What to do about this?
10-20-2006, 04:10 PM
#41
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Carabbas is the BOMB!
anyways... just read this thread for the first time and I think you should try and keep the general feel of things the same. Every other post you made said you guys were having a blast and this girl is cool as hell just hangin out with. Try not to make it all awkward thinking of it as a "first date" together.
Have fun, get wasted, and eventually the time will come when the two of you are drunk enough to not regret it and then .........
anyways... just read this thread for the first time and I think you should try and keep the general feel of things the same. Every other post you made said you guys were having a blast and this girl is cool as hell just hangin out with. Try not to make it all awkward thinking of it as a "first date" together.
Have fun, get wasted, and eventually the time will come when the two of you are drunk enough to not regret it and then .........
10-23-2006, 07:50 AM
#42
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So dinner was amazing, she told me that im amazing and she sees her self being with me. She slept over that night, then saturday and i slept at her house last night. It was an awesome weekend. Things wernt akward at all at anytime and we are just very happy when we are around eachother. It was very werid to kiss my best friend we both had huge smiles on our faces.
10-23-2006, 08:12 AM
#44
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Originally Posted by ShavedH22CL
So dinner was amazing, she told me that im amazing and she sees her self being with me. She slept over that night, then saturday and i slept at her house last night. It was an awesome weekend. Things wernt akward at all at anytime and we are just very happy when we are around eachother. It was very werid to kiss my best friend we both had huge smiles on our faces.
10-23-2006, 08:37 AM
#45
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Originally Posted by TheMainEvEnt
ShavedH22CL: I would suggest getting a dozen of red roses
10-23-2006, 11:17 AM
#46
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Originally Posted by Astroboy
are you crazy, it's their first date. a dozen roses is way overkill, and could almost be conisdered creepy IMO.
10-23-2006, 11:45 AM
#47
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Good job. It's like roulette, trying to move your friendship beyond what it was. You can win beg, but you can walk away with nothing and it all happens very fast.
10-23-2006, 12:29 PM
#48
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Originally Posted by Astroboy
are you crazy, it's their first date. a dozen roses is way overkill, and could almost be conisdered creepy IMO.
Even though you guys have been friends for a while and had a great weekend, I would say hold off for a bit on the flowers. Make sure she doesn't have any second thoughts. In past experience, the first couple weeks of dating someone you were close friends with are pretty fragile. The thoughts about whether it's worth messing up a friendship or not, are flying around your heads, and you don't want to come off too strong.
10-23-2006, 01:36 PM
#49
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Here in lies the problem, she dosnt want a relationship. She loves our current relationship, so then i said what about what happened with us over the weekend. She says, "you are the only friend i kiss Mike" i said, "ok so whats going to happen "she says "keep doing what we have been doing, but now u know if we are in bed i want you to kiss me"
I dont have a problem with that i guess.
I dont have a problem with that i guess.
10-23-2006, 01:47 PM
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So, she wants you to do all the work of dating, and you get to make out with her, but she doesn't want a relationship? One part of me is saying SWEET!!!
But there is the other side that says that it seems like you want a relationship and you will be crushed if she says in 3 months that things are getting to serious and she needs some space. Or if she decided, since you are not in a relationship, she can see someone else. And how will she react if you date someone else....since you're NOT in a relationship.
If it were me, I would decide sooner than later if it's worth the added issues.
But there is the other side that says that it seems like you want a relationship and you will be crushed if she says in 3 months that things are getting to serious and she needs some space. Or if she decided, since you are not in a relationship, she can see someone else. And how will she react if you date someone else....since you're NOT in a relationship.
If it were me, I would decide sooner than later if it's worth the added issues.
10-23-2006, 02:01 PM
#52
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Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
So, she wants you to do all the work of dating, and you get to make out with her, but she doesn't want a relationship? One part of me is saying SWEET!!!
But there is the other side that says that it seems like you want a relationship and you will be crushed if she says in 3 months that things are getting to serious and she needs some space. Or if she decided, since you are not in a relationship, she can see someone else. And how will she react if you date someone else....since you're NOT in a relationship.
If it were me, I would decide sooner than later if it's worth the added issues.
But there is the other side that says that it seems like you want a relationship and you will be crushed if she says in 3 months that things are getting to serious and she needs some space. Or if she decided, since you are not in a relationship, she can see someone else. And how will she react if you date someone else....since you're NOT in a relationship.
If it were me, I would decide sooner than later if it's worth the added issues.
I just think since she says "I can see my self with you and if in going to be with anyone i want to be with you but i need some time right now" and the other day i say i want to move away from here and she says "well you will have a serious relationship by then" i said "really huh, and who might she be" she says "she is right under your cute little nose you just have to give her some time"
other guys/girls (yes she is a bi and i forgot to add that) have tried to date her since we have started hanging out but she comes to me. Like its just werid that she wants me and she told me she wants me but caues of things going on in her life she says she is to unstable for a serious relationship.
10-23-2006, 02:11 PM
#53
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Originally Posted by ShavedH22CL
I just think since she says "I can see my self with you and if in going to be with anyone i want to be with you but i need some time right now"
Originally Posted by guy from evil dead
"Oh, that's just we call pillow talk baby, that's all"
10-23-2006, 02:14 PM
#54
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Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
I think like you said she may be unstable. Just have fun and don't expect much until later.
See we she said this to me before we went on our date and before this weekends events, just making my head go insane, Also i have never been interested in a Bisexual before, and i didnt know about that until last night when we were in bed. She has had more girlfriends then boyfriends.
10-23-2006, 03:35 PM
#55
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Originally Posted by ShavedH22CL
See we she said this to me before we went on our date and before this weekends events, just making my head go insane, Also i have never been interested in a Bisexual before, and i didnt know about that until last night when we were in bed. She has had more girlfriends then boyfriends.
It's cool though. I had a boss that was bi, and we shared the same taste in women. It was great going to the mall for lunch and having both of us get whiplash looking at some chick walking by.
10-23-2006, 03:40 PM
#56
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Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
Most if not all the bi-sexual women or men I have ever met are all PHYSICALLY attracted to the opersite sex, but have been really hurt in the past and are EMOTIONALLY secure with the same sex. The security translates for them as attraction. I'm not saying that they are not at all physically attracted to the same sex, just that there is more of an emotional connection.
It's cool though. I had a boss that was bi, and we shared the same taste in women. It was great going to the mall for lunch and having both of us get whiplash looking at some chick walking by.
It's cool though. I had a boss that was bi, and we shared the same taste in women. It was great going to the mall for lunch and having both of us get whiplash looking at some chick walking by.
10-23-2006, 03:45 PM
#57
10-23-2006, 06:25 PM
#58
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Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
How old is she?
10-24-2006, 09:28 AM
#60
Originally Posted by ShavedH22CL
I just think since she says "I can see my self with you and if in going to be with anyone i want to be with you but i need some time right now" and the other day i say i want to move away from here and she says "well you will have a serious relationship by then" i said "really huh, and who might she be" she says "she is right under your cute little nose you just have to give her some time"
I'm sure she loves the physical and emotional attention and the flirting, but what she's telling you is that she can't truly give you much of herself right now. My advice: Listen to her. She's been quite clear. Don't get yourself all wrapped up in too much at this point cuz she isn't in the same mindset as you right now (if you're looking for a serious relationship). You will get hurt and run yourself in circles. I wouldn't drop her as a friend or as someone cool to hang out with, but don't turn down any other opportunities that may pop up either.
10-24-2006, 10:33 AM
#61
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Just remember girls that age can be extremely jealous (as evidenced by the phone calls my friend received Sat. night from a girl that age whom he'd been talking to) but just because you make her jealous doesn't mean she's gonna want a relationship all of a sudden.
10-25-2006, 08:01 AM
#62
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Come one now!!!
So last night we hung out then i went to my buddies house, i IM mer from my phone and we kept talking until i got home last night. When i get home she IM's me asking what im up to and we start talking again until about 12:30 she says she is tired and wants to go to bed so we say good night. Then not even 10 minutes later she calls me,im like "hey whats up,i thought u were going to bed"
She replies "nah i just wanted to talk to" I say about anything inparticular" she says "no just talk to you" we talk for about an hour then i decied i have to get off the phone i want to get to sleep. Mixed Signals to the fullest. She just wanted to hear me last night. It like ok u say you love me and that i am amazing and you act like you are my girl sometimes, but then other times all that seems non exsistant. What is a guy suppose to do????
She replies "nah i just wanted to talk to" I say about anything inparticular" she says "no just talk to you" we talk for about an hour then i decied i have to get off the phone i want to get to sleep. Mixed Signals to the fullest. She just wanted to hear me last night. It like ok u say you love me and that i am amazing and you act like you are my girl sometimes, but then other times all that seems non exsistant. What is a guy suppose to do????
10-25-2006, 08:09 AM
#63
Originally Posted by ShavedH22CL
So last night we hung out then i went to my buddies house, i IM mer from my phone and we kept talking until i got home last night. When i get home she IM's me asking what im up to and we start talking again until about 12:30 she says she is tired and wants to go to bed so we say good night. Then not even 10 minutes later she calls me,im like "hey whats up,i thought u were going to bed"
She replies "nah i just wanted to talk to" I say about anything inparticular" she says "no just talk to you" we talk for about an hour then i decied i have to get off the phone i want to get to sleep. Mixed Signals to the fullest. She just wanted to hear me last night. It like ok u say you love me and that i am amazing and you act like you are my girl sometimes, but then other times all that seems non exsistant. What is a guy suppose to do????
She replies "nah i just wanted to talk to" I say about anything inparticular" she says "no just talk to you" we talk for about an hour then i decied i have to get off the phone i want to get to sleep. Mixed Signals to the fullest. She just wanted to hear me last night. It like ok u say you love me and that i am amazing and you act like you are my girl sometimes, but then other times all that seems non exsistant. What is a guy suppose to do????
10-25-2006, 08:27 AM
#64
It sounds like she really likes all the attention and benefits of a relationship, but just doesn't want the commitment. Try setting some boundaries for the both of you. If she doesn't want a relationship, then don't act like a couple (which is certainly different than two people involved in a 'friendship'). Typically, friends don't kiss, sleep together, flirt, talk on the phone for hours on end into the morning, tell each other they love each other, etc. (Disclaimer: this does not apply to teenage girls who actually do spend hours on the phone) 
Seriously, if you're truly getting frustrated by it all, then sit down and set things straight. Just be open and honest about how you find it confusing and frustrating. Create boundaries. However, if you are also enjoying this type of attention and flirtation (which would be natural), then take it for what it's worth and play along.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket right now. Keep the door open to allow for other possible relationships that might come your way, unless you are willing to just play out this relationship and see where things lead, naturally.
Seriously, if you're truly getting frustrated by it all, then sit down and set things straight. Just be open and honest about how you find it confusing and frustrating. Create boundaries. However, if you are also enjoying this type of attention and flirtation (which would be natural), then take it for what it's worth and play along.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket right now. Keep the door open to allow for other possible relationships that might come your way, unless you are willing to just play out this relationship and see where things lead, naturally.
10-25-2006, 08:34 AM
#65
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Originally Posted by Street Spirit
It sounds like she really likes all the attention and benefits of a relationship, but just doesn't want the commitment. Try setting some boundaries for the both of you. If she doesn't want a relationship, then don't act like a couple (which is certainly different than two people involved in a 'friendship'). Typically, friends don't kiss, sleep together, flirt, talk on the phone for hours on end into the morning, tell each other they love each other, etc. (Disclaimer: this does not apply to teenage girls who actually do spend hours on the phone)
Seriously, if you're truly getting frustrated by it all, then sit down and set things straight. Just be open and honest about how you find it confusing and frustrating. Create boundaries. However, if you are also enjoying this type of attention and flirtation (which would be natural), then take it for what it's worth and play along.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket right now. Keep the door open to allow for other possible relationships that might come your way, unless you are willing to just play out this relationship and see where things lead, naturally.
Seriously, if you're truly getting frustrated by it all, then sit down and set things straight. Just be open and honest about how you find it confusing and frustrating. Create boundaries. However, if you are also enjoying this type of attention and flirtation (which would be natural), then take it for what it's worth and play along.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket right now. Keep the door open to allow for other possible relationships that might come your way, unless you are willing to just play out this relationship and see where things lead, naturally.
10-25-2006, 08:35 AM
#66
It sounds like she's content and getting everything she wants out of this friendship/relationship, and you're not (you want to be 'together'...she doesn't). So just sit down and figure out how you want to proceed, or my guess is you will find yourself feeling very hurt down the road.
10-25-2006, 08:48 AM
#67
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Originally Posted by Street Spirit
It sounds like she's content and getting everything she wants out of this friendship/relationship, and you're not (you want to be 'together'...she doesn't). So just sit down and figure out how you want to proceed, or my guess is you will find yourself feeling very hurt down the road.
AS3.0 i see u lurkin. i actually think you know this girl and her bro and if you dont know her you def knoew her bro he went to Hendrikin
Last edited by ShavedH22CL; 10-25-2006 at 08:52 AM.
10-25-2006, 12:30 PM
#68
10-25-2006, 01:26 PM
#69
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SS seems to have the situation summed up pretty well. She has your attention and is getting what she wants without giving anything she doesn't want. You are glad to give her what she wants, but you want more. She seems to be kind of stringing you along. This will come to a head at some point. My advice (I have been in similar situations) is to decide what you really want and what you can really live with. You need to give her some time and space to deal with her "instability" but you can't give her forever. Make yourself a little less available. I'm not suggesting you use this as a game, but make sure she know that you're not always there at the drop of a hat to take care of her every whim.
10-25-2006, 01:55 PM
#70
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Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
Sounds like some good drama brewing. Just remember she's looking out for her interest and don't get so caught up that you end up getting burned in the future.
Sounds like she's playin mind games to me and stinging you alongI'd straight out tell her you're getting mixed signals and confused, sounds like you guys already are comftorable to talk things out
10-25-2006, 02:28 PM
#71
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I told her im not going to wait for her for ever, she said i never said for u to wait for me only that i am not ready, i said are u saying i should just forget about it and she said if thats what u want but i wont forget about how i feel about u. She said she also cant picture me with someone caues she dosnt want to have to not see me caues i am with my "girlfriend" and she just woudlnt be able to deal with it, i said well that day might come. she said i know and i am scared of it.
Maybe i should just forget about it. Thats how im feeling at this point. But its just so fucked up when everything we say and do is exactly the same, we feel the same about everything going on in the world and what we want to do with our lives. We grew up in the the same places we drive the same, eat, talk, feel, laugh, everyhing, its almost wicked freaky. Actually it is wicked freaky. The only difference is she isnt ready for a relationship and that she likes milk haha. I HATE MILK hahaha
Maybe i should just forget about it. Thats how im feeling at this point. But its just so fucked up when everything we say and do is exactly the same, we feel the same about everything going on in the world and what we want to do with our lives. We grew up in the the same places we drive the same, eat, talk, feel, laugh, everyhing, its almost wicked freaky. Actually it is wicked freaky. The only difference is she isnt ready for a relationship and that she likes milk haha. I HATE MILK hahaha
Last edited by ShavedH22CL; 10-25-2006 at 02:33 PM.
10-25-2006, 02:48 PM
#72
So then take things as they come and let it pan out on its own. Don't actively pursue a relationship, but continue doing whatever you feel comfortable doing, knowing that she's not making any promises about the future. That's the only reason why I'd suggest you don't close any other doors in the meantime. 
That's the second or third time you've told us she's been quite clear about her immediate intentions, so just keep that in mind when she flirts and comes onto you. Don't mistake it for anything more. Personally, it seems like it's already driving you mad. But I can certainly understand what it's like to feel like you've finally found someone amazing! You're just in different places right now....She's getting what she wants, and you're not. Really, it seems like the ball is totally in your court, as she seems quite content with keeping things the way they are now. Is that okay with you?
That's the second or third time you've told us she's been quite clear about her immediate intentions, so just keep that in mind when she flirts and comes onto you. Don't mistake it for anything more. Personally, it seems like it's already driving you mad. But I can certainly understand what it's like to feel like you've finally found someone amazing! You're just in different places right now....She's getting what she wants, and you're not. Really, it seems like the ball is totally in your court, as she seems quite content with keeping things the way they are now. Is that okay with you?
10-25-2006, 02:51 PM
#73
Benchwarmer
Welcome to the difference between 21 and 18. When she's 21, she'll feel the same way you do now. You're going to have to semi-ignore her and see if she prefers that to the way it is now.......what the hell, you don't like milk??? Have you tried whole milk?
10-25-2006, 03:05 PM
#74
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Originally Posted by IlliNorge
Welcome to the difference between 21 and 18.
10-25-2006, 03:12 PM
#75
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This is why I don't take anyone her age seriously. Shaved you seem like u do ok with the ladies, just don't let yourself get your heart broken by an 18 year old.
10-25-2006, 03:36 PM
#77
10-25-2006, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by IlliNorge
Welcome to the difference between 21 and 18.
IMO 18 year girls are good for one or 2 things. None of them are relationships. I don't think I have read a single thread about how mature 18 year old girls are.
10-25-2006, 03:45 PM
#80
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Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
:werd;
IMO 18 year girls are good for one or 2 things. None of them are relationships. I don't think I have read a single thread about how mature 18 year old girls are.
IMO 18 year girls are good for one or 2 things. None of them are relationships. I don't think I have read a single thread about how mature 18 year old girls are.
We shoud create a " 18 year old girl expierences thread" im sure it would be a classic. haha
PS she might be moving about 28 miles from me as off about 2 hours ago. She lived about 5 miutes from be yesterday. Her mom lives in Providence and she actually just called me and said hey im up at my moms i had no idea i was coming. The she asks me to hang out when she gets back in to town around 6:30. And me being retarted as usual will go over and see her. I cant help my self when it comes to girls i am addicted, espically to this one. Plus i would like to get laid tonight hahahaha