Gilgamesh

Well, the girl that was a good friend to me for a long time...the one that was there for me through the breakup, the one that I wanted before I even met the other.

A move was made tonight, more by her than me...but still...

She says she is in if I am ok with a situation that is still 'up in the air' I am ok with that until there are discussions of seriousness...

Should I be worried about her 'up in the air; comment, or just roll with it and have 'the talk' when the time comes a few months down the road? She is great, and i would LOVE absolutely LOVE to be with her...play it by ear, or should I be careful since this is almost EXACTLY how the last one started?

Either way, for now...I am asbsolutely on cloud 9...

Gnite all...waiting for that good advice that the crew here gives...

Zapata

yea be cool playa.....show her you are interested but don't fawn over her until late in the game.

Jinen

Just take it one step at a time...if you guys are enjoying hanging out with each other, then just go with the flow....

obviously, you have thought about pursuing a relationship with this girl, so when the talk comes up, then you can decide if it's best to stay friends or get into a relationship...only time will tell...

as of now though, just enjoy the time with each other and let time do the trick

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

just take it slow man, going from good friends to relationship is usually hard. Never worked for me, but just see what happens, don't jump right in.

Gilgamesh

And the ex sends me a text message, right fucking on cue...her roomate was here last night and saw some of my...ahem...actions...


Do ya'll think she wants computer help again and is working up to asking it again, or has jealousy come and reared it ugly head?

moeronn

Okay, I don't know the whole story, but what is your ex-gf's roommate doing at your house? Did you want her to see your "actions" and report back to the ex?

Gilgamesh

^ No, we are all part of a large group of people that hang out, and she is really good friends with my roomate's girlfriend...so she was invited over (not by me, if I had it my way she would be none the wiser)

I absolutely did NOT want her to see anything and report back, in fact, I thought we were pretty good about keeping what we were doing under wraps for the most part, I guess she figured it out when we were out on the porch alone for a few minutes and then a few later she followed me into my room...

Other than that I did nothing in front of anyone...what we did was always in a separate room...when nobody else was around, I was very careful in doing that.

TUY3T

It's cool that things are going good between you and your new girl. Don't move to fast with this one, just relax and enjoy whatever it is you have with her right now. Don't seem too eager to make this into a serious relationship yet. You gotta make her work too if she wants to be with you.

Don't sweat about your ex. It probably makes her sad to know that you have an interest in someone else. I would suggest that you have minimal contact with your ex for a while, but still be cordial to her if you do talk to her.

matelot

so you guys done it or not ?

Gilgamesh

Well, if so:

Karma's a bitch...that's what she gets for bringing her newly rekindled ex (their hanging out again was the cause of our breakup) to the concert a week after we broke up, and then not even acknowledging me there. She can be sad all she wants, serves her right for the personal hell I went through during the last week of our relationship and the ensuing breakup.

1killercls

Rebound

spidey07

Gillgamesh,

Do you really crave this kind of drama and heartache? I mean some people do, but its generally not healthy. If you want her then kiss her, if you don't then don't.

My best friend in College was like this, always agonizing over women and wondering and analyzing out the wazoo. To this day he is 38 and lonely because he "can't find a good women", problem is he analyzes everything so much that he ruins any chance he may have had with a women.

Gilgamesh

Oh no, things with this one are going well spidey, we kissed yesterday, it went well, there were recurrences...I'm talking about the chances for anything serious. I don't want to get involved again and then get my heart broken after another 5 months, that is what I am looking to aviod here.

Killer: Rebound? Nah, that was at that concert when one of her friends was all over me all night...as for her, maybe...they had been hanging out for about a week or two before we broke things off, again that is the ONLY reason I broke things off, I wanted exclusivity, she wanted to share some wine and 'spend the night on his couch' some more (my ass) But that all depends on who you are using the rebound to refer to...He is the very same asshole that ditched her twice before...guess she is a glutton for punishment, I'm just trying to figure out why in the hell she is texting me out of nowhere.

DarkSithGirl

she is texting you b/c....even though she doesn't want you, she doesn't want anyone else to want you either!! Girls play that sh** all the time...and men do too. You shouldn't care what is reported back...it's over, it's over...move on! Are you forever going to be guarding what you do and say in case it gets back to your ex?? If you are worried about what gets back to her, then you still have feelings for her and somewhere deep down you are wanting to get back together! Otherwise, have a great time with the new chic and keep it real...just let things go...if it's meant to be, it will. Good luck!

ric

Your old girlfriend sounds like she wants to move on but she doesn't want you to, her friend/roomie sounds like she is just conveying information around more than is strictly necessary, and it sounds as if your new friend is a circumstance that can ripen nicely given time.

Sometimes, indifference is the best solution to the agitations of people who want you to think about something. You're buildling a new social life in a small and interlocked social set. If you make that your problem, I can guarantee it will become your problem, but in fact - there isn't one, save that your ex is acting pissy. Let that be her problem. While I would not haughtily ignore your ex's actions, I would not give them much air time. If she wants to text you in the sense of friendship as part of the collegial social circle that you are all in, great. If she is doing it to yank your chain, you can gently indicate to her that her chainyanking days are done, and that you are moving on, and so, obviously, has she.

Technically, you and she should both be happy that your lives are moving on. Clearly she is jealous, but just let that be her heartburn, not in any sadisic way, but because you have no real agenda in structuring your social life so that it does not hurt her feelings. She needs to grow up, you need to be less codependent, and start having fun with the friend/romantic attraction that has started up, which frankly sounds like it has more substance than your former relationship ever had (imho, but...........geez)

I'm with DarkSithGirl on this one......................... I think she nailed it. So you've got a woman's opinion and an old geezer's opinion.......................

1killercls

Good Luck!

Gilgamesh

^ sounds good all ya...thanks, that is mostly what I was thinking...just wanted to see if others had seen similar situations...I'm glad to say, a month and a half later, I'm over her...and more than happy to be with the next one.

DarkSithGirl

to get over her so quickly...wow you are one of the lucky ones....wish I was!

Gilgamesh

Well, getting the next one, or at least working on her helped...as did working out, school, and work...it was hard to keep myself motivated at first, but once I got going and also once I realized that I am only making myself feel shitty about the situation...that helped an immesurable amount.

moeronn

Sounds like you get over people before you break up with them

DarkSithGirl

big difference when you aren't really in love with someone...which looking back, I don't think I was really in love with my ex husband. I was truely in love with the man I just broke up with.