TLover

OK, we've all heard this before, but has anyone actually done it -- stayed friends with an ex? I was having a conservation about this with some friends. I don't think it's possible. I've never done it and haven't known anyone who's done it. And I'm talkng about staying friends with someone you've been in a relationship with -- not just dating or fuck buddies.

jlukja

I've never done it.

Mike_McCready

Absolutely not possible. Trust.

Especially if they are hookin up with one of your friends now

iTimmy

I've never done it and the only person I know who has tried it wants to get back with her. That being said I don't think its possible.

I've also been lucky that I NEVER run into ex's, most have moved out of the state, the few that are still around are easy to avoid and even easier to ignore if we do run into each other

dbox

i am. i think its great... all the bullshit is over!

eve

I have... but not the most recent one, we haven't talked since the break up and I have no intention to.

But yes, I stayed in touch with my exes, actually a couple.

I was engaged to one. After we decided to call it quits, we didn't talk for few years (I believe 4 or more), partly because we didn't want to and partly because both of us moved and changed phone numbers. Recently, somehow we got in touch and have been talking again, maybe once every a couple of weeks or so. We don't discuss our relationship and what could have been. Both of us moved on and made it clear to one another that any romantic relationship is out of the question. Also, we haven't seen each other since the break up...

The second one is part of my group of people/friends I hang out with. Actually, I met most of 'em after we began dating and stayed friends with 'em after our relationship ended. We dated only for few months, too short for us to get too involved. We broke up one day and next day both of us, along with other friends, went out drinking. No hard feelings. I actually met other girls he dated after me. He would even ask me what I think of 'em. I know - weird. But I can say one thing - he's a great friend.

My current relationship is slowly but surely falling apart but I think we will stay in touch as well. I think he's a better friend than a boyfriend. I guess I will find out soon.

Teh Jatt

not possible, my ex and I don't talk, it feels weird talking to her.

Yumcha

It has never worked...Not for moi at least.

Then again, I don't have f*ckbuddies either...

AS3.0CL

some yes some no. every once in a while i'll talk to my recent ex on AIM but thats it. in no way in hell do i want to see her or hang with her especially after what happened between us. my other ex's sort of faded away and if i do see them it's a hi and bye situation.

NoRemorse

It is definitally possible and she is actually my best friend now. We dated for 3 years starting in 1999 and broke up 2002 and have been good friends ever since.

I actually try to remain friends with everyone I have dated. I feel that if you were able to share so much together, why throw it all away. I talk with all of my ex's except one at this point. I think it depends on the type of person you are and the reasons for you breaking up, but it is definitally possible...

Granted, as far as I know, it is also not very common... most of my other friends have never really understood it at all and think I am crazy. That being said, I do also have two other friends that have remained friends with their ex's (one of 3 years and one of 5).

TLover

Your subsequent GFs aren't bothered by it? I think I'd have a problem with it.

Smitty

Nope, never have, never will, communicated with an Ex...

If it does not work out the first time around.. it sure as shit will not work out the second.. too much baggage... and girls love drama.

fuck buddies .... Guilty there.... but after awhile someone throws feelings and it either becomes a realtionship or someone moves on without the other.

eve

I understand your point that's why you have to be honest about it. I told my current B/F about my ex and so far he's been ok with it. I told him we're friends, we don't go out together (just the two of us), it's been a while since we dated, etc. etc. etc.

I know he stayed in touch with his exes too and I don't have a problem with that either (he told me up front) but one of 'em really bothers me. I seem to think that she's trying to get him back now... that's something I have a problem with.

NoRemorse

Yes and no. I tell them that if they cannot trust me then there is no chance that the relationship would actually work. I tell them that I am with them because that is who I want to be with and if I didn't want to be, I wouldn't (Yes, it is really that simple and no I am not being an ass). I am a very open, honest and frankly blunt person. I always tell it as it is and I hide nothing from anyone. So they are usually okay with the fact that I am friends with someone I dated. Even if they aren't okay with it, they seem to accept it. I try to make sure that they get to know one another on some level, just so that they will feel a little more comfortable with the situation, but as I said... either you trust me or you don't.

The one that I find causes more issues, is the fact that I don't have many guy friends in general. I tend not to get along with guys so well... not big in to watching sports, or being immature etc, so I find that most of my friends are women. I'd have to say roughly 80% or more. Again, I have the same logic... either you trust me or you don't, but this one is a lot harder to get around when a new relationship is starting out.

Xenogen

All my ex g\fs dont exist to me.

thatguy

i know em and call em maybe once or twice a year, but not really a friend so to speak.

te3point5

It doesn't work, one person still has feelings for the other, the other has moved on. it's just weird.

thatguy

it depends on how "mutual" the breakup is. Sometimes people can come to terms and realize that it isnt going to work period, not very often though.

Nicky Pass

Never....

The first time I saw my ex of 4 years, I wasn't like "oooooooh....aaaaaahhhhhhh, I have got to be her "friend"!" Now I don't wanna see her...don't wanna know what shes doing...I wanna delete her from my memory!

esCarbonie

^ I am stuck in that situation right now. ex of four years. it sucks.

bottom line is the answer is no. its useless

Shadzilla

Unfortunately, this is exactly the situation I'm in right now. I've been trying to remain friends withy my ex (we broke up in February), and I am "over" her, but she has expressed that she is not yet "over" me. Its become kinda akward now. Don't know how much longer we can continue doing this.

Yumcha

Not even as farkbuddies?

Nicky Pass

X marks the spot where you leave them!

TheTriads

one of my ex wanted to be friends with me after we broke up.. it's just doesn't work that way for this kid.

NSXNEXT

iTrader: (2)

If my cack has been inside them, we can no longer just be friends.

spidey07

1) men and women can't be friend
2) all my ex'es are dead to me

So...for me, that would be a big fat NO. There is simply no good reason to remain friends with an ex unless children are involved - its just not emotionally healthy for one of the ones involved.

SickAcura

I have to go along with the general consensus. Remaining friends with an ex just doesnt work for me either. But I have an exception. I dated a girl for 2 years but then her pops got a job out in California, and know way in hell is a relationship gonna work out clear across the country so we had to just break it off. Unfortunate cause she was my first love, who know's maybe I'll run into her one day.

shortwavez

im sure its possible but it would be weird

supermegaglossy

it's impossible. men and women cannot be friends unless there is some sort of sexual/physical attraction. and if there is sexual attraction, etc, then it's not really a friendship.

men and women are made so they have sexual chemistry with one another. if a guy and a girl are "friends" they either have fucked and plan to fuck again, or haven't fucked but plan to fuck in the future. there's no in between. otherwise it's only considered an acquaintance in my book.

iTimmy

I don't know if I completely agree with that. I have one very good female friend, I would consider her one of my best friends and I have not ever nor plan on ever doing anything sexual with her. She's attractive, cool and would be great GF material, but first of all she is going out with my best friend and secondly there isn't that chemistry between us as a couple. But as friends its great, I treat her like I do my guy friends, I don't hold back anything and I know she trusts me as a good friend and I know I trust her as a good friend. So in this case, it is possible.

The great part of this is I remain nuetral regarding there relationship, they both know I won't take sides and throw either of them in for any reason. Nor will I lie, if asked a direct question I am honest, they both know this so they don't put themselves in a situation that could damage there relationship. I also have a good female friend whom I have never been inside of, who knows me VERY well, the good and bad(like friend do). So when I bring a girl around I get the instant approval or "sorry she's just not right for you", with out any hidden agenda, after all she is a friend and only wants to see me be happy. I help both of them out with ideas for when things get dull.

She's not my "type" and I would never go after my best friends gf or ex gf and even if they split up we would remain friends. So men and woman can get along with out sex entering the picture, granted its very rare but can happen.

Crazy Bimmer

Im on good terms with my ex girlfriends. Wouldnt call them friends since i hardly talk to them unless im out and run into them.

My best friend is a girl and we have no problems being friends. Known since i was 13 and never were attracted to each other.

Whiskers