Becoming more than just frined
07-12-2012, 10:48 AM
#81
How can you expect to commit to a relationship with your priorities so out of whack? We've had people lose jobs and SOs because AZine is always #1.I really hate to say it, but the whole distance thing is raising a huge red flag in my mind. What is the best that can come of this? You come out, she accepts, and then y'all try to make something serious happen over 200 miles? It just doesn't work, IMHO. If you get in and bang, then it will become weird, and the friendship will fizzle.
I don't know. I'm not trying to say there is no point in trying, but it sounds to me like a poor way to spend your youth. You are 21. You will only be 21 once. Whether you are the type of guy who wants 300 different girls/year or 1 girl 300 times/year, you won't get either with this girl. What if it works out for 3 years, y'all get serious, and then upon realization of the impending lifelong commitment, you both realize it isn't right? Will the 6 visits/year be worth it?
There are more womenz out there that are just as good as this one and are within 10 miles of you. While I do believe in soul mates, I also believe in statistics, and the chances of this becoming that are realistically rounding to 0. If it were to become that, it would have already happened.
Wear that motto, pull up your boot straps, and go get yourself a girl that you can see every weekend and build a quality relationship with. Phone relationships are not the quality I aim for.Good luck, and may The Force be with you.
OP - I would try to not focus on her too much. it sounds to me she has you on some kind of string - whether intentionally or inadvertently. just make your case as soon as you can, but also keep casting a wide net in the meantime.
someone once told me, if someone wants to be with you, they WILL make time to be with you. i can understand the curveball life throws at you, with her being busy with internships and school. but if a chick genuinely wants to spend time with you in the "more than just friends" category, she will.
when i first met my current gf, she had a hectic work schedule coupled with school, but she made it a point to hang out with me even if she was dead tired. we would squeeze in a movie or a quick bite or whatnot. she even took a day off for me to go out of town. and it took not much effort on my part, other than letting her know i wanted to hang out and get to know her in *that* sense. like what everyone else said, if she's a smart girl and she wants the same as what you want, it should be a no-brainer.
so don't relegate yourself to this one girl. keep trying to hang out with others until you find someone who actually will make time for you. life is too short man.
someone once told me, if someone wants to be with you, they WILL make time to be with you. i can understand the curveball life throws at you, with her being busy with internships and school. but if a chick genuinely wants to spend time with you in the "more than just friends" category, she will.
when i first met my current gf, she had a hectic work schedule coupled with school, but she made it a point to hang out with me even if she was dead tired. we would squeeze in a movie or a quick bite or whatnot. she even took a day off for me to go out of town. and it took not much effort on my part, other than letting her know i wanted to hang out and get to know her in *that* sense. like what everyone else said, if she's a smart girl and she wants the same as what you want, it should be a no-brainer.
so don't relegate yourself to this one girl. keep trying to hang out with others until you find someone who actually will make time for you. life is too short man.
I'm sure if I had called her up and said we should do something some weekend, she would say OK and do her classwork later on.
But b/c I know she's all about her career and school I've never asked her to hang out until we reach a school break. Like, I never wanted to be a reason she might not have had time to study or something. But I see what you're saying. I guess I just wanna find out if there's something even there, before I look anywhere else.
07-12-2012, 10:51 AM
#83
Senior Moderator
Okay, well for Halloween, pitch the idea that you should be a p-MOSFET and she should be an n-MOSFET, and by then end of the night you want to make an inverter. 
"I have a source, you have a drain..."
"I want to implant my ions into your substrate."
"Hold on while I Fast Fourier Transform into something more comfortable."
"I have a source, you have a drain..."
"I want to implant my ions into your substrate."
"Hold on while I Fast Fourier Transform into something more comfortable."
Last edited by oo7spy; 07-12-2012 at 11:01 AM.
07-12-2012, 10:55 AM
#85
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-12-2012, 10:57 AM
#86
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-12-2012, 10:59 AM
#87
Senior Moderator
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justnspace (07-12-2012)
07-12-2012, 11:09 AM
#88
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07-12-2012, 11:10 AM
#89
Drifting
OK, I know for a fact that she has her career first. She wants to be an electrical engineer like me, but to save the environment and all that blah
I'm sure if I had called her up and said we should do something some weekend, she would say OK and do her classwork later on.
But b/c I know she's all about her career and school I've never asked her to hang out until we reach a school break. Like, I never wanted to be a reason she might not have had time to study or something. But I see what you're saying. I guess I just wanna find out if there's something even there, before I look anywhere else.
I'm sure if I had called her up and said we should do something some weekend, she would say OK and do her classwork later on.
But b/c I know she's all about her career and school I've never asked her to hang out until we reach a school break. Like, I never wanted to be a reason she might not have had time to study or something. But I see what you're saying. I guess I just wanna find out if there's something even there, before I look anywhere else.
IF she wanted to just bang, she would have already done so with you. women make up their mind if they want that or just friends. I'm sorry to lay it out to you, but it doesnt sound like you have a shot at being more than friends. like what oo7spy said, if it were the case, it would have already happened.
theoretically, if by being with you she doesnt become an electrical engineer, then that is her decision. but her decision is to become an electrical engineer, and not to be with you.
thats the fact that either you dont see, or refuse to accept.
07-12-2012, 11:11 AM
#90
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iTrader: (6)
Okay, well for Halloween, pitch the idea that you should be a p-MOSFET and she should be an n-MOSFET, and by then end of the night you want to make an inverter.
"I have a source, you have a drain..."
"I want to implant my ions into your substrate."
"Hold on while I Fast Fourier Transform into something more comfortable."
"I have a source, you have a drain..."
"I want to implant my ions into your substrate."
"Hold on while I Fast Fourier Transform into something more comfortable."
07-12-2012, 11:13 AM
#91
Senior Moderator
"I've calculated the precise position to place my pole in order to keep this from oscillating out of control."
"Let's match our frequencies and create some constructive interference."
"I bought a satin bed-spread to minimize our sheet resistance."
"I'm sensing some positive feedback. I bet if you turn me on, I'll saturate."
"I have a weak pull-up, but you were made to keep me grounded."
"I am measuring a very low resistance between my emitter and your collector."
"Let's match our frequencies and create some constructive interference."
"I bought a satin bed-spread to minimize our sheet resistance."
"I'm sensing some positive feedback. I bet if you turn me on, I'll saturate."
"I have a weak pull-up, but you were made to keep me grounded."
"I am measuring a very low resistance between my emitter and your collector."
Last edited by oo7spy; 07-12-2012 at 11:27 AM.
07-12-2012, 11:37 AM
#92
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OK, now you're reaching...
07-12-2012, 11:54 AM
#93
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
more like reach-around 
07-12-2012, 11:58 AM
#94
Senior Moderator
07-12-2012, 12:19 PM
#95
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Dios mio spy.. how are you married and with child is beyond me? 
07-12-2012, 12:21 PM
#96
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Poor Jefford Whiskerson III, he'll probably want to major in liberal arts. 
07-12-2012, 12:22 PM
#97
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
I want to di-pole your yagi uda.
-Majofo
-Majofo
07-12-2012, 01:42 PM
#98
Senior Moderator
07-12-2012, 02:10 PM
#99
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-12-2012, 02:15 PM
#100
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-12-2012, 10:23 PM
#101
OK, I know for a fact that she has her career first. She wants to be an electrical engineer like me, but to save the environment and all that blah
I'm sure if I had called her up and said we should do something some weekend, she would say OK and do her classwork later on.
But b/c I know she's all about her career and school I've never asked her to hang out until we reach a school break. Like, I never wanted to be a reason she might not have had time to study or something. But I see what you're saying. I guess I just wanna find out if there's something even there, before I look anywhere else.
I'm sure if I had called her up and said we should do something some weekend, she would say OK and do her classwork later on.
But b/c I know she's all about her career and school I've never asked her to hang out until we reach a school break. Like, I never wanted to be a reason she might not have had time to study or something. But I see what you're saying. I guess I just wanna find out if there's something even there, before I look anywhere else.
However, there was always tension between us and there were a few PG-13 hook up sessions throughout the years, and we'd go months at a time without talking.
I don't see that with you two though, so you may very well be too far onto the friend ladder already
But you'll never know unless you try 
07-12-2012, 11:00 PM
#102
Senior Moderator
07-12-2012, 11:15 PM
#103
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-12-2012, 11:15 PM
#104
07-13-2012, 08:12 AM
#105
Senior Moderator
...
Please!
I can only pay attention to picture books though.
Please!I can only pay attention to picture books though.
07-13-2012, 11:26 AM
#107
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-13-2012, 11:31 AM
#108
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-13-2012, 11:31 AM
#109
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
Also NDGT gets all the pussy.
07-13-2012, 12:11 PM
#110
Senior Moderator
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07-14-2012, 06:26 PM
#111
Meh, if I was in this situation (never been, so maybe I should stfu) I personally would just start kind of warming up to her, see how she reacts and just gauge it as I go. I saw an episode of that lol-tastic show on MTV "Friend Zone" and they get rejected like half the time. IMO one reason for that is because they really spring it all on them at once. Best idea is to up the kind of "not just a friend" behavior. Like maybe "accidentally" brush up against her titties or something like that. Make her go home thinking "I'm wondering if he likes me more than I thought" so that way she has an opportunity to kind of sit on it for a bit and consider it. Give her some time and space to think about it. But definitely be ambiguous about it. So that way if she doesn't react favorably, it'll be easier for you to retain a friendship.
IMO springing it all on her at once will only result in an impulse reaction, which is what you don't really want.
IMO springing it all on her at once will only result in an impulse reaction, which is what you don't really want.
07-16-2012, 12:16 PM
#113
Senior Moderator
Pics or GTFO.
07-16-2012, 02:06 PM
#114
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
07-16-2012, 02:24 PM
#115
07-16-2012, 02:34 PM
#116
Senior Moderator
^&
^^
07-16-2012, 04:22 PM
#117
Chapter Leader (Southern Region)
I tried it.. she was pretty shocked. I actually had to grab her hand to make the high-5 happen. I'm hoping she takes the next step. I might send her a text of my penis bulge in a few days if she doesn't get back to me. I'll say something like.. Do these jeans look okay? So the sexual nature will be ambiguous.
07-16-2012, 09:43 PM
#119
Advanced
If u really are friends, I would just put it out there. Sending flowers and all might be a lil overwhelming if she is caught off guard. I'd just bring it up non-chalantly, like hey, so what do you think about us hangin out when u get back into town, u know just the 2 of us. If she sounds freaked out by the idea- then run. But if she doesn't, she already knows the deal. Usually if we know the guy ahead of time, we can catch the vibe. If she asks why, then just tell her how youve known her for a while, like the friendship & want to see what more could possibly come of it. If you have a phone friendship with her odds are that she prob feels the same way about u, we don't go out of our way to BS over the phone for no reason. In person, sometimes chicks do, to get free dinner/drinks and whatnot, but not over the phone.
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justnspace (07-16-2012)
07-16-2012, 10:17 PM
#120
Men don't have platonic friends okay? we just have women we haven't fucked yet. As soon as I figure this out, Im in there! I mean we got some platonic friends, we all do. I mean I got some platonic friends, but they are all by accident. Every platonic friend I got was some woman I was trying to fuck , I made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone. Oh no, I'm in the friend zone! Women keep platonic friends forever. Why? Cos you never know! That's right.They came to the conference every six month , what happen to Pam? She thinks you cute! But they keep them platonic friends forever why? cos you never know. You know what a platonic friend is to a woman? It's like a dick in a glass case. In case of emergency , break open glass!
Last edited by leedogg; 07-16-2012 at 10:19 PM.
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97BlackAckCL (07-17-2012)