I've talking/dating this girl for about a month now. We've clicked on all levels, and right now, it really does seem like a perfect match. Anyway, about a week ago, as we were texting goodnight, she said "I....like you"...kind of implying at least what I thought, that she wanted to say I love you, but it seemed way too early in the whole thing. Really, it would have seemed appropriate the way our friendship has grown in such a short amount of time, but it seems TOO EARLY. Obviously there isn't a cookie cutter answer, but I've been thinking about it the last couple days. I think what I'll probably do is wait until we are officially together, and then say it. We say "I like you" all the time, at the times when couples would say I love you. Its funny and interesting actually cause as many times as I've been dating someone, I've never done that. Man, she is niiiiice....we've been on the same page since the very beginning, and it has just flowed SO well. We laugh soemtimes because at times, we act like we've been together for a long time, and it actually feels like that, and really its only been a month or so.


~ LoveStruck

 

ur still in the honeymoon period IMO...but say it when you mean it...

 

Yeah....I agree with that. It FEELS too early, which has made me not say it. But I certainly have felt it and if I say it now, I'd mean it. But I think I'm waiting maybe...kinda like till I feel like its "boiling over" on the inside? lol...that sounds stupid but like I said, it feels too early, but she said the whole (I "like" you) think before I did.

 

6 months.


j/k you'll know when the right time is. But you don't want to scare her off by saying it too soon. You can show her that you love her with your actions better anyway IMO.

 

yea, dont rush it man...let her fall in love with you and vice versa

 

its appropriate when you want to sex her

 

I was thinking that too about the whole fooling around thing. With her, I'm actually trying to play that extra slow too...the whole physical thing can be overdone and ruin a relationship when you go too crazy physically without getting the friendship part down first. I guess I'm kinda playing this one carefully....

 

Let her say it first. Control yourself.

Never say "I love you" first. Same thing with being "official" - let her bring up the topic of monogamy. She'll bring it up if she has very high interest and then you can say yes.

For girls, engaging in monogamy and saying I love you, is like a marriage proposal.

 

It's better to be overly aggressive and have it blow up in your face than to take things too slow and get put into the friend zone.

More often than not (by a high margin), playing it slow will devalue your role as a sexual man, and thus reduce you to one of her girlfriends.

 

How slow? Is there any kind of "physical affection" at all going on right now? You say it's been about a month now, right? I don't know about others, but if you haven't shared anything beyond "greeting hugs" then it may already be too late.

 

LOL...I'm well past the friend box. The only reason we haven't fooled around is because we haven't had the oppoutunity. She lives in Jersey, I'm in DC. She is moving down her (not because of me) on Monday coming up, so there will be pleny of oppoutunity for that. And I've hinted a few times and I already know her ears are VERY (I said...VERY) sensitive...and there are other ways that I know...I'm nowhere near the friend box. As far as phycial affection, we've kissed SEVERAL times...the times we've seen eachotehr have been like over the weekend in public places...we haven't had any alone time for a while because like I said, she's in Jersey. We were both in philly last weekend, and we kissed, but didn't have time (or alone space) for anything else. We'll be at a homecoming weekend, and we are staying in the same hotel, and she requested ONE BED.....

 

Have you guys touched yet?

 

What is this some online dating thing?

Funny I had a girl from DC I wish woulda moved to Jersey.

 

When you feel the time is right

Thats not a word I would just throw around

 

My opinion is to never say it, until she says it first. That makes the thinking a little easier.

 

I'd wait till she says it first.

 

LOL...I've touched her hind parts, and she likes to rub my...well I wont say, but it ISNT that.....but yeah, we've had close contact....

 

LOL...nah...we knew eachother through high school and college...she's a friend of my cousins girl...she's been on my myspace (wait, that is online isn't it? lmao) but when I saw her ( at the dark knight premier) she said I never returned her myspace messages...im what like what? So that monday (movies on saturday) i sent her a message, and we've been going back and forth EVERDAY since then...it was like we went instantly from friends to more than friends...its been crazy, fun, exciting...all those things...and she blows me away on so many levels...man...this could be really good

 

When you accidentally get her pregnant

 

FAWK THAT

 

And if she asks "do you love me?" Don't answer directly. Ask her the same question back and see what she says. You could go back and forth for hours like this.

But don't feel bad, girls are the same way. It's all in the game baby!

 

It IS all in the game...the old me would have said it long ago...but I've learned how to play lol...even letting her initiate the first kiss...I've learned alot over the years

 

Its like a business negotiation, young CEO, the first one to say it loses.

 

Never

 

 

I accidently said it too early to a stage 5 clinger once when I was a wee bit tipsy. BIG MISTAKE. First of all because I didn't mean it, second because I was drunk, and third because when I wouldn't say it when we got off the phone and shit she'd get pissed and call back... be like "why didn't you say it", "is something wrong", "are you going to brake up with me"

 

ah MAN...me and my ex used to do that if one of us didn't say it.....

lmao @ but thats so true (that smiley is crazy)

 

I know man, that shit was in high school and would drive me nuts!

Same would happen if I didn't say it every 6 words...

 

dont worry youngceo your pals at AZ are with you from the first "i love you" to the break up thread


nah im joking sounds like you found a good one, hold on to her if you really feel that way... usually the first i love you comes naturally, dont plan a time to say it.. life doesnt give a shit about your plans anyway lol... youll know when its time to say it you'll have that "perfect" moment. good luck though.

 

I've had that kind too that shit is FTL

 

I think you should wait to kiss until you are married.

:wink: j/k of course...

I don't think you should wait for her to say it first - what if she's getting the same advice on her car forum? Now you both are playing a goofy game of chicken. Following any rule to say I love you is just contrived and mechanical. Love is neither.

For me, there are lots of things you can say to warm up to "I love you" that can give you a good read based on how she reacts to it. This is all going to sound corny on the forum, but hopefully you'll get the idea. You can start with things like "I've neve been happier than I am with you", "I love being with you", etc. Take it a notch past "I like you" and see if she responds in kind. When the moment is right, go with something stronger. If she responds in a similar way, then you're heading in the right direction. After a time, the "I love you" will just flow out at the right moment.

Also, and this is just me, don't say it right after sex. Do it before, or some other time, but saying it after sex just sounds like an obligation in exchange for her letting you

 

when you are going away on a business trip far away from your gf/wife

 

x19

 

I usually only say it when I am lowering the basket with the lotion. It eases the nerves a bit, and generally negates the need for the hose.

 

Considering that you are making a thread on this, you are not ready for those words.

And please tell me how da f*ck you fall in love in one month? First month it's always all peachy because you are still in the process of learning about each other, so yes, it's exciting... give it 6 months to a year. And enjoy your freedom. lol

 

is this before or after you have informed them that "It puts the lotion on"?

 

Good thoughts...

Is loving someone the same as being "in love"? I can love my dog, being around my dog, playing with my dog, but I'm certainly not "in love" with my dog.

 

It is not the same. You can definitely love someone and not be in-love with them. WTF....you love your mom? Are you "in love" with your mom?

 

Right, that was my point. I can love this girl, without being in love with her. I can't love her after 6 weeks
of continuous conversation and interaction?

 

Not sure about this case though. I think you can love a friend, family member or someone you have known for a while without being in love with them.

You have romantic feelings for this chick and there is nothing wrong with being in love with her. Hell, I know people that fell in love with someone after their first date. Maybe sooner. It happens.

It sounds to me like you're just a bit afraid and won't admit it to yourself. People always say that you lose the upperhand if you say it first. That's true at times and it's utter BS other times. For me, if I feel that way about someone, I would tell them. Life is too short to live in fear my friend.