So I got to thinking. I use to think it was a "standard rule" that the Guy ask the parents permission before asking the daughter to marry him. My sisters husband (by brother in-law) actually didnt ask my dad first. I've always believed asking first is the right thing to do....(although my GF dad and I really dont talk much...I dont think he likes me very much, but I have a great relationship with the mother.

Soo Just wonder what you all thought. Is asking the parents permission first just old fashioned, or is it still the right thing to do?

LADIES: Since the guys usaully ask...I'd like to know what your thoughts on the situation are? Do you expect your man to ask first? Do you think its right for him to ask first? What do all the ladies think about this topic?

 

I thought about doing it but decided against it. I figured the father in law would ruin the surprise.

But I also knew for certain they would have no problem with the marriage so.........

 

Most likely ask permission first or rather a blessing

 

:ibtheysayno:

 

I think I would ask first.


I'm pretty sure they would say 'GTFO'.

 

Proper etiquette says speak to the Father and Mother and ask for their blessing. It's old fashioned, but I know the parents would REALLY appreciate the gesture.

 

I didn't, because I'm a wuss.

 

This is our custom back home (Philippines), so it would mean a lot to me if the guy will ask my parents for their blessings...

You won't lose anything if you ask your girl's parents. Believe me, they will be touched by your gesture of respect and for acknowledging them as part of your family.

 

My soon-to-be parents-in-law and I don't have a relationship that is that formal. We're all pretty laid back, and the topic had come up a few times before in conversation. So I knew how they felt.

 

I have been thinking about this also, although it may be polite to ask, it's not the 1950's anymore and it's is your girlfriend's decision, not the parents.

 

i say do it...

i really think it would impress her family that you care not only about her feelings but theirs as well. i also think that the respect factor and you taking their feelings into consideration makes good karma. gotta do a little ass kissing every once in a while just to keep the lady and her fam happy!

 

Not asking permission to marry. You're getting married regardless of their answer. You're just asking them to approve of the fact that you're going to marry.

 

I asked for "permission", only because I knew it was something that my future father inlaw would really appreciate (hes an old fashioned kinda guy). So for me it would depend on the parents in question.

It was actualy really akward for me to do it, but I'm glad I did (and i'm glad i never have to do it again )

 

I asked Ami's parents, and they definately said yes (and so did Ami). We ended up splitting up and not getting married after all.

 

Was it because you didn't like the way she spelled her name?

 

Actually, I liked her name. It's techically Amileigh (pronounced AH-MEH-LEE), but she went by Ami (pronounced AY-MEE like Amy).

 

People who are too good for the letter Y :shakehead

 

I plan to

 

Yes, absolutely

 

I called my fiance's mom in the Phillipines to ask for her permissions/blessing (father is not in the picture). Not the easiest thing to do, considering I have never met her mom - only spoke with her on the phone, but it wasn't too bad.

I also had to ask her grandmother, but I have met her several times and she likes me.

I think I would have been in trouble if I hadn't talked to them.

 

i think asking permission is a good thing. you get a lot of points with the parents for sure.

i would like my bf to ask my parents' permission...but then again i have parents who might actually say no.

i would first like it to be discussed between us alone and then have him go and ask my parents.

that's what my parents did. they wanted to get married and discussed things and then my dad went and asked my mom's dad. but then again the custom in Iran is to go ask. the guy's family goes to the girl's family and asks to have their daughter's hand in marriage.

 

asked

 

Scott called my dad and asked him. I hear my dad told him "I love you man". I think he may be disappointed that marrying Scott didn't get me out of the house.

 

I will be asking my girl's father for his blessing when the time comes. I'll be sweating bullets, but I know he'll say yes right away.

 

I always base my decisions on the worst (and best) that can happen in each instance. The worst that can happen would be they would say no...then you have to decide if you care. The best that could happen is they respect you bit more, and I would bet a lot of young ladies would think was a "sweet" gesture.

I might put a spin on it, if you did ask permission or for their blessing, is it tacky to do it over the phone, if they were to live where you only see them a few times a year?

 

It's a respect thing. It'll give you mucho points in the father in laws eyes, it's a must!


Master, I had no choice but to do it over the phone, so i'd say it's okay if it's real hard to get face to face.

 

Well, it's hard in the fact that if we go to her parent's house (like 80 miles away), she's obviously with me. But I have their phone number...

 

if you are that close, i'd call the dad up and ask him to lunch


I had always planned to fly out to VA to ask cali's dad. But I decided to ask her and didn't have time for the trip. Still wish I had done it in person though

 

I think I would cry if the guy didn't ask for my dad's blessing.

 

My brother in law asked my dad before their engagement.

 

Ask first, it's a classy way to go unless you don't give a sh$t.

 

Toss up on the asking part. There was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where his brother asks his gf's family and they say no. It's hilarious.

 

I kinda always thought of taking the parents out to a nice dinner and talking with & asking them then.

 

I guess it is polite to ask for permissions. Since it is a big part in their life. I sure plan on asking in person when the time come...(gee .. my GF parents are 6000 miles away...)

 

i plan to

 

What is this, Jeopardy? Why are the poll options in the form of questions?


I asked the Dirtystress' dad in a real rush job while she was waiting in the car for me to drive up to Maine. I ran into her house to "use the pisser" after we had loaded the car and the guy was on the phone. So I basically waved and got his attention, he held the receiver and said "yeah" and I said I was going to propose to her that weekend, with his blessing of course and he just smiled and looked confused but shook my hand and off we went.

 

Didn't ask. Met my soon-to-be-wife's parents a couple months after we started dating, they have had a record of drilling guys who she has brought to meet them. They asked me whether I have a job and whether I own a house. After answering "yes" to both questions, that was the end of the "interview" by her parents. With those two questions as the deciding factor on whether I'd be good for their daughter, it wasn't worth it to me to ask for their blessing.

 

I am very traditional, so I would much rather the man ask my parent's blessing before proposing to me. It shows that he respects them enough to ask to take my hand before we get engaged.

 

i asked my wife's parents for their approval and blessing before i proposed...it's the right thing to do.

 

it really depends on the situation. but in general, if two people want to get married, why the hell does he need to ask the dad first. get some balls and ask the girl. it's not like the old days where the girl really had no choice. we're independent now, and even if we are daddy's girls, we have minds of our own and don't need our fathers to make decisions for us.