The opposite sex
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I don't have a Ferrari in
Joined: May 2004
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From: Southern California
The opposite sex
Has anyone read the book "God's Debris" by Scott Adams? He is the creator of Dilbert. This book (available online free) has nothing to do with Dilbert, and he claims it to be a thought experiment. It deals largely with God and some other stuff. I post here because he said some interesting things about relationships and wanted to see how you guys feel about what he says. It is a conversation between a knowledgeable old man and a young delivery boy told from the point of view of the boy.
Personally, I think it is pretty true. Girls love to know that you'd rather hang out with them than drink with your buddies. And I'm sure guys like to know that in someway they have helped a girl with something they couldn't have done themselves.
And the last part, was in large, what caused me to post this because it reminded me of it when I was reading the Cheaters? thread. It seems that we blame the cheater (I don't think anyone mentioned that it could be reasonable while at the same time not justified) when cheating is very situational and it could be that the other person is just a bad person. Anyway, my point is that if you SO is talking to you and you believe they are cheating, whenever they hang out you would think that they are cheating on you and you react in a certain way that is suffocating them. So whether or not they are cheating, it could eventually lead to it. A vicious cycle, I tell ya. So how do you guys feel about the observation that the Dilbert guy has made?
“Women believe that men are, in a sense, defective versions of women,” he began. “Men believe that women are defective versions of men. Both genders are trapped in a delusion that their personal viewpoints are universal. That viewpoint—that each gender is a defective version of the other—is the root of all misunderstandings.”
“Women define themselves by their relationships and men define themselves by whom they are helping. Women believe value is created by sacrifice. If you are willing to give up your favorite activities to be with her, she will trust you. If being with her is too easy for you, she will not trust you. You can accomplish your sacrifices symbolically at first, by leaving work early to buy flowers, canceling your softball game to make a date, that sort of thing.”
“Men believe value is created by accomplishment, and they have objectives for the women in their lives. If a woman meets the objectives, he assumes she loves him. If she fails to meet the objectives, he will assume she does not love him. The man assumes that if the woman loved him she would have tried harder and he always believes his objectives for her are reasonable.”
“A woman needs to be told that you would sacrifice anything for her. A man needs to be told he is being useful. When the man or woman strays from that formula, the other loses trust. When trust is lost, communication falls apart.”
“Without trust, you can communicate only trivial things. If you try to communicate something important without a foundation of trust, you will be suspected of having a secret agenda. Your words will be analyzed for hidden meaning and your simple message will be clouded by suspicions.”
“Women define themselves by their relationships and men define themselves by whom they are helping. Women believe value is created by sacrifice. If you are willing to give up your favorite activities to be with her, she will trust you. If being with her is too easy for you, she will not trust you. You can accomplish your sacrifices symbolically at first, by leaving work early to buy flowers, canceling your softball game to make a date, that sort of thing.”
“Men believe value is created by accomplishment, and they have objectives for the women in their lives. If a woman meets the objectives, he assumes she loves him. If she fails to meet the objectives, he will assume she does not love him. The man assumes that if the woman loved him she would have tried harder and he always believes his objectives for her are reasonable.”
“A woman needs to be told that you would sacrifice anything for her. A man needs to be told he is being useful. When the man or woman strays from that formula, the other loses trust. When trust is lost, communication falls apart.”
“Without trust, you can communicate only trivial things. If you try to communicate something important without a foundation of trust, you will be suspected of having a secret agenda. Your words will be analyzed for hidden meaning and your simple message will be clouded by suspicions.”
And the last part, was in large, what caused me to post this because it reminded me of it when I was reading the Cheaters? thread. It seems that we blame the cheater (I don't think anyone mentioned that it could be reasonable while at the same time not justified) when cheating is very situational and it could be that the other person is just a bad person. Anyway, my point is that if you SO is talking to you and you believe they are cheating, whenever they hang out you would think that they are cheating on you and you react in a certain way that is suffocating them. So whether or not they are cheating, it could eventually lead to it. A vicious cycle, I tell ya. So how do you guys feel about the observation that the Dilbert guy has made?
Instructor
Joined: Sep 2006
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From: Central Coast Cali
Pretty good. I belive most females think in the was this Dilbert guy made. Men tend to think very liner ie: starting at point A how do I get the point C? A then to B and stop at C. Females tend to think starting at point A lets stop at point D first to see what happanes then turn around at point B then point B 1/2 finaly to point C. They like to think more than the goal but other 100 things along the way. Well this is a big generalization of the sexes IMHO. But on the most part I belive it to be true. Then again there are the few female who think like males and males think like females. So I guess I bunked my own statement... 
X spots the mark
Joined: Dec 2005
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From: Concrete jungles
Originally Posted by Bob289
Pretty good. I belive most females think in the was this Dilbert guy made. Men tend to think very liner ie: starting at point A how do I get the point C? A then to B and stop at C. Females tend to think starting at point A lets stop at point D first to see what happanes then turn around at point B then point B 1/2 finaly to point C. They like to think more than the goal but other 100 things along the way. Well this is a big generalization of the sexes IMHO. But on the most part I belive it to be true. Then again there are the few female who think like males and males think like females. So I guess I bunked my own statement...
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