.. Gotten back with an ex and ended up restarting your relationship successfully? I'm curious if there's any exceptions to the quote "they're ex's for a reason, don't ever bother with them again".

 

I know a guy who did and is getting engaged this weekend and says he dont regret it. i think it all depends on how u broke up and how u got back together

 

I know a few couples that did. Some regret it, one is married.

I would consider it with one of my ex's, but it would not be easy.

You have to consider if it's worth it.

 

Yeah I did it once. I think she broke up with me first because I was moving too fast too soon, etc. So once I stopped caring she tried to get back with me and I didn't have anything else going on so I figured what the hell, why not. Needless to say I was very distant and very non-committal for a few months, but eventually it got back to normal.

 

In the process of it.

Together for 2 years during high school, broke up. Spent the next three years through college seeing other people, but also dating each other. Got back together seriously for another two years, then ended up breaking up again.

Didn't speak for about 2 years, got back in touch 1.5 years ago and we've been together almost a year now.

There's good and bad. It's like any relationship, there's too many variables to give you a simple answer.

If it feels right, go for it. People change. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. It all depends on where you both are at right now.

The one piece of advice ... if either of you is holding on to any guilt / anger from the prior time you were together, that will be a BIG problem.

 

Tried...and we ended up breaking up for the same reasons. Getting back together with an Ex is honestly a futile exercise IMO.

 

That's what I've been thinking, but obviously there's exceptions to this thanks to some of the answers here.

I've tried to at least re-establish a friendship with my ex myself; however that always ends up sour because she always seems to bring up some shit from our past and we end up not talking for another year or so right after. At this point, it's pretty ridiculous.

 

I tried, we ended up fighting just as much and things went nowhere and people get hurt. Most of the time, you're better off moving on.

 

<-- Got back with ex and been married 10 years.

 

My wife and I dated for 3 months and then I broke up with her because I didn't feel she was as committed to the relationship as I was. Turned out I was right. She still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend (they dated for 2 years before I met her) and she decided to get back with him. After dating him for a 3 months, she decided he was wrong for her and she ended it. About 3 months later, she contacted me again, I decided to hang out with again as friends. After about a month of being friends, we decided to give it another shot. We dated for 2 more years and got married this summer. I couldn't ask for a better woman =)

 

So... Have you murdered her ex by now? lol.

 

Same here.

 

It depends how long and how close the relationship is. If I got with someone just because I wanted to bone them on a regular basis, then once its over its for good. Maybe a booty call once in a while or something.

If you really love someone/been in a long term relationship but break up with them, your feelings may be gone but there will be a trace of interest even if you haven't seen them in a long time.

I know a few people who've gotten back together after months of not seeing each other. If you both have found rebounds after the breakup the odds are against you though... I'm surprised there are a few people on here who married their ex

 

i think it really depends on the original circumstances. Sometimes people are at diff. stages in their lives, and having a working relationship is very tuff. However, after some time passes things may calm down and people end up being on the same level , and thus can have a working relationship.

However i do believe if a couple sincerely believes they want to be together (married etc) they will stick it out regardless. Thats the point.

 

I have done it a couple of times and trust me if some one is your "ex" they are so for a reason. If the break up is due to a sudden indifference then things can work out in the long run if both parties talk it through but if the difference is between personalities then regardless of how much you tell yourself that the other person will change, it just wont happen .

 

Hehe, actually, I've met the guy and we hung out as a group together. Not a threat at all. Plus, my wife has spoken of his shortcomings on several occasions.

 

See my last post. Don't bother. If she can't get over the past, it's a waste of time. Sorry.

 

Broke up do to the long distance, we still remained close friends. 2 years later, we're back together. We would see each other between that time, and get a little close, then leave. Now we're back together since she moved closer to me for her job.


Guess it does depend on the situation and how you two broke up, and if you still think about your ex a lot. I thought about her all the time, turns out she thought about me all the time too. We had a civil breakup, more of a "we're far apart, so let's see what happens when we're near each other" thing. I love her, took me about a year and a half to say it. Then we broke up, and now we're back together.

How do really feel about her? Can you get over the reason(s) you broke up in the first place? Aside from the comfort of knowing her already in many ways, do you think it can work?

Sounds like you should just leave it alone if it she's still bringing up things from the past. Let it go.

 

Depends on situation I tried getting back with my psycho ex numerous times, mostly for some But everytime she said she changed, um yeah she never did, went right back to the same bs everytime

 

Real talk: Yeah, I hooked up with my ex. For one day. The day we got divorced, she walked out of the courtroom ahead of me. I got my things together, and was about to say "Hello world!", when I got out of the courtroom. I walk out the door, go around the corner, and who is standing there wanting to go for a "post-marital ride" - the ex! We always did "fucking" get along. My kind of girl in that department. Fucking kept us together for 8 years. Her not being able to balance a checkbook got us divorced in 3! Oh yeah, did I mention that I later found out after we separated, from a mutual friend, that she slept with a steak-knife under her side of the mattress?? Nah, no reunion here man! If the bitch cuts ya the first time, it's her fault. The second time...it's yours!

 

I've heard plenty of stories with this situation hapenning some of which are even successful. I personally feel timing is everything

 

Hahaha, coulda fooled me!

And it wasn't once....it was twice!

 

after about 2 years of marriage, wifey wanted out, so she left. Then, every once in a while, she would call and say hi, find out how I was doing. Next thing, we are going out. We got back together after 8 months apart (NB: I should have fucked my brains out when I was separated). The marriage ended afte 16.5 years. She alway had her ups and downs. One minute happy, one minute sad.

well, after we split, I worked my ass off to recoup what she took. Now, 7 years later, I am sitting pretty. Her, not so pretty.

when she walked the last time, I was still trying to talk her into staying. Now, I look back and could I would not want to be in a one way relationship EVER!!! Sex is fun (it never was in my married life). And the money is mine to enjoy. I answer to noone when I want to buy something for myself.

 

^^ Props. It's nice to be selfish once in a while.

And for the record, I stopped trying with my ex a longgg time ago. I didn't want a relationship when we talked, I only wanted to restart a friendship with her. It'd be all fine and dandy for a few days then all of a sudden she'll blow up on something small and try to make me mad, but I've grown numb to those kinds of attacks, so I just shrugged it off and we just don't talk for a good amount of time. She tries to message me every few months, but after the last two altercations with her, I don't even care anymore, even though I would like to. I can keep telling myself that she'll change all I want; but reality says different. I got over it all; she didn't.

Doin' pretty good for myself as well. I'm in a good school surrounded by some of the smartest people in Utah. I don't even know what the hell she's doing, probably trying to mend her second "make-up, break-up" relationship again.

 

my folks broke up a couple times and got back together in their late teens/early 20's but eventually got married by age 25...it's now 36 years later, and they're still going strong

with me, otoh, my last ex is STILL trying to communicate with me after i busted her cheating 1.5 years ago...my absense from responding in any capacity is an ongoing mental fuk which i hope is driving her crazy...we tried in the beginning to do the friends with benefits thing, but that lasted about a week, and it was just not healthy for either of us, so we broke clean, and it was the best thing that could've happened to me...the last update i heard was the marine she cheated on me with broke it off with her, and she was with a couple other guys, thus reinforcing me to steer clear of this train wreck as far as possible

even if i was single, the baggage that she carries is so monumental, no quantity or quality of sex could ever even remotely come close to being in the vicinity of being justified enough to get back together

fact is God has made it blatently obvious that this is not meant to be

 

I was with my GF for 5 years, I was working full time and going to college full time, and she wanted to "take things to the next level" so she moved in with me. Bad idea, 3 months later we broke up. I dated a bit, and 6 months after breaking up I had graduated and was making double what I was before. One day I was feeling lonely so I sent her an e-mail. We talked about a lot of things and decided to get back together. Two years later, things are still better than they were before we broke up.

I guess what I am trying to say is the breaking up was a good thing for us because it got us talking about problems and how to fix them, something we were not doing very well before. If you think the reasons you broke up are easy to fix, then go for it. If you broke up because the bitch is nuts, chances are she is still nuts, and you need to take a pass.