Majofo

Not like the pathetic examples I just posted though.

MissAlyyTL

Oh yea, that's for sure. Those poor saps lol. I actually have a friend who would week after week invite her "friend" out to go clubbing with us. He would spend thousandssss of dollarsa weekend, between paying our valet parking, VIP admission, numerous bottles of liquor, u name it. She would always get him to pay for her and all of her friends (guys included) bc shed tell him if he really was a good friend then he'd want to ensure that she'd have a good night & that's the way she would.

To this day I don't even know his name, she always referred to him as "bottle service"

I didn't think this is the case with the OP tho, since they have phone convos and he's not buying her crap lol

EvilVirus

iTrader: (8)

OP, regret doing something stupid than to regret for doing nothing at all. Be yourself dude, have confidence in yourself because women can see that in a person. MissAlyyTL seems to be your best advice. Pay attention to the signals your friend gives you i.e. body langauge, eye contact, etc.

Majofo

You can't fake confidence. Either you have it or you don't. It can be mimicked for a moment, but sooner or later the guys true colors will show and he'll probably come off as very awkward and phony.

OP is close friends with this girl. Only way to have a chance is be honest and tell her straight that he wants to date. The date is where you hit it off. That's what really needs to be planned. She knows you already, it's the date where you'll know whether or not she respects you, and if you have sexual chemistry. If you come off as a sucker like the aforementioned.. run away. The fact that you don't call her everyday or shower her with gifts is a plus.

MissAlyyTL

That is so true. Females will almost NEVER admit it, but being showered with gifts is a huge no-no. When you do that too often it is to be expected, and it's expected to be bigger & bigger each time. Some chicks will take that to the advantage and will either a)use you for it, b)lose appreciation for it, or c)think you are desperate and buying their affection bc u have nothing else to offer. What would happen if u did this and then one day lost your job & couldn't afford to? You want a woman who will stick by your side thru the hard times, not who will walk out the door when shit gets rough bc you "stop appreciating her" by buying her stuff.

Majofo

yep, and the root of it is respect. You should respect her and she should respect you.

PyroDave

what your husband says hahahaha


also, yea, you seem to have a good chance with her, you atleast good friends, and not an "orbiter". an orbiter is pretty much a guy that a girl has on the hook, doesnt constantly talk to him, but once in a while to keep him on the hook, he pays for her, she doesn't put out, but teases him.

the way i was brought up, the guys pay for girls. i have 1 or 2 very close friends who are girls aand when we go out to eat or something, i'll pay, but everytime she tries really hard to give me money or give her credit card to the waiter, so even though she knows its gonna happen, she tries, and i appreciate that. i dont buy random presents or stuff though.

good luck OP, just go for it. worst is she'll say no

MissAlyyTL

Good point. I ment don't gift her material items all of the time... However you MUST pay on dates if u want any type of chance. It is on the list of top 3 questions when interrogating our friends after first few dates. If you let her pay, or even went Dutch, no matter how much she may like you, in the eyes of every other female who knows u, u are a cheapskate and deserved to be dropped like a bad habit lol

Majofo

I'm not with that new age bs. Man pays, opens door, scoots seat back, etc.

PyroDave

true story. chivalry aint dead, girls just stopped liking the guys that have it for the most part, they prefer assholes until they grow up. im 19, so i know plenty of immature bitches haha

Majofo

19, you don't say.

PyroDave

yes majofo, im too young for you... im sorry. spread your :ghey: to whiskers =)

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

no, fool....

pixars of 18+yo women, please.

Majofo

I love whisky, calling paypal

oo7spy

Justin, we're in TX. 17 is acceptable as well, Dave.

Majofo

dF71K.gif

oo7spy

I don't make the rules; I just abide by them.

EvilVirus

iTrader: (8)

No one said to fake it; what little confidence he has should suffice. We all have it; its just some people dont realize it yet. You misunderstood fakeness with being just yourself.

However, i agree with your second statement.

TeknoKing

This thread is still here?

Pull down your pants. If she runs away like from a plague, move on. If she giggles, enjoy.

mrstak

iTrader: (1)

justin's got the right advice. up the sexual tension between you two. if there ever was a time to tell her you liked her...it was after that stupid hypothetical that you asked her where she said yea...and then you let it fizzle. facepalm.

follow justin and missally's advice. you should be golden if you do. if all else fails, do the "naked man" from how i met your mother.

iSeeYouTwo

So do you guys think OP was rejected and has fallen into a deep depression? Discuss!

TeknoKing

^ How about we discuss you now. How's the thug life?

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Majofo

It's not unusual to.. nvm

MissAlyyTL

Where's the option where she slaps him in the face and/or knees him in the junk? LOL

timecop

Sorry about the late reply. I've been in meetings all week, so checking AZ was on the bottom of my list. It's going to be impossible to reply to every single post, so I'll just go with one huge block of responses lol

@Louder I don't shower her with gifts, I give her the bday gift and that's about it. So I don't think I'll do that in this situation either. If I say we should hang out, she'll say yes, with no hesitation. Hopefully that's a good sign.

@MissAlyyTL Thanks for the great advice! She's been single since high school (she's starting her Junior year of college this Fall). I can't tell whether it's if she just hasn't found that someone, or if she's just not trying to date anyone.

@Majofo lol I am nothing like those examples...those pics did make my morning at work a little better tho haha
Yeah, I don't shower her with gifts, but I do call her every couple of weeks to see how life is etc, etc. Nothing weird....

@EvilVirus When I talk to her, I do have confidence. I feel like just knowing her for so long, she's not really looking for a relationship with anyone at the moment. But I could be wrong.

@PyroDave Thanks man. Yeah, we don't go out a lot together b/c she's busy with classes and student organizations during the year. And she always leave sthat state for internship opportunities. But when we do go out, I always pay. She always tries to pay when the waiter comes...we do the whole credit card thing, but I know she knows I'll end up paying. Now if it's something small and she insists on paying, I'll let her win that one on purpose...sometimes. Oh, and I'm 21 and she's 20...thought I'd put that in there since you mentioned age.

@iSeeYouTwo Doubt I'll fall into depression lol Just been busy with work.

I'm just gonna tell her and see what happens. I feel like with the broad group of people giving me advice, you all could help me with the outcome after I tell her. So if she likes me, how do I proceed. Or if she just wants to be my friend, how do I proceed. We'll see...

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

^just be yourself!!!!

TeknoKing

She may eventually kiss the booboo

I just don't understand the point of the thread. Go out on a 'date', spend time together, have a great time, and in the end just ask, I truly enjoy spending time with you are fun and gorgeous... Watch the response. It will say it all. If she is a bright girl, she would get it right away and guide you accordingly. Just keep in mind, respect yourself at the same time as you respect her; don't chase what does not want to be caught.

And post some pics will yeah, (not of you, rofl) this thread needs some life!

timecop

I just wasn't sure how I should go about telling her (if at all). I guess it's pointless, but I got some great advice!
I would love to just tell her that in person, but one of my main issues is, she's always too far away or busy to go just go out. In the summers, she does her internships in some other random state. And during the year, she concentrates on school and the student organizations she's in. I only realy see her on breaks (winter, spring, etc), or for our bdays. Other than that, it's all on the phone.
Sorry, no pics! justnspace got to see a pic and he approved lol

TeknoKing

I understand. How often do you guys talk on the phone/internet? (I'm just trying to grasp her interest as well)

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

if you really want something, speak up.

(i know this goes against what ive been telling you.)

but if you truely want it, go for it.

timecop

We talk on the phone maybe every 2 weeks (or 3, I don't keep a log lol). She doesn't really like talking on the internet (FB and Skype) unless she really has to...she's a phone person. I convinced her to get a BlackBerry last Christmas and so she's just now entering the world of texting, but she doesn't text me a lot, if at all. Which I think is normal for her.
I'll go one step further and tell you what a normal convo is like. We talk about school, family, life, friends, movies, comic book heroes (I think she mentions it b/c she knows I like them). And she always has some story to tell...so there's that. <-- All signs of srs friend-zone, I know

Thanks man. I'm gonna call her maybe this weekend and just tell her. And let TeknoKing know she's cute and I guess I'm normal looking lol

TeknoKing

When is the next time you will get a chance to see her in person? Is she far away now?

timecop

Probably not until September. Because her internship ends right before classes start at her university. So she'll come back home and go straight back into school. I say September b/c that's when my b-day is. Now if she finds time, we might hang out, but that's never happened before. She just jumps right back into school mode.
She's in PA for the summer and I'm in MD. It's a 4 hour trip, but the thing is...I know she'd be creeped out if I just appeared in PA, so I'm not considering going up there unless she says "you should visit me so we can hang out"

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

what part of PA is she in?

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

^creeper

timecop

She works in Pittsburgh, but I have no idea what city she lives in tho (she drives from her place to work). I'm guessing you live in "ShitsBurgh" lol
EDIT: She drives her parents old 3G TL...good taste in cars is also a +1

Majofo

Guide OP's cock, don't block it.

oo7spy

How can you expect to commit to a relationship with your priorities so out of whack? We've had people lose jobs and SOs because AZine is always #1.


I really hate to say it, but the whole distance thing is raising a huge red flag in my mind. What is the best that can come of this? You come out, she accepts, and then y'all try to make something serious happen over 200 miles? It just doesn't work, IMHO. If you get in and bang, then it will become weird, and the friendship will fizzle.

I don't know. I'm not trying to say there is no point in trying, but it sounds to me like a poor way to spend your youth. You are 21. You will only be 21 once. Whether you are the type of guy who wants 300 different girls/year or 1 girl 300 times/year, you won't get either with this girl. What if it works out for 3 years, y'all get serious, and then upon realization of the impending lifelong commitment, you both realize it isn't right? Will the 6 visits/year be worth it?

There are more womenz out there that are just as good as this one and are within 10 miles of you. While I do believe in soul mates, I also believe in statistics, and the chances of this becoming that are realistically rounding to 0. If it were to become that, it would have already happened.


Wear that motto, pull up your boot straps, and go get yourself a girl that you can see every weekend and build a quality relationship with. Phone relationships are not the quality I aim for.

Good luck, and may The Force be with you.

sixsixfour

OP - I would try to not focus on her too much. it sounds to me she has you on some kind of string - whether intentionally or inadvertently. just make your case as soon as you can, but also keep casting a wide net in the meantime.

someone once told me, if someone wants to be with you, they WILL make time to be with you. i can understand the curveball life throws at you, with her being busy with internships and school. but if a chick genuinely wants to spend time with you in the "more than just friends" category, she will.

when i first met my current gf, she had a hectic work schedule coupled with school, but she made it a point to hang out with me even if she was dead tired. we would squeeze in a movie or a quick bite or whatnot. she even took a day off for me to go out of town. and it took not much effort on my part, other than letting her know i wanted to hang out and get to know her in *that* sense. like what everyone else said, if she's a smart girl and she wants the same as what you want, it should be a no-brainer.

so don't relegate yourself to this one girl. keep trying to hang out with others until you find someone who actually will make time for you. life is too short man.