourself on the friend ladder

 

Scotty, you moved too fast for me

 

Last night I was thinking about the issue of timing. I don't think it's really a factor and the advice to suck face ASAP might be ill-advised. Everyone has a different story. Some say they hit it off right away and both knew it. Sometimes, the couple are long time friends and one warms up to the other ("one day, I saw him/her completely differently"). Sometimes, one holds a torch for way too long and it never happens.

The fact that it can happen immediately or at a point in the future means that at some point, you do/did something that changed her impression of you and created desire. If her desire is immediate, being aloof may or may not drive her away or put you on the friend ladder. It may make her more persistent. But, taking some points from the referenced website, if you treat her like a sister, she will eventually view you reciprocally and lose the sexual attraction.

 

Sucking face ASAP isn't the answer to me either...
I've always taken the approach that s*x/lovin will eventually happen anyway so I just wait for it to happen on it's own. I guess the confidence that they are going to want it to happen helps too...

 

The curse of being a 20-somthing guy is that they over-think this. To me its this simple.

If you want to just hook up, then put on an act. Try to come across more interesting than you are and play the game to get and hold her interest. The reason is this is only good for a hook up is because you are modifying who you really are. You are just casting yourself in the role of the "more interesting version of you", and that can't go on forever. When it ends, so does whatever it is you thought you had.

If you want a relationship, be who you are and let the chips fall where they may. This way she a) likes the real you and b) it takes no extra effort on your part to interact with her. I'm not saying totally let yourself go, but to the point Rockstar made about hobbies - rather than act more interesting, become more interesting. That way you don't have to try and pretend you some other guy - you are that other guy.

 

1louder is always spot on

 

Damned right...I totally agree and much better worded too.

To sum it up, become whatever you want to be. Don't act like it...become it.