Im curious to see if anyone had any bad 1st date stories haha

Heres mine:

Was talking to this cute looking chick over the myspace, she had a pretty face. got along well and we decided to meet in person. So we met at the mall, turned out shes fatter in person and she has acne breakouts happening, her pics must be photoshopped or sumthing online. She then tells me her pic was of her 3 years ago, im like thinking "WTF". This put a drag on the date, after 30 mins i pretended my phone rang and i had to go home. LOL lesson learned.

 

 

What's her myspace page? She sounds perfect.

 

That's easy. Was talking to this guy on Myspace for awhile. Turns out he was a 52-year old obsessed creep that liked to stalk girls at the mall. I told him I was only 16 and he said he would only stop messing with me if I brought a pic with me from when I was 13. So I waited until I had the measles and I met up with him at his "favorite" mall. I gave him the pic and he kept his word, I've never heard from him again, but just in case I rubbed his phone all over my face when he wasn't looking, so the prick probably got my measles.

 

I haven't had bad first dates but I've had bad hook-ups. Those are girls not worthy of dates but are sexable when no one is looking. Man some of those were ridiculous.

One girl for example gets lost in my neighborhood and asks me for help. She looked good when it was dark and I couldn't see below her neckline (she was in an SUV). Well my eyes played tricks on me and I get her number and set something up for later that week. We meet and she looks completely different than the image I had in my mind. I was upset but horny so I managed to get her in the back of her SUV within a few minutes. I was desperate to not be seen with her, but due to my young age (18), I was also desperate to get some dome action.

Oh man my game was not very strong that day but it worked and I coerced her into giving me head. I busted in her backseat and we used Starbucks napkins to clean up.

I later went home and deleted her number.

Man I have too many bad hookup stories.

Another time I was at a girl's house I never met. I was invited by one of my guy friends to hang out at this girl's condo. So it's me and two guy friends and two girls I've never met nor was really interested in. One was pretty cute though. I didn't really try and had it locked down after a couple of vodka drinks and a special on HBO's Real Sex on mechanical sex machines. It's safe to say that the girl I hooked up with was probably really horny.

Anyhow the action and subsequent horror story goes down like this:

We go in the kitchen and after laughing a bit she asks me to go makeout with her in her bedroom (aka she wanted to have sex). So we go into her bedroom and start going at it. I strap on a condom and I'm doing missionary and this girl is a boring lay so I'm not too happy about it. Anyhow, when I got close to busting I'm like screw this I want to bust on her stomach. So I take off the condom and because I was extra horny that night my load shot miraculously into my own eye. Yes I gave myself porno-style pink eye. And yes, it fucking stings. As I curse to myself and rub my eye in horror she wonders what's wrong and I completely play it off - "I have to go to the bathroom". I rinse my eye out but it's red as hell.

Now was time to get the hell out of there. I put my clothes on and head for the door. My friends had already left and it was late. She writes down her number and gives it to me. I maybe call her once more after that but that was the last time I saw her.

Am I proud of it? No, but the Internet is fairly anonymous and I can be honest here that I gave myself an accidental facial.

 

Dude, you're gay

 

Color me homo

 

Why don't you just take a seat right here....

 

WTF?

 

She got snagged on the edge of the bed and deflated.



Was seeing this girl for a couple weeks. Not too sure why anymore. She was a PITA. Anyways, we went to a nice dinner, and she was a bitch to the staff. Went to a movie after and she spilled soda all over me. Then she was pissed when I didn't want to go out to a club after.

 

amis, just wow....

 

amis, does that story explains the guy's eye-patch in your avatar?

 

Awesome amis

This is the one and only time i've ever gone "hoggin".

It was my lacrosse teammate's 21st birthday so we went out to the bar. 2 H.S. girls from Newport Beach are in town and visiting friends of mine. B-day boy takes a liking to the cuter, skinny, indian girl. I am "king of the wing" so i take a cantelope-sized grenade and pick up the indian chick's DUFF. This DUFF is getting so horny she pushes me on top of a pinball machine at the bar. She makes a valiant effort to follow me onto said pinball machine but is such a whale she's unable to lift herself up and instead scoots to the side and grabs my hand putting it down her pants. I get the clue so we head back to my boy's apartment. In a fit of shame, despite having clocked 2 pitchers of Natty Light single handedly, i take the DUFF onto the 2nd floor patio where i hide in the cover of darkness. Unbeknownst to me, several of my other lacrosse teammates have gathered outside beneath the patio and proceed to hurl condoms up at me over the railing. By this time i'm short of breath from the DUFF sitting on my diaphragm and restricting my ability to take normal breaths. B-day boy and his indian betty want to go down to the beach since the moon is out. I reluctantly agree as my sobriety starts to set in and i grow more and more disgusted with myself. We take blankets down to the beach and i continue to makeout with the DUFF while i eyeball my boy out of the corner of my eye as he proceeds to get some brain. Then, out of the blue, the DUFF decides to pass the gum she is chewing into my mouth while french-kissing. I lean over retching in disgust and ask to go back to the apartment where i tell her i have to leave to get some rest as i had an early shift the next morning. She then starts to break down in tears and gets on her knees sobbing about how i don't find her attractive. I quickly say goodnight, jump on my skate, and GTFO of there.

End of story.

 

You KISSED her?

 

I was 21, buzzed and a team player I would have let her give me dome but i was too afraid she'd get hungry and accidentally take a bite.

 

@ "Dome action"

Classic stuff amis

 

They should give you the wing man equivalent of a purple heart.

 

 

The only two bad stories I have arent too bad.

I was about 17 and I was on my way to pick up this girl I had met being a wing man to one of my boys the weekend before. She was hot tho so I didnt mind. So she invites me inside & unbeknownst to me her mother was just done having a date Im sitting in the living room on the couch and her mother comes out in stockings and a bra no panties (still not knowing Im there) and asks her daughter, "When is your date getting here? I hope it doesnt smell like cabbage in here." My date asks, "Why would it smell like cabbage in here?" Her mother says, "My pussy smells like cabbage after sex!" Her mother then proceeds into the living room & sees me in disgust on the couch. Also her mother was still pantyless

My next story I was also 17 My boy & I had just taken these two girls to the movies and it was late. So after we get out of the movies. My date was like, "Jillian's (My friends date) parents are out of town, you guys wana come over?' Of course we accept. So we get back to her house in about 10minutes. The chick I was with was loving the way I was driving. I guess young chicks like speed So she was rubbing on me the whole ride back. Meanwhile my boy is in the back making out with this chick. We know whats about to go down. So we take em upstairs and my boy's date takes him into her room & my date takes me into the guest room. We are making out and and finally we get to the action. So as I go to insert it just wouldn't fit LOL. Her hole was so tight i could barely fit a finger in. So I spent about 30 minutes tryna work this thing open. I finally get to the point when I can get the head in. It was enjoyable because of the tightness but at the same time a blower cause she couldnt take it for anything. So I gave up and got her to top me off. Her mouth barely fit on it too. LMFAO. Funny thing is once I got back to school on Monday everyone wanted to hear the story about how I was too big to fit in this chick & gutted her like a fish. Its safe to say that my chick meter went thru the roof after that weekend. LMAO

 

rick...

 

What was the mom's reaction? Did she want you too?

I picked up this chick at a club that we were dancing and making out (I was like 17 sue me). We hooked up a week or so later. I made her drive down from the next county since I didn't have a car. Chick had huge knockers but was a little heavy. I was aiming to just have her come over for some fun (parents were out). I figured it would be quick and easy since we were making out in minutes. I got her on the bed, we kiss a little, then she starts frontin how she wants to go to the movies. Then 5 mins later my dad shows up (WTF!!). So we bailed to the movies and I was whatever with her. Worst of all I saw some people I knew and I didn't bother to introduce her. Obviously I never called her again but I wasn't going to make an effor to hit that shit.

One time I took out this chick that I picked up while working at Subway. We kept bouncing around different places since we were in her area. Then she was bitching about her ex. I told her she needs to get over his ass because he probably moved on. She wasn't happy about that but I had no shame and wasn't going to live in dude's shadow. Obviously that was DOA.

Then I had a stillborn encounter. Set up a date with this super fucking hot chick. At the time I worked at a video store. We set the time, I get ready, then the bitch disappears. After a few hours my boy from my job calls me. Fucking bitch is at the store with another dude renting a movie. I called her ass up and told her to fuck off and not to go by the store. My boss had one less customer.

 

I had to add because I saw the internet dating thread. I met this chick when AOL's chat rooms were good. Exchanged pics. She was in a bra and panties so I was like sweet. Well I drove my ass to the next county to meet up. I met up with her at this park where they have a playground. It was perfect. Nobody there, different places to fuck, etc. So we start going at it but the bitch doesn't want to go further than kissing. No tit grabbing (they were huge ), no ass grabbing, and she didn't grab my shit. So it got boring quick. We went to Miami Subs and that was that. WTF, bitch wanted an interent rendevous relationship.

 

Um, guys? He's making fun of the OP.

 

Wow...I'm reading article while trying to study in a quiet area in the library and it's really hard not to burst out laughing at some of the things (like mrs.pacman dickchomper and the chick who got her vag filleted) LOL

 

hope the wife never reads this.

Stogie if you do, keep the comments to your self, this is for educational purposes.

Came home from afghanistan on 3/2004. Friends threw a huge party, went to bed w/ two girls, a fat one and a skinny one. Woke up the following morning the skinny girl had clothes on, I was naked and the fat girl was naked. End of story.

 

hope you've learned your lesson...

 

Fat girls need love too

 

Could be worse....the skinny one could have been a dude.

 

 

thats what whiskers & cl-slick are for

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I am actually crying how hard I laughed at this and everyone in my office is thinking am crazy.

 

See, from this point on, it was bound to end in an "epic fail."

 

Myspace hookups

 

 

More cushion for the pushin'.

 

The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand

 

haha.

smack the ripple, ride the wave

 

Easy recent dating horrors

I went out with this chick and it started out great. We go out to eat and it all just collapses. She's flirting with the waiter, and keeps mentioning how she's broke since she just paid her bills. She says she majors in sociology with human sexuality minor and says if you are feeling someone then its okay to do it on the first date and that she has done that before.





I told her I dont do it on the first date. She was like "if you ever rejected me, I would never speak to you again."









We dont talk now

 

nom nom nom

Classic