I agree.....I dont think your girl is being totally truthful with you. Im sure it was more then a "kiss" probally involved tongue. Ive heard girls say "he forced himself on me" routine so manys times.

In my opinion long distance relationships dont work the majority of the time.

 

Long distance relationships might work with 2 older mature adults but not with 2 people going to college 2500 miles away.

Tell her to hit the bricks.

 

I would say the cheating factor directly correlates with maturity and age.

 

Hold on, some guys sound like they don't even scope out a hot girls ass when she walks by if they are in a relationship. I don't think I'm the only one who can recognize that when I see a nice piece of ass (what it is) I have to imagine, it's only natural if you are a healthy stright man.
That said, there is very little difference between actually pursuing that ass and scoring with success and just acknowledging the potential. And a big reason guys do it is to participate in the sport of bagging girls, simply put. I mean, one of the oldest situations is the cave man dragging the girl by the hair into his cave, its not like that by accident. And I in no way condone hair pulling... unless she begs for it, lol.

 

I agree with ron, there is nothing wrong with appreciating beauty. I even mention it to my gf everytime I see a great body or a sexy face. The problem is when men go beyond just looking by striking a conversation, so on and so forth...

 

Covert phone calls, sudden hangups when you enter the room, money spent that is unaccounted for, etc.

 

I like the way you said that. You make us sound less of a pervert.

 

My exwife cheated because she was out of control and didn't give a fuck. She is kind of deranged after hearing all the shit I didn't know about.

Honestly, age doesn't mean shit anymore these days. And the word "love" is flung around so much there is barely any meaning to it...most people use it just to dupe the one they lust for.

 

...at least you're not bitter.

And I agree with Ron. I might be engaged, but I still go out with the my friends pretty regularly and can appreciate beauty...I just appreciate the beauty I already have at home much much more!

 

I have a lot of respect for that statement. I mean, sure, my good friends at college KNOW that i'm the girl who is 100% GUARANTEED to make a comment when there's a guy present with long shaggy brown hair. But would I ever jump on it? Hell no.

 

I'm not...this happenned a while ago, so I was able to get the bitterness out.

The relationship you have with your fiance' is what most people are looking for. I just hope it doesn't change when you get married to her.

 

why not

 

Isn't there an emotional component that should go along with anything physical?

 

NO! It should not but it does. LOL

Just kidding For women it should for men its not suppose to but it sometimes does.

 

Amen.

 

Disclosure: My Theory For 2-2-2007 (Life is an evolving process & my thought process could change for anything from no particular reason to a life altering experience)

It starts with the person...Cheating only occurs when you emotionally or legally attached to somebody & the other person is lead to believe by YOU that you are not & will not become involved on any level with anybody else but them.
Now! Reality. Life is short, & it should be lived to the fullest. There are certain things that everybody just WANTS to do for various personal resons. Certain actions that people long to carry out because of an internal desire. But Some things you just WON'T because the ADVERSE RE-ACTION bears a cost that is just too much for your little red wagon to pay.
For instance you may have to desire to beat the shit out of somebody & the adverse reaction would be...Jail.

Which moves us to FEAR. How much respect do you have for that adverse Action & its impact on your life. (some people dont mind going to jail a few times, for others going once for a small crime ruins their entire life) Well if you have No concept on what that adverse reaction is then you move as close to it as you can get with out crossing the line.... RISK

Risk! The closer you get to that adverse reaction & dont cross the line, further you will go next time, (remember you want the most out of life with out...You know... Destroying it.)
Eventually you grow into your own comfort & moral levels. If you push the envelope & you find yourself in a position where you actually suffer that ADVERSE Action then. You will usually go back to the boundery that you were at before you got caught. If you can deal with it then you say fuck it start over & do it again & try not to get caught.

Now Im going to work this into the discussion.
Attration to the opposite sex.(or same sex if you a fudge packer or a carpet muncher) Its a fact of life.
Out of all the people on this planet you find only ONE person you are attracted to... If your normal thats bullsh!t, Or you need to get out more.

The euphoric state thats acheieved when you first meet a person that you fancy; Keeps you distracted. It a new addition to your life. Congratulations you just enhanced your quality of life by adding a person to it. Some have an ability & a tendency to ignore, those other attractive people of the world. Temporaily...

Life...evolves Time... Passes. You reach a plateau!
You work your significant other into your life. They are a part of your life... maybe the best part but still part of your life.
It becomes the norm.
Sometimes I think life almost happens to you, things are thrown your way & its up to you to deal with them as you see fit. On the other hand the world is yours. You establish and are in control of what you want to get out of it.

After your life is normal again Your relationship is no longer new, You comeback down to reality & holy shit, theres other shit going on. & your life doesnt evolve around your significant other & Oh shit & you don't revolve around hers either. So once you stop spending every waking moment thinking about her, when your not around each other. You have free space in your head to think about other shit & free time in your schedule to fill it up, with ..whatever!
Enter the Next Factor/boy toy chic on the side or my favorite word B18 Chic say it with me..."Jump off"
& The more that person intrigues you the further you move towards them.

Question is how much do you wanna play.
Some examples:
Talking isn't cheating right, ...Plus who knows what your intentions are but you. (No risk Impossible to get caught) Ask Her a few questions... How does she respond to you & tha fact that your talking to her, & how do you feel about it... is your body sending her a signal that you can deny because you didnt say it......, Do you want to talk to her again after this encounter & How Bad (Slight risk Phone numbers, E mails, Contact info has to documented somewhere... Its evidence) but if you go into a place where she frequents like her job, or a gym, or she comes to your job, for example then, you almost have to tell somebody everything in order to get caught.
F.F.
Talking to this girl on a more frequent basis arent we... But there are people around I wanna talk about other stuff, Not in public, Maybe E mail or like the phone but you can get caught what if So & So Finds out she'll be crushed, but Im so damn curious & turned on by her... ok we can exchange numbers.
Your washing dishes, at home your girls over, (this happened to me when I was younger) "Whos Stephanie"...............OH SHIT!!! HOW THE FUCK??? You turn around like mrs doubtfire snuffed you with a lime, only to see YOUR Phone in her hand. I could have lied but I was caught she wasnt a co worker or a cousin I wanted to stop & not take anymore risks of lying.
BUSTED = Adverse Action.
Whew ok lets never do that again. adverse action wasnt life altering so ill take that risk again. But be smarter about it.

That allows you to move onto the Next level:
Face to face/one on one time. (moderate risk) Who is this person & what are you doing around her.
Precaution: Where. Can't be a place where anybody that knows the two of you will see. Maybe a car in a busy parking lot or in a crowded room, like a lounge or maybe around friends, where the two of you can disappear,...or not. Maybe at the end of the night you walk her to her car, I mean your hanging out with your boys & she had to leave early, so you wanted to make sure she made it to her car safe... She thanks you & give a little peck kiss.
You run back in side with your boys & carry out the rest of the night.

Now STOP: You have a girl you love. What are you doing. The kiss was innocent but how do you feel about it. Before you answer, I would say if your the type of person that does not cheat, Some Innocent intimate contact like a peck kiss or a hug is the gray area that Non cheaters start to lie to themselves, men & women.

If you carry on to the alone time. Usually thats where the officially cheating begins. Because the emotional cheating can only be verified by you, & I would say The peck kiss & huging incidents have an adverse effect but are usually forgiven by most people.
Non cheaters usually go into this time thinking were just going to hang out.

Some significant others may understand this & believe whatever the guy or girl told them, but as far as im concerned...Your behind closed doors, when nobody else is around with another guy & i wasn't around..... you fucked 'em.

Each encounter without a catastrophic negative result, is a green light to do it again, & with the way society is going, what people accept, its only going to get worse. Its getting easier & easier to camoflague an affair.

All of the relationship advice that these women are getting sucks.
I say women because a guys relationship advice is like "Bros B4 Hoes" or dude Just Bang her, Or Then bang somebody else. Short simple & honest.


Theres alot more to the risks & getting caught thing but....

Im gonna go get a drink!

 

^^^ what an amazing post.

Couldn't resist nodding my head all the way through.

 

That was a great way to break it down!

 

nicely done.

 

my wife cheated because she i was the "nice" guy. Apparently I was an asshole from time to time, but she f'ed around with a guy that physically abused her. She's not with him any more...last time I talked to her, she's with another guy that is just as bad as the last.

She calls me pretty often telling me how much of a fuck up she is and wished she didn't get rid of the "nice guy."

 

CJ Majesty, right on, must be a NY thing to comprehend human instinct and rational...

 

Assuming you had at time truly cared for her, you must feel sorry for her. That said, if an ex-gf/ex-wife said that to me, I would feel pretty nice about it. She is probably looking to come back to you, but if you have someone else now, I would tell her to learn to make the right choices next time. If you don't have anyone right now, I think she just gave you the green light.

 

Green light or not, I don't think it's a good idea to give it a 2nd chance. I mean history tends to repeat itself and girls like that are just predestined to be with abusers no matter how hard they try not to be.

 

Bingo..

It's just natural instinct to want to have sex with other woman. It's our conscious that separates us , but deep down, we're still the same as any other creature out there.

Not that i'm a cheater (b/c i'm not) but i believe thats the simple reason....

 

CJ majesty very well put, i agreed the whole way through.

I've never cheated, but cant say I'm exactly innocent. Most of your justifications are exactly how i felt, and still do.

well put.

 

How do I know if she will be....a cheat..a cheat. If she is a cheat....I will crush her.

 

I couldn't agree more. I'm already dating someone else though. Too bad for the ex.

 

I used to cheat on every girlfriend I had until I met my wife. Haven't thought about it since. I guess that is why I married her. I figured that until I decide to marry someone it doesn't really matter....otherwise what's the difference b/w dating and getting married?





Plus....i am scared of my wife

 

Looking at other chicks and wondering what they would be like in bed is pretty normal I think. But following thru is i a big no no when you are married.

 

Its normal for guys eyes and thoughts to wonder in the presence of a beautiful women. If they didnt wander you might be a little :theghey:

I personally would never give a girl a second chance after she has cheated on me. Thats just one of my rules, and its so true that "nice guys" always finish last

 

Anyone that would stay with a cheater is a tool...

 

i wish i could have an open relationship, where her and i could bang anyone we please as long as the other partner agreed to it.it's just sex,i'll fuck someone i really hate just for the psyical feeling if they look good(they just have to stfu). if i take you out in public,am nice to you,KISS you(no kissing needed in fucking),let you stay over,buy you stuff etc: that to me is a relationship.real feelings,not just the ones you get below the waist.

 

think of it like this,you love your acura(or whatever car you own/love) but wouldn't you like to test drive a ferrari or something else exotic/fast/lux or whatever your poison is. you always want what you can't have,and when/if you get it you'll prob want something else........

 

^^^she'll probably see it. my girl goes thru and reads my old posts all the time

 

lol Damn us men for being the visually stimulated creatures we are. I've been cheated on plenty of times before but never cheated myself. I've decided to give up and stay single (Plus Im much Happier this way). As a man when we see something we like or have a specific preference for (like breast, legs, ass etc) we associate that to good or great sex. Our subconcious thinks she's physically fit for your children, so we bang . This is one of the reasons why I can never understand when a woman says she cant get laid. Thats a damn lie. Its extremely easy to get a man's attention. Of course self control is the biggest issue in this thread. Some people just need a little of that

 

Yes, very important. Listen to what your partner wants. It always makes a big difference. Fetishes, prefences whatever

 

F*** cheaters, I pride myself on not being 1.

 

Well, I've changed my mind. I went through some weird situations in the familly and I have come to the conclusion that yes, it is intinctual to want to fornicate with other women, and in some cases, just knowing you can is enough. But it is very important to stay faithful and maintain a smooth relationship throughout your life, when you are married with children of course. Besides, STD's and psycho jump offs can really mess things up for you, your partner and your kids. best to just beat off to porn once in a while to get the urge to cheat out of your system. too many strings attached to messing with a live Hoe.

 

dang thats some deep shit

 

> Cheating