Please Help Me ... (Long Story)
11-21-2004, 02:14 PM
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sexy ... sexy biotch
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Please Help Me ... (Long Story)
alrighty .. first off, im cuttin back on using all the "...", so ill try to make this post a tad bit neater for everyone who cares to read it.
As you can guess from the title this is about me and a girl. Me and my exgirlfriend (we broke up about less than a month ago) have been arguing forever it seems. We started dating in january and once summer hit she got a job as an RA and then has been busy with that and then busy with other things at school, and we have been arguing since summer off and on it seems. Bad argument and some ok ones.
Now i know i have not been the best boyfriend in the world and i try to be, and i know i think i was very jealous of her job cuz she would be hangin out with all these other people and i would not get to spend as much time with her as i was acustomed too. So, we always argue about how i never get to see her or about the stupidest shit you can think of, and that has not helped our situation.
Well, recently, when we talk she gets very upset cuz i interrupt her when she talks, but in my defense most of the time i interrupt her its cuz she is calling me a "jerk", "asshole", "immature", or "stupid". Or anything else around those. And that is very uncool in my book, i try soo hard not to call her names cuz i know she hates it but it seems like she can not stop herself from calling me things. I will agree that i interrupt her a lot because of the shit she says sometimes, mostly when we argue, so basically all the time heh.
So this week she has ignored me, Sun-Mon morning, i got to see her monday night, then i got to hang out with her tuesday night, and then wednesday night and no arguing any of those days. Then comes Thursday when we argued a bit and she was pissin me off cuz i was very unhappy and i hung up on her, then later on we argued more and she hung up on me cuz i was interrupting her, and then later AGAIN i hung up on her cuz she was yellin when i asked her to stop and she didnt.
So anyway, Friday night she had a formal, which i had wanted to go with her but obvisouly im not cuz we are broken up, and i really would not want to go with her the way things have been, so ya know, but im still really bummed that i cant go with her. (Oh yeah, she has been working on putting this together for the past week and she is like pulling all the weight of this one chick who is a fucking retard, so i really wanted to see how it turned out as well, ya know, trying to be there for her and shit but i cant cuz i cant go.) Yadda Yadda. She loves being in the Leadership org, they are having the formal, and she is a mentor with them, added on to being an RA. So, to continue, she loves all that stuff, but when we were together she never let me be a part of those things, like the half pieces of her life. And i would always get criticized for not supporting her with her job or her other activities, but i couldnt really feel like i could support her if she never had me involved with anything ... like hangin out in her room with her when she has some residents over or shit like that ... nothing big just small stuff.
Well friday night she went to formal, and she has been sick this whole week, cuz i was sick and i gave it to her like a while ago heh. So i have gone thru all that she is, it was like a huge ass sinus infection type of thing, sucked ass. But anyway she was not there when i was sick cuz we were arguing, but i have tried to be there for her, but she would keep complaining about her being sick and how she feels, and i was just thinkin "yeah i know, ive been there, and i had noone to talk to about it cuz you were being a bitch to me then" something along those lines. Well at formal she was relaly sick and called me during the formal cuz she was outside throwing up cuz she was really sick, and she just wanted to talk. So i was being supportive and shit.
Well then she goes to lay down up in the hotel cuz they had a room for changing. She told me she would call me when it was over. So she called me and told me she had no clue how long they would be taking everything down, well i was supposed to go to CityWalk with some friends, who i ended up shutting hte door in the their faces like twice, cuz they were pissin me off, but i was gunna out in like 5 mins, i was talkin to her on the phone when they came by to get me. Well i told her i wanted to see her when she got back if that would be ok, and she didnt know if she would be up to it, and i could understand that but i was bummed. And well i was tellin her how i was goin to citywalk and that i really wanted to see her when i got back cuz i know she was feelin like shit. But she asked if i would call her when i got back and i was like ...... yeah, i guess .... cuz i was unhappy still cuz of all the shit that has gone on. Keep in mind these past like ... 3 weeks have been the worst in my life. Cuz i really love this girl, but i cant seem to do anything right.
So she gets kinda upset that i said yeah i guess, and so she was like, fine whatever dont call me, or something like that. Then hangs up. So im like ... wtf ... so i try callin her back ... no ring - just voicemail ... heh so now im like .. ok she hung up and turned off the phone ... not unusual cuz she does it sometimes to me. ahaha. So i go outside to meet my friends -- and guess what ... no one is there. I gues that is what i get for shuttin the door on them twice in a row. (but i knew my exgirlfriend would get kinda unhappy if i was like, hey, i need to go talk to the boys for a min so hold on, Especially if i said it in the middle of her talking - going back to me interrupting her all the time) kinda sucks on my part cuz i whatever i did it would be my fault and i can deal with that, and well. Now i had no one to hang out with, and no girl to talk to on the phone. So i went to bed and tried callin her back again and this time it rang but no answer.
So i got up at 6 cuz i couldnt stop thinkin about her, and she answers and tells me that her battery died, now i can believe that ... but why would the phone ring when i call her back an hour after she hung up on me. (if this part doesnt make sense its ok, im just wondering if i should believe the battery part, i guess i will)
Then we get to talkin and im wondering why she never called me when she said she would. Turns out no one would let her leave cuz she was relaly sick, so she slept upstairs for a bit while the other people, friends of both of us, were up there eating and just hangin out for a bit. Then our friend rachel drove her home and she got home around 4, and i mean, i would have loved for her to call me just to tell me she is home and going to bed, something like that. But she said she wasnt gunna call me cuz it was 4, even tho she knows i would rather her wake me up than not call me so i am not worring about her and so on.
We get into arguing some more ... big surprise ... arguing at 6 in the morning ... now that is the way to start another SHITTY day. Well it gets to the point were she says .... "dont bother calling me anymore, or trying to get a hold of me, or anything like that" ... so then hangs up. big surpirse. And i found out that she was the formal Queen. but not by her, which is kinda upsetting that she wouldnt tell me or be happy about it, but whatever.
so she has been ignoring me since yesterday morning ... and will not tell me why like i tried to call but no answer so i left a message asking her to call me and tell me why she is ignoring me this time.
But now i just want to know ... from people with much much more dating experience than me ... this is only my second relationship, the first was only 3 months long heh ... and i really think i love this girl cuz she is everything that i would ever want and all my friends realize this. So i just want to know, Should i stick with it and try to work on things? cuz we have been trying to, so you think i would like just stay away for a while and talk to her in like a few weeks or something?? .... or should i just drop it all together and let her come to me if she feels like it?? ... i mean either way, my week can not get worse ... i know its gunne be hard to let her go and i dont want to, and she has told me before she does not want to either. So i have no clue what to do. Maybe she isnt right for me if we always argue, but we never argued int he begining .... I guess, i should just take the time away and try to find myself again??? or something like that? ... like ... find the guy that she fell in love with in the beginning??
sorry this is so long, i just really really need some advice, cuz thinking about this is just ruining me more and more. I dont think i deserve being ignored, cuz i would never ever ignore her or anyone else. But maybe i do deserve cuz i have no been a good boyfriend for the past part of us dating, i think anyway, she never said i was a bad boyfirend. But i dont know what to do ... please help me
thanks for all/any advice
and no ... im not a druggie
As you can guess from the title this is about me and a girl. Me and my exgirlfriend (we broke up about less than a month ago) have been arguing forever it seems. We started dating in january and once summer hit she got a job as an RA and then has been busy with that and then busy with other things at school, and we have been arguing since summer off and on it seems. Bad argument and some ok ones.
Now i know i have not been the best boyfriend in the world and i try to be, and i know i think i was very jealous of her job cuz she would be hangin out with all these other people and i would not get to spend as much time with her as i was acustomed too. So, we always argue about how i never get to see her or about the stupidest shit you can think of, and that has not helped our situation.
Well, recently, when we talk she gets very upset cuz i interrupt her when she talks, but in my defense most of the time i interrupt her its cuz she is calling me a "jerk", "asshole", "immature", or "stupid". Or anything else around those. And that is very uncool in my book, i try soo hard not to call her names cuz i know she hates it but it seems like she can not stop herself from calling me things. I will agree that i interrupt her a lot because of the shit she says sometimes, mostly when we argue, so basically all the time heh.
So this week she has ignored me, Sun-Mon morning, i got to see her monday night, then i got to hang out with her tuesday night, and then wednesday night and no arguing any of those days. Then comes Thursday when we argued a bit and she was pissin me off cuz i was very unhappy and i hung up on her, then later on we argued more and she hung up on me cuz i was interrupting her, and then later AGAIN i hung up on her cuz she was yellin when i asked her to stop and she didnt.
So anyway, Friday night she had a formal, which i had wanted to go with her but obvisouly im not cuz we are broken up, and i really would not want to go with her the way things have been, so ya know, but im still really bummed that i cant go with her. (Oh yeah, she has been working on putting this together for the past week and she is like pulling all the weight of this one chick who is a fucking retard, so i really wanted to see how it turned out as well, ya know, trying to be there for her and shit but i cant cuz i cant go.) Yadda Yadda. She loves being in the Leadership org, they are having the formal, and she is a mentor with them, added on to being an RA. So, to continue, she loves all that stuff, but when we were together she never let me be a part of those things, like the half pieces of her life. And i would always get criticized for not supporting her with her job or her other activities, but i couldnt really feel like i could support her if she never had me involved with anything ... like hangin out in her room with her when she has some residents over or shit like that ... nothing big just small stuff.
Well friday night she went to formal, and she has been sick this whole week, cuz i was sick and i gave it to her like a while ago heh. So i have gone thru all that she is, it was like a huge ass sinus infection type of thing, sucked ass. But anyway she was not there when i was sick cuz we were arguing, but i have tried to be there for her, but she would keep complaining about her being sick and how she feels, and i was just thinkin "yeah i know, ive been there, and i had noone to talk to about it cuz you were being a bitch to me then" something along those lines. Well at formal she was relaly sick and called me during the formal cuz she was outside throwing up cuz she was really sick, and she just wanted to talk. So i was being supportive and shit.
Well then she goes to lay down up in the hotel cuz they had a room for changing. She told me she would call me when it was over. So she called me and told me she had no clue how long they would be taking everything down, well i was supposed to go to CityWalk with some friends, who i ended up shutting hte door in the their faces like twice, cuz they were pissin me off, but i was gunna out in like 5 mins, i was talkin to her on the phone when they came by to get me. Well i told her i wanted to see her when she got back if that would be ok, and she didnt know if she would be up to it, and i could understand that but i was bummed. And well i was tellin her how i was goin to citywalk and that i really wanted to see her when i got back cuz i know she was feelin like shit. But she asked if i would call her when i got back and i was like ...... yeah, i guess .... cuz i was unhappy still cuz of all the shit that has gone on. Keep in mind these past like ... 3 weeks have been the worst in my life. Cuz i really love this girl, but i cant seem to do anything right.
So she gets kinda upset that i said yeah i guess, and so she was like, fine whatever dont call me, or something like that. Then hangs up. So im like ... wtf ... so i try callin her back ... no ring - just voicemail ... heh so now im like .. ok she hung up and turned off the phone ... not unusual cuz she does it sometimes to me. ahaha. So i go outside to meet my friends -- and guess what ... no one is there. I gues that is what i get for shuttin the door on them twice in a row. (but i knew my exgirlfriend would get kinda unhappy if i was like, hey, i need to go talk to the boys for a min so hold on, Especially if i said it in the middle of her talking - going back to me interrupting her all the time) kinda sucks on my part cuz i whatever i did it would be my fault and i can deal with that, and well. Now i had no one to hang out with, and no girl to talk to on the phone. So i went to bed and tried callin her back again and this time it rang but no answer.
So i got up at 6 cuz i couldnt stop thinkin about her, and she answers and tells me that her battery died, now i can believe that ... but why would the phone ring when i call her back an hour after she hung up on me. (if this part doesnt make sense its ok, im just wondering if i should believe the battery part, i guess i will)
Then we get to talkin and im wondering why she never called me when she said she would. Turns out no one would let her leave cuz she was relaly sick, so she slept upstairs for a bit while the other people, friends of both of us, were up there eating and just hangin out for a bit. Then our friend rachel drove her home and she got home around 4, and i mean, i would have loved for her to call me just to tell me she is home and going to bed, something like that. But she said she wasnt gunna call me cuz it was 4, even tho she knows i would rather her wake me up than not call me so i am not worring about her and so on.
We get into arguing some more ... big surprise ... arguing at 6 in the morning ... now that is the way to start another SHITTY day. Well it gets to the point were she says .... "dont bother calling me anymore, or trying to get a hold of me, or anything like that" ... so then hangs up. big surpirse. And i found out that she was the formal Queen. but not by her, which is kinda upsetting that she wouldnt tell me or be happy about it, but whatever.
so she has been ignoring me since yesterday morning ... and will not tell me why like i tried to call but no answer so i left a message asking her to call me and tell me why she is ignoring me this time.
But now i just want to know ... from people with much much more dating experience than me ... this is only my second relationship, the first was only 3 months long heh ... and i really think i love this girl cuz she is everything that i would ever want and all my friends realize this. So i just want to know, Should i stick with it and try to work on things? cuz we have been trying to, so you think i would like just stay away for a while and talk to her in like a few weeks or something?? .... or should i just drop it all together and let her come to me if she feels like it?? ... i mean either way, my week can not get worse ... i know its gunne be hard to let her go and i dont want to, and she has told me before she does not want to either. So i have no clue what to do. Maybe she isnt right for me if we always argue, but we never argued int he begining .... I guess, i should just take the time away and try to find myself again??? or something like that? ... like ... find the guy that she fell in love with in the beginning??
sorry this is so long, i just really really need some advice, cuz thinking about this is just ruining me more and more. I dont think i deserve being ignored, cuz i would never ever ignore her or anyone else. But maybe i do deserve cuz i have no been a good boyfriend for the past part of us dating, i think anyway, she never said i was a bad boyfirend. But i dont know what to do ... please help me
thanks for all/any advice
and no ... im not a druggie
11-21-2004, 02:54 PM
#3
Racer
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she's sick... feeling like shit, she's going to be moody. Personally, if I were you, I'd just try my best to "be there for her" and let her know you really care man. Don't do stupid shit and just stay mature.
11-21-2004, 03:00 PM
#5
Suzuka Master
If you really love her, give your relationship one last chance. Try to start this week with a clean slate. Don't call her names (or respond to her calling you names), don't interrupt her, be supportive of her, etc... in other words, treat her very well - as much as you would want to be treated.
If after a few 1-2 weeks she doesn't respond to the changes you are making and the relationship doesn't improve, just end it. Ending it would be hard but at least you know that won't regret it in the future because you did your best to make it work. Move on.
If after a few 1-2 weeks she doesn't respond to the changes you are making and the relationship doesn't improve, just end it. Ending it would be hard but at least you know that won't regret it in the future because you did your best to make it work. Move on.
11-21-2004, 03:43 PM
#6
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rule #1- don't ever name-call.
rule #2- don't ever hang up on someone.
rule #3- don't ignore.
you seem to have tried your best to go by these rules, but SHE HASN'T. i know you love her and whatnot, but is this a healthy relationship? is love really like that?
i agree with sasha, give it another chance, try to make it better. but if she doesn't respond to your changes in a positive light, then why are you wasting your time? you are young, and there are other girls out there who have open hearts, just waiting to love a guy too. her heart doesn't seem to be open to you right now, she seems like she's at a stage in her life where she doesn't want a boyfriend and is using every excuse she can to argue with you.... maybe in hopes to end the relationship? i don't know. but you guys definitely need a change.
rule #2- don't ever hang up on someone.
rule #3- don't ignore.
you seem to have tried your best to go by these rules, but SHE HASN'T. i know you love her and whatnot, but is this a healthy relationship? is love really like that?
i agree with sasha, give it another chance, try to make it better. but if she doesn't respond to your changes in a positive light, then why are you wasting your time? you are young, and there are other girls out there who have open hearts, just waiting to love a guy too. her heart doesn't seem to be open to you right now, she seems like she's at a stage in her life where she doesn't want a boyfriend and is using every excuse she can to argue with you.... maybe in hopes to end the relationship? i don't know. but you guys definitely need a change.
11-21-2004, 04:00 PM
#7
sexy ... sexy biotch
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i have been trying to change .. and i know im not the only one in this relationship that needs it. But a few weeks ago, after having a conversation like a month before that about how i was gunna change, we got into this arguement that i started cuz she wasnt giving me a chance ... it goes like this ...
normally she wouldnt say certain things that she would think would make me upset and then i would "blow up" over it and yell and shit (her words). well ... something like this happened, i wanted her to lay down with me for a while but she was sittin on my bed with her back on the wall and for 45 mins she kept telling me that she was comfortable there and just wanted to sit there for a few more mins. Well i am not retarded, so after the like ... 45 of that shit, she decided she was gunna go home. So then i was like, why wouldnt you lay down with me? that was all i wanted. She tell me, im not comfortable laying down with your right now, and i was not going to say that to you cuz i knew you would blow up cuz oyu always do .... and so basically she lied to me for about an hour. That really pissed me off cuz she did not even give me a chance to show her that i have been changing ... so yeah .. just had to say that about changing.
she is on duty tonight, should i not go see her and ask why she is ignoring me? ... just stay away?? ... cuz i really want to see her and find out why im being ignored. But i guess i shouldnt, right?
normally she wouldnt say certain things that she would think would make me upset and then i would "blow up" over it and yell and shit (her words). well ... something like this happened, i wanted her to lay down with me for a while but she was sittin on my bed with her back on the wall and for 45 mins she kept telling me that she was comfortable there and just wanted to sit there for a few more mins. Well i am not retarded, so after the like ... 45 of that shit, she decided she was gunna go home. So then i was like, why wouldnt you lay down with me? that was all i wanted. She tell me, im not comfortable laying down with your right now, and i was not going to say that to you cuz i knew you would blow up cuz oyu always do .... and so basically she lied to me for about an hour. That really pissed me off cuz she did not even give me a chance to show her that i have been changing ... so yeah .. just had to say that about changing.
she is on duty tonight, should i not go see her and ask why she is ignoring me? ... just stay away?? ... cuz i really want to see her and find out why im being ignored. But i guess i shouldnt, right?
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11-24-2004, 09:11 PM
#16
COME AT ME BRO!
jesus there is no way im reading all of that and didnt have to. im sure you really love this chick and all and its gunna suck for a while/ im not gunna sugar coat it for you. but move the fuck on!!!! YOUR ONLY 18!!!!! there is plenty of girls out there to get so hung up on what was once a good thing. i went threw the same shit. except we were together for 4 years!!!! time will heal you and a notha girl mos def get ur mind off of her
11-25-2004, 01:03 AM
#18
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i agree with the people telling you that you are just 18. I recently broke up too and it sucks but hey....im just finishing college and hittin law school...so much time left in my life left and obviously you are under me by a whole college career...have fun, go out, meet some new faces..its builds you in more ways than you would ever think. good luck with everything
11-25-2004, 08:19 PM
#19
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Originally Posted by thanhers
i agree with the people telling you that you are just 18. I recently broke up too and it sucks but hey....im just finishing college and hittin law school...so much time left in my life left and obviously you are under me by a whole college career...have fun, go out, meet some new faces..its builds you in more ways than you would ever think. good luck with everything
11-25-2004, 08:22 PM
#20
sexy ... sexy biotch
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Originally Posted by wipe0ut
wtf happened dweeb? did you strike out or what?
and yeah sorry for puttin all the useless info up there ... i just needed some opinions ... and yeah we are workin on it now ... we have been haning out for the past 5 days or so ... the same day i posted this ... i called her and she answered and i spent the night with her ... so everything is all good now ... ill just try my hardest to be the best i can be ... thanks everyone for your help ... and yeah i know im only 18 ... bday is dec 15 ... buy me somethin pretty ... but i really want to be with this girl and im gunna try and work on it as much as i can ... but thanks for all the input
11-26-2004, 10:06 AM
#21
If He Dies...He Dies
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Dude, from your last update. It sounds like you 2 are making progress. We all know how girls can be, young and old. They can provoke situations just as much as we can. Just don't feed into and be on point about role in the relationship.
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