When a girl says she wants a break...
03-21-2005, 03:46 PM
#41
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Originally Posted by FastAcura
Thanks. Unfortunatelly I've been doing the other because I wanted to know what's going on. But since yesterday I've stopped sending her messages.
I just feel really bad for ruining this because she is the greatest girl I've ever known and I couldn't think of being with anyone else but her. It's easy to go out and see other girls, but I really don't feel like doing that. I wanna try and save this, as hard as it may seem. I'm just gonna give her time and not try to contact her for a while.
I just feel really bad for ruining this because she is the greatest girl I've ever known and I couldn't think of being with anyone else but her. It's easy to go out and see other girls, but I really don't feel like doing that. I wanna try and save this, as hard as it may seem. I'm just gonna give her time and not try to contact her for a while.
She said she's dating casually (not serious) right now, and I think it will be VERY GOOD for you if you do the same. You don't have to go out and fall in love with someone, but at least be around other girls....it may be hard at first, but will help.
03-21-2005, 03:57 PM
#42
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Originally Posted by ABreece
She wants to fuck the guy at work who's been hitting on her for a few weeks.
It means nothing else.
03-21-2005, 04:57 PM
#43
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Originally Posted by TheMainEvEnt
FastAcura,
Girls do get confused emotionally at times. Your anger issues really frustrated her so she decided to take a break from you. Women do not sudden decide to take a break, we carefully think about it for awhile, giving men chances after chances. You probably continued to frustrate her or made her cry when you two argued. You have showed that you are a man by first admitting you have anger issue and seek couselling..
You seem to really like her, if not really LOVE her. The best thing you can do now is to focus on working out your anger management and become a better person
Think twice before you start yelling, think twice before you become angry, ask yourself if it's worth stressing over a simple matter. I don't know her personality so I cannot say if she's really dating this "nice guy" or simply a "rebound" for her. If it's meant to be, she will be back into your life, if not.. you lost someone you love but you also gained something (able to control your anger issues). She mentioned "if you two haven't had a break, you wouldn't have gotten help", clearly she looks out for you and does love you. Time is the only thing that can heal the pain, and fate is the only thing that can bring you two back together if that's a case. Please concentrate on working your inner issues out, and you will mature alot more than you think. Perhaps she will come back one day, I know I would if I see my man working hard to become a more mature person.
What attracts a woman is a hard working man facing his weakness, I love that!
Good luck~
Girls do get confused emotionally at times. Your anger issues really frustrated her so she decided to take a break from you. Women do not sudden decide to take a break, we carefully think about it for awhile, giving men chances after chances. You probably continued to frustrate her or made her cry when you two argued. You have showed that you are a man by first admitting you have anger issue and seek couselling..
You seem to really like her, if not really LOVE her. The best thing you can do now is to focus on working out your anger management and become a better person
Think twice before you start yelling, think twice before you become angry, ask yourself if it's worth stressing over a simple matter. I don't know her personality so I cannot say if she's really dating this "nice guy" or simply a "rebound" for her. If it's meant to be, she will be back into your life, if not.. you lost someone you love but you also gained something (able to control your anger issues). She mentioned "if you two haven't had a break, you wouldn't have gotten help", clearly she looks out for you and does love you. Time is the only thing that can heal the pain, and fate is the only thing that can bring you two back together if that's a case. Please concentrate on working your inner issues out, and you will mature alot more than you think. Perhaps she will come back one day, I know I would if I see my man working hard to become a more mature person.What attracts a woman is a hard working man facing his weakness, I love that!
Good luck~
Yes, I really love her and she really loved me. Then I started acting like an idiot. I see a counselor once a week. But I believe she's purpously trying to piss me off. For example, she never used to come online, but now her screenname is always on and she leaves messages like "Out and about with scottie" or "Sick of the computer, gimme a call"
Oh well, I gotta live with this now and learn from my mistakes.
Last edited by FastAcura; 03-21-2005 at 05:02 PM.
03-21-2005, 06:17 PM
#44
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First of it is her loss, not yours. Her problem of being a whiney little immature girl. Hopefully you'll find yourself a women who knows what a relaltionship is/means. Instead of owning up to her mistakes she makes herself feel better by blaming you.
Best of luck, exercise helps/works.
Best of luck, exercise helps/works.
03-21-2005, 06:22 PM
#45
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Anyone who wants a break from me is basically telling me that who I am is too much for her. IMO, if I'm not doing anything wrong, relationshipwise or as a person, then they can get a walkin'. I'll even call a cab for them to get them out of my life even quicker.
03-21-2005, 06:44 PM
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Originally Posted by virtualbong
Anyone who wants a break from me is basically telling me that who I am is too much for her. IMO, if I'm not doing anything wrong, relationshipwise or as a person, .
I agree with you in some sense. I would never ask my bf to change himself for me. But in terms of anger managment, it's important that a guy doesn't get out of hands and end up hitting the other half. Maybe it's her loss, but you live and learn.
If she's really in love with him, she would not play games. She would come back to him as soon as he learns that "yelling", or "getting angry so quickly" isn't always the right thing to do.
03-21-2005, 07:01 PM
#47
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Thanks for all your comments, it's really appreciated.
Personally, if I loved someone and they had flaws, I wouldn't leave them and go with another girl the next day. Especially not if the girl was trying to take care of the problems.
I know I hurt her, but she could have handled this a different way. I know that this is my mistake and I don't blame her for that, but you would really expect more support from someone this close.
Personally, if I loved someone and they had flaws, I wouldn't leave them and go with another girl the next day. Especially not if the girl was trying to take care of the problems.
I know I hurt her, but she could have handled this a different way. I know that this is my mistake and I don't blame her for that, but you would really expect more support from someone this close.
03-21-2005, 07:05 PM
#48
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Originally Posted by JesusJuice
I say fuck her best friend
you need to at least have sex with two other girls. in case you ever get back together with your now ex girlfriend, you can't have her be one up on you.
or just fuck her best friend and forget about that "two other girls" part
03-21-2005, 09:14 PM
#49
Originally Posted by FastAcura
I know that this is my mistake and I don't blame her for that, but you would really expect more support from someone this close.
I really hate just crying at any given time, sometimes in front of people. How pathetic that I can't hold myself together?? Every damn thing reminds me of her. Every song, every place, every thought, and every dream!! It kills me to find strands of her hair all over my apartment. Her smile is magical. I know I sound like a mushy bastard, but she is my life, and I want her back.
Fastacura, I wish strength!! I've been hitting the gym hard to burn of some steam. It seems to help. Just think about how good you'll feel when you find out the root of your anger, and ways to handle it, or even avoid it altogether!!
03-22-2005, 07:50 AM
#51
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Originally Posted by Rodney
I really hate just crying at any given time, sometimes in front of people. How pathetic that I can't hold myself together?? Every damn thing reminds me of her. Every song, every place, every thought, and every dream!! It kills me to find strands of her hair all over my apartment. Her smile is magical. I know I sound like a mushy bastard, but she is my life, and I want her back.
Her and I watched Napoleon Dynamite quite a few times together so we would always say stupid things from the movie like "Gosh, freakin idiot" Well I had the women at work hooked so they say it all the time. Now every time they say it, it reminds me of her. I know it's lame, but that's the first thing I think of when something like that comes up.
And to everyone who says that she wants to "bang" another guy from work/school. She is not like that. And if she does do that, then there would be deffinitely no getting back together.
03-22-2005, 08:22 AM
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Originally Posted by FastAcura
What EXACTLY does she mean? You just don't see each other for some time? How long do "breaks" usually last? Do you see other people?
03-22-2005, 08:31 AM
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FA, I didn't read any other posts before I posted the previous post so I was in the dark about what transpired. So the girl did date another guy. It sounds to me like she was looking for an excuse. You need to move on and find someone else. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but if you let her go and move forward, you'll feel so much better. Why would you want to stay with a piece of trash like her anyway? I don't care what anyone else says, that girl is trash and you can find better than trash any day of the week. Send me a PM if you want talk about finding better girls and moving on.
03-22-2005, 08:32 AM
#54
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That would explain why she was hiding the online conversations WHILE we weren't on a break. One time I came into her room and she automatically blocked the guy. (This guy turned out to be the guy she was dating) So technically, she was doing shit behind my back before we even were on the "break."
A day later I sent that guy a message and he was like "I'm her intimate partner" I called her and she just happened to be on the phone with him in the middle of the night and she was sending him the messages I was sending her. Then i called her house and she had to answer otherwise it would have woken up her parents. She was like "That was just a joke because you were treating me like shit. Now you're learned your lesson how not to treat me. I didn't wanna tell you I want a break when you were here."
Yeah, it's easy to just blame EVERYTHING on someone else. The thing is, she is not the type of girl who goes and sleep around. She was still a virgin before me so I wouldn't think that she'd go out and do some other guy. Oh well, like I said if it turns out that she slept with someone else, I would never even consider getting back together.
JEBEM JOJ MATER
A day later I sent that guy a message and he was like "I'm her intimate partner" I called her and she just happened to be on the phone with him in the middle of the night and she was sending him the messages I was sending her. Then i called her house and she had to answer otherwise it would have woken up her parents. She was like "That was just a joke because you were treating me like shit. Now you're learned your lesson how not to treat me. I didn't wanna tell you I want a break when you were here."
Yeah, it's easy to just blame EVERYTHING on someone else. The thing is, she is not the type of girl who goes and sleep around. She was still a virgin before me so I wouldn't think that she'd go out and do some other guy. Oh well, like I said if it turns out that she slept with someone else, I would never even consider getting back together.
JEBEM JOJ MATER
Last edited by FastAcura; 03-22-2005 at 08:35 AM.
03-22-2005, 09:53 AM
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FA, you need to dump this girl for good, man. Sometimes when you're angry, you feel like you can't let go. You feel like taking the girl back because she's your property and not anyone else's. The truth is, those kind of thoughts can be extremely dangerous. I'm not saying you're like that, but hear me out.
In NYC, a new bride was gunned down by her crazy ex boyfriend on her wedding day. Do you want to be like that ex boyfriend? If you walk away from her right now, you can start over and find a girl who's worthy of your attention. Anger can lead to very bad things so remember the dead bride, and just walk away from this girl right now. She's not worth your anger, bro, trust me.
In NYC, a new bride was gunned down by her crazy ex boyfriend on her wedding day. Do you want to be like that ex boyfriend? If you walk away from her right now, you can start over and find a girl who's worthy of your attention. Anger can lead to very bad things so remember the dead bride, and just walk away from this girl right now. She's not worth your anger, bro, trust me.
03-22-2005, 10:02 AM
#56
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honestly if she dated someone after you two took a break then there was someone else she had her eye on. when a girl says takinga break i can be good b/c she genuinely wants it to work and another reason is as batin dean said "she wants to fuck another guy. Some guy's been putting moves on her and she doesn't want the guilt of cheating so she claims you 2 are on break for a while, has sex with the new guy and if she doesn't like him, she goes back to you. If she likes him, you 2 never get back together. That break shit is some fucked up excuse that women love to use." but its hard to judge b/c like i said, i can be for the good but more likely the bad. ive seen only a few girls where breaks where taken to actually clear their head. you cant clear your head by dating other people.
03-22-2005, 10:11 AM
#57
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Originally Posted by Black3.2
honestly if she dated someone after you two took a break then there was someone else she had her eye on. when a girl says takinga break i can be good b/c she genuinely wants it to work and another reason is as batin dean said "she wants to fuck another guy. Some guy's been putting moves on her and she doesn't want the guilt of cheating so she claims you 2 are on break for a while, has sex with the new guy and if she doesn't like him, she goes back to you. If she likes him, you 2 never get back together. That break shit is some fucked up excuse that women love to use." but its hard to judge b/c like i said, i can be for the good but more likely the bad. ive seen only a few girls where breaks where taken to actually clear their head. you cant clear your head by dating other people.
Exactly! And when you only see each other once a week, there's enough time to clear your head in between. My first reaction was, she wants to be with this guy so now she's trying to blame EVERYTHING on me (I agree that this is mostly my mistake) but I told her that when you really love someone, you wanna be there for them through good and bad times. Obviously some guy has been hitting on her and she's been thinking about this for a while.
Then i thought "I'm the bad guy, I didn't mean to ruin it." But then she leaves those stupid away messages like "out and about with scottie." If she really cared about me and my feelings, she wouldn't want me to see that.
I'm mad and upset at the same time. It's not hard to give up something you've been so close to for years, but people change and she wants to be with another guy. It just shows her personality. I'm not a rebound guy so if she tried coming back to me, I would never take her back now. She'll know what she's lost the first time she gets into an argument with the other guy and when he breaks her heart. I never would have thought that she would do something like that but this whole picture is making more sense now.
03-22-2005, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by FastAcura
I'm mad and upset at the same time. It's not hard to give up something you've been so close to for years, but people change and she wants to be with another guy. It just shows her personality. I'm not a rebound guy so if she tried coming back to me, I would never take her back now. She'll know what she's lost the first time she gets into an argument with the other guy and when he breaks her heart. I never would have thought that she would do something like that but this whole picture is making more sense now.
03-22-2005, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by FastAcura
when you only see each other once a week, there's enough time to clear your head in between
Originally Posted by Black3.2
honestly if she dated someone after you two took a break then there was someone else she had her eye on.
FastAcura, nobody really knows her the way you do. We can only comment on what you tell us. There's always 2 sides to the story, we are on your side because we know you here and based on your facts given here. I think you should forget about her as Batin Dean said
Originally Posted by Batin Dean
Sometimes when you're angry, you feel like you can't let go. You feel like taking the girl back because she's your property and not anyone else's. The truth is, those kind of thoughts can be extremely dangerous.
Last edited by TheMainEvEnt; 03-22-2005 at 10:40 AM.
03-22-2005, 10:40 AM
#60
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I'm just glad that I'm not the only guy who thinks that something was wrong with her talking to the other guy and doubting her. She says that it's my fault and I don't give her enough space, yet we only saw each other once a week, AT THE MOST. Lately she hasn't even been coming and made stupid excuses that her car is broken. She also said she doesn't have enough time to ever call me because she is busy with school. A few days after she wanted the "break" I went there to clear things up and she was out with that guy until 1 AM at the movies in the middle of the week. Talk about "not having enough time because of school and work" She kept saying "you don't trust me." How should I trust you when you just put up a profile on www.adultfriendfinder.com and denied it, and then you talk to this guy and are hiding him from me?
The "you don't trust me" excuse is really the lamest. I could trust her more than anyone else before she started acting weird and doing that type of stuff.
I'm glad I found out all this about her before we made plans to get married.
Now I can fix my issues and get into a real relationship who I don't have to worry about running after other guys and making lame excuses as to why she "wants a break"
The "you don't trust me" excuse is really the lamest. I could trust her more than anyone else before she started acting weird and doing that type of stuff.
I'm glad I found out all this about her before we made plans to get married.
Now I can fix my issues and get into a real relationship who I don't have to worry about running after other guys and making lame excuses as to why she "wants a break"
Last edited by FastAcura; 03-22-2005 at 10:43 AM.
03-22-2005, 11:21 AM
#61
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Originally Posted by TheMainEvEnt
It's wrong for anyone to take a break from their partner. She took a break from FastAcura because someone have always been after her. In my opinion, she's playing it "safe.....just in case the guy doesn't turn out to be what she expected. She could always go babck to him. I cannot comment on taking a break on your issue because when I took a break, it was for other reasons. But I did not go out and date another person during those time
03-22-2005, 11:27 AM
#62
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I absolutley agree. Being with another guy the next day after you say "I need a break to clear my head" is just disrespectful. I'm not sure what message she's trying to send me but it sure as hell isn't gonna make me come back to her AFTER her head is "clear."
Like Talib Kweli said "But that Karma is a bitch, you steady asking God why"
Like Talib Kweli said "But that Karma is a bitch, you steady asking God why"
03-22-2005, 04:07 PM
#64
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Originally Posted by FastAcura
I'm just glad that I'm not the only guy who thinks that something was wrong with her talking to the other guy and doubting her. She says that it's my fault and I don't give her enough space, yet we only saw each other once a week, AT THE MOST. Lately she hasn't even been coming and made stupid excuses that her car is broken. She also said she doesn't have enough time to ever call me because she is busy with school. A few days after she wanted the "break" I went there to clear things up and she was out with that guy until 1 AM at the movies in the middle of the week. Talk about "not having enough time because of school and work" She kept saying "you don't trust me." How should I trust you when you just put up a profile on www.adultfriendfinder.com and denied it, and then you talk to this guy and are hiding him from me?
The "you don't trust me" excuse is really the lamest. I could trust her more than anyone else before she started acting weird and doing that type of stuff.
I'm glad I found out all this about her before we made plans to get married.
Now I can fix my issues and get into a real relationship who I don't have to worry about running after other guys and making lame excuses as to why she "wants a break"
The "you don't trust me" excuse is really the lamest. I could trust her more than anyone else before she started acting weird and doing that type of stuff.
I'm glad I found out all this about her before we made plans to get married.
Now I can fix my issues and get into a real relationship who I don't have to worry about running after other guys and making lame excuses as to why she "wants a break"
Remove anything that reminds you of her and move on. Never speak again. Get in touch with your friends, pick up a new hobby/sport. Excercise. You're much better off and you don't deserve somebody who cheats.
<---all to familiar with the dangers of an emotional affair and can smell them coming a mile away.
03-22-2005, 05:06 PM
#65
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Originally Posted by spidey07
Dude, that's what they do. Happens all the time - she's trying to blame you for her affair to feel better for her lowest of lowlife actions. that way she absolves her guilt. You are much better off I think.
Remove anything that reminds you of her and move on. Never speak again. Get in touch with your friends, pick up a new hobby/sport. Excercise. You're much better off and you don't deserve somebody who cheats.
<---all to familiar with the dangers of an emotional affair and can smell them coming a mile away.
Remove anything that reminds you of her and move on. Never speak again. Get in touch with your friends, pick up a new hobby/sport. Excercise. You're much better off and you don't deserve somebody who cheats.
<---all to familiar with the dangers of an emotional affair and can smell them coming a mile away.
Werd. She'll get it all back one day. Haven't been in contact with her since Sunday and don't plan on ever talking to her again.
I'm sure this pain will go away in a few weeks....months.
03-22-2005, 05:37 PM
#67
F1 cart racer
i know exactly how you feel and it hurts inside.
i know i'm young and i have had other gf's but this one was special to me and the closest to me but believe it or not my now ex pulled almost the same sort of thing where she wanted a break for a while but yet she just met these new guys who she said are friends and that i don't trust her going out with these "friends". i was like WTF, your my gf we should be together. BTW we only saw each other on the weekends so that sucked even more when i heard that. there are other reasons why we broke it off, some physcological thing that goes back to the death of her father, her mom is trying to help her with that by bringing her to a physcologist for the first time tonight., and it's going to come all back to me. hopefully she sees what the hell was wrong and how bad the whole situation was.
and yeah she blamed everything on me, go figure. everything i see, hear, look at reminds me of her and i can't stand it and if she does come crawling back ihave to really consider it since my situation is different since she really doesn't like them but they still screwed up our relationship. good luck. i need to do something with my time too to get her off my mind.
i know i'm young and i have had other gf's but this one was special to me and the closest to me but believe it or not my now ex pulled almost the same sort of thing where she wanted a break for a while but yet she just met these new guys who she said are friends and that i don't trust her going out with these "friends". i was like WTF, your my gf we should be together. BTW we only saw each other on the weekends so that sucked even more when i heard that. there are other reasons why we broke it off, some physcological thing that goes back to the death of her father, her mom is trying to help her with that by bringing her to a physcologist for the first time tonight., and it's going to come all back to me. hopefully she sees what the hell was wrong and how bad the whole situation was.
and yeah she blamed everything on me, go figure. everything i see, hear, look at reminds me of her and i can't stand it and if she does come crawling back ihave to really consider it since my situation is different since she really doesn't like them but they still screwed up our relationship. good luck. i need to do something with my time too to get her off my mind.
Last edited by AS3.0CL; 03-22-2005 at 05:41 PM.
03-22-2005, 05:49 PM
#68
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Yeah, I know how you feel. But the thing is, she seems HAPPY! I'm not sure if she's trying to make it look like as if she is happy or if she really is happy.
Oh well. All I can tell you is that it will get better, trust me. Once you meet other girls don't look at what they don't have compared to your ex, but look at the things the new girls do have that your ex didn't have.
Plus, most girls won't just leave you for another guy like mine did.
Oh well. All I can tell you is that it will get better, trust me. Once you meet other girls don't look at what they don't have compared to your ex, but look at the things the new girls do have that your ex didn't have.
Plus, most girls won't just leave you for another guy like mine did.
03-22-2005, 06:06 PM
#69
F1 cart racer
Originally Posted by FastAcura
Yeah, I know how you feel. But the thing is, she seems HAPPY! I'm not sure if she's trying to make it look like as if she is happy or if she really is happy.
Oh well. All I can tell you is that it will get better, trust me. Once you meet other girls don't look at what they don't have compared to your ex, but look at the things the new girls do have that your ex didn't have.
Plus, most girls won't just leave you for another guy like mine did.
Oh well. All I can tell you is that it will get better, trust me. Once you meet other girls don't look at what they don't have compared to your ex, but look at the things the new girls do have that your ex didn't have.
Plus, most girls won't just leave you for another guy like mine did.
my ex left me for another guy, well kind of even though i think nothing will happen. it's just that thier the wanna be ghetto guys, it blows my mind. i hope it does get better, i hope she gets her head on strait because her mom even sees that this whole thing is screwed up. and you know what no matter what you do it is ALWAYS your fault no matter what, it's kind of sad if you think about it. i hope i can get over it and i say to you, good luck.
03-22-2005, 06:51 PM
#70
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Originally Posted by FastAcura
Yeah, I know how you feel. But the thing is, she seems HAPPY! I'm not sure if she's trying to make it look like as if she is happy or if she really is happy.
Oh well. All I can tell you is that it will get better, trust me. Once you meet other girls don't look at what they don't have compared to your ex, but look at the things the new girls do have that your ex didn't have.
Plus, most girls won't just leave you for another guy like mine did.
Oh well. All I can tell you is that it will get better, trust me. Once you meet other girls don't look at what they don't have compared to your ex, but look at the things the new girls do have that your ex didn't have.
Plus, most girls won't just leave you for another guy like mine did.
Its becoming more and more common, latest studies show women cheat much more often then men. They are just that stupid (most) - always chasing that next relationship, always wanting that feeling of meeting somebody new like they do in the movies.
Anyway, she's gone. Move on. Blame it on her severe mental illness and character flaw.
03-22-2005, 10:46 PM
#72
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Glad this thread up. I've been trying to figure out what a break is and whether it is bullshit or not. Or if its right for me *sigh* Best of luck with your situation.
03-23-2005, 12:20 PM
#73
I
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I'm reading this anger management book and it actually talks about people getting detached when being yelled at/argued with. It talks about close family members, friends and loved ones developing "fear, resentment and lack of trust which may cause alientation from individuals." I believe this is what might have happened.
03-23-2005, 04:32 PM
#74
F1 cart racer
Originally Posted by FastAcura
I'm reading this anger management book and it actually talks about people getting detached when being yelled at/argued with. It talks about close family members, friends and loved ones developing "fear, resentment and lack of trust which may cause alientation from individuals." I believe this is what might have happened.
this is like what happened to me. i bring something up that she doesn't like, argues with me about it because i won't let it go nor will she and then she has the fear of this coming up again so she wants to run away from the problem and break everything off. she has also done this with friends after they get into a fight and then she alienates them.
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