Dating & Relationships Love sucks. Now you can cry about it…

So...is this chick confused or am I?

Thread Tools
 
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:06 AM
  #1  
CiViCKiDD's Avatar
Thread Starter
gets all the crazy chicks
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 300
Likes: 0
From: Dirty Jersey
So...is this chick confused or am I?

For some reason I keep meeting the crazy chicks. Maybe it's me trying to be rational or something, I dunno..

Anyway, I went out with this one chick a few weeks ago. The date went well, we had dinner then coffee and just BS'd. It was actually kind of fun.

I think I txted her the next day saying something like "have a safe flight!" (she was going on a business trip) and she replied with "thanks" or something, and we spoke on the phone the next day. Supposedly on the business trip she was in meetings all day long and was bored, so she kept txting me. OK, I thought that was a good sign...

A few days later she tells me she thinks I'm a great guy but just got out of a long term relationship and isn't ready to date just yet. I wasn't sure if that was a polite way for her to say she wasn't interested, but I was a little confused because she kept initiating the conversations (50+ txts a day, emails, calls, etc). She wanted to stay friends though. Oh well.

I figured I'd give it another shot and asked her to help me shop for clothes, it was my not-so-slick way of meeting up with her again - we met up the following week. We shopped, went out for dinner, coffee, and then I pulled up to her place. Note I haven't kissed her up to this point, and didn't know if we were "friends" or what. She sat in my car for 15 minutes, bs'ing, kind of long for the convo we were having but whatever. Did not kiss her and she left, and called me as I was driving home.

She's been calling me multiple times a day. Like, on her way to work. At work she emails me, she calls me on her way home and before sleeping. Yesterday she called me right after she woke up (all groggy and everything). So we talk a lot.

She was in bed last night and called me, I think we were bsing for like an hour. Keep in mind I've been flirting with her most times we spoke, *hoping* to make a breakthrough. Yesterday she asked me about my past relationships, I briefly spoke about it and ended it with something like "I guess I haven't been lucky" or some crap like that. I forgot what we spoke about next, but she went back to this and said "well I know it didn't work out between us but you'll find the one one day." Considering we spoke so much I thought she was having a change of heart..after all, why else would she talk to me so much? So I said something like "well, it seems to be working out well with us"...a bit more eloquently though...I think. Brief pause...then she says "you know why I'm not dating right now...<pause>...ok I should go to sleep now." I just ended that with an "ok, goodnight" and that was that.

I'm fairly certain at this point I'm being used as an emotional pillow...and that I've wasted the last two weeks on her. Oh, and when she called me yesterday morning she told me she had a dream about snakes..and then asked me if I knew what that meant. I said I had no clue, and after asking her a few times she finally told me what it meant - that she's horny.

CiViCKiDD - gets all the crazy chicks!!!
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:18 AM
  #2  
hot_cls's Avatar
Reppin CALI 619
iTrader: (2)
 
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 109
Likes: 0
From: Sunny Daygo, Ca
watch out! she's on the rebound.
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:26 AM
  #3  
svtmike's Avatar
Team Owner
 
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 37,666
Likes: 3,864
From: Chicago
Welcome to the Crazy Chick Friend Zone. There is no escape except without her.
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:31 AM
  #4  
sasha's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 6,251
Likes: 71
From: D.istrict of C.orruption
She enjoys your company and wants to be your friend. She made it clear, man... she doesn't want a relationship.
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:34 AM
  #5  
Gnate's Avatar
Custom User Title
iTrader: (10)
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 8,360
Likes: 10
From: Los Angeles
She doesn't want a relationship... but she does want something

But really, that could get annoying to me, 50+ texts a day along with several phone calls?
I like having friends that are women, but we talk leisurely.
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:45 AM
  #6  
zguy95135's Avatar
Drifting
 
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,132
Likes: 19
From: Pleasant Hill, CA
Originally Posted by sasha
She enjoys your company and wants to be your friend. She made it clear, man... she doesn't want a relationship.
Keep hanging out if you enjoy each other's company, but its not gonna go any further then that.
Old 11-23-2008 | 12:02 PM
  #7  
CiViCKiDD's Avatar
Thread Starter
gets all the crazy chicks
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 300
Likes: 0
From: Dirty Jersey
Yeah, I get that now...guess I'm slow. What threw me off was the constant txts/calls from someone I wasn't dating, I guess for me that implied something. Oh well.

Considering I don't have much if anything to gain I'm going to have to cut down on the frequency at which we talk - if our parting words last night didn't already take care of that.
Old 11-23-2008 | 12:06 PM
  #8  
mamitaxchula's Avatar
Blanka
iTrader: (1)
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 356
Likes: 0
All of the above, she doesnt want a relationship, she's on the rebound & she told you as much. She just wants some nookie.
Old 11-23-2008 | 12:22 PM
  #9  
rondog's Avatar
Former Sponsor
iTrader: (1)
 
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 8,320
Likes: 129
From: yonkers, NY
idk, sometimes they say one thing, but are waiting for you to prove that you are more impressive than expected by spitting some clever game. I mean, up until now, you guys haven't gotten it on in any way physically. So you kinda have more work to be undone than if you met her for the first time, ya know. Next tiem you chill with her, initiate some casual hand touching or shoulder touching, and see how she reacts. Also, make some eye contact and don't say anything, when she asks you what are you doing (hopefully with a smile), tell her that you just noticed how pretty she looked. and then lean in for the kiss. Lastly, don't be so accessible, liek when she texts you, 1 out of 3 times, don't reply right away or don't reply at all. This is only if you wan to get to first base or any base for that matter. Don't feel obligated to be with a chick that just wants you for her own emotional support, because its a two way street and your going one way by not getting play.
Old 11-23-2008 | 05:29 PM
  #10  
1StGenCL's Avatar
Stage 1 Audi S5
 
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 9,835
Likes: 1,214
From: South Florida
I think Ronjon has some good points especially about the texting. Girls love to have guys they can text and call and share all their problems with and the more you answer the deeper in the friends zone you are.

I have a similar situation right now but i finally just stopped answering and just ignored her. Now she is going out of her way for me and keeps asking if I wanna see her. I say sure and she rushes over
Old 11-23-2008 | 07:41 PM
  #11  
Infamous425's Avatar
fap fap fap
 
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 4,239
Likes: 7
From: Kirkland
the snake dream is true. she wants to sex you.
Old 11-23-2008 | 08:52 PM
  #12  
phee's Avatar
I got the Shifts
iTrader: (5)
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 14,203
Likes: 230
welcome to the friend zone
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:18 PM
  #13  
BennyUnitas's Avatar
Rollin in a
 
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 666
Likes: 0
From: Queens/LI, NY
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:40 PM
  #14  
SupaRookie's Avatar
Kang Ho
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,872
Likes: 0
From: SJ, CA
Originally Posted by BennyUnitas
Old 11-23-2008 | 11:51 PM
  #15  
Papa_Sean's Avatar
Burning Brakes
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 793
Likes: 0
From: Queens, NY
Originally Posted by mamitaxchula
All of the above, she doesnt want a relationship, she's on the rebound & she told you as much. She just wants some nookie.

Sounds like she just wants you to be a little more aggressive. Go get some ass and call it a day.
Old 11-24-2008 | 01:49 PM
  #16  
97BlackAckCL's Avatar
Senior Moderator
Regional Coordinator
(Mid-Atlantic)
iTrader: (6)
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 92,261
Likes: 4,489
From: ShitsBurgh
Originally Posted by hot_cls
watch out! she's on the rebound.
you're just filling a void
Old 11-24-2008 | 02:38 PM
  #17  
IlliNorge's Avatar
Benchwarmer
 
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,017
Likes: 2
From: Illinois
Originally Posted by 97BlackAckCL
you're just filling a void
I think the problem here is he's not filling a void.
Old 11-24-2008 | 03:31 PM
  #18  
1killercls's Avatar
GEEZER
 
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 44,444
Likes: 2,227
From: Dunedin, Fla.
Bang her.
Old 11-24-2008 | 03:43 PM
  #19  
SG81's Avatar
Missing My CL-S
iTrader: (1)
 
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 11,376
Likes: 13
From: Toronto
just start kissing her. worst thing that happens is she gets mad and you 2 aren't friends anymore. then look for another chick
Old 11-24-2008 | 04:03 PM
  #20  
Gnate's Avatar
Custom User Title
iTrader: (10)
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 8,360
Likes: 10
From: Los Angeles
Originally Posted by IlliNorge
I think the problem here is he's not filling a void.
Old 11-24-2008 | 04:42 PM
  #21  
Dr. Colorado's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,771
Likes: 113
From: The 808
Just make a move already!
Old 11-24-2008 | 09:12 PM
  #22  
CiViCKiDD's Avatar
Thread Starter
gets all the crazy chicks
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 300
Likes: 0
From: Dirty Jersey
Haha..so she called yesterday. She apologized for hanging up so abruptly and I said no, my fault for saying what I said (what else what I supposed to say?). Not really caring at this point I told her I was confused by her actions, one major one being that we talk SO MUCH. I don't remember if I said anything else but that was the major one.

So here's the thing..I don't think she's looking for a lay because when we met the second time she told me she was doing some religious (or spiritual?) thing where she can't drink, have premarital sex (I assume anymore), and maybe some other stuff.

I do however agree I was chosen and placed in the "friend zone" for whatever reason. Well, I think I lost my seat in her "friend zone" because we stopped talking it seems.
Old 11-24-2008 | 09:13 PM
  #23  
Mike 350Z's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,124
Likes: 0
From: MD
Stop making yourself so "accessible," make her chase you a bit and then step up and make a move. She might not want a "relationship" but her hormones are making her want some D and that usually wins out. So make it happen!
Old 11-24-2008 | 09:16 PM
  #24  
Mike 350Z's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,124
Likes: 0
From: MD
Originally Posted by CiViCKiDD
So here's the thing..I don't think she's looking for a lay because when we met the second time she told me she was doing some religious (or spiritual?) thing where she can't drink, have premarital sex (I assume anymore), and maybe some other stuff.
Girls always say that kind of garbage, but they give into temptation pretty quickly usually. It's easier to drop a crack habit!!
Old 11-25-2008 | 05:55 AM
  #25  
MikeCLS6's Avatar
Three Wheelin'
 
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,838
Likes: 0
From: NOVA-Northern Va.
All this happened in 2 weeks? 50txts a day? phone calls and emails? your defineatly in the friends zone.
Your making yourself to available to her, and your probally starting to look needy as well, which isnt a good thing.
Old 11-25-2008 | 06:14 AM
  #26  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,115
Likes: 602
From: Landisville, PA
Sounds like a lot more work that it's worth. Move on.

First of all, she is on the rebound.

Second, she seems to want a relationship, but doesn't. By that I mean it seems like she wants you to convince her. Don't waste the time. She will probably play with you for a couple weeks and say she's not ready. Then you're in too deep.

Third, there are more available women out there. Find one with LESS issues.

Forth, the religious thing has to be respected. But to me it's a cop out.
Old 11-25-2008 | 12:46 PM
  #27  
CiViCKiDD's Avatar
Thread Starter
gets all the crazy chicks
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 300
Likes: 0
From: Dirty Jersey
Man you guys are good. Yeah, she told me she's only been in one 'long term' relationship, and that was her last one. He had to convince her really, really hard that "they" would work.

So it's definitely possible that's what she wanted. I don't know. I've moved on...

Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
Sounds like a lot more work that it's worth. Move on.

First of all, she is on the rebound.

Second, she seems to want a relationship, but doesn't. By that I mean it seems like she wants you to convince her. Don't waste the time. She will probably play with you for a couple weeks and say she's not ready. Then you're in too deep.

Third, there are more available women out there. Find one with LESS issues.

Forth, the religious thing has to be respected. But to me it's a cop out.
Old 11-25-2008 | 01:05 PM
  #28  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,115
Likes: 602
From: Landisville, PA
^^^^

Cool.

May I ask what is her age and ethnic back ground? I'm curious.
Old 11-25-2008 | 01:40 PM
  #29  
gr8ness97's Avatar
Quarterlife Crisis....
iTrader: (5)
 
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,952
Likes: 108
From: Texas
Originally Posted by BennyUnitas

Old 11-25-2008 | 01:45 PM
  #30  
amisconception's Avatar
werd
 
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 15,078
Likes: 16
On a scale of 1 to 10, how hot is she to you?
Old 11-25-2008 | 02:15 PM
  #31  
CiViCKiDD's Avatar
Thread Starter
gets all the crazy chicks
 
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 300
Likes: 0
From: Dirty Jersey
26, Indian. I'm Indian too and, honestly, I've dealt with A LOT of interesting chicks. One wanted to get married on the second date, one called me up after the first date and told me she's getting back with her ex but felt so bad she wanted to hook me up with her friend(s), one that left me hate VM's and txts because I didn't pick the phone up (we only went on 2 dates).

Man, I've got stories...
Old 11-25-2008 | 02:19 PM
  #32  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,115
Likes: 602
From: Landisville, PA
^^^^

I guess this is why I never dated Indian chicks.
Old 11-25-2008 | 02:28 PM
  #33  
Mike 350Z's Avatar
Suzuka Master
 
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,124
Likes: 0
From: MD
Date white girls, and you'll get to deal with a whole new set of crazy problems
Old 11-25-2008 | 02:31 PM
  #34  
RaviNJCLs's Avatar
Team Owner
iTrader: (4)
 
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 37,115
Likes: 602
From: Landisville, PA
Originally Posted by Mike 350Z
Date white girls, and you'll get to deal with a whole new set of crazy problems
Crazy is color blind dude.
Old 11-25-2008 | 03:35 PM
  #35  
sixsixfour's Avatar
Drifting
 
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,683
Likes: 212
From: CA
push away from the table and call it a day. two weeks with no action = friend zone. stop wasting your time waiting for something that isnt coming.
Old 11-25-2008 | 04:07 PM
  #36  
doopstr's Avatar
Team Owner
 
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 25,466
Likes: 2,226
From: Jersey
There are plenty of Indian chicks that put out. Move along.
Old 11-25-2008 | 04:15 PM
  #37  
Derk's K24's Avatar
is in Honda heaven
 
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,067
Likes: 1
From: Gainesville, VA
Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
Crazy is color blind dude.

Definitely! Just different variations.
Old 11-25-2008 | 05:56 PM
  #38  
darksom1's Avatar
~Da Nocturnal Cheetah~
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 6,798
Likes: 4
From: Germantown, MD
Plenty of text and no sex????

Look, don't be overly concerned with that bs about premarital sex and whatnot...make a move! Stop approaching it emotionally if you are not in it for that. Sometimes women just want to fuck too! They just send mixed signals, while we have arrows pointing at our dicks! MAKE A MOVE!

If she gives you the Heisman stiff-arm, then jet...because then, it's not about should you move on, but how fast!

Note: History dictates that if you have to question should you move on...then you DO have a stake in it and/or a serious point of interest...
Old 11-26-2008 | 02:07 PM
  #39  
gypsygirl's Avatar
Great. Now he's loose.
 
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,744
Likes: 28
From: Lancaster, PA
Yes, indeed. Sometimes women do just wanna fuck, and that can be a lot of fun. It's much better, though, when we really, really wanna fuck the person we love.

Maybe she is still in love with someone else, and no one but that man could fill the bill. Even for us nympho-dick-driven babes, when our hearts and our hormones are in harmony, we will not...can not move on.

I agree that you should give it an unmistakable shot. If she even bats an eye in hesitation, MOVE ON!!!!
Old 11-26-2008 | 02:15 PM
  #40  
sdevils18's Avatar
10th Gear
 
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 10
Likes: 0
From: Quantico, VA
get the hell out of there! you blew your chance sorry buddy shes not gonna stop with the friend bullshit


Quick Reply: So...is this chick confused or am I?



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:48 AM.