For those in relationships of some significance, I was curious about how many compromises you have to make in order to get along?? I know there are some people who are like two peas in a pod and who don't have to make hardly any sacrifices to get along well, where as some people have to bend over backwards and make all sorts of compromises to make things go smoothly. Just wandering whats types of things you give up for the sake of getting along and being happy, some sacrifices that you make for love.


I hesitate to ask the follow-up question all in one thread, but when you do make these sacrifices/compromises, don't you tend to bottle it up and become resentful and bitter??

 

compromises only work if both do it. I know I made compromises in terms of doing things to make things easier for her, but that was not quite noticed and taken for granted after a while. Stuff like heading to her place on Fridays for the weekends as she had 2 cats, paying the majority of the time, changing my schedule for her, etc.

But if it makes things work, compromise and don't look back.

Not sure about bottling it up. For me, it kinda came out after we broke up. When I would look back and think about it.

I also noticed, in looking back, that I did not pay her enough attention... shut the TV and spend quality time...

 

For the most part, things should just fall into place. Obviously, there is no "perfect" relationship; therefore, you need to put effort into it in order to make it work. That entails a little give and take, but when you find yourself giving a lot more than taking, you might want to sit back and reevaluate the relationship. Comprising is all about going without so the other can have. But when the other doesn't recognize your losses over his/her gains, then you might want to communicate your frustrations. Don't find yourself constantly unhappy just to make your SO happy....you're gonna end up getting bitter in the long term if things don't change. There's my two cents.

 

oh, and definetly do the quality time thing. Girls need that kind of TLC just to know that you care and want to be with them. The little things in life are what mean a lot...

 

I'm 55 married 35 years so far. We dated 5 years before marriage. Lots and lots of compromise over the years. We are still each our own people, it's all good. Realize that you are not right all of the time and that you have to share, easy as that. She is at least as important as I am, no question about it. Consider it a learning adventure, enjoy the ride. YMMV

 

Completely disagree with your definition. Comprimising is all about finding an equal balance or finding a place where you both "win" and can feel good about the decision/situation. It's not all about one person getting everything s/he wants, while the other gives up 100% of what they want (therefore "losing"). That would be a win-lose situation. Comprimising is meeting in a middle ground....you each give whatever it takes to make it work for everyone. In my opinion, if you work well together, you might come out somewhat disappointed cuz you have to change things around a bit, but never resentful.
Just my

 

The disappointment should be short-lived if you know that in the end it's for the better and it serves to strengthen your relationship.

I make tons of compromises every day in my 9-year relationship, but I get so much back because my husband also makes compromises. I should be better at letting him know how much I appreciate the compromises that he makes for me.

If you and your significant other are so alike that you end up making little to no compromises at all, I wonder how good it can be for you as a person, since you don't learn to grow as a person or deal with hardly any hardship.

 

Good points all around.

I wonder whats better, the opposites attract theory, which in relation to what you said involves "growing as a person," or the have so much in common is frightening, so much so that is almost on cruise control with no real depth??

 

if you're having to make a lot of compromises i would reconsider whether the girl is the right one for you...

honestly you shouldnt have to make major compromises imo, unless they are small ones like, oh you want italian food and i want mexican food we'll do italian...

 

Depends on what everyone is talking about. In my opinion, some people are using the word "compromise" but describing more of a 'sacrifice' than compromise. Those are two different things, in my opinion.