And there's nothing you can really do about it.

My very good friend has been dating this chick on and off since early college, and he's now 31. Here's the recent timeline of their relationship:

1. She breaks up with him and moves to Tucson, he lives in Newport Beach, circa 2003.
2. He moves in with her in Tucson - ~August 2004
3. He proposes to her - ~ January 2005. She tells him she's been sleeping with her ex. He moves back to Newport Beach.
4. For all of 2005, he lives here and I talk him through (daily) his breakup and why she's not worth it to him.
5. Beginning in October 2005, she starts calling him, IMing him, etc, and I have him heartily convinced that he cannot (CANNOT) return her messages or answer her calls.
6. By December she's bugging the shit out of him but she won't stop. I'm ready to call her myself and beg her to leave him alone.
7. December 14, 2005. My last day at my old job, the last time I talked to him before leaving Virginia and moving to Cali.
8. January 3, 2006: My first day in communication with him. Somehow during these 18 days, she has convinced him to meet up with her, has slept with him, and has discovered that she's pregnant. Regardless of any of my admonitions that she may be off her rocker or *gasp* LYING about the paternity of her child, he decides to "support" her.
9. February 14, 2006: They're married at the Bellagio in Vegas. He moves back to Tucson to live with her. He quits his job and gets a new, more demanding, but more lucrative, career, so that she can stop working and stay home with the baby when it's born.
10. May 10, 2006. She has been experiencing "antenatal depression" and so she goes to see a therapist, who tells her that her relationship with my friend is obviously causing too much stress for the baby and she should immediately move away from her husband, into her mom's house.
11. June 5, 2006: He finds out she's been in California for the past two weeks (6 months pregnant, by the way), pretending to be unmarried.

By the way, her reasoning during this whole time is that she has commitment issues and doesn't feel that the "institution of marriage" is right for her. She's crazy. I know (KNOW) that baby is not his. I just know it. He says that medical technology is amazing these days and they were able to pinpoint the date of conception which happens to land during the week they were together in December.

There's so much more to this story, but I just don't have the strength to type out the details. Just, agree with me, please. He needs to lose this psycho chick.

BTW, let's say the baby really is his, and he gets a divorce. What are the chances of his getting the baby? He has a better income and better history when it comes to mental problems (she's been in and out of therapy all her life).

 

Can he get an annulment?

 

He doesn't think so, because at the time of the wedding she was in one of her "lucid" stages so there was no fraud surrounding the ceremony, and they've had sex since the ceremony, and she's also pregnant with (ostensibly) his child. Now, if the baby comes out black or something, I suppose it could be annulled, but he's so sure that it's his that he doesn't even want to get a paternity test (although he WILL be getting one).

 

Sounds to me like you've done all you can and should. Let him learn the hard way. Likely the only way he'll learn how what a cunt she is.

 

sometimes a picture is worth more than a thousand words...

 

I would think the only way that he could get the baby would be if she was proven unfit, no matter how much better the situation with the father.

 

Paternity test?

(she sounds bi-polar )

 

Some people just need to take a bite out of the ol' shit sandwich themselves to discover that it truly does taste like shit. Your friend, however, had the incredibly poor judgment to not only taste the shit sandwich, but to reproduce with it and marry it, ensuring either a permanent diet of shit sandwiches or, if nothing else, an unending shitty taste in his mouth.

There is nothing you can do except advise that he get a paternity test ASAP and, depending on the outcome, hire a lawyer. Oh, and don't ever leave any friends unsupervised for any amount of time again.

 

Dont collect advice for him. He needs to squirm.

I feel for your position, though. Sucks to stand back but ultimately youll both be better people for it.

:ibmovetod&r:

 

Oh yeah, I'm not doing anything else... just have to watch it play out, and be here for him when he needs someone to talk to. At least he's finally aware of how cracked she is, although I'm sure if she offers to come back to him he'll jump at the chance.

Everybody plays the fool sometimes.

 

Wait. She already did that.

 

had a friend who had a girl who slept around. The difference was that he also slept around. It was kinda of a 70's type of disfunctional marriage. Then the girl got pregnant and we all knew it wasn't his, which he found out on delivery day. He still went ahead and took the baby as his own.

 

what a fucking idiot. she must have some REALLY good poon. Wait what am I talking about? She HAS to have the best poon because the crazies always do!

Thats where his loyalties lie, to the vag. Trust me on this

 

What happened, come out black?

 

Disgusting - yet true!

 

Knowing that we're more or less just animals walking around on the planet trying to reproduce, etc, is there anything more pathetic than a guy raising another dude's kid when he was put into that position by some sort of trickery? I mean, most animals would kill and eat the kid.

 

Yeah - a male lion when it takes over a pride from a fallen male will kill or run off all of the younger lions.

Apparently, this get the females back to mating sooner.

We're all just animals.

 

Water-S' wife has a sister?

 

What a dumb tool. He deserves to get treated like shit.

 

I guess the camel dosn't want to drink. Let him go thirsty! Suits him fine for being so dumb! I'm sensing this guy doesn't get many chicks right?

 

Now it will get ugly (re: the divorce). She will want half of what he owns, probably support for both her and the child. I am not sure about the law, but if the child is born while they are married (and that is going to happen), even if the child is not his, he may have liabilities. Either way, he is screwed.

Make sure he gets a paternity test, please!

 

On the paternity test.

And if she was cheating, can't he convince a judge to award her nothing at the divorce hearing?

 

Hes fucked....

All he can do now is hope that he is not the father.

 

my ex wife is the only child of the family thank god.

 

as far as bi-polar. my ex was bi-polar. we've been seperated for like 3 months now. I just went to the Doctor like 2-3 weeks ago my blood pressure has went down because she's gone. it's hard to leave someone you really love. but Bi-Polar people are hell to live with. I'd come home from work she'd be in 1 of 2 modes. Mode #1. everything cool and normal #2. madder than hell. yelling raising hell about basically nothing and mega pissed off. and the worst part is she'd go from mode #1 to #2 at "the drop of the hat." so I was constantly scared out in public that even if i said the littlest thing she'd go crazy. she was on medication but 50-75% of the time she wouldn't take it. so your playing with dynamite when your dealing with a unmedicated bi-polar person.
I know you guys said get away from a bi-polar lady but I thought it would get better over time. actually it got worst because not only she hurt me when she'd go off about nothing. also i hated coming home not knowing what kind of mood she was in. all i have to say NEVER AGAIN. the house has been WAYYYYYYYYY more peaceful the last 3 months.

 

maybe she's a really cool chick and he can't get enough of her personality.

 

Some people were just born to suffer....

 

3 months