NJSGTI

I've been with my girlfriend for just about 3.5 years now and things are good. At the beginning of the year we started a new gym together and would be gym buddies. After a few weeks our schedules conflicted and we couldn't go together anymore. After a few weeks my girlfriend tells me this guy keeps staring at her in the gym and then one day followed her into the parking lot and asked her out. She told him no thank and that she has a boyfriend and his response was I have a wife and kids but there are ways around it. A couple days later he followed her again and tried to make a pass at her and tried to kiss her. When she told me this I was pissed and wanted to confront the guy but she asked me not to and she could handle it. One day my girlfriend called the restaurant where he works (its a small town) to place a to go order and he ended up getting her number off of caller ID and would call her from a blocked number and even tried to call her over 5 times on Valentines Day. He has laid off in the past few weeks but the other night we went to dinner with some friends to the place where he works and he stood not too far from the table and kept staring while we were there then when we left and were driving away he came outside looking for her.

After that long story my question is would you guys confront him about this and tell him to back off? I don't want to cause trouble but its getting really annoying and I dont want it to go any further either.

CUNextTuesday

Yes. Confront him, be assertive, don't flip out.

Whiskers

Pics?

CLtotheTL32

iTrader: (3)

What a creep. Confront him.

Ken1997TL

Stalkers do what they do because they don't like confrontations.

Therefore, you confront him. It'll scare him off

TeknoKing

Erm, that's not normal. Confront him with a warning. Get your gf a gym partner, let her drag her friends with her. People that don't understand the meaning of no, are dangerous!

Acura_Dude

^This. If this isn't handled ASAP it can turn from bad to worse.

TLDude876

iTrader: (7)

How does your gf feel about you confronting him?

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Once he knows there is resistance, he will back off

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Use words, do NOT get physical

NJSGTI

Thanks for the replies. I have told my girlfriend that I wanted to confront him and let him know that she is not interested and that I want him to stop. I woud never use violence to do this and have told her that also but she said not to and she would just ignore him. Luckily she knows other people at the gym that she has explained the situation to but it still worries me because you never know what people like this are capable of. I think I will confront him anyway and talk to him about it.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Doesn't even need to be a "confrontation" just a "Hey dude, that's my girl, you mind backing off?" should hopefully suffice

miner

Just politley ask him to cease the contact with your GF and remind him about his 'family'.

1Louder

I'd respect your gf's wishes about letting her handle it, but I think a very polite reminder to they guy would also be appropriate. Your gf probably wants to handle it herself because she doesn't want some big dramatic scene or have the situation escalate, so I'd respect that. If it were me, I'd find out the name of the guys wife, and next time you have the chance (when your gf is not around) you can let him know it's time to move on, and it would be a shame if you had to discuss the phone calls and asking her out with (use her name). Using her name lets him know that you are paying attention... But I'd be nice about it - no point in making threats or anything like that. You just want him to know that you know.

Mr Marco

OP, Careful now, something doesn't smell right here.
I've had a few GF's who liked to stir shit up by exagerating situations. Why wouldn't your GF want to get this MoFo banned from the gym all together? From your side of the story it sounds like an assult. For all you know she might have led the guy on a bit. After-all your only getting her side of the story, you weren't there.
Your GF might be a sneeky little bitch behind your back, how would you know.
I think you should start following her, you know, just to keep an eye on her. Maybe pay a buddy to keep an eye on her at the gym.

Her story just doesn't add up, I think she already cheating on you. You better show her who's boss, show her you are the one in control. Make sure that bitch doesn't step out of line again.
If you have to, I say you pick her up from work one day and just keep driving. Drive into the night across state lines and take her away from all this shit...

oo7spy

Find his wife and give her info to Whiskers.


... or Mizouse.

doopstr

Pics of guy's wife?

1StGenCL

It does sound like something is missing because most women would report it to management (sure they have cameras outside too and could see this happen) and get the guy banned. If you know the guy, kindly ask him to back off but again, sounds odd.

Americandream

I agree. All she had to was tell the gym manager he was harrassing her and boom done deal. Women are very sneaky and do like attention.... Be careful what ever decision you come to... And good luck

TLDude876

iTrader: (7)

I agree something may not be right, hence my question above. However, I wouldn't jump the gun and say she is cheating without more details.

BeezleTL85

Get said wife's # and call her. It's a small town, right

sasha

I know some guys who will continue to push because the girl is not being assertive enough with her rejection. Maybe she doesn't want to be confrontational and has merely told him "no" (have you asked her exactly how she has responded to his advances?)? If I were your gf and the guy tried to follow me to the parking lot and kiss me, I would take more aggressive measures like informing the manager of the restaurant where he works and/or filing a complaint to the police.

Both of you don't know the guy and who knows what he's capable of doing. For someone who's married, he's way too creepy. I watch too much crime shows so the situation you just described would make me be really wary of him, especially since he has become more aggressive lately.

Good luck. Hope this issue gets settled soon!

Mr Marco

C'mon, work with me on this :wink:

justnspace

iTrader: (1)

Pics of girlfriend to see if she is stalker material.

Majofo

You must be intimidated by this guy. I would have dropped that fuck. Does your gf like the attention? If she's playing games, dump her. If she is legitimately being harassed, handle your business. If you want someone else to handle your business, here: http://www.floridabar.org/divcom/jn/jnjournal01.nsf/Author/27C2FD0E696250D685256ADB005D6152

oo7spy

sasha touched on a pertinent point. Women have been taken, raped, and killed faster and over less what your GF has "experienced".

Acura_Dude

CUNextTuesday

Don't hesitate to call the police if he doesn't back off, gets any weirder, or reacts badly to you confronting him. He's already crossed the line big time and you never know the extent of someone's creepiness. Take it from me, I'm a creep.

Catfisha

I had a similar situation when I was in undergrad. This creepy guy was in my video-making class, and we were talking while in the class. I got the "Creepy McCreeperson" vibe after talking to him for a few minutes. I remained civil in class hence forth but did my best to avoid him after class. One day, he followed me out to my car and tried to make conversation, but then tried to force a kiss! I pushed him off and started yelling at him, "Get the FUCK away from me you fuckin' asshole!" "Don't you EVER do that AGAIN or you'll FUCKIN' regret it..you nasty-ass muthafucka..."

Thankfully, that was the end of that, AND he dropped the class too....

But as TeknoKing said, NJSGTI, I strongly suggest that your girlfriend ALWAYS be with a group of friends; especially while walking in and out of the gym. Since this guy seems to randomly show up, she needs to alter when she goes to the gym...or anywhere for that matter... so that weirdo can't learn her daily routine and anticipate her moves...

Majofo

Mr Marco

All kidding aside,, The first step is to go to gym management and report the incident.

Rapture

So this guy follows your girlfriend all around, keeps pursuing her despite how she told him NO, grabs her and tries to kiss her, got her phone number off a caller ID and called her 5 times on Valentine's Day, and your girlfriend wants to handle it by ignoring him?

Unless your girlfriend is completely daft, then I'd be suspicious as to the legitimacy of all this. Get all the details before you do anything.

iSeeYouTwo

I couldn't agree more with Mr Marco. Sounds fishy as hell. Maybe your GF likes the attention or something, but like Majofo said -- I would've dropped his ass by now.

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

Acura_Dude

Any updates on this?

Majofo

97BlackAckCL

iTrader: (6)

YeuEmMaiMai

wow OP tell your girl to get this handled asap before she winds up in some house in cleveland for 10 years....

pimpin-tl

I agree. Gotta stand your ground to keep creeps like that away. This goes for girls too.

Catfisha is one tough lady.

mrstak

iTrader: (1)

bump? or is this some sort of sociology experiment...