I see it all too often on forums and as a relationship counselor.

"gee, should I ask her out?" "man I really like this girl but don't know what to do"

Here's a tip.

Ask her out. There is no "well maybe I should spend the next two months working up the courage to ask her out". Because quite frankly a good women being single won't last long, hell it will barely last a few weeks. Because somebody else with more balls will actually do the unthinkable and ask her out.

that is all.

<---spidey, who believes if you don't cast the lure you won't catch jack.

 

Good advice. I screwed up amany relationships before they ever happened because I was chicken shit, now I am less chicken shit and I screw up relationships because I am an idiot. But doing it this way leaves me with out regret, after all "its better to regret something you have done, then to regret something you haven't".

 

I used to be that very same way.
Now I don't care what response I get. The worst someone can say is no.
Can't live in fear of rejection. It happens to everyone sooner or later.
Just suck it up and do it.

 

It amazes me how many people need to come here and to ask if they should ask someone out. Does it really take a bunch of people telling you the same thing to help make up your mind?

 

Well... you never know... some people need someone cheering them on...

but on the other hand... they might need a shoulder incase they are turned down...

I never had the balls to go up to the girl i was crushing and ask her out... guess i was afraid of rejections... i'm admitting it because its the truth... and a lot of guys are afraid of it... even though its not clear to them, thats what it is... especially the fact that if you do ask a girl out... and she says NO!... friends will just clown on you forever... and thats what scared me... and i bet there are a lot of guys out there that have that same fear...

My addition to the thread starter's tip... GO FOR IT!!! We're here for all of you... regardless...

 

Not only asking people, but on an internet forum to boot.

 

Also, same quote from the movie Empire Records: "I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do."

 

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained...

 

Oh no.

Not another one....

 

Yeah, but sometimes my lure gets caught on an old refridgerator...any advise on that?

Really hurts when I have to yank the line...

 

You'd be surprised how many guys in this world are just scared shitless of asking girls out. Some guys get over it and some guys never do.

 

Yeah, and it's exactly those guys who are scared shitless that don't get the chicks. I mean, most women want a guy who is confident enough to ask them out. It doesn't mean that he won't be nervous when he does so (since that can be endearing), but that at least he'll take the plunge. The last thing a woman wants is a pussy of a boyfriend. And it stands to reason that if the guy can't get up the balls to ask a girl out, will he have the cajones to defend her?

I know it sounds rather old-fashioned, but it's true. I don't mean that women can't ask out guys, but I think women want guys who will take charge, not those who will be spineless.

 

Some people I know ( really good people ) who should have been married by now are not becasue they just don't have it in them to ask someone out. Whats worse is that most of the guys who have balls to ask someone out are really bad folks. I see trend way too many times. Its always the nice and decent peeps are left out.

Sad to see that the guys with balls are shit.

 

Many times that's true. I dunno, it seems that too many nice guys just think absolutely nothing of themselves and think that they have nothing to offer. Really, it's kind of the male's counterpart to the female physical self-overanalysis. We always feel inferior.

This is probably the hardest thing that I had to deal with in my own relationship. And my own lack of confidence really led me to not trust my girlfriend because I kept thinking that she would jump ship at any opportunity, when now I can clearly see that isn't the case. Fortunately I wrapped my head around the fact that she really did love me before she got tired of the whole "I don't deserve you" shtick. If anything will kill a long-term relationship, that is it, because the constant jealousy and mistrust will cause a rift. I now believe that we complement each other perfectly, and despite our individual flaws we recognize what a blessing we are to each other.

The key is being a nice guy who recognizes that he has many things to offer, without becoming an arrogant prick. I think that is something that can be achieved, but it requires good, strong character.

Unfortunately, many women see the over-confidence of some jerk and are attracted to it. But I tell you that confidence while being kind and understanding will always win out in the end with reasonable, self-respecting women. And those women are the ones who we want anyways.

 

I hardly ever see people post a topic about asking a girl out. Its always did I make the right decison about letting her go or shit like that. And for asking girls out just do it. But if your in my situation and you dont talk to very many girls. And the only girl I actually talk to is my friends sister then there is no one to ask out.

 

Here is an example:

My friend (Asian) at the gym saw this girl (Asian) last night. Hot looking one. And she was alone. With her attire, it was obvious she was trying to attract someone. My friend did not have the balls to ask her out, instead this Steven Segal look alike goes up talking to her immediately even though this Italian guy already had his GF with her. How would my friend just go up and talk to this girl? And even ask her out?

 

That's some good advice, but let me add to the part where you actually make a move. When you're ready to move in for the kill, do it with action and not with words. You're always gonna have some inexperienced idiot tell you some shit like, tell her how much you like her and ask her if she feels the same. Know where that kind of nonsense comes from? Soap operas. That kind of bullshit only works on soap operas so don't tell her that freaky shit about how much you like her and just make your move when the time is right.

 

What moves are you talking about?

 

Reference my point about somebody with balls will go up to them.

 

Very good point. You don't have to have a girl like you to ask her out. You just ask her out - that's the point of dating...getting to know somebody. If she's even remotely interested she'll give you a chance.

the way I look at it is I'm a hell of a catch. And by me chosing to ask you out you'll be flattered. If they say no, no big deal...they're not interested.

Some flirting never hurts though. I always pay attention to the tell-tale signs that they're interested.

 

Chicks love

 

That's one a lot of people have trouble with. Hell sometimes even i have trouble picking up on horribly obvious signs.

 

Ack, owned by edit limit.

The big one for me is touching. Any kind of voluntary touching on her part (other than a slap to the face or a kick to the groin) is a good sign. But they can also be far more ninja like - some chicks think they're throwing up a giant "I WANT YOUR WANG" sign by mentioning their new haircut. And sometimes they're just fishing for compliments.

 

I have a little trick I employ about when to move in for the kill. I generally look for some signs just like anyone else, but what do you do when the girl never gives you any signs? I use the old, go for it method. I flirt a little and if she's not responsive, I usually just end the date and drop her off. If the girl shows some response to flirting, I just reach for the kiss. If the girl isn't with kissing, I back off quickly and apologize like this; I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, let me take you home. I drop her off at home and never call her again, hahahahaha (beautiful). You'll be glad to know that I've never been rejected yet physically, but when I was a young, inexperienced cat, I took a verbal rejection. I gave her the old, I didn't mean to say anything offensive, let me take you home now, speech. Although I have yet to face a physical rejection, the same strategy I used on the verbal rejection is there. You walk away with so much if you use this strategy because

1) you know she wasn't into you if she wouldn't let you get busy.

2) you apologized and didn't make yourself look like one of those no means yes maniacs.

3) you take her home immediately and you never have to see her again.

This is a win win situation; you either get some action or you get rid of her forever. TLD loves this strategy!