I found out that I can see the whole companies IT requests...
09-23-2010 | 11:59 AM
#81
Needs more Lemon Pledge
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 52,768
Likes: 2,000
From: Phoenix, AZ
Because of our proprietary report generating software we have a proprietary PDF generator and it is a HUGE POS. A 500KB WORD file with 3 pictures often becomes 5MB after you run it through the PDF generator but you can't use Adobe PDF because it will cause the report generating software to freeze up and stop processing reports.
Primo FTW!
09-23-2010 | 12:17 PM
#82
Yeah. Nothing other than the proprietary PDF generator can be used.
Some of our proprietary stuff works great 99% of the time but a few of of applications are really really awful.
One of our report generating programs likes to format picture captions randomly. Example: A caption has 30 characters, the program doesn't like that so it moves that one picture to it's own page when the report is generated. IT's solution? Just remove a few of the characters from the caption, duh.
Some of our proprietary stuff works great 99% of the time but a few of of applications are really really awful.
One of our report generating programs likes to format picture captions randomly. Example: A caption has 30 characters, the program doesn't like that so it moves that one picture to it's own page when the report is generated. IT's solution? Just remove a few of the characters from the caption, duh.
09-23-2010 | 12:21 PM
#84
Moderator
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 63,321
Likes: 2,813
From: Not Las Vegas (SF Bay Area)
If I ever have to work in a building that tall, I'm putting a base jumping parachute in my desk, and not telling anyone. Well except maybe a hottie to share it with. 
Last edited by Mizouse; 09-23-2010 at 12:24 PM.
09-23-2010 | 02:35 PM
#85
Moderator
Regional Coordinator (Southeast)
Regional Coordinator (Southeast)
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 43,655
Likes: 3,885
From: Mooresville, NC
09-24-2010 | 07:29 AM
#90
All About Trance
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,561
Likes: 124
From: Atlanta
I remember one incident where we had implemented an email quota on our mail server. So, I had to go around to everyone's machines to set Outlook to "Empty Deleted Items Upon Exit". Well, I get a call the next day from a lady.
Her: I've lost my archive files.
Me: Hang on, let me swing by to look at your computer.
(I check her computer for .pst files and couldn't find them anywhere.)
Me: Where did you put your folders?
Her: In my Deleted Items folder.
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuu
Her: I've lost my archive files.
Me: Hang on, let me swing by to look at your computer.
(I check her computer for .pst files and couldn't find them anywhere.)
Me: Where did you put your folders?
Her: In my Deleted Items folder.
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuu
09-24-2010 | 07:45 AM
#91
Moderator
Regional Coordinator (Southeast)
Regional Coordinator (Southeast)
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 43,655
Likes: 3,885
From: Mooresville, NC
I remember one incident where we had implemented an email quota on our mail server. So, I had to go around to everyone's machines to set Outlook to "Empty Deleted Items Upon Exit". Well, I get a call the next day from a lady.
Her: I've lost my archive files.
Me: Hang on, let me swing by to look at your computer.
(I check her computer for .pst files and couldn't find them anywhere.)
Me: Where did you put your folders?
Her: In my Deleted Items folder.
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuu
Her: I've lost my archive files.
Me: Hang on, let me swing by to look at your computer.
(I check her computer for .pst files and couldn't find them anywhere.)
Me: Where did you put your folders?
Her: In my Deleted Items folder.
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuu
09-24-2010 | 09:34 AM
#92
All About Trance
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 4,561
Likes: 124
From: Atlanta
^ Nope. Every time I throw in some words that's computer related, she always tell me I'm speaking Greek.
I could've alluded to her putting her lunch in the trash and expecting it to be there the next day, but she probably wouldn't understand sarcasm.
I could've alluded to her putting her lunch in the trash and expecting it to be there the next day, but she probably wouldn't understand sarcasm.
09-24-2010 | 09:39 AM
#93
I remember one incident where we had implemented an email quota on our mail server. So, I had to go around to everyone's machines to set Outlook to "Empty Deleted Items Upon Exit". Well, I get a call the next day from a lady.
Her: I've lost my archive files.
Me: Hang on, let me swing by to look at your computer.
(I check her computer for .pst files and couldn't find them anywhere.)
Me: Where did you put your folders?
Her: In my Deleted Items folder.
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuu
Her: I've lost my archive files.
Me: Hang on, let me swing by to look at your computer.
(I check her computer for .pst files and couldn't find them anywhere.)
Me: Where did you put your folders?
Her: In my Deleted Items folder.
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuu
09-24-2010 | 09:40 AM
#94
Team Owner
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 23,451
Likes: 54
^well in this economy, you'll do whatever it takes to keep a job.
Sometimes, I'll walk the floors late at night and unplug a couple of ethernet cables from users PC. Next day, I'll get a ticket about a PC unable to log into domain, BAM!!! easy ticket, I meet my quote of the day, then out the door.
Some users are assholes, but thats the way of the game. Hell, everytime I call one of comcast helpdesk Reps, it's like world war III.
Sometimes, I'll walk the floors late at night and unplug a couple of ethernet cables from users PC. Next day, I'll get a ticket about a PC unable to log into domain, BAM!!! easy ticket, I meet my quote of the day, then out the door.
Some users are assholes, but thats the way of the game. Hell, everytime I call one of comcast helpdesk Reps, it's like world war III.
09-24-2010 | 09:57 AM
#97
Go Giants
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,918
Likes: 1,236
From: PA
Exchange Engineer....
09-24-2010 | 04:33 PM
#106
Advanced
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 50
Likes: 1
09-24-2010 | 04:41 PM
#107
Go Giants
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,918
Likes: 1,236
From: PA
09-24-2010 | 04:56 PM
#108
Race Director
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,693
Likes: 969
From: Long Island, NY
I deal with so much shit, going postal seems like a good option some days,
Most of the time, the first thing they blame is the storage. While 99% of the time it is a DFUE or just a DFU or Oracle which amounts to the same thing.
Most of the time, the first thing they blame is the storage. While 99% of the time it is a DFUE or just a DFU or Oracle which amounts to the same thing.
09-24-2010 | 05:20 PM
#109
Race Director
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 10,693
Likes: 969
From: Long Island, NY
Oh and I also put in pretty much all the orders for our companies R&D, as we have all the budget.
The requests are hilarious.
I had one user tell me to my face that they needed 100TB of SAN storage (around $400,000) not to mention the floor space or the power usage.
And when I asked what they were going to use it for,
we have a few vm's.
How many?
20.
Uh, No.
They ended up using 3TB and they still have 1.5 left over.
The requests are hilarious.
I had one user tell me to my face that they needed 100TB of SAN storage (around $400,000) not to mention the floor space or the power usage.
And when I asked what they were going to use it for,
we have a few vm's.
How many?
20.
Uh, No.
They ended up using 3TB and they still have 1.5 left over.
09-24-2010 | 07:06 PM
#110
Needs more Lemon Pledge
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 52,768
Likes: 2,000
From: Phoenix, AZ
09-24-2010 | 08:49 PM
#111
07TL-CBP
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 617
Likes: 5
From: Maryland
Two former bosses at same company:
One did not believe in closing programs. At any given moment, he usually has no less than 50 open email windows and 20 instances of Windows Explorer... many open Word and pdf files. Of course, he never shut down his computer - so program instances kept piling up until things start to break.... Oh, and he never never never started new emails - he always used 'reply' to a previous unrelated email to start a new one.
The other one was the 'Terminator.' Why uninstall when I could simply delete? Icons, program files, Windows files... nothing was safe on his computer. Every other month, I get the "how do I get a new copy of ???.dll back in my windows directory?"
One did not believe in closing programs. At any given moment, he usually has no less than 50 open email windows and 20 instances of Windows Explorer... many open Word and pdf files. Of course, he never shut down his computer - so program instances kept piling up until things start to break.... Oh, and he never never never started new emails - he always used 'reply' to a previous unrelated email to start a new one.
The other one was the 'Terminator.' Why uninstall when I could simply delete? Icons, program files, Windows files... nothing was safe on his computer. Every other month, I get the "how do I get a new copy of ???.dll back in my windows directory?"
09-24-2010 | 09:44 PM
#112
The receptionist called me to tell me she had a burnt out light bulb. I told her to call the building and they will come and replace it.
A few minutes later, I was walking by the front desk on my way to help another person and she was sitting in the dark. I said, "all these lights are burnt out?" She nods.
There are around 20 ceiling lights. No way these are all burnt out. wtf. I looked over at the wall and saw all the switches down, and was thinking no way is anybody that stupid....
The lights all worked fine.
She didn't talk to me for a couple days after that.
A few minutes later, I was walking by the front desk on my way to help another person and she was sitting in the dark. I said, "all these lights are burnt out?" She nods.
There are around 20 ceiling lights. No way these are all burnt out. wtf. I looked over at the wall and saw all the switches down, and was thinking no way is anybody that stupid....The lights all worked fine.
She didn't talk to me for a couple days after that.
09-24-2010 | 10:27 PM
#113
dumber than a box of hair
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 830
Likes: 0
From: Stoneham MA
It's a whole lot easier than you think. Take out a loan for something you could afford anyhow, like the money for a vacation (airplane tickets, rental car, hotel room). Pay it back on time, never miss a payment...voilá! Instant credit. That's how my wife and I got started, and it's never been a problem getting credit since then.
09-24-2010 | 10:45 PM
#114
dumber than a box of hair
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 830
Likes: 0
From: Stoneham MA
After doing IT support for the same company for almost 11 years, I have stories too, but you come to realize after that long that it's always the same people who have the same problems, time after time after time after time after time...
For example:
--The moron who doesn't understand the Exchange-generated message "your password will expire in (x) days, please change it now." He ignores all the messages (they start 14 days before expiration) and wonders why he suddenly can't log into Outlook.
--The dork who keeps claiming he signed up at our Exchange self-service intranet site (to change/unlock/reset his password), but who actually hasn't signed up...and when you show him (after resetting his password) that he hasn't signed up he still claims he signed up.
--The imbecile who thinks Windows computers will run indefinitely without rebooting, and keeps complaining that "my computer is slow." When you ask him when he last rebooted, he says "a few minutes ago." You go to his desk, reboot, and suddenly everything is running OK again. You look him straight in the eye with that "don't lie to me again" look, but it never sinks in.
--The idiot who keeps 55 windows open (yes, I actually counted them once) on a Windows PC with 2GB of RAM, and also complains that his PC is slow.
--The clueless one who, when you tell them how to open a shared calendar in Outlook, asks you "what program should I be in?"
--The twit from the business department who, with access to company financial data, leaves his PC running and logged in not only when he goes to lunch, but after hours and all weekend long, when cleaning crews are in the building. (That one was fired a few weeks ago.)
--The terminally careless ones who were issued laptops by the company, and who leave them in plain sight when they're out of the office. (I once hatched a plot, in collaboration with the controller, to do an after-hours walk-through and quietly confiscate all the laptops left in plain sight, and to let everyone panic for a few hours the next morning before teaching them all a lesson. Never did it, though.)
--Had a sales dog spill apple juice in his company-issued laptop. He came to me about a week later and said some of his keys were sticking, but would not admit it to me until I suspected what had happened and asked him a direct question. The company made him pay for the repairs.
For example:
--The moron who doesn't understand the Exchange-generated message "your password will expire in (x) days, please change it now." He ignores all the messages (they start 14 days before expiration) and wonders why he suddenly can't log into Outlook.
--The dork who keeps claiming he signed up at our Exchange self-service intranet site (to change/unlock/reset his password), but who actually hasn't signed up...and when you show him (after resetting his password) that he hasn't signed up he still claims he signed up.
--The imbecile who thinks Windows computers will run indefinitely without rebooting, and keeps complaining that "my computer is slow." When you ask him when he last rebooted, he says "a few minutes ago." You go to his desk, reboot, and suddenly everything is running OK again. You look him straight in the eye with that "don't lie to me again" look, but it never sinks in.
--The idiot who keeps 55 windows open (yes, I actually counted them once) on a Windows PC with 2GB of RAM, and also complains that his PC is slow.
--The clueless one who, when you tell them how to open a shared calendar in Outlook, asks you "what program should I be in?"
--The twit from the business department who, with access to company financial data, leaves his PC running and logged in not only when he goes to lunch, but after hours and all weekend long, when cleaning crews are in the building. (That one was fired a few weeks ago.)
--The terminally careless ones who were issued laptops by the company, and who leave them in plain sight when they're out of the office. (I once hatched a plot, in collaboration with the controller, to do an after-hours walk-through and quietly confiscate all the laptops left in plain sight, and to let everyone panic for a few hours the next morning before teaching them all a lesson. Never did it, though.)
--Had a sales dog spill apple juice in his company-issued laptop. He came to me about a week later and said some of his keys were sticking, but would not admit it to me until I suspected what had happened and asked him a direct question. The company made him pay for the repairs.
Last edited by SidS1045; 09-24-2010 at 10:48 PM.
09-25-2010 | 12:15 AM
#115
S E L L
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 12,767
Likes: 51
From: Modesto, CA
Damn that's a LOT of porn!!
09-25-2010 | 05:02 AM
#116
all work and no play
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 13,916
Likes: 134
From: Wakefield, Ma
I know this is a thread to vent, but I have had some really good users too.
I mention Mutual of Omaha before, but one of my best users worked for them. He would call, and the first words out of his mouth were; "I screwed it up again." He always had a good joke to tell, and was very polite and thankful that we got him back up and running.
Another user that worked for Guardian life would call and always wanted her tickets dispatched desk side immediately, she was also a VIP. She was always a bit rude. One day she called and had multiple problems. One was with Lotus Notes (good old red screen), and the other was with Excel pivot tables. This time she was in a big hurry and absolutely insisted that a deskside tech be sent immediately. I told her that I bet I could have her back up in running, plus answer her Excel questions in under 10 minutes, rather than the hour the deskside tech would take (counting the time it took him to get there.) She agreed, and it took 8 minutes. They don't call me the pivot master for nothing. About a month later I got a commendation from management. Turned out she was a senior VP, and sent in a very long and glowing letter. She also turned into one of my best customers, as she always asked for me afterward.
The last user has a very special place in my memory. She was the onsite support at an AON Insurance office. She worked for AON, not for my company. Being the onsite support for her office, she almost always called in multiple tickets at once, so our conversations were always much longer than normal. So those of us that spoke to her got to know her a lot more than other people. She was a single mom, with a toddler daughter, and a good person. The office she worked in was on the 100th floor of the World Trade Center, where she was, at her desk, on September 11, 2001. She did not make it out, along with a lot of her coworkers. That day sucked, but is sucked that much more where I worked.
I mention Mutual of Omaha before, but one of my best users worked for them. He would call, and the first words out of his mouth were; "I screwed it up again." He always had a good joke to tell, and was very polite and thankful that we got him back up and running.
Another user that worked for Guardian life would call and always wanted her tickets dispatched desk side immediately, she was also a VIP. She was always a bit rude. One day she called and had multiple problems. One was with Lotus Notes (good old red screen), and the other was with Excel pivot tables. This time she was in a big hurry and absolutely insisted that a deskside tech be sent immediately. I told her that I bet I could have her back up in running, plus answer her Excel questions in under 10 minutes, rather than the hour the deskside tech would take (counting the time it took him to get there.) She agreed, and it took 8 minutes. They don't call me the pivot master for nothing. About a month later I got a commendation from management. Turned out she was a senior VP, and sent in a very long and glowing letter. She also turned into one of my best customers, as she always asked for me afterward.
The last user has a very special place in my memory. She was the onsite support at an AON Insurance office. She worked for AON, not for my company. Being the onsite support for her office, she almost always called in multiple tickets at once, so our conversations were always much longer than normal. So those of us that spoke to her got to know her a lot more than other people. She was a single mom, with a toddler daughter, and a good person. The office she worked in was on the 100th floor of the World Trade Center, where she was, at her desk, on September 11, 2001. She did not make it out, along with a lot of her coworkers. That day sucked, but is sucked that much more where I worked.
09-25-2010 | 09:32 AM
#117
Senior Moderator
Regional Coordinator
(Mid-Atlantic)
Regional Coordinator
(Mid-Atlantic)
iTrader: (6)
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 92,262
Likes: 4,489
From: ShitsBurgh
The receptionist called me to tell me she had a burnt out light bulb. I told her to call the building and they will come and replace it.
A few minutes later, I was walking by the front desk on my way to help another person and she was sitting in the dark. I said, "all these lights are burnt out?" She nods. There are around 20 ceiling lights. No way these are all burnt out. wtf. I looked over at the wall and saw all the switches down, and was thinking no way is anybody that stupid....
The lights all worked fine.
She didn't talk to me for a couple days after that.
A few minutes later, I was walking by the front desk on my way to help another person and she was sitting in the dark. I said, "all these lights are burnt out?" She nods.
There are around 20 ceiling lights. No way these are all burnt out. wtf. I looked over at the wall and saw all the switches down, and was thinking no way is anybody that stupid....The lights all worked fine.
She didn't talk to me for a couple days after that.
09-25-2010 | 10:29 AM
#119
Big Block go VROOOM!
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,578
Likes: 1
From: Chicago Burbs
I once witnessed one of our Help Desk techs take the keyboard out of a user's laptop and subsequently be greeted by two of roaches that crawled out of the machine.
I hope for your sake you weren't using Exchange as your mail server. Otherwise you could have just set a mailbox manager policy to automatically purge deleted items older than X days. Would have saved a visit to all of the users' machines.
I hope for your sake you weren't using Exchange as your mail server. Otherwise you could have just set a mailbox manager policy to automatically purge deleted items older than X days. Would have saved a visit to all of the users' machines.
09-25-2010 | 11:27 AM
#120
Go Giants
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 69,918
Likes: 1,236
From: PA
I once witnessed one of our Help Desk techs take the keyboard out of a user's laptop and subsequently be greeted by two of roaches that crawled out of the machine.
I hope for your sake you weren't using Exchange as your mail server. Otherwise you could have just set a mailbox manager policy to automatically purge deleted items older than X days. Would have saved a visit to all of the users' machines.
I hope for your sake you weren't using Exchange as your mail server. Otherwise you could have just set a mailbox manager policy to automatically purge deleted items older than X days. Would have saved a visit to all of the users' machines.