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What's the worst place you ever got wood?

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Old 05-11-2006, 09:06 PM
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Sporting wood during a meeting at work...wearing tan khakis.....hoping I didn't have to stand up to give my weekly report
Old 05-13-2006, 02:47 PM
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Man, you guys are freakin funny! I never knew of this section of the forum until today. I've gotta visit more often.
Old 05-13-2006, 02:51 PM
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Originally Posted by 05TLTony
Man, you guys are freakin funny! I never knew of this section of the forum until today. I've gotta visit more often.
Turn around, walk slowly the other way and pretend you were never here....
Old 05-13-2006, 03:22 PM
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No way man! This is some good shit! I fit in perfectely.
Old 05-13-2006, 04:08 PM
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Originally Posted by 05TLTony
No way man! This is some good shit! I fit in perfectely.
We'll be the judge of that. Now bend over and spread em.
Old 05-13-2006, 04:15 PM
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Originally Posted by 05TLTony
No way man! This is some good shit! I fit in perfectely.
Don't say we didn't warn you. This place sucks the life out of you...or at least your productivity at work.

Let's also hope you're thick-skinned.
Old 05-13-2006, 04:18 PM
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dancing with gramdma at my father's second wedding. my step mother's daughter was hot and also on the dance floor. I was holding grandma but looking at my new "sister". kinda awkward, but grandma did invite me over more often for cookies after that. hmmm.....
Old 05-14-2006, 12:02 AM
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Originally Posted by PillsburyChoboy
I was in a limo that was driving my GF and her family to a funeral for her great grandmother (they weren't very close). Everyone was packed in tightly so my GF was sitting on me lap. Understand that the atmosphere is quite glum and somber.

And right on cue, my shorty feels the "pressure" from her slighly bouncing ass/motion of the car and begins it's Jekyll-Hyde transformation. I can literally feel it stretching and yawning like "OK, here we go! Let's get it started!"

Of course, my GF looks at me with an expression best described as priceless ... a combination of "WTF?!?" and "Mmm ... nice" and "You gotta to be kidding me!" She leans over and whispers, "Stop. Stop. Stop" And I whisper back, "I can't ... he's blind down there. He doesn't know what's going on." She kinda giggles and we both get a nasty look from pretty much everyone in the limo.
Old 05-14-2006, 12:49 AM
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At a strip club. I mean, I know it's a strip club, but that shit is still awkward.
Old 05-14-2006, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Minch00
At a strip club. I mean, I know it's a strip club, but that shit is still awkward.
Yeah I hear ya bro. I had a semi-stiffy from a lap dance! Too much rubbing I guess!
Old 05-14-2006, 03:32 PM
  #51  
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There was this one time I walked into the local preschool..........
Old 05-14-2006, 04:39 PM
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Originally Posted by 05TLTony
Yeah I hear ya bro. I had a semi-stiffy from a lap dance! Too much rubbing I guess!
semi? Who gave you a lapdance? your uncle frank?
Old 05-14-2006, 04:44 PM
  #53  
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on the eliptical, doing cardio at the gym... and I was wearing sweats!
Old 05-14-2006, 05:20 PM
  #54  
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Originally Posted by teg_to_bike
There was this one time I walked into the local preschool..........
We're so lucky to have R. Kelly as a member on here.
Old 05-14-2006, 08:31 PM
  #55  
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Originally Posted by nyTLer
semi? Who gave you a lapdance? your uncle frank?
No, my aunt Beaver!
Old 05-15-2006, 12:38 PM
  #56  
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Originally Posted by Minch00
At a strip club. I mean, I know it's a strip club, but that shit is still awkward.

Weak.....

That shit happens to everyone...we wanna hear something funny....embarassing....

Like when you got a stiff for Geisha and you were jerking it to her online....and then your mom walked in on you....
Old 05-15-2006, 02:31 PM
  #57  
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Originally Posted by moomaster_99
Weak.....

That shit happens to everyone...we wanna hear something funny....embarassing....

Like when you got a stiff for Geisha and you were jerking it to her online....and then your mom walked in on you....

Old 05-15-2006, 04:33 PM
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Originally Posted by moomaster_99
Weak.....

That shit happens to everyone...we wanna hear something funny....embarassing....

Like when you got a stiff for Geisha and you were jerking it to her online....and then your mom walked in on you....

I'm really sorry you have fantasies about me masturbating. Seriously.
Old 05-15-2006, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Minch00
I'm really sorry you have fantasies about me masturbating. Seriously.

I'm sorry...you're just so hot and manly....you make me :theghey:



Yeah right....not even youngtl would sleep with you.
Old 05-15-2006, 05:37 PM
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Your mom.
Old 05-15-2006, 05:42 PM
  #61  
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Originally Posted by Minch00
In your mom.


*fixed*
Old 05-15-2006, 05:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Minch00
Your mom.
Ooooh...the virgin gets some balls....

That's cool...whatever, my mom's dead.....is that the only way for you to sleep with someone?? When they're dead??? Damn Necro....
Old 05-15-2006, 05:50 PM
  #63  
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calm down children
Old 05-15-2006, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by rise
calm down children
U need a woody story to participate.
Old 05-15-2006, 06:38 PM
  #65  
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oh shit
Old 05-15-2006, 08:21 PM
  #66  
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@ page 3.
Old 05-15-2006, 08:47 PM
  #67  
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Originally Posted by moomaster_99
I'm sorry...you're just so hot and manly....you make me :theghey:



Yeah right....not even youngtl would sleep with you.
You are correct. I have MUCH higher standards and only sleep with hot guys (who also have to date me first, but I might make exceptions for exceptionally hot guys). Someone that fugly doesn't even get a first look from me. I'm glad he's not on my team.

You need to learn, moomaster, that young gay guys are NOT desperate for sex if we're decent looking. It's a joke to hook up if required. That's why the ugly ones get left out and never have sex.


And back on topic, I got wood at the gym today as I was on my way out the door and my old friend from high school rubbed up against me as he was going out the door. He plays for the University of Alberta football team
Old 05-16-2006, 12:18 AM
  #68  
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Originally Posted by youngTL
You are correct. I have MUCH higher standards and only sleep with hot guys (who also have to date me first, but I might make exceptions for exceptionally hot guys). Someone that fugly doesn't even get a first look from me. I'm glad he's not on my team.


That's the most soul crushing thing I've ever heard.
Old 05-16-2006, 12:29 AM
  #69  
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i pop random wood all the time, im just lucky enough that ive never been in a situation that'll cause me to be embarassed.
Old 05-16-2006, 02:58 AM
  #70  
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In church!!
Old 05-16-2006, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Minch00
That's the most soul crushing thing I've ever heard.
Old 05-16-2006, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by btsilver

And you're the most bandwagoneer mother fucker I've ever seen.
Old 05-16-2006, 09:45 AM
  #73  
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Originally Posted by Minch00
And you're the most bandwagoneer mother fucker I've ever seen.
That's racist yo.....
Old 05-16-2006, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Minch00
And you're the most bandwagoneer mother fucker I've ever seen.


You're a still a virgin. Pay off that purse debt yet?
Old 05-16-2006, 09:55 AM
  #75  
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Old 05-16-2006, 11:09 AM
  #76  
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Originally Posted by btsilver


You're a still a virgin. Pay off that purse debt yet?

I fail to see how being a virgin is a bad thing, but whatever. Yay, it doesn't burn when I pee and I don't have any kids. It's not like a chick has never touched my dick, head is a wonderful thing. She was drunk and it was sloppy but hey.

And yeah, my debt is paid off. Anymore questions?
Old 05-16-2006, 11:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Minch00
I fail to see how being a virgin is a bad thing, but whatever. Yay, it doesn't burn when I pee and I don't have any kids. It's not like a chick has never touched my dick, head is a wonderful thing. She was drunk and it was sloppy but hey.

And yeah, my debt is paid off. Anymore questions?
nope. Made my day.
Old 05-16-2006, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Minch00
I fail to see how being a virgin is a bad thing, but whatever. Yay, it doesn't burn when I pee and I don't have any kids. It's not like a chick has never touched my dick, head is a wonderful thing. She was drunk and it was sloppy but hey.

And yeah, my debt is paid off. Anymore questions?
Being a virgin isn't a bad thing...but let me tell you what is a bad thing.


1) Getting head from a drunk chick....and thinking it will merit points.

2) Buying a purse for a pumpkin head girl, in hopes of getting some.

3) Buying a $1200 purse.

4) Getting turned down by a hooker.

5) Working at Disney World and still not being able to hook up with chicks.

6) Whining about being a virgin.

7) Then not doing anything to make self 'more attractive' to the opposite sex.


Need I say anymore?
Old 05-16-2006, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by moomaster_99
Being a virgin isn't a bad thing...but let me tell you what is a bad thing.


1) Getting head from a drunk chick....and thinking it will merit points.

2) Buying a purse for a pumpkin head girl, in hopes of getting some.

3) Buying a $1200 purse.

4) Getting turned down by a hooker.

5) Working at Disney World and still not being able to hook up with chicks.

6) Whining about being a virgin.

7) Then not doing anything to make self 'more attractive' to the opposite sex.


Need I say anymore?

I'm sorry, but head is head. I never even tried to get a hooker, much less got turned down by one. Working at Disney with a bunch of old guys and disgusting chicks is not where I'm looking to get laid. I'm not whining about shit, YOU PEOPLE KEEP FUCKING BRINGING IT UP, and I DO work out.

So yeah, say something else.
Old 05-16-2006, 12:21 PM
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carry on.......


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