I already know what's coming here: make sure the keyfob remote code frequency is correct (E4EG8D-444H-A), open the door, get in, close the door, turn the key to "On," press the "lock" button on the remote, back to "off," repeat 4×, waiting no longer than four seconds for each step. The door locks should cycle and you should be able to program the remote like this.

What if you've done all that so many times within the period of a week, with two different remotes that still won't program, to the point where you're fresh out of ideas?

I keep turning the key, the door locks won't cycle. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, but everyone has sent programming instructions like 500 times. Something still isn't right here. I'm about ready to just throw the whole car away at this point smh

...this IS the right remote, right? (Yes, I know, it's the right one)

 

^
When you are performing the program procedure are you pointing the fob at the glove box, throughout, where the keyless receiver unit lives?

 

Yes, I've tried towards the wheel and all, this is the second remote I've tried... Let's try it again, and see if towards the glovebox helps any one of the remotes.

 

Tried that just now like four times. Nothing.