Have any of you ever felt pressured by a girlfriend or boyfriend to call them all the time?

My guy works out on the oil rigs, therefore, he gets lonely and needs someone to talk to. But he's started asking when I'll be home, trying to get me to promise that I'll be home so I can talk to him. He gets upset when I answer that "I don't know."

He's a very schedule keeping person and I'm not. I like to do things as they happen. I've told him how I feel about this, and he's given me a vague response saying that I should remember to call him.

Sometimes, I just need time alone and we've only been going out for a month. I don't want to talk to him EVERY day since I need my time alone. I'm an introvert by nature.

Is there any resolution to this issue? I'd like advice from people who have been there before. I'm starting to feel emotionally bullied.

 

Have him call your cell phone..... that way you can be there for him whenever, and he can reach you when he needs to. Also lets you have the flexibility to do what you want..

 

Men in general do not like talking on the phone....Gay men Im not sure about.

 

I imagine that life on an oil rig can't be that exciting. I'd probably want to talk to a bunch of people on the phone too if I were out there. Having said that, you have to communicate your issue to him early on in a nice way. If he can't dial it down a notch then that's his problem.

 

Yes, when she was in high school.

 

Is there a lot of going on among the guys on an oil rig?

 

long distance relationships dont work...specially for people who are not phone talkers....its just gonna get too much for you and your gonna break up on bad terms....

What i see happening here is that someone likes someone more than the other....

he's pressed for you...and you like him....its gonna get annoying...unless he comes back...but then he seems like the dude to always shows up at the cribo....

goodluck on yo decision...

 

My girlfriend says "call me" everytime i leave her place. She doesn't go all crazy-schitzo like your man does if I don't call for a few days.

 

It's like when my gf drives home(4+ hours) and expects me to talk to her for the entire trip. I hear the first minute and then it is like

Her: "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Me: "Call your mom or sister, I gotta go take a sh!t"

Her: "Ok, when can I call you back?"

Me: "Well, I gotta take my pants off, sit down, read the paper, wipe, shower, and get dressed so call be back in like 3 hours and 45 minutes, CLICK!"

 

I guess we're complete opposites. I can't go a day without at least talking to my boyfriend. He seems to be pretty much the same so I guess it works out. I don't know how you'd work it if both people didn't feel the same about regular contact. I hope he can understand how you feel or vice versa. Good luck

 

I depends on the person. When I lived close to my g/f we woudnt talk on the phone a lot because it was pointless and I hate the phone. Now that I've moved up to Oregon for school I try to talk once a day, whether its in the morning or at night, but without pressure to have a set time. If I miss her call, or she misses mine, not a big deal, its not like the world is ending that day.

 

My last g/f used to call me about 10 times a day. Sometimes it was ok but half of the time it would get annoying as hell. She'd get pissed when I said I had to go or if I didn't answer.

IMHO, if thats happening within a month, it will likely never stop. You'll either have to learn to deal with it, tell him how it is, or break the whole damn thing off. Tuff call.

 

To be clear, it's not like he lives out there ALL the time. It's like 2 weeks on, 1 week off.

For me, regular contact is once every couple days. I think what I'm going to do is if he calls me too often, I'll just listen to what he has to say and then say goodbye (in a nice way) afterwards. I've never met a phone talker anything like this before. Usually only girls do it.

 

He's a cling-on. These people usually dont change, its just they way they are. Im sure guys get chicks like this too. If you dont mind or you like the attention, it usually works out. If it bothers you, it will only get worse in the long term.

Is this guy very anal about other things besides just scheduling?

 

There are probably a couple of things going on....

He's obviously a chatty chap, and he may be insecure.

Is he "out"? If not, he may be looking to schedule times to talk so that he can plan a discreet window of opportunity where his conversation with you might be completely private. Even if he is open about his sexuality, he may not choose to sustain an intimate converstation with his boyfriend in an open setting.

If it is the latter, then a true respect for your relationship with him would allow you to work out a time that is mutually convenient, so he can talk freely and you can be supportive.

If he's just insecure and clingy, then that ain't gonna change any time soon. Either deal and accept, or move on.

 

It depends on the person. To this day, when I am away from my wife, we talk to each other for just a couple minutes. I think our longest conversation on the phone was about 10 minutes.

Other women I have dated have had me on the phone for at least an hour every night.

If it really bother's you and you need "time to yourself," then don't answer the phone. That's why you have voice mail. If that really bother's him then you have a drama queen on your hands.

 

Does he have access to a PC on the rig? Maybe get him to put all of his thoughts in an email or something each day and then you can reply at your leasure.

 

Only when youngTL doesn't answer the phone.

 

 

I'll try that...

 

Sounds like he's afraid that he might lose you if he's away a lot its scary, hearing from you probably makes him feel good so its not a bad thing, but he needs to understand you have a life too, I would say give in a little more for now but, do it in a way that works for you and tell him he needs adapt to your time and way in doing so a relationship is give and take 50-50 and if he doesn't realize after a while that space is needed, you really need to enforce how you feel. He's in that excited stage with you right now. In other words see if it dies down, if its only been a month he has to learn to trust you and by doing so he should come down on the need to hear from you all the time.

 

"lonely man on an oil rig" sounds like a title for a gay porn

 

i would have to say he is anal about at least one other thing...



hhaha sorry it was too good to pass up

 

Cool it with the gay jokes guys or I'll start deleting posts.

 

Thats not funny