God, I hate all of you guys.

Ok, I'm just kidding, but really..playing games? make her tell you first? I mean, damn, is this how guys really think?? UGH!

The first time my bf and I exchanged I love you's was ONE week after we met. I meant it. Still do. I really believe he meant it. Was it too early? Yes. Did I know it was too early then? Yes. Do I care now that it was too early--no matter what happens? No. I said what I needed to say and I have no regrets. I meant it and I played no games and held nothing back.

Actually the song that was in my head when I was thinking about saying it was John Mayer "Say".

 

Ive never heard of that and I'm 18.

How long have you two been together now?

 

Many people seem to confuse lust, obessession, comfortability....for real love.

I know couples that like/love each other, they are not in love with each other, but they stay together as they are use to eachother. Thus the lovely divorce rate in this country.

When you are in real love, it's hard to describe the feeling, it's an euphoric sensation knowing that you found your other half, it's awesome.
I've been down that road, and even that didn't work out, so love is not enough; not in this world, sadly.

Plus, the more mature the relationship becomes the more meaningful and magical those 3 words will be, so wait, don't rush....let a romantic moment arise, make it memorable... Wow,that was some :theghey: on my part, lol. sorry.

 

Hmmm I don't get "let her say first" thing either. I'll say it when I feel it's the right moment. Whether she wants to say it back or not, that's up to her (though I'd want her to).

 

Yeah if not... awk-

 

I usually say it sarcastically right after the first time we have sex... it always gets a laugh

 

Ahaha, I had a situation with my most recent ex. It was after the most amazing sex she'd given I just falt out said I looooooove you. Obviously pertaining to the sex.. but she kept saying it and afterward the relationship was ruined haha.

Moral: Don't say I love you unless you're ready for what entails.

 

I had a girl promise she would let me PITTB if I said it to her, but I still couldn't... She was a category 3 storm...

 

....................x2

 

Is that like a stage 5 clinger?

 

I'm loving the acronym.

 

Funny you bring this up. One of the things that make the English language difficult is we use this one word to mean many different things. You can love pizza, and love your wife, but they are clearly different things. In Greek, there are at least four different words for "love" but all translate to the English word love. One is the love you have for a friend, one for family, one for something more resembling lust, and the last which actually translates more to "look out for the best interest of the other". So if we had a better language, you'd have a different word for "I love my dog" versus "I love my girlfriend", because they mean such different things.

This is why the Bible (which was translated into Greek before English) is so confusing to folks when is says to "love your enemies" or "love your brother". In Greek they use the right word that makes more sense than the generic English "love", but that is for a different forum... .

 

Actually, love is a decision, not a feeling. Many folks think it's a feeling, but feelings come and go. Don't get me wrong, you have to have all the other components - commong ground, physical attraction, etc. I mean you have to like eachother. But being "in love" is a decision you make.

In 18 years of marriage, there have been times when I have not liked my wife, and she hasn't liked me. I did something stupid, or she did something anoying. It happens. No matter how well you all get along, you will have moments when you're just not thrilled with eachother. So this is where marriages or relationships based on this "feeling" of being in love get into trouble. Feelings come and go. You feel good one day, you don't the next. Marriages cannot survive long term if they are based on something this transient. It has to be based on something that can transcend the bad times. Something stronger than your "feeling" that you're not too happy with your spouse at the moment (or the "feeling" that you're happy because she puts out on demand). Because, they are just moments. For all the times we've felt like that, we get over it, and then we move on to being happy again.

So YoungCeo - want to say "I love you" and mean it? Say it when what you really mean is this: "Any harm in this world that comes to you will have to go through me first. I will decide to act on your best interest, even if it's not in mine. Nothing we come up against will change this, and we'll work together through all that comes our way. I will do these things now, tomorrow, and 50 years from now without fail."

Ready for that? :wink:

 

^^ Forgot one important thing. If she can say the same to you, then you've got something. It requires balance - two people looking out for the best interest of the other - for things to work.

 

October 14, 2008.

....Don't do it exactly on this day and things will go to hell.

 

yes this is how guys really think. maybe you should take it and apply it to your situation.

 

I remember when I first heard of love being described this way in one of my Theology classes. My professor stressed that feelings come and go, hence marriage should be based beyond them.

 

Thats tight. I will save that for...about 3 months from now when I say it! After this weekend, I think her "I like you's" were actually just that. Dont' get me wrong, she is VERY MUCH into me, and I am into her, but love is way too strong. If I would have said it anytime prior to now, I know it would have been premature. We spent some time over the weekend. Spent the night for the first time together. Nothing happened. We were both VERY tired...and like I said, I can read her and I realize that she is going through some what of a transition period, I wants to take things a bit slow...so she is worth it to me to wait for whatever I am expecting...the "i love you", or taking the relationship to the next level, or whatever. I just have to practice and learn to read her....

 

When you mean it. Honestly, if the love is there, then anytime would be a good time. Your body should already know whether she'll react the same way or not.

 

I say it when I feel it. Why all the games? If the words are not returned at the exact same time, so what? They will be shortly after if it's all good.

The people that I love know it. I never want them to doubt it or forget it. That includes my kids, my friends, my extended family and definitly my significant other. I don't know if it helps them feel any happier, but it sure does make me feel good.

For the record though, I haven't always been the first, and I'm generally NOT the first to ask for monogamy.

I think parts of this thread are very romantic. Nice to see.

 

+1 Louder

 

Outstanding!

 

Thanks!

 

it is proper to say the "I love you" phrase right after you remove penus from her anus

 

Love is a decision? No duh, everything in life is a decision.
Being a huge philosophy fan we can rationalize this till the end of days.

Saying I love you should not be at a start to a better relationship; it should only be a tiny reinforcement to the existing one. I want to love her appearance, and I want to fall in love with her soul = is this what qualifies to be the universal standard for love? Which I find to be a very overrated word anyway...

Is it a decision to love someone one? Sure... is it supposed to be debatable? NO! So is it a decision? First you need to narrow it down to two simple choices: conditional or unconditional love.

Conditional, I love her now and always will unless there is a but... In this case 'but' can be a million things, she gained weight, she doesn't want to do this/that, her parents are annoying...etc...etc..

Unconditional, I love her now and always will no matter what circumstances arise. All her faults are now my faults, and vice-versa. And yes this, this requires a lot of work, but this is what leads to 50 yr marriages...unlike the common trend of 5-10 years, and then a divorce.

All relationships require work, what makes the difference, is how both parties are willing to come to a satisfying outcome. Love, romance, communication, responsibility and respect, are all building blocks for that real love everyone seeks.

You choose to be with someone, you don't choose to fall in love with someone. Before you fall in love, you need to choose to be with that person; this is where the decision process comes into play. Not after. You bake the cake, then you put a cherry on top.

Rationalize what the word means to you, and be thankful that you are homo sapien with a powerful gift of reason.

 

If her name is Bubba, and she likes to wear an orange gown to bed, it is actually recommended, lol.

 

:behindbars: