So here is the situation....

Broke up from a 4+ year relationship about 3 weeks ago. I met this girl that I thought was attractive about a month ago, but didn't really speak much with her. She is my roomate's g/f's roomate. Anyways, since I broke up before my fraternities formal, I had no one to go with. I asked my roomate to ask his g/f if the girl I met might want to come as friends, since she knew a decent amount of people going. Well it ends up she says yes, and before going to formal, my roomate and his g/f brought her out with me. I spoke with her for about a good hour and got to know her better. There wasn't much flirting either way. Anyways formal comes along, and the weekend goes well, nothing awkard, decent conversation, just hanging out.

I didn't really feel like she was interested, but this girl is very polite, kind, shy, and reserved so it is very hard to make a read. Anyhow, I didn't get her number because I didn't have a chance, and then I thought that was it. Two days later I get a facebook message from her saying thanks for bring her and how much fun she had, and then she started bringing up some topics of the stuff that happened at formal, and said that "hopefully she'll see me next year" (finals week is this week and next). So I respond with a nice message and said that I realized I didnt have her number and gave her mine. Well I never got a response from her and was like okay whatever.

So anyhow last night im ready to go out to a party and the roomate's g/f comes over with the girl from formal. So we say hi or whatever, and then we start talking for a few minutes, and shes like oh i have your number but I have to give you mine. Then everyone started drinking. Then when we walked to the party me and her kind of walked on our own with out own conversation, but still not really any special flirting. We get into the party and I say hi to my buddies and don't want her to feel like she's with me, so I give her space to hang out with her friends, but at the same time I hang out with her to let her know I'm still there. Towards the end we start dancing, and the party went well.

Then towards the end my buddy and I are talking with the girl, and my buddy is drunk as fuck and says to her about me isn't he hot? She responds and was like yea hes a nice guy. Then my friend goes oh you guys should go on a date, and she was like oh he's not dating right now, hes just chilling, we are just friends. Now Im trying to figure out if she was just saying that cuz the situation was awkward or if shes thinking how I just got out of a relationship, summer is coming up, and thinking maybe something will happen in the fall.

Anyways we walk back from the party together and chit chat a little, and she sleeps over downstairs on the pull out mattress.

So here's the deal, we have a lot of common, but I can't read her at all whether she is just being nice, interested, or what the deal is. I'm not good with closign the deal so I don't know how to take it to the next level, but now wouldnt be a good time with school coming to an end. Maybe she considers us to be on the "friend" level right now, but I'm not sure. How should I avoid lettign the window of opportunity pass and get stuck into the friend zone? she lives in miami, and I go down there sometimes to visit my uncle. I was thinking of giving her a call to hang out then. Besides this I wasn't thinking of calling her or contacting her during the summer, and wait till fall to call her to hang out. what do you guys think?

 

Start playing some offense.

Call her up and grab lunch together. Just the two of you.

 

Ask her out, not neccesarily on a date persay. Just out to lunch or dinner or something. If anything ask your roomates girl. I positive that conversation has happened between the two girls.

 

I would, but she has finals all this week, on saturday she might be coming to the party I'm going to. I asked my roomate if he has heard anything from his g/f about the girl, and he says they havent really spoke about it, maybe she keeps things to herself? The timing sucks because I can't really go on the offense with finals and then her going home, Im just wondering how to not get in the friend zone, and whether I should try to keep close contact in the summer, or wait for fall and call her up and ask if she wants to grab lunch.

 

call her ass and ask if she wants to go to lunch/dinner sometime next week. even if it is finals week. convince her, be like "im gonna need a study break so i thought id see if you needed one too." hell go get ice cream something simple to spend time with her

thing is though timing is horrible. if shes leavin for the summer shes obviously not gonna want a bf out of the situation. are you wantin her to be your gf or somethin? or just a hookup and not a friend?

ya know what screw it hah go for it you only live once. take her out for ice cream and somethin semi romantic and flirt a little, get touchy feely. if shes shy, shes gonna rely on you to instigate EVERYTHING. i know plenty of girls like this, they read things on you being flirty.

you said you have probs closing the deal, just go for it. WORST CASE SCENARIO = awkward moment where she doesnt want to kiss, and you just stay in the friends zone, or dont talk to her anymore and move onto other chicks.

its a cycle man, you will never know until you try. so grow some balls and just go for it.

 

Well I don't want her to be a hookup, I really am impressed with the manners/politness and her being down to earth. You don't see that very much anymore, so eventually I wouldn't mind having her as a g/f. Problem is im shy as fuck too, and since I haven't made any moves since I've been 14, I'm not sure how flirty I can get. I may ask her to get ice cream or something later this week, ill see how saturday night goes if she shows up.

 

:friendladder:

she called you "nice" instead of agreeing that you're "hot." game set match.

 

Well she's not one of those foreward type of girls, very reserved, she probably wouldnt feel comfortable saying that even if she thought it.

 

seems like you think about her too much for how much you know her... don't try to read her mind... just get to know her and if you think she's your type, go push it... it doesn't matter too much how she feels towards you at this point.. heck, she found you on the facebook before you did, at least she's not completely blocking the door off on you

yea, ask her for lunch or coffee/ice cream or something before she goes back home before finals or right after finals.. if she says yes, then go ahead and have a short time with her, don't push things too far, just stay in friend zone for now.. and when the summer hits, you give her a call to find out what her plan is during the summer. if you can get an idea when she's not busy and stuff, you pretend like you already have a plan to go visit your uncle and then ask her if she wants to meet up for lunch/dinner or whatever when you are down there. i'm sure she'll say ok. also since it's break, no stress from school or anything. at this point, your call.. you can push it little further than just friend zone.. go watch movie with her or something or you can just stay in friend zone...

remember, you don't need to fake yourself to impress her.. if who you are cannot impress her, then GG

anyways, good luck

 

friend ladder.

 

What gives you the impression I am acting fake to impress her? Maybe I'll give her a call for lunch and see what she says.

 

I'm just trying to figure out if it is friendship level already then why she would walk to the party and back with just me while our friends were behind, where we could have all just walked in a group. Also why would she facebook message me after formal 2 days later not only saying she had a fun time, but also mentioning things that we experienced that weekend and saying that hopefully she'll see me next year. She also came over and offered her number to me. Not to mention I've seen her on 3 going out occasions in the past few weeks, where she has another group of friends she hangs out with, and I'm not the one inviting her to come.


But at the same time, she hasn't shown any flirty signals, and when my friend mentioned a date with me there, she spoke for me and said (talking about me, not her) that im not dating and just chilling and we are friends...so it throws me off a little. Either she said that to not make the scene awkward like yea we should definitely go out...or she means it. I guess the only way to find out, is to ask her to hang out 1 on 1.

 

i didn't say YOU were acting fake to impress her.. i'm just pointing it out as that is a common mistake to people including myself in the past

 

this kind of analysis will never stop until you ask her out and find out the result for yourself... just take your time and slowly make your move.. i hope you have a good result in the end...

 

thanks!

 

Ice cream?

 

Not necessarily...my fiancee said very much the same thing on her blog (that she didn't know I knew about), when comparing me with another guy that she was kind of dating at the time.

The key in my situation, though, was that we weren't close friends or anything at that point. You have to put the moves on before that happens or else you will be stuck on the friends ladder.

Being called "nice" isn't the death knell to a possible relationship. The death knell to a possible relationship is actually being called upon for advice and stuff on a regular basis. Which I did come perilously close to...

 

Well she IMed me on AIM randomly last night, since I dont have her screen name, and she must have taken mine off of facebook, so theres definitely got to be some interest, im going to take her to lunch before we go home, and probably end up making a move in the beginning of fall semester so i dont get stuck in the friend zone.

 

It doesn't have to be a party or something where you get drunk...just make it more of an activity than a pressure-filled time where you only basically talk. Even tame things like bowling or miniature golf will work.

 

Make a move before the beginning of fall semester?! :theghey:

Ram your tongue down her throat the next time you see her. Give her something to think about over the summer.

 

Dude same thing happened to me i met some girl she got my sn thru facebook immed me all the damn time. So i took her out to get ice cream and dinner once and it never worked out. Im sorry to say but if you dont move fast enough your gonna be on the friends latter forever. O and if you wait till fall semester you may be screwed does this girl live near you? Your gonna have to keep her interested in you all summer then.

 

Looks like she is interested in you. Ask her out already man!

 

am I the only one waiting for cliff notes?

 

Amoeba is too pussy to make a move with a girl he likes. He is doomed to the "friend zone."

 

well unlike you, he doesn't like to experiment with men.

 

The fuck does that have to do with anything?

 

Amoeba is this the dark-haired girl that you posted a picture of in that other thread??

 

Oh and ask her the fuck out already

 

yup same girl.

 

1) Find the nearest wooden butcher's block ASAP. Size doesn't matter because it doesn't sound like we are working with much here anyway.

2) Find a freshly sharpened butcher's knife

3) Lay cock and balls and said butcher's block

4) With one swift motion whack off cock and balls

5) dispose of waste in the nearest trash recepticle.

 

I'd have no problem asking her out if this was beginning of the year, but its the last week before a 3 1/2 month summer...so the timing is bad.

 

Use the summer break to your advantage Amoeba. Try and hook up and get to know her before summer break. She's probably been studying so much lately that she's dying to go out and do something fun and different.

This is where you come in. Invite her to do something with just the two of you so you guys can get to know each other better. This will get the pressure of all your slobbering friends away so she can see what you are like alone. Like someone else said, you need to leave her wanting something when she gets back in the fall -- Make a good impression, but don't make any crazy promises.

Who knows if either one of you will find someone else over the summer, but you might come back in the fall and both be single, then things will have a chance to work out. From what you are saying, it seems pretty damn obvious to me that she likes you. Shy girls don't give that much attention to guys they don't like. Only attention whores do shit like that, and from what you describe she doesn't sound like that.

You aren't a bad guy Amoeba, but your making this shit harder than it really is. Good luck.

 

Thanks for the advice, and not saying im a bad guy even though we have never met lol.

 

 

alright i only got one life and nothing to lose, im goign to call her tomorrow and ask her to go to lunch.

 

damn about time yo

best of luck just go for it who cares if it doesnt work out, plenty more hot hookers out there

 

icecream is cool. Virgin.

 

didnt read the first post and im not really going to. I get the jist of it from reading everyone else's posts. He must not have very many friends in real life to talk to if he most post every dating detail of his life in here

 

^ dont be a dick

 

You have only been single for three weeks after a 4+ year relationship? Don't use a nice girl as a rebound. Learn to be single and all of your future relationships will be better.