So I get a call from a close friend who tells me that my girlfriend called him up last night (theyve been friends for a looooong time) crying telling him all this shit about me and also telling him that she found a text in my phone and she thinks Im cheating on her
I know how this all originated because we were messing around and it was my last night in miami and i wanted to say peace to everyone because i knew i wouldnt see them for a while. we were getting dressed and i told her hey im gona go hang out with the boys ight, then she broke down which got me pissed because i assumed that she would understand with it being my last night and all.
so now for the last three weeks shes been telling me that she doesnt want to be with me everytime we have a little feud, just because im not her main priority.
so basically shes making shit up now, like telling people im cheating, to break up with me, what the fuck

 

also, there was no text in my phone or on my myspace or facebook, i have no clue what the fuck she is talking about, i wouldnt cheat on her eveeeeeeeeer*

*unless it was megan fox

 

Neither you nor your gf are much lookers from your avatar.

Edit; Unless you change it right when I make my post

 

AHAHA my bad bro hahah, aww come on im a cute ass niggah dont hate

 

lol I sound like a douche in my post now.

Anyway, the good news is that you have a really good friend. He is closer to you than to her if he told you what she said. But be aware that things can get lost in translation and it is best that you hear it from her. Everyone goes through periods of bitchiness and clinginess when something is going in their mind, like if your girlfriend things you are cheating on her or whatever. If you think it is still worth it, talk it through with her once and if that doesn't work, well you'd just have to move on.

 

Thats the thing I have been reassuring her every night that shit will get better, she keeps telling me that im the one who needs to fix it. I really dont think so, while yes i do need to make most of the effort(im a nice guy i guess) i think that she needs to work with me and try to get over it

i really would love to be with her, but i think she is going wacko...for real

plus i once told her i would call her before school(her first day of college, well i had almost got arrested the night before* and was up really late with the cops so i didnt wake up in time, she told me later on that day that if something like that happened again shed have to break up with me...

 

uh... wow, If she couldn't understand you almost getting arrested, how she is going to understand something when something smaller happens in your future relationship, like now.

As the other poster said, things get lost in translation, talk to her and see what exactly is up, tell her what you have heard and see what she has to say about it. Also have you heard with you own ears that she has told people that you are cheating and this or that? Hearsay doesn't fly in a feud dude....

 

she told that she met some girl who met me at my boys house when he had some friends over and that the girl just so happened to think i was cute...now she doesnt trust me...

 

She doesn't trust you because another girl found you attractive? That's mature.

You're dealing with a girl who's making no sense. She's being irrational and taking some low blows. Whether or not there's more behind the scenes is something that can be speculated on. Alll you know is that you haven't really done anything wrong.

No matter what you do, come from a position of strength and confidence. If your relationships ends because of her recent antics, fine. You'll handle it. And you'll remain squared off and strong no matter what.

From this perspective, don't take her shit. If she doesn't start acting right quick, it's time to kick her to the curb.

Like I said, you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't cheat, you didn't hit her, you didn't smoke crack, etc.

 

Meh, naive girls piss me off. I'd drop her ass to the floor because she's being annoying and stupid.

 

Is she hot?

 

I get the feeling she thinks she holds all the cards here - threatening you with a break up. You're 19 - you don't need this. For me, I sit her down and lay out the truth, then tell her she can accept that or you're done. Then see who holds the cards. :wink:

It's great you want to be with her, but a drama queen is only going to rob you of valuable years at an age when you shouldn't have to waste time with this stuff.

 

This is exactly how I feel, and when i tell her all this all she tells me is Im not listening to her..wtfomgbbq

 

sounds like shes a spoiled little bish. she just wants attention and you have probably been providing it to her/ spoiling her/ being there all the time. its time you move on, this will not end well. ORRR you can talk to her and tell her that you both need to go out with your own firneds,seperate. its good for a couple to miss each other.

 

well its long distance, so that factor adds in and messes shit up a little bit
I was telling her last night that to make this work, trust is a super important thing, even more so than if we were to see each other every day because we cant so we just have to have trust in each other that were telling the truth.
I tell her everything, and it got me fucken pissed that she accused me of that and thats one thing i wont stand by and let myself be accused of

 

This situation is not about you and her. It is about her lack of trust, maturity, patience, objectivity, and understanding.

Long distance, in and of itself, is a burdensome weight for a relationship. When it is coupled with numerous problems it is next to impossible to maintain. You see where you are with that right?

When you tell the truth to someone, and you make them aware of where you stand, then you have done all you can. When your sig other continues to assail the peace in your relationship with ridiculous ultimatums and bouts of insecurity, then it is time to go. 19 or otherwise. No more you can do here but cause yourself more confusion and anger by trying to rationalize with an irrational person. She may have a different agenda. Time you got one too...with someone else who shares your vision and chemistry. This one doesn't.

And remember, love is not always the answer for everything. You can love someone and they not be right for you.

 

This is exactly what is happening, and for as much as it would be nice to work out, she flipped on me and all this and ive dealt with overly possesive bitches before and dont need that again

 

Fa sho' you can't be rational with an irrational person. Talk it out with her and if that fails then it's time to move on. You've already been more than accomodating with her.

 

truth. ive dealt with that shit already man... jealous girl, got accused of cheating, would start shit with any female that i talked to... i got fed up and we broke up. it was a 3 yr relationship and sure i love her, but that could only get you so far. when you find yourself being angry as much or even more than you are happy with this girl, if you feel as though youre walking on eggshells aroudn this girl, leave her.

I finally did just that i have been meeting a couple of girls here and there, nothing major, but it has put into perspective that there are manyyy girls out there who are way more compatible than what you have now. sounds like she has a guilty conscience (maybe not cheating on you, but yah know maybe shes out there flirting, and would hate to think you are doing the same thing)

In conclusion, she is not emotionally ready to factor in your feelings, and thus you should really consider starting off fresh. im sure she makes you happy and you are really comfortable with her, but it sounds like she does not have the maturity in her to maintain trust and a healthy relationship at this point in her life.

Let her go, if it is really meant to be then it will work out in the end. You've done all you could, you have no obligation to get on your knees and beg her. Without trust, there is no relationship anyway. good luck man.

 

welcome to the real world, son. my ex (the one with whom i had the text incident) pulled this shit all the time. but i loved her and had to hold on to her with all my strength. guess where that got me? nowhere. as hard as it may seem right now to let go, that's exactly what you gotta do. maybe later down the line you can both look at the situation over and give it another go, but other than that you're just gonna keep fucking each other up. it's a fucked up cycle...

 

yea, i do want to work on it, but fuck man i cant deal with someone telling me that they dont want to be with me every single mother fucking time we argue..wtf

 

On the one hand, I know from personal experience that the tiniest insecurities are magnified by distance in a relationship. It sounds like she's experiencing this now.

On the other hand, your girl is behaving unreasonably and immaturely.

She's allowed to have insecurities (within reason) - it's how she deals with them that will make or break things. It doesn't sound like she's dealing in an open, honest, mature manner. You're being honest with her, and it sounds like you're inviting dialogue. That's great, and honestly I think it's all you owe her in this situation. If she doesn't fundamentally trust you, and she's responding by talking about it with 3rd parties instead of to the one person who can help her sort things out, she's the one who has some work to do.

 

Constantly threatening to break up is manipulative and reeks of ultimatum. My way or the highway? Uh uh - you're in a partnership. I wouldn't tolerate that for a second.

 

 

My thoughs exactly...

Once you kick her ass to the curb, you will feel better. You will feel like damn, I shoud have done that a long time ago!

You were looking when you found her...remember that...you can find someone else man...

 

Agreed. That's what I had to do to get my old self back. That manipulation leaves you tired and confused. I got tired and said fuck this. Bye Bye!

 

move along

 

it sucks cause i really care for this girl, but she keeps bringing irrelavent shit up, like after i drop her off, i goto my friends house and she thinks that that is not normal

 

^Do you suppose she wishes you had included her in the rest of your evening?

 

Dude one thing you have to realize is that no matter whether it is this girl or that girl, there will always be some kind of drama. The trick is to find one that has MINIMAL or an amount you can deal with. And oh yeah, there will be plenty enough of irrelevant material to go around dawg, because it's not so much that it's really irrelevant, as it is shit that we don't care about at the time, or want to hear at the time. Doesn't blend with where "we are" you feel me?

So get your mind right young gunner for this one or the next one. Learn to pay attention to what is real, and tune out the omnipresent "white noise" in ALL of them!

 

Mutha fuckin gospel what this man speaks...

 

ditch the bitch...

 

Just try to have a conversation with her about these type of problems. Tell her that you really care for her and all that first though.

If talking to her doesn't solve the problem a bit, then just ditch her. Something's gotta be wrong with her then.

 

Lol...dude, that's where he is now with her...

 

yea so im tryin to work things out now, i just said lets drop the whole arguement and movee on, if she cant then i will basically

 

A) You're 19
B) You go to school in Gainesville
C) She lives in Miami, the capital of horny latin males

Enjoy your college freedom. You'll thank me later.

 

the breakup is coming soon, i know it, i cant give her the attention she wants and she knows it

 

good luck, i know you won't regret it. but it's gonna be hard for awhile. be ready.

 

Honestly, she's probably super insecure about you going away to school. All you heard about college towns was nothing but drinking and boning.

 

shit... i didnt really know UF was that type of school when i applied haha..
but yea plus theres some fine ass girl sitting over yonder here in the library and i know i can get it...
ahhh the joy of knowing we have the same classes so we can study together haha