Amoeba

Alright so the girl I was dating for 4+ we have been together the past few months after we had a 3 month breakup (but we saw each other every day).

Anyhow, I have had a lot of trouble with her, she blames jealousy on me, I say its not. She went out to lunch with this guy alone and I caught her and she lied to me the whole time about where she was going. Then she told me that her sorrority set her up with him to go to formal. Obviously, I was pissed and told her she needs to go with me and tell him she's not going with him. I was also angry that she refused to put on facebook that we were in a relationship, because my friends and her's got thrown off by this. Anyhow she went to a "crush" party the other night at a fraternity house and met this guy who likes her. I had enough and bitched her out. She's acted very selfish, and non concerned about my life lately. We ended up breaking up, and she said that she thinks we can have a future but right now she needs time away from my nagging, so that she can change the mistakes she made, and so that she can experience new things she is only 19.

She never goes out, except to dance with me once in a while, but the past 4 days she has gone out, and one night even called me at 5:00 a.m.on the way back from the fraternity house of the kid who likes her. She's also been hanging out with him alot. I'm not sure if she is doing this as a front to piss me off and get her mind off of me, or if she is really enjoying herself. Anyways, I'm getting jealous because she's out every night and my friends dont want to go out and i'm sitting at home thinking about her not meeting anyone new. After 4+ I can't understand what I did wrong, as I have always done everything she wanted and always treated her amazingly. I keep analyzing the situation and what she is really thinking and I've been driving myself crazy, I can't get my mind off of her even though she's done all these dick things to me. I also feel like I'm already off of her mind and she doesn't care about me. She told me we shouldn't talk as she is wiping me off of her mind. I feel like the 4+ years was a waste of my time and life.
All I've been doing is sitting around thinking of her and going to bed early to make another day pass.

I know you are all going to change my name to amoeba and flame the fuck out of me, saying grow some balls etc. I know I need to forget her and get her off my mind. The question is how?

You're all going to say meet some new friends, go out, meet some girls, and be more social. I know thats the answer, but I wish it was more simple. It's not easy at such a big school to meet new guy friends, and when I do go out to a club, or party I do not drink and feel out of place .I'm not great with seeing a girl I think is attractive and somehow making a conversation out of no where with her. What can I do meet girls and not feel like a dumbass or uncomfortable? I havent been trying to meet or get with girls since I was 15 so I'm at a major disadvantage.

CLIFFNOTES:
My g/f of 4+ years that I previously got back together with after a few months, says that we are different people now, that im too emotional and nagging, and she holds her feelings in and always will, and that she's going to move on and experience new things and get me out of her mind. She says in the future if we are meant to be we will get back together. I can't get her off of my mind even though I know she's a bitch, and I'm trying everything to forget abotu her. But all I do is sit all day and think about her and how I did anything wrong to mess things up. I go to bed early just for another day to pass by. I want to go out, but my friends stay in a lot, and its not easy to meet new guy friends. I don't really know how to go to a party and just come up and randomly meet another girl, especially if shes with her friends. I havent tried since 15+. Basically I need some advice, and yes I know I am a pussy, and yes change my name to amoeba again, I don't give a fuck, I just need advice.

Average Jose

i would quit wasting my time and move on. try finding someone who is looking for the same things in a relationship as you.

youngTL

You know, if you're having trouble with this whole thing, my advice is join a sports team. Pick a sport you like. Your teammates will become your friends, and with their support finding girls should be no problem. I'm 100% serious.

Amoeba

Sport team in college is pretty tough? I don't know any 18+ leagues in gainesville

moonraker

you guys not have intramurals?

and yea id say move on. her "need time to correct mistakes" or whatever the fock bullshit is her saying she wants to screw other guys, namely frat guy who shes been hangin out with.

also, drag at least one of your friends out so you got a wingman. if not, maybe join a frat (i assume youre not in one already). youll meet plenty of girls that way and itll make her jealous too if youre constantly hangin out with other girls.. either that or she doesnt care already bc she wants to whore around to put it plainly

i had a gf like that fresh yr of college too. then when i joined a frat and she joined a sorority things ended quick. mainly bc she wanted to "meet ppl" (read: whore around). which turned out to be a good thing bc i got to whore around too and ended up meetin hotter/cooler chicks ya know?

just let it go for now and try any means you can of meetin chicks. class? ask em for notes or to study. just start plantin seeds EVERYWHERE bc theres no harm in trying...

Amoeba

She's actually in a sorrority and I think that might be a problem, im in a fraternity but picked the wrong one and will probably be dropping

Amoeba

I would have no problem moving on if it was 4+ years because I keep remembering the amazing times we had and I keep thinking that she can go back to being how she was. It's hard to move on from someone who you spent so much time with, and then move on when you feel like shit because she just drops you one day and moves on. It makes you second guess yourself.

Lister00169

Renegade = Wetter than a swamp bitch's pussy

How many times do the people on this thread need to tell you to move on?
I know it's easier said than done, but you are 19 fucking years old! This girl is not the end-all girl for you.

I agree with YoungTL, you need to get some more friends and hang out with them.
Then you can have the correct support structure to help you through this. You obviously can't think for yourself, therefore having some good friends will help.

The Net-Net of what I just said, stop being the weak boy that you are and move on.

Amoeba

You basically repeated what I already knew. I'm wondering how when I see a girl I'm attracted to, be able to start a convo with her without her thinking i'm a weirdo coming out from no where.

Stokeless_TSX

when u first chop it up with a new girl dont be too serious. Women like guys that can make them smile and laugh. And when u ask questions make sure they are open ended. Meaning that the answer can't just be a simple yes or no. Something she will have to think about and actually come up with a response for. And dont seem to into her. Just casual conversation is the key. Make her laugh and smile a few good times then say good bye and you'll be back. Dip out of her immediate area for about 30 to 40 mins but keep an eye on her. If she is about to leave get on an intercept course quick. Bump into her and say "hey I was just looking for you", then come up with some story about how you were going to leave and just wanted to say goodbye. Then hit her up for her number to have starbucks or lunch some time. Dinner is a lil strong for some chics at first too initmate. So coffee and/or lunch is better on a first time. MAKE SURE TO MAKE HER LAUGH!

youngTL

It's easy. Just treat her like a person and not like a prize to be won. I meet girls all the time in my daily activities (like at the gym) and I'll just talk to them like anyone else. A simple "are you done with this machine?" or "do you need these weights?" is often enough to get her all chatty. Of course, for me, I have to get rid of these girls because I don't have any interest, but for you just keep talking. Girls love to talk.

And if you do land a new girl, do NOT FUCKING TALK ABOUT YOUR EX. IT WILL RUIN EVERYTHING!!

And what makes you say you're in the wrong fraternity? I know of only one bad fraternity on my campus and it's because they're known for being assholes to everyone else and only recruit those type of people. Otherwise you should be able to make friends with guys in any fraternity, unless of course you're a social retard beyond belief. Most guys are forgiving of social retardedness and will be friends with you anyway, so you'd really have to screw it up unimaginably.

1StGenCL

Dude im in the exact same boat except my girl has cheated on me and im finally not talking to her. You are right it sucks especially since i just graduated and moved home to ocala when my ex is up there living it up. we should hang out haha

Doc Holiday

Ok, honestly, do you not drink because you dont want to, or you just haven't experimented with it yet? If not, I'd say "try" alcohol, it can be your best friend, or your worse enemy. And when I mean try, I dont mean drink to the point where your stupidly drunk, and can't even talk correctly; take it to an extent at which you are buzzed, feeling good, but yet conscious and can hold a conversation normally. If and when you DO decide to drink and such, make sure you have friends that you know will be there to take care of you, in case something happens...

It will take some time especially for you to get over her, since you haven't had the need to go out and mingle with folks. Take some dance classes/lessons, start going to clubs. If at a party, just start talkin to girls, not just A girl to make her think that your tryin to hit on her unless she seems to be interested in you. Just basic simple questions, where are they from, what do they do, are they in a sorrority, just basic things to break the ice. If you see a girl that is interested, like she is actually payin attention and such, then thats when you should go and talk to her one on one...

As far as approaching a chick, it all depends really. Just gotta be confident in yourself, make eye contact, and if you get turned down, just brush it off and move on... Good luck...

btsilver

Transfer to another college. Out of State.

Amoeba

I can do all that, except I'm not the best comedian. And to Young TL, I'm definitely not a social retard, I get along fine with people, the key is first being able to meet them. I just don't know if I'm at a party and I randomly go up to a girl and say hey my name is michael where are you from, would make them feel like im sketchy and shit.

txathlete

I just read to the part where you said sorority. She's a sorority chic who wants to experience (many) dicks that's not you. It's simple as that. So-ho's, crush parties, etc... it's just a get drunk/get laid/multiple partners type environment. There are plenty of other sorority girls that don't fall into that lifestyle and aren't fat, ugly, or in the sororities other people/Greeks make fun of. Ditch this biotch and get yourself another girl.

Do you want to get back together with a girl who's had more sexual partners than you have? Can you live with that? Besides, you're young why commit to one person so early in your college career anyways?

txathlete

Besides, everytime you kiss her, you'll be thinking, "do I taste dick?"

youngTL

But you said you had a problem making guy friends. That should be easy in a fraternity unless all the guys hate each other

The key to meeting girls is having friends who help you meet them.

thatguy

yeah. Come bang some of these ASU broads, lord knows they need it.

txathlete

Here's a tip to find out if a girl has a bf: tell her that her bf must be a lucky guy. She'll either tell you she has a bf or not. If not, start making conversation. If she has one and you really like her, slighly complement her, let her talk about herself (b/c girls just love to be complemented and hear themselves talk), and then ask her for a date or her #. If she says that her bf won't like that, just tell her that you are interested in her and not her bf. Sometimes you have to be a jerk/aggressive to get the ladies.

**Disclaimer** I'm not an expert and this advice does not always work (but it does most of the time). So if you get shot down, take another drink and try again. Use at your own risk.

GoDucksCLSPride

There is nothing left to say about the relationship, it's done or will be soon so any advice there would be in futility. Doubtful it would be followed anyway.

What you need to hear, and to your credit, was actually asked, is how to move on/meet other people/get your mind of her etc.

Youngtl had a great suggestion with sports teams. I saw you rejected that claiming there is little opportunity at your school. Fair enough.

There are other similiar ways to get er done. i just moved to a new city 2000 miles from home and I have more pussy than I can handle in only 2 months that Ive been here. I didnt know a soul in the city before the move too.

What worked extremely well for me and got me on my social "feet" immediately was to find low pressure ways to be social. For instance, I like to learn organized dancing like Salsa, Swing etc. I found a bar that teaches it one night a week and have shown up on a lesson night a few times. Each time, i walk away with a new friend. Another bar down the block has trivia night once a week. i show up there with my roomie and get drunk and play trivia. Weve met a few groups of girls that way. What im getting at is, find situations where the theme isnt being directly social - like sitting at a bar. Find stuff where there is an activity so being social is only a biproduct of the activity. Whatever you're into, whatever hobbies you have - im sure it exists somewhere in your city/university on a larger scale. Seek it out and have some fun.

I hate to admit it but myspace has also been the hookup since my move. Not knowing anyone out here, i kinda had to rely on it initially to meet people in my area. Well, I found more cool friends than I can handle and have cut my time on AZ now to an hour a week because theres always shit to do, girls to drink and hot tub with, friends to hang out at the crib etc.

moonraker

confidence.

i think you realize now that you need to start moving on. and like its been said time and time again MUCH easier said than done... but just takes time.. and in your case, prob a decent amount of time.

but when it comes to meeting girls just be yourself and have confidence man.. dont "put the pussy on a pedestal" like its better than you or out of your league ya know? that will get you nowhere.

example: WORST case scenario is you never see or talk to that girl again. or maybe you get a friend out of it not a gf/bootycall, and that friend will then have other girl friends that you can meet and mack on.

this whole thread can be summed up with just that little bit of advice: move on (will take time just give it time), get out anyway you can and meet anyone and everyone, be yourself and have confidence and just take it easy dont put pressure on yourself. the attractive girls arent necessarily out of your league just bc theyre hot. they're just as insecure as you, if not MORE. do it to it man, good luck

amisconception

You definitely need to work on your self-esteem. This girl doesn't want you, and hasn't wanted you, and you've felt the way you've felt for a long time now. It's clear to all of us that your sense of self-worth is shattered.

Confidence isn't something you can fake, at least in the long term it's not. You can kick a line or two to a girl at a bar and pretend for a while. But, if deep down inside you aren't confident, you'll eventually break down and you'll show the girl you're trying to pick up that you're a fraud. You'll end up rejected and it'll just make you feel even worse about the whole dating thing and yourself.

So, this is what you do. You have to develop your self-esteem. You have to reinforce it with values, ideas, experiences, etc. You have to reinforce it with things that make you stronger. And that can be whatever it is you desire. If it's sports and athletics, then pursue that. If it's the gym and working out, then pursue that. If it's music, then write a song and learn to play the guitar. It can be school, work, anything. The point is, you need something to focus on and turn into something you can touch, learn and feel inside of you. Something that you can be passionate about. You need to tap into what makes you feel really, reall good. And, this is important so pay attention, it can't rely on how a girl feels about it or you. In other words, you have to not give a shit about what any random girl might think. You have to pursue this "thing" that you choose for your OWN reasons.

Once you develop a good sense of your self-worth you can get a lot better at talking to girls because you know you're worth something and that you won't take shit from girls. This attitude conveys strength to women, and that strength is attractive. That strength is confidence. It's confidence in yourself as a man and as a lover. This is why it can't be faked. Any girl worth a night in bed isn't going to fall for lame tricks or false personalities.

Once you don't feel so damn bad about yourself and life and start feeling a bit optimistic you should simply start talking to girls. Don't even talk to girls with the intention of asking them out. Just get comfortable talking to them. After that, put yourself in awkward social situations and get comfortable with that. Before you know it, you'll naturally gravitate towards asking girls out. You'll want to do things and you won't be so hesitant because you've been talking to girls and you've realized that they're living, breathing, shitting people just like the rest of us. Your fear'll go away and you'll be a happier person... But it takes effort and well, if you want it, you'll do what it takes. If not, then whatever, it's your life.

1killercls

Barrel in mouth...pull trigger.

youngTL

This is probably the best advice I've ever heard. Renegade, LISTEN TO IT!

Amoeba

That is great advice, but what is pissing me off which I feel like I have the right to be is, we date for 4+ years and already she is telling this guy she litreally meant 3 days ago that she can't get him out of her head, and that she loves seeing him etc...and I can't believe that she is already hooking up with someone else right after such a long time of dating. I find it classless, but worse is I never expected it from her, I thought she was different, and that's why im really hurt,

CKcentral

This happend to me and my gf when we moved away from eachother and went to college our freshman year. We broke up after 2.5 years and it ended toward the end of my freshman year. It just happens man and from someone who's been through it...the quicker you get over it and move on the better off ull be. I know it will be hard cuz ive been there too but ive met so many other great ppl since her.

Scottman111

You're moving towards Tapeworm-like status.

RMATIC09

The reason she probably is hooking up with someone else so quickly, is becuase your relationship was going downhill way before an actual breakup.

Who breaks up for 3 months, and sees each other everyday? Understand what your saying.

A girl who goes out partying with a guy who likes her alot, has no intention on making your relationship better, if anything, it sounds like she wants to be single, and wants to go out and fuck, sorry man its the truth.

4+ years is a very long time, but instead of thinking about that, you learned from this expierence, hopefully ALOT, and now your at the age to move on.

Your academically set, go have some fun man, you make everything seem so....set in stone.

Time to find new vagina and move on. Its tuff now, but it will get easier, just stop going back to this bitch, shes old news!

Amoeba

It just sucks that I saw myself being with her in the future, and I felt like she was different then other girls I met, and not into peer pressure and whatever seems cool to do that day, but now she is totally different, and its hard coming to terms with that.

Mike 350Z

They all seem different, but in the end they're all driven by the same carnal urges as men are.

Amoeba

I just keep trying to figure out what I did that made her feel this way, and its bringing my self confidence down

Mike 350Z

You probably lost confidence in yourself and/or the relationship and she picked up on it. Or maybe you got clingy, which is a sign of the confidence loss part. Could be a couple things

Amoeba

I did kind of get clingy, but I don't know why that would turn her off so much after 4+ years instead of talking about it with me.

Chr8808

iTrader: (1)

Clingy = death to ANY relationship. Especially in your early college years, with so much new to explore.

SakiGT

She had he doubts about you and she probably has the same "Im so young" going through her head.

Dont force it. Let her do her thing and dont make her feel bad for wanting to meet new people. You had your shot...either its good enough for her or its not.

CKcentral

trust me it was the whole college thing and wanting to meet new ppl and try new things. Its what happend to me and my ex, but the distance didnt help either. Look no offense but you are just one guy in an area of 1000's of guys (and more if you move elsewhere). Same could apply for her too. I dont know if it anything you did as much as the relationship going downhill for a while.

Amoeba

Ehh, too late for that I already made her feel bad, but we aren't talking anymore. I just don't understand how girls work, and if she ended this because of me and she doesn't see potential in me, or if its because shes in college and wants to meet and try new things before she is ready to committ. She kept telling me the past few days before the break up, im only 19 and don't want to feel like i'm married, and thats how it feels.

Amoeba

I also think part of the problem is I became dependent on her as part of my life, and I didn't make many good friends that are girls, so I feel like I dont have anyone to talk to/do stuff with from the opposite sex

Mike 350Z

Well there ya go. Consider yourself lucky she actually told you that. Try not to be so clingy next time.