Hi. Long time reader, first time poster.

I found this in a fitness forum.

A guy, 22, wants to have sex with a girl who's 16. I'm the dad of a 1 year old daughter. I am worried about her enough as it is, but I cant think of how much I'd worry about this if this was my daughter. I'm angry about this guy doing this, am I right to be angry? What would you do if your daughter was in this situation?

(to make things equal, you can read the 22 year old guys side on his blog, http://www.becomingapua.com/2007/09/...a-16-year-old/ )

 

It's just wrong - I don't even need to read his side of the story.




Oh, and welcome to the forum

 

The age of consent in many states is 16.

If she was 18 and he was 24 would you also have a problem?

 

He takes advantage of her innocence and it is not OK.

 

lol woops, i didnt read your post before i voted. i thought it was askin if it was okai so i voted no. haha i meant to vote yes

 

my GF and i are 6 yrs apart... shes turning 20 this month. Am I a sick fuck... I don't think so, although this guy is just talking about sex and not a meaningful relationship. I do have to agree with him partially though, girls these days just want to try and act older and older... as a society we let them and then get mad when someone pushes the norms a little bit. It's not illegal for him (he said he was in Canada I think... figures) and from what he made it sound like it would be consentual so he should be able to... however I personally think he has bigger issues than thinking a 16 yr old is "fuckable". If you really think about it... a 16 yr old physically is probably in the best shape of her life... physically mature, probably at least semi active and hasn't been tainted by the freshman 15, 3am drunken Taco Bell runs 3 nights a week or hooking up with a different guy every weekend and contracting an STD.

This shit is probably made up anyway... anyone who brags about picking up girls at a mall in an online forum probably has no game at all and is trying to compensate for his shortcomings in the real world.

edit: Sorry I almost forgot...

I voted no because I believe that this has a lot to do with parenting. Raise your daughter right, teach her what you believe is morally acceptable and I think you should feel at ease that if this happened to her in 15 years, she'd be able to tell the guy to get lost. Just because it happens to others doesn't mean your kid will act the same way.

 

Grass on the field; play ball.

 

Never really thought out my full "policy" on what I personally feel is OK but I'll give it a shot:

17 and over - guy of any age
16 year old - any guy 23 and under (a "college aged" guy)
15 year old - any guy 19 and under (still "high school" age)
14 year old - any guy 17 and under (close in age)
13 year old - don't condone it with anyone, but would not consider it "wrong" if it was a guy within a year of her age


That's where my moral compass lies...I'd assume others have different opinions which is fine. Obviously, these are all only "OK" if it was consensual and there was no coersion or undue pressure. Same opinions apply for older girl with guy as well. I would also add that I do not condone violating any laws if they differ from my personal opinions.

 

22 year old guy - graduated college
16 year old girl - still in high school
yes, that is wrong.

 

Sounds about right...

 

I think if he is taking advantage of her, then it is definately wrong. But with Steve. Would we be arguing here is she were 18 and he was 24?

 

Meh, as long as everyone is into it and happy its all good. There are worse problems in the world.

 

 

the majority of countries, except the US, 16 is OK. I think as long as they are mature enough to handle consequences, then go for it.

 

I suprised no one asked for pics of the 16 year old.

 

Yea I am pretty on par with that.

Mike

 

I don't think its the age difference thats the problem. Its more the fact that one of the kids is 16. So I don't see what value your question has.

Im 26 and my girlfriend is 21, does that bother me?....NO
would I have dated her when she was 16 and was 21?...NO

We did start dating when she was 20 FWIW

 

There's always a multitude variables specific to individual cases and relationships but something about a 22-yo (age of a college senior or recently graduated) dating a high school sophomore bugs me. But then again 90% of what's on TV bugs me. So perhaps I'm making that slow, gradual transition from idealistic naivete to bitter, conservative old man.

Of course, I understand the concept of true love and romance and soulmate and all that BS but none of that obviously applies to this case (having read the link). And yes, I know that there are many 25-yo out there who have the maturity and life experiences of a 15-yo and vice versa, but I have to ask myself this, "How would I really feel if I was in his position? Would I stoop low to bang a 16-yo if the opportunity presented itself?" All "Virgin Surgeon" and "Teeny Bopper Club" DVDs aside, of course not. I wouldn't even think twice. But that's just me ... to each his or her own, I guess.

The dude seems to be a mall-scouring douchebag and the gal seems to be a dim-witted, gum-snapping slut-in-training. In days long past, I worked retail a couple summers and saw this dynamic happen time and time again ... young, dumb broads who wanted to act "older"/"sexy" and older dumb dudes who were still in the high-school-hero mindset and more than willing to play the laughable role of "rico sauve."

I guess we can't cure stupid so what's the point? If they want to have sex to boost their self-esteem or sense of self-worth, who cares? Hopefully they won't breed and produce future generations of stupidity.

 

Well said!

 

that might be the "norm" for a 22 yr old but not always the case. You can look at it that way but you also have to look at it that just because someone is 22.. they aren't out of college, trying to make it in the world of business and jobs and all that. A lot of 22 yr olds still are trying to figure out what they want to do in life which a lot of the time is the appeal of a younger girl, she is at that same stage in life. I would know, i was that 22 yr old who didn't have a clue and a younger girl who was at that same stage of her life... but then again, he wasn't talking about anything meaningful... just banging her.

 

To the original question -- are you right to be angry?

My .

It's not worth your time to actually get angry about some person on the internet talking about banging some other person on the internet who may or may not even exist, and neither of whom you know. If you're going to be angry about something, it should be something that matters to you.

 

what about a 20 y/o dating a 16 year old??

 

The only "wrong" part about it is that a 22 year old has experience under his belt and can get her to give it up rather quickly, hit it and quit it. It would probably take an inexperienced 16 year old longer to get the prize.

Oh and as far as having a 1 year old daughter. You can not expect to successfully do anything to keep her a virgin at 16. If she is dating she will lose it.

 

Does this situation directly effect you or anyone your know? Why are you stressing over it?

 

It's immoral, my little sister is 16 who I helped raise since birth, and I would cringe if she dated a guy even close to that age, especially if they could legally buy alchohol and take advantage of her that much easier. I just hope my sis doesn't try dating any guys like that or

 

Raise your daughter not to fall for cheesy pick up lines like this guy used and you'll be ok.

 

all I know is... I don't think I ever want to have a daughter

 

Yep.

Unless she is fat and/or ugly, there's about a 3.4% chance that she will reach adulthood a virgin...and about a 5.7% chance that there won't be pics of her gunch floating out somewhere in cyberspace.