Signs...
05-31-2005, 04:26 PM
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Signs...
Good day all,
I am wondering if anyone has opinions on what makes for a "good sign" that a friend may be interested in something more? I ask because I find people react in one of three ways...
1) Its a go, rejoice
2) Its a no go, but they are flattered
3) Its a no go, and they stop talking to you
I will end up asking anyways because I hate thinking I may have missed a chance for a great thing, but curious if anyone has thoughts/opinions on how to read the situation???
I am wondering if anyone has opinions on what makes for a "good sign" that a friend may be interested in something more? I ask because I find people react in one of three ways...
1) Its a go, rejoice
2) Its a no go, but they are flattered
3) Its a no go, and they stop talking to you
I will end up asking anyways because I hate thinking I may have missed a chance for a great thing, but curious if anyone has thoughts/opinions on how to read the situation???
05-31-2005, 04:40 PM
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Get them drunk and try to hump them. If they aren't interested then play it off like you don't remember a damn thing the next morning.
Not that I've ever done this before
Not that I've ever done this before
05-31-2005, 04:53 PM
#3
Yeehaw
^ that works... or just ask them to do stuff with you one on one that would be more 'relationship' oriented than 'friendship'.
ask them out to dinner then go grab drinks at a quiet bar.
ask them out to dinner then go grab drinks at a quiet bar.
05-31-2005, 04:56 PM
#4
dɐɹɔ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ
Very dangerous game you are playing, I had to know and lost a great friend because of it 
If you have any doubts there are no doubts, also coming right out and saying it will probably not go over so well. Actions speak louder then words, but don't go over the top either. Try just being close to her, touch her leg or something and see if she returns the affection or turns away. If she gets weirded out just blame it on bad sushi you had at lunch or something. But if you really do value the friendship, then be careful. Because number three is no fun at all, trust me.
Woman throw some really bizarre signs and simple things can mean an awful lot. For example, a girl who is incapable of maintaining eye contact with you either has ZERO interest in you or she wants to jump you in the parking lot and rip your cloths off- same sign, completely opposite desire. Playing with hair means playful, leaving her group of friends to say "hi" is a good sign, flipping around her foot back and forth into her shoe is a type of fourplay for some woman. Introduction to her friends when your out, is a bad sign, your just a friend. Keep your eye on some of these things. I thought I had it nailed and the velvet curtains were going to part and champagne was going to fall from the heavens, but instead I lost a great friend of 6+ years- so just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!
Good luck!
If you have any doubts there are no doubts, also coming right out and saying it will probably not go over so well. Actions speak louder then words, but don't go over the top either. Try just being close to her, touch her leg or something and see if she returns the affection or turns away. If she gets weirded out just blame it on bad sushi you had at lunch or something. But if you really do value the friendship, then be careful. Because number three is no fun at all, trust me.
Woman throw some really bizarre signs and simple things can mean an awful lot. For example, a girl who is incapable of maintaining eye contact with you either has ZERO interest in you or she wants to jump you in the parking lot and rip your cloths off- same sign, completely opposite desire. Playing with hair means playful, leaving her group of friends to say "hi" is a good sign, flipping around her foot back and forth into her shoe is a type of fourplay for some woman. Introduction to her friends when your out, is a bad sign, your just a friend. Keep your eye on some of these things. I thought I had it nailed and the velvet curtains were going to part and champagne was going to fall from the heavens, but instead I lost a great friend of 6+ years- so just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!
Good luck!
05-31-2005, 05:54 PM
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True friends don't fuck true friends.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
05-31-2005, 05:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Waddy
True friends don't fuck true friends.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
05-31-2005, 06:00 PM
#7
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Tread very lightly. If you became friends while one or both of you were in another relationship, then there is a chance. If you were both single when you became friends, chances are that is the way she wants it.
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05-31-2005, 06:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Tireguy
Very dangerous game you are playing, I had to know and lost a great friend because of it
If you have any doubts there are no doubts, also coming right out and saying it will probably not go over so well. Actions speak louder then words, but don't go over the top either. Try just being close to her, touch her leg or something and see if she returns the affection or turns away. If she gets weirded out just blame it on bad sushi you had at lunch or something. But if you really do value the friendship, then be careful. Because number three is no fun at all, trust me.
Woman throw some really bizarre signs and simple things can mean an awful lot. For example, a girl who is incapable of maintaining eye contact with you either has ZERO interest in you or she wants to jump you in the parking lot and rip your cloths off- same sign, completely opposite desire. Playing with hair means playful, leaving her group of friends to say "hi" is a good sign, flipping around her foot back and forth into her shoe is a type of fourplay for some woman. Introduction to her friends when your out, is a bad sign, your just a friend. Keep your eye on some of these things. I thought I had it nailed and the velvet curtains were going to part and champagne was going to fall from the heavens, but instead I lost a great friend of 6+ years- so just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!
Good luck!
If you have any doubts there are no doubts, also coming right out and saying it will probably not go over so well. Actions speak louder then words, but don't go over the top either. Try just being close to her, touch her leg or something and see if she returns the affection or turns away. If she gets weirded out just blame it on bad sushi you had at lunch or something. But if you really do value the friendship, then be careful. Because number three is no fun at all, trust me.
Woman throw some really bizarre signs and simple things can mean an awful lot. For example, a girl who is incapable of maintaining eye contact with you either has ZERO interest in you or she wants to jump you in the parking lot and rip your cloths off- same sign, completely opposite desire. Playing with hair means playful, leaving her group of friends to say "hi" is a good sign, flipping around her foot back and forth into her shoe is a type of fourplay for some woman. Introduction to her friends when your out, is a bad sign, your just a friend. Keep your eye on some of these things. I thought I had it nailed and the velvet curtains were going to part and champagne was going to fall from the heavens, but instead I lost a great friend of 6+ years- so just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!
Good luck!
This is it...EXACTLY.
05-31-2005, 06:41 PM
#9
GEEZER
Originally Posted by Waddy
True friends don't fuck true friends.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
05-31-2005, 09:08 PM
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I guess a piece of info I neglected to include that may be rather useful is the fact that we have only been friends for a short while (i.e. Perhaps a month)....
Either way, my thought is see if she's up for a movie or something, and go from there... just is hard as hell to read because she is an outgoing person... ah well... live and learn... The way I see it, if she says yes, then great, there is *a* chance; if she says no, then I will be fine with it and say I will just invite one of my other friends... should make sure I avoid number 3.
Either way, my thought is see if she's up for a movie or something, and go from there... just is hard as hell to read because she is an outgoing person... ah well... live and learn... The way I see it, if she says yes, then great, there is *a* chance; if she says no, then I will be fine with it and say I will just invite one of my other friends... should make sure I avoid number 3.
05-31-2005, 09:26 PM
#12
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robb m.
robb m.
only a month, be like your name, and do it!
no Remorse mang.
no Remorse mang.
05-31-2005, 09:28 PM
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Dude girls are impossible read. I was friends with this girl 2 years ago she talked to me everyday and hung out with me a few times. One time she even asked me to go to a movie with her but I said no. She probally never liked me just wanted to be friends thats the hardest part I can never tell if women wanna be friends or lovers. So hard.
05-31-2005, 09:36 PM
#15
dɐɹɔ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ
Originally Posted by SRK85
Dude girls are impossible read. I was friends with this girl 2 years ago she talked to me everyday and hung out with me a few times. One time she even asked me to go to a movie with her but I said no. She probally never liked me just wanted to be friends thats the hardest part I can never tell if women wanna be friends or lovers. So hard.
05-31-2005, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by PsychoInDenial
Get them drunk and try to hump them. If they aren't interested then play it off like you don't remember a damn thing the next morning.
Not that I've ever done this before
Not that I've ever done this before
wow, i know a girl just like you, haha
05-31-2005, 10:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Waddy
True friends don't fuck true friends.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
You can fuck and then become friends, but if you are friends first and then you fuck, it will most likely end badly.
^Two creeds the Waddingo lives by.
06-01-2005, 08:02 AM
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The girl I'm dating now was a friend of mine for a little more than 2 years before we started dating. I think it makes for a better relationship. But like some of the other responce says, you should "thread lightly."
If you really like her, then you should go for it. If all you're looking for is to get laid, maybe look elsewhere if you value her friendship.
If you really like her, then you should go for it. If all you're looking for is to get laid, maybe look elsewhere if you value her friendship.
06-01-2005, 08:08 AM
#19
Originally Posted by RaviNJCLs
The girl I'm dating now was a friend of mine for a little more than 2 years before we started dating. I think it makes for a better relationship. But like some of the other responce says, you should "thread lightly."
If you really like her, then you should go for it. If all you're looking for is to get laid, maybe look elsewhere if you value her friendship.
If you really like her, then you should go for it. If all you're looking for is to get laid, maybe look elsewhere if you value her friendship.
06-01-2005, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by supermegaglossy
but what if you fuck, then become friends, but then want to fuck again (or date/pursue relationship)?
My theory on this stems from the fact that when people are friends first and then enter into a physical relationship, it taints the friendship. They will always have in the abck of their mind that the things they used to be able to do and say with their "friend" they can't anymore because now their relationship is a different animal.
However if you fucked first, and then became friends, that anxiety is not there. Because you already got the physical tension out of the way, and decided to have a friendship. Now if at some point down the line you decide that you want to give a relationship a shot you are now ahead of the game. Their is no resentment over a lost friendship, and you already know if you are compatible sexually.
06-01-2005, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by JesusJuice
At least if your close to someone for 2 years you know most of their skeletons in the closet and it makes for a less suprising relationship, instead of jumping in and learning of shit later.
06-01-2005, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by moeronn
Tread very lightly. If you became friends while one or both of you were in another relationship, then there is a chance. If you were both single when you became friends, chances are that is the way she wants it.
I am curious about this cuz i have a friend that I met and started hanging out with when I had a boyfrined. then I became single and he had a girlfriend. now we are both single, and we are being really supportive to eachother cuz we are both taking our individual breakups pretty badly. but what should I expect to happen now (btw we always used to do the harmless "play flirting" thing that we knew weould never og anywhere becuase of our own relationships) anyone got any ideas?
06-01-2005, 11:37 AM
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1) touching - any touching generally indicates interest
2) hair twirling or playing with hair - dead giveaway
3) that look in their eyes - you can just tell...their pupils get glassy/dilated.
4) revealing any intimate emotions
Better hit it quick before you fall into the friend zone...that is not a good place to be.
Here's a real easy way...just ask her on a date. "Hey, I'd like to take you out on a date...I'll pick you up at 7:00 and we'll go grab a bite and then blah, blah, blah"
If she declines so be it and never call her again. If she says 'i'll think about it' then never call her again. If she says yes, we'll then you get to see what happens.
2) hair twirling or playing with hair - dead giveaway
3) that look in their eyes - you can just tell...their pupils get glassy/dilated.
4) revealing any intimate emotions
Better hit it quick before you fall into the friend zone...that is not a good place to be.
Here's a real easy way...just ask her on a date. "Hey, I'd like to take you out on a date...I'll pick you up at 7:00 and we'll go grab a bite and then blah, blah, blah"
If she declines so be it and never call her again. If she says 'i'll think about it' then never call her again. If she says yes, we'll then you get to see what happens.
06-01-2005, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by spidey07
1) touching - any touching generally indicates interest
2) hair twirling or playing with hair - dead giveaway
3) that look in their eyes - you can just tell...their pupils get glassy/dilated.
4) revealing any intimate emotions
Better hit it quick before you fall into the friend zone...that is not a good place to be.
Here's a real easy way...just ask her on a date. "Hey, I'd like to take you out on a date...I'll pick you up at 7:00 and we'll go grab a bite and then blah, blah, blah"
If she declines so be it and never call her again. If she says 'i'll think about it' then never call her again. If she says yes, we'll then you get to see what happens.
2) hair twirling or playing with hair - dead giveaway
3) that look in their eyes - you can just tell...their pupils get glassy/dilated.
4) revealing any intimate emotions
Better hit it quick before you fall into the friend zone...that is not a good place to be.
Here's a real easy way...just ask her on a date. "Hey, I'd like to take you out on a date...I'll pick you up at 7:00 and we'll go grab a bite and then blah, blah, blah"
If she declines so be it and never call her again. If she says 'i'll think about it' then never call her again. If she says yes, we'll then you get to see what happens.
I still say getting
together 
and denying it later is a lot easier. 
Then you don't have to deal with all that talking nonsense. 
06-01-2005, 12:22 PM
#25
Team Owner
Originally Posted by Tireguy
Very dangerous game you are playing, I had to know and lost a great friend because of it
If you have any doubts there are no doubts, also coming right out and saying it will probably not go over so well. Actions speak louder then words, but don't go over the top either. Try just being close to her, touch her leg or something and see if she returns the affection or turns away. If she gets weirded out just blame it on bad sushi you had at lunch or something. But if you really do value the friendship, then be careful. Because number three is no fun at all, trust me.
Woman throw some really bizarre signs and simple things can mean an awful lot. For example, a girl who is incapable of maintaining eye contact with you either has ZERO interest in you or she wants to jump you in the parking lot and rip your cloths off- same sign, completely opposite desire. Playing with hair means playful, leaving her group of friends to say "hi" is a good sign, flipping around her foot back and forth into her shoe is a type of fourplay for some woman. Introduction to her friends when your out, is a bad sign, your just a friend. Keep your eye on some of these things. I thought I had it nailed and the velvet curtains were going to part and champagne was going to fall from the heavens, but instead I lost a great friend of 6+ years- so just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!
Good luck!
If you have any doubts there are no doubts, also coming right out and saying it will probably not go over so well. Actions speak louder then words, but don't go over the top either. Try just being close to her, touch her leg or something and see if she returns the affection or turns away. If she gets weirded out just blame it on bad sushi you had at lunch or something. But if you really do value the friendship, then be careful. Because number three is no fun at all, trust me.
Woman throw some really bizarre signs and simple things can mean an awful lot. For example, a girl who is incapable of maintaining eye contact with you either has ZERO interest in you or she wants to jump you in the parking lot and rip your cloths off- same sign, completely opposite desire. Playing with hair means playful, leaving her group of friends to say "hi" is a good sign, flipping around her foot back and forth into her shoe is a type of fourplay for some woman. Introduction to her friends when your out, is a bad sign, your just a friend. Keep your eye on some of these things. I thought I had it nailed and the velvet curtains were going to part and champagne was going to fall from the heavens, but instead I lost a great friend of 6+ years- so just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best!
Good luck!
I only tried to move a friendship into a relationship twice. The first time ended up with outcome no. 3. The second time, I married her.
06-02-2005, 12:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Waddy
If you fucked first, the chances for a healthy friendship or relationship are better, than if you were friends first and then fucked.
My theory on this stems from the fact that when people are friends first and then enter into a physical relationship, it taints the friendship. They will always have in the abck of their mind that the things they used to be able to do and say with their "friend" they can't anymore because now their relationship is a different animal.
However if you fucked first, and then became friends, that anxiety is not there. Because you already got the physical tension out of the way, and decided to have a friendship. Now if at some point down the line you decide that you want to give a relationship a shot you are now ahead of the game. Their is no resentment over a lost friendship, and you already know if you are compatible sexually.
My theory on this stems from the fact that when people are friends first and then enter into a physical relationship, it taints the friendship. They will always have in the abck of their mind that the things they used to be able to do and say with their "friend" they can't anymore because now their relationship is a different animal.
However if you fucked first, and then became friends, that anxiety is not there. Because you already got the physical tension out of the way, and decided to have a friendship. Now if at some point down the line you decide that you want to give a relationship a shot you are now ahead of the game. Their is no resentment over a lost friendship, and you already know if you are compatible sexually.
06-02-2005, 12:59 AM
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And woman say men are bad for this...
Originally Posted by spidey07
1) touching - any touching generally indicates interest
2) hair twirling or playing with hair - dead giveaway
3) that look in their eyes - you can just tell...their pupils get glassy/dilated.
4) revealing any intimate emotions
Better hit it quick before you fall into the friend zone...that is not a good place to be.
Here's a real easy way...just ask her on a date. "Hey, I'd like to take you out on a date...I'll pick you up at 7:00 and we'll go grab a bite and then blah, blah, blah"
If she declines so be it and never call her again. If she says 'i'll think about it' then never call her again. If she says yes, we'll then you get to see what happens.
2) hair twirling or playing with hair - dead giveaway
3) that look in their eyes - you can just tell...their pupils get glassy/dilated.
4) revealing any intimate emotions
Better hit it quick before you fall into the friend zone...that is not a good place to be.
Here's a real easy way...just ask her on a date. "Hey, I'd like to take you out on a date...I'll pick you up at 7:00 and we'll go grab a bite and then blah, blah, blah"
If she declines so be it and never call her again. If she says 'i'll think about it' then never call her again. If she says yes, we'll then you get to see what happens.
So we were out tonight with a bunch of other people, and when there was an opportunity to talk to her away from the group, I asked if she wanted to go out to a movie this weekend (Sat/Sun)... I get a f*&$'n "We'll have to see".... what type of damn non-answer is that? I always hear woman complaining about guys that leave them in limbo... ARG!
I know that this means there is pretty much no chance for me, so I will give it till the weekend is over for a more definitive answer and move on cause I wait for no one (Sorry, but life is too short)... but at the same time, I am rather erked by the non-answer... JUST SAY NO! Really, NO is a far better answer than "we'll see"... ah well... is it that hard??? Speak your mind!
06-02-2005, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted by PsychoInDenial
Well at least now you know and you can stop sweating it. I wouldn't even bother waiting for a response from her.
06-02-2005, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by PsychoInDenial
I still say getting together and denying it later is a lot easier. Then you don't have to deal with all that talking nonsense.
together and denying it later is a lot easier. Then you don't have to deal with all that talking nonsense. I'd have to agree with Psycho on this one. If it turns sour, just chalk it up to the alcohol. Just don't linger on that sour taste. If it goes bad, forget it and don't mention it.
If the other is a good friend, then you mentioning it or bringing it up shouldn't be a problem.
More words of wisdom from Dr. wck3
06-02-2005, 07:35 AM
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Originally Posted by jlukja
I only tried to move a friendship into a relationship twice. The first time ended up with outcome no. 3. The second time, I married her.
Frankly, with one month under your belt, it is not like you are taking a friendship measured in years onto a new tenative level. Perhaps she has always had romantic inclinations towards you but was interested or willing to move slowly, in the interests of finding out about your basic collegiality together. She may be assuming that friendly activities preceed, not preclude, a romantic inclination. If you do move into seeking a relationship with her and she freezes up, having not expected that, you are risking a friendship measured in weeks, not years................... not the end of the world
06-02-2005, 03:35 PM
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Well, I am pretty sure it's going to be a bust... on the plus side, she was still emailing me today, which at least means she isn't going to avoid me now... I can handle an outcome of option 2... still would have preferred it if everything had worked out... but I really cannot see that happening at this point... thanks for the input everyone... I will let you know of the final outcome soon enough...
06-02-2005, 09:27 PM
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Originally Posted by NoRemorse
ARG! I want to vent now... first off, minus the hair twirling, I would say all the signs were there. She'd frequently put her hand on my leg/shoulder etc when she was getting up from the table etc, flirtatious, smiled/look whatever you want to call it... etc... I would have thought my prospects were decent...
So we were out tonight with a bunch of other people, and when there was an opportunity to talk to her away from the group, I asked if she wanted to go out to a movie this weekend (Sat/Sun)... I get a f*&$'n "We'll have to see".... what type of damn non-answer is that? I always hear woman complaining about guys that leave them in limbo... ARG!
I know that this means there is pretty much no chance for me, so I will give it till the weekend is over for a more definitive answer and move on cause I wait for no one (Sorry, but life is too short)... but at the same time, I am rather erked by the non-answer... JUST SAY NO! Really, NO is a far better answer than "we'll see"... ah well... is it that hard??? Speak your mind!
So we were out tonight with a bunch of other people, and when there was an opportunity to talk to her away from the group, I asked if she wanted to go out to a movie this weekend (Sat/Sun)... I get a f*&$'n "We'll have to see".... what type of damn non-answer is that? I always hear woman complaining about guys that leave them in limbo... ARG!
I know that this means there is pretty much no chance for me, so I will give it till the weekend is over for a more definitive answer and move on cause I wait for no one (Sorry, but life is too short)... but at the same time, I am rather erked by the non-answer... JUST SAY NO! Really, NO is a far better answer than "we'll see"... ah well... is it that hard??? Speak your mind!
Better you found out now than later. Least you tried. It will happen many other times.
Trust me on this one...if a women is really interested in you she will jump at the chance of going out with you. And a date isn't that big of a deal...if she says no or blows you off, no big deal...NEXT!
But this brings up the other question. what about the ones that give off all the signs to you and are flaky? Are they really just that flaky? I mean that is the biggest immediate turn-off to me.
The woman who craves attention from lots of guys and can't get "real". I have no problem with competition because I generally win but if the woman wants to play than let her play with all the losers who are just falling over themselves to get laid for once in their life.
/end rant
<---dating again at 34.
06-02-2005, 10:03 PM
#37
dɐɹɔ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ
Originally Posted by PsychoInDenial
<~~~ looking for new dick at 24
<~~~ dating still, at 23
06-02-2005, 10:17 PM
#39
No longer in denial
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Bay Area, CA
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Originally Posted by Tireguy
Don't be bashful now, it should read <~~~ loking for new bfd at 24 I just don't want to see you find "new dick" that is inadequate- I mean what kind of waste of time would that be!
Yeah you're right. But usually BFD's don't magically appear when I request them. Athough I've been lucky lately I haven't been getting any under 6 the past couple of years... nothing as bad as the 2 incher..
06-03-2005, 06:50 AM
#40
Not THAT guy
Join Date: Oct 2004
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Originally Posted by PsychoInDenial
Yeah you're right. But usually BFD's don't magically appear when I request them. Athough I've been lucky lately I haven't been getting any under 6 the past couple of years... nothing as bad as the 2 incher..
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