Titand19

if you want to meet girls, just act like you have money, or slip them hundred dollar bills.

btsilver

girls are cold hearted, evil, manipulative bitches. You just gotta beat them at their own game.

sasha

phipark

I would just kill myself and get it over with.

Acuraluvr

iTrader: (2)

grab some ass and scram

amisconception

Just assume she really doesn't give a shit about you and this guy rocked her world.

Who cares? She moved on and she's going to do whatever the hell it is that she wants. Do you want to continue to sit there and think about it or do you want to get over it? If you WANT to continue to mope and cry, then stop posting about it here because no one wants to hear it. If you want genuine help you have to be committed to changing your attitude and ultimately your life.

You need someone to kick your ass and show you that this girl isn't worth your mental health, or much less, the time of day. You're focusing way too much on this girl. You need to redirect your attention to something that matters to YOU and it can't be her.

What she did is classless? Maybe. You didn't expect it? Ok. You're really hurt? Forget it. She's young and she's changing all the time. She's immature and probably doesn't know how to handle her feelings just as much as you don't. Nothing is going to change that and NOTHING is going to change how she feels for this other guy. Attraction isn't a choice you conscioully make and NOTHING you do will bring her back to a healthy place in your life.

Sitting here thinking about this isn't going to make you a better person and it's not going to help you get over her. You need a much more proactive approach to women, dating, and ultimately discovering your sense of worth. No real man would take the things that you're taking. Why? Because they know they don't have to. They don't have to suffer because they know that they're in demand and that they will have options and future choices in their life. And women? What about them? Who cares, ya they're fun and can be a very rewarding part of life, but they're not everything. You don't feel this way. You feel utterly hopeless. You have ZERO self-esteem.

So like I said, you have to make a committment to change or you're just going to suffer like this for a year or longer until one day a girl with low self-esteem herself will find something in you she'll find somewhat attractive. Then you'll enter into a weak relationship and this whole cycle will continue again.

Instead, you have the perfect opportunity to turn this heartache and depression you're in into something great. You can change your life from here. But you have to decide it for yourself. Because if you don't, nothing's going to change.

"If you keep doing what you're doing you'll only get what you've got."

amisconception

This didn't bring your confidence level down. Nothing she did brought your confidence level down. Confidence comes from within you. It's not something other people can assign to you. You never had much confidence to begin with.

Confidence is acheived through knowing you're worth something. You don't feel this way about yourself. If you did, you wouldn't take what she's putting you through.

Learn to move on and grow as a person.

amisconception

Yup. She doesn't want you and she probably never will. She probably thinks you're a big pussy, too. She's probably ecstatic now that she found a real man. Why do you think she's fallen so quickly for him?

Look, take this opportunity and seize it. Take all those feelings you have inside of you and redirect that energy elsewhere. If you put as much attention as you did on her into something like school or your career you would end up incredibly satisfied in knowing that you accomplished something and that you aren't dependent on her or any other girl for your well-being. You have to learn to be a man.

Where is your dad?

Amoeba

A real man is someone who doesn't give a shit about her, and just wants some pussy and to party all the time? I gave her all she ever wanted, and stuck up for the things I believed in. I don't know how that led her to feel as if she was married.

amisconception

No, a real man isn't someone who doesn't give a shit about people and just wants pussy and to party all the time. That's very, very far from what I'm saying.

A real man isn't someone who hinges his happiness on the happiness of a woman who doesn't care about him. A real man doesn't take things he doesn't want in his life. A real man is a master of his own destiny. Different men have different priorities. Some of those priorities are school or their career. Whatever it is, they focus on those things and accomplish them. Men conquer nations, develop economies, fight for civil liberties, raise families, etc. You're sitting her being defensive about some girl who doesn't want you anymore. Put it in perspective.

If you're going to ignore what I'm saying then say so, that way I can stop wasting my time.

amisconception

Tell me that you don't want to feel the way that you're feeling now because I'm starting to think that you enjoy the things you're going through.

Amoeba

No, Im taking in everything you are saying and I deeply appreciate it. I'm just saying I think this thing with this guy is just a fling, but I shouldn't even worry or care about that, I see where you are going with that, and I appreciate everyone's input on this thread.

amisconception

Maybe it is a fling. Maybe it's serious. In the end it's irrelevant because you don't have to put up with it if you don't want to. You're putting yourself through this very unnecessarily.

Move out of this situation and focus on yourself for a while.

Amoeba

Okay I wrote her a facebook message saying that its taken me these 5 days and all my bitching to sort things out and figure out the deal. I told her maybe she'll change in the future and become the patient, loving, honest, sensitive, intellectual girl she used to be, or she'll continue to be immature and never change. I told her though that I am finally moving on from her and not caring about what she does, and I'm going in my own direction to find someone who loves me for who I am.

Amoeba

I am taking the steps to move on now.

teg_to_bike

Advice of the year.

This is so much more important and deeper than trying to impress girls. You first need to impress yourself, then impressing others will be a breeze. Once you find your passion in life it will start to fuel everything else in life... and until you find it, you don't know who you really are.

I'm sure at the age of 19 you haven't figured this out yet... hell at 24 I have no clue what my passion is. Try new things, find out what you enjoy doing, find out what really makes you happy. Once you've figured it out, everything else will start to fall into place.

teg_to_bike

...and if D&R needs a new mod, I nominate amisconception...

Amoeba

One last thing, you ever think I'm going to get a call from her ever again?

AS3.0CL

if she decides to come back crawling or pull her head oput of her ass because at that time she may realize that she fucked up possibility

M TYPE X

No shit! Life's gotten a lot better for me since I got into grad school with a great funding package to boot.

I'm the best!

... okay, ladies. Anytime now.

astro

wow, i swear i've never read every word in this thread 2 times before, 6 months ago...

Amoeba

I was waiting for you to come in for the kill

youngTL

Who fucking cares? You sure shouldn't!

If she DOES do something that stupid, then hang up the damn phone as soon as you hear her voice. Or cut her off and tell her to shut her bitch mouth because you don't want to talk to her, EVER AGAIN, and THEN hang up the phone!

GoDucksCLSPride

If this still concerns you, you're not ready for our advice

/thread

ludachrisvt

iTrader: (2)

omfg dude. why do you even talk to this bitch? I think thats why amisconception stopped talking to you. STOP TALKING TO THE BITCH NOW OR I WILL COME DOWN THERE AND KILL YOU

ludachrisvt

iTrader: (2)

WHO FUCKING CARES. MOVE ON NOW OR DIE.

kthxbye.

ludachrisvt

iTrader: (2)

If she calls again, dont answer. Pretty simple. If she KEEPS calling, when you answer let her blabber on and then say "look, I have moved on. I suggest you do the same" then resume silence again.

She is a young woman man. They want to explore. You CANT be mad at her for living her life. You can not be mad at her for acting exactly like what she is. Now grab your nuts, follow amisconception's advice and MOVE THE FUCK ON.

Amoeba

How do I not have the right to be mad at someone who I've shared many many moments with for 4+ years, and one day she just walks away? I don't have to worry about her calling, she hasn't for the past 2 days. I guess she was unhappy and hanging on until she found someone that if she was sure she split with me she had a chance with. I think that she just likes all the new attention and it'll be a quick thing. I don't really care though, her loss.

youngTL

Of course you have the right to be upset. HOWEVER, that ISN'T GOING TO HELP YOU! Do not talk to her under ANY circumstances. She is officially a HEARTLESS BITCH.

By letting these emotions get the better of you, she still has power over you. If I was there right now I'd backhand you so hard you'd see stars! You're so enmeshed with her that you're not your own person anymore. Take yourself back for YOU!

fdl

You're a fuckn tool. You deserve everthing you get.

GoDucksCLSPride

I disagree with his right to be upset. How exactly should one leave a relationship from a spineless co-dependent? She left him and thats that. Shit happens and she neednt further commit her life to a flame that has been out for way too long.

We have all witnessed this relationship drag on for months with obsession driving one side and indifference driving the other. The end was imminent and was only prolonged by the indifferent side remaining tolerant.

Now she has motivation to face the drama and struggle of removing a co-dependent from her life - and that motivation is another man in persuit of her. Before that, it was easier just to tolerate his nonsense. That makes perfect sense to me and is very common in relationships. We all tolarate at one time or another because the alternative, whether it be drama or lonliness, is often worse. Although in this case, id imagine drama avoidance was her instigation.

Now she is leaving him but she is a heartless bitch? In my opinion, this was a long time coming. It was just never worth the struggle of hurting him/dealing with his retorts until now. I dont see why she should be faulted for that.

amisconception

She shouldn't be faulted. Look what she has to work with No wonder she's been fickle with you.

saiko_cl_duck

while trying not to sound like a heartless asshole, i gotta say this thread has proven to be as worthless as tits on a tranny. Go play some Barry Manilow and cry, it's sounds like it's been coming for a while.

CKcentral

Dont ask us for our advise and then not listen one bit.

Mike 350Z

Bro, you need to shape up and realize that this one girl should "be dead to you." Literally. Pretend she doesn't exist. Take her off your buddy list, facebook friends list, phonebook, EVERYTHING. You want to get to the point that if she does call you because she's feeling lazy one night and needs someone to cook dinner for her that you just laugh and hit the "ignore" button. But you'll never get there until you get rid of her completely.

Oh, listen to amis, that's some of the best advice i've seen here in a while. People pay $100/hr to hear that shit from a counselor, and you just got it for free.

Stop thinking about being "such a great guy and doing everything for her." Guys that do that are called husbands and most girls don't want husbands until they're like 24-25.

RMATIC09

Stop thinking about the "all the good memories" for 4+ years, it SUCKS, its going to be HARD, but you keep on worrying about talking to her, you will never get passed this unless you STOP!!!!

you guys were highschool sweethearts, which hardly ever continues through college.

Chr8808

iTrader: (1)

I would say she will eventually call when her life calms down - maybe senior year when the fun slows down and when she has time to think back about her past.

Chr8808

iTrader: (1)

So true, on both statements

Amoeba

Alright thanks for all the advice, I've been talking to my dad alot and he's discussed a lot of qualities that I shouldnt want to put up with her, because in the long run I wouldn't be happy, and not to mention her family isn't the best either, although that shouldnt subtract the love for the girl, it makes things harder, not to mention shes half jewish and a jewish wedding would be more drama. My dad said he always has seen her as not jewish, and someone who likes a southern type of guy. I guess after all she's not the best fit. I took her off of facebook, my buddy list, and my phone. She still pops up in my head, but I immediately try to think of something else.

RMATIC09