okay, im gonna put it in a nutshell. Known a girl for about a year and a couple of months, met her at a birthday party for my cousin, they were friends. we started talking everynight and whatever, i brought up the idea of an 'us', her excuse was 'im too good of friends with your cousin to get with you, i think it would ruin mine and her friendship', okay so i gave up, yet, kept talking to her as a friend and whatever. she always used to complain about her EX and stuff. they eventually got back together, and she and my cousin had a falling out recently, and she broke up with her ex, again. so we started talking and now her excuse was 'we have such a good relationship, why would we want to ruin it?'. but the thing is, sometimes she flirts, and gets my hopes up. like, its so cute and stuff, ya know? and it just gets me everytime. like, as im gonna just give up on her, she pulls this stunt and i get back stuck. and now, since shes single, shes been dating a few guys, but none of it worked, till now. She met some guy, and they are seriously dating or whatever. He does pot, drinks, and does cig's. and she hates all of that stuff. she knows i dont do any of it, she 'loves' my personality and thinks im different than other guys. and she keeps acting like she wants to break off stuff with him because of all the stuff he does, yet, she likes some of his qualities. and apparently they over-rule that other shit he does. and recently she asked a 'if we were ever together' question to me. and yet again, got my hopes up. Heres the question: I have the op to go see her this sunday, in Houston, where she lives. Should I go, and if I should, how should I act. She knows ive liked her and stuff. im just so confused, and pissed off at her decision making, she always dates these loser idiots that smoke and drink and stuff and are going no where in life. yet, she cant see me, the good guy.

 

btw, ive done alot of cute stuff for her, made a list of reasons why ive liked her, and cant like any other girl. sent her flowers. waited at a park for 1.5 hours for her (she showed up 1.5 hours late, because she over slept). listened to all her bull shit boy issues, none of which i gave a shit about.

 

Wow, I smoke (cigs) and I drink....I must be going nowhere in life

Plain and simple.....forget her and move on. She knows your feelings so why are you gonna keep chasing her? It's obviously not working so stop embarrassing yourself and let her come to you if that ever happens.

 

sorry, i didnt mean to imply that smokers and drinkers are idiots. just the guys shes going for, they are complete deuche bags, i know them.

 

sounds like she's just toying with you

 

and you don't do pot, you smoke it

 

Alright well, obviously your father isn't in the picture to set you straight.

Look, she probably doesn't know what she's doing, so don't be too embarrassed. It sounds like you're being led on just in case she ever wants a shoulder to lean on.

The problem is you have feelings for this girl and they're not really being reciprocated the way you'd like them to be. The fact is, they may never be, and it's probably hopeless if you keep trying.

She likes this other guy and she can't explain to you why - that's because attraction isn't a conscious decision that's made after hours of conscious debate and logical inference. There's some Freud here, some biology/hormones there, and social forces here and there too. You can't really compete with those things right now, it's too late, so don't bother trying, sorry.

If you think going to Houston with flowers and a poem you wrote celebrating her unique personality and the color of her eyes or whatever is going to convince of how much of a catch you are, you're just going to feel like an idiot once she says "awww, that's so sweet, God, you're such a great friend" - and then calls up her boyfriend after you buy her dinner so she can meet up with him.

Your best bet is to stop caring about her. In fact, the weirdest thing about this whole thing is that that's probably your only bet if you want her in some capacity some time in the future. Just stop caring and move on with your life. By then, you shouldn't care anymore, and she'll only be a stupid memory you'll try to forget. That's assuming you man up and stop lying to yourself. Maybe then she'll see you in a different light and want you as more than a "friend". But like I said, by then you shouldn't really care.

By the way, "friend" is just a term some women use just to keep you around. She just wants to bounce delusional ideas off of you and make her feel good about herself when her pot-smoking, beer-drinking, loser boyfriend is busy banging her best-friend and completely ignoring everything she brings to the table.

Don't feel bad, it happens to most decent guys. The thing is, you can't really go around looking for the "right" girl. You just have to have fun while you're young and maybe you'll find some girl who's worth your time and energy. You can make efforts to meet more girls and thereby increase the statistical probably that you'll run into that "right" girl, but until then, you're just being fooled and you'd serve yourself best to ignore this girl and get what you really want out of life. Concentrate on yourself and what you want to do for the next few years. Stop wasting your time on a girl who couldn't care less about you.

And don't tell her any of this, she won't understand, she'll try to keep what she has and she'll just get mad at you. If you ignore her she'll just get mad at you and give you some lame guilt trip to bring your "friendship" back into her life. That's because she's not getting the psychological and emotional stuff that most people get in healthy relationships from her boyfriend.

I could have it wrong though.

 

man this is just like that avril lavigne song

 

Your in the "friends zone"

and will always be there, it happens to all the nice, descent guys. Learn how to be an asshole and dont go to Houston, tell her you have just arranged some plans with a girl you met.

 

Nothing complicated here, ditch her and move on, no need to waste your time and letting her toy with you.

 

I don't always agree when people say move on, but in this case I definitely do. She knows how you feel, and obviously does not reciprocate. There's nothing either of you can do about that. I don't like that she seems to be toying with you. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, and hope that it is unintentional.

 

Do you remain friends with her in hopes of being with her some day? Sorry, but a woman who leads you on is not worth your time. I would cut off my ties with her, if I were you.

 

since we havent hung out much, i will go this sunday and spend 6 hours with her. last time we spent time together, it seemed as though she felt something afterwards, and that was only a 20 minute meeting! the way i see it, im in so deep, whats another 6 hours? atleast ill be able to convince myself that im not doing the right thing.

 

You are being a douchebag loser. Spend 6 hours on Sunday doing something social instead that might actually get you a real girlfriend. You're allowing yourself to be played and it's pathetic.

 

What are you going to do during those 6 hours with her? If this is going to be the last ditch effort for you (and I think it should), you have to somehow kiss her/hookup and see if that does anything, maybe she will feel a little tingle in her shorts and she'll get rid of the other guy.

 

Don't you know the saying? "Good girls like bad boys?" She wants a bad boy, she thinks you're just her "buddy." You're in the friends zone already and it's going to be very hard to get out of. My take is when you are with her, you tend to be this "gay buddy" who listens to her, tries to be "the nice and understanding guy." In other words, the "pussy." I hate to tell you this buddy, but man the fuck up and tell her how you feel. Let her know you're serious about her, you want to take her out, you want her to be your gf. If she doesn't bite, then forget about her and move on.
"Be a man" is my best advice.

 

Yeah she wants a bad boy, you're too nice and she can walk on you she's already figured that out, just move on bud

 

...yes indeed...but yeah dude, don't waste your time. I know you probably will still chase her because your dick is thinking for you and you won't listen to reason, but if you do, then you will do yourself a favor by moving on and just be her friend. Once she sees that you are capable of enjoying your own life and you are not emotionally dependent on her to be happy (or potentially happy in this case) then she MAY start getting interested. I find that when ppl say it's hard to get out of the friend zone, it's not true (at least not for me). You just gotta know how to convince them that you are in control of your life before you become desirable to the girl. If you are dependent on her being with you and you keep telling her, then you might as well tie your cock in a knot and go sit in the corner... But good luck either way!

 

stop talking to her, shes making you go through hell for no reason, just..'get away' from here, no more answering calls or texts.

 

Why so many games? Move on and find a more worthy chick with your time & money... You're only 17 ... maybe when you go to college / university / start working will you realize that there is a world outside of high school.

FYI: the girl is playing with you ... she wants to see how she can manipulate you ... and yes, you are being played. Swallow your pride, accept what happened to you, and learn from the experience.

 

okay, im going on a date this saturday. I read this at work, ran into a girl at the mall that i met graduation night, we're hanging out saturday. and yes, i will tell THE girl about this sunday. and yes, sunday is my last push, the last stand, if you will. lol
btw, badboy4life, how did you know she texts me?..aceho, stop acting like you dont know me, bff. LOL

 

OKAY. MAJOR UPDATE. So the girl I made a date with for saturday, can't do it saturday, But she can do it SUNDAY! So I guess its a sign I should not go to houston. And that's what exactly I'm doing. The moment the new girl told me this, I text the one I'm after, and told her I can't come sunday. Its been about 12 hours, and no reply. I think this was the 1st step on the road to getting over her. I'm glad.

 

^^^Good for you, im glad you told the girl in Houston your not coming!

 

Good boy.

 

Congratulation and good luck to you with the new lady.

 

Good job!

 

The weekend has passed, so where's the update?

 

Yeah really, i wanna hear an update!

 

More importantly

 

Okay, so went on the date with the girl. SHE'S CRAZY. Great personality,BUT SHE'S CRAZY MAN!! Hahaha. And the girl that I was chasing is leaving to go out of country today, I've decided not to talk to her till she comes back. Hey, atleast I'm not hooked anymore!! Overall, I'm happy with the deicision =)

 

I'm come to the conclusion that all girls are crazy or make stupid choices/they are dumb...sorry Erica. All the girls I know fall under that generalization. It's just a matter of how much you can put up with.

Glad to see you've moved on.