rant/

After 9 years of living together and a few houses, several cars & etc, etc. Me and the girl are the splits.

I had a post back in Feb04 about her putting some Spybuddy shit on my PC...well, she kept refuting the fact...so I slowly came to believe she did not put it on there. Well, it'd been a few months...so I decided to put SpectorSoft Recorder on my NEW machine. Needless to say, I found out that she did INDEED put the spyware shit on my PC...she's been emailing some dudes at work(could be construed as harmless) back & forth for months. Not sex-talk, but close enough and damn innappropriate.

I don't believe she screwed around on me, but the lack of trust and the slippery emails from (married) co-workers...well, it's just f-d up. Get this, all of our "personal" issues...these guys at work know more about our problems than my parents do. Guys calling me a 'freeloader' and shit...I explained to her that their would be an assawoopin coming forth to the main dude spouting off. What a turd.

It ain't easy starting over at 32, but gotta get out there. Need to put my focus on me for a while & get back to the basics...clear my head, etc. Might be tight for a while...but I'm sure I'll make it work.

/rant

 

wow

that's tough man... I hope it all works out for you.

 

Good for you that you found out before getting married. Kick dat female dog to the curb.

I will bet you $50 that one day she'll say "I'm sorry" and she'll try to come back to you.

 

Yikes.

Sounds like you made the right decision. Good luck

 

Wow - 9 years, that's a long time. After being with someone for so long, I can only imagine how hard it must be to move on... It was hard for me to start a new life after 3 years but you have to stay strong and make the best out of it.

Good luck!

 

Sorry to read this.

If you don't have trust, you don't have much.

I'm sure you're making the right decision. In your story you left out her responses to the conversation, but it doesn't sound like it was favorable.

 

Good luck dude. Its never too old to start over, just be happy you never married her.

 

damn that sucks, good luck.

 

Yea, thats tough man, especially the way you found out

 

Well, when I confronted her in Feb about the spyware stuff, she flat-out denied it. Wrote this big, long-ass letter on how she'd never do such a thing and maybe it was me 'making-up' a reason to leave... What a bunch of crap.

She had little to say...I'm a very vicious talker when I am motivated appropriately...I caught her so far off guard, she had no clue what to say. She still tried to maintain her innocense for the first part of the convo...didn't last long though.

And I appreciate the kind words guys/gals. And it is a good thing I found out now...

 

If there's no denial then I'd assume your conclusions are true. That's a bummer. I hate to see someone end things after so long, but like others said, at least you are not married and there's no kids.

I'm sure it'll be tough to make a clean break and either one or both of you will try to patch things up. Re-substantiating trust though (I think) is going to be very, very tough.

Good luck to you.

 

She was lying until the very end...

Good that you had the guts to get rid of her.

 

Yes, unfortunately...

 

Are their kids in the picture? If so it may be worth trying to work it out.

If not then kudos to you. It's not easy to walk away from the comfort and routine of a long relationship. But better now than in 5 years.

 

I now her type.....dealt with it before. and Be glad you didnt marry her or have kids. And you dont have to inherit a huge mess that would have followed you.

Its going to suck at first. But at least you have your new biz to try and throw yourself into.

you are better off with out her.

 

Wow, sorry buddy.

I hope the business and diet is working out, I haven't heard in a while.

She made a big mistake.

 

I'm still working out...if anything, it'll be a motivator. I hit that dreaded plateau myself, but think I was doing too much strength training(pulled a Judge Mableann).


No kids to worry about, thank goodness, but it does make me sad that I'll be that much farther away from having some. I'd like to have a few little crazy-Chris's running around...

 

I'm hoping for the best.

 

Sucks buddy, I remember the other thread. 9 years is a long time but u don't need that shit, move on and find someone better.

 

Sorry to hear she was pulling stuff behind your back. I'm sure you'll make it through this and be better off in the long run.

I have suspicions that my gf is doing similar things (like possibly checking my e-mail) but I can't really prove anything. Trust is a huge issue in any relationship and is necessary for things to work out.

Good luck with everything.

 

Well, if she's using a program to spy on you, it's easy enough to look up.

That's how I found out in Feb. I was trying to clean up my PC and started Googling dll's in task manager. Low & Behold, I find spybuddy & eBlaster.

 

Wow sorry to hear that I'm sure you've made the right decision and I hope it works out. Stay strong

 

 

good luck

 

good luck.. it took me a year to start dating again after a 5 year relationship.. so i know how attatched you can be to someone... 9 years.. dam.......

 

ouch, good luck man, no more dead weight....sky is the limit!

 

Sorry Chris. But you are GOOD PEOPLE and you will be fine.

 

Thank you Bill. The good thing is that I've learned alot in the last few years, trying to be a better person, etc. So, the next girlie will get nothing but the good stuff...I think anyhow

 

wow. sorry dude. That sucks.

I mean you can recover from it. Hope she learns that you don't discus romantic/relationship troubles with other people...nothing good can come from it. Especially from people who like to cause misery in others lives.

You girl probably doesn't even realize it but by discussing and troubles you guys are having with guys at work is what is called any emotional affair - and they are the most dangerous kind.

 

Heh, I just read that today too. Netscape, right?

I printed it out & put it on her pillow.

 

nah, just do a search on it. It is a very predictable downward spiral that destroys homes/marriages/relationships. Doesn't even have to be any physical touching at all for the damage to be already done.

Wanna get a girl to fall in love with you? Get her to talk about her boyfriend/husband...then just subtley say "gee he doesn't respect you. I'd never do that to a woman"

BAM. She's putty in your hands and will do anything you tell her.

 

I just sent this to my ex

http://channels.netscape.com/ns/love...sp&floc=LV_1-T

 

HA! That's it.

 

Wow! Good luck dude! There are more fishes in the sea and now you can focus on yourself for once.

 

Sorry to hear about your relationship going to pot. Bright side is, like everyone else has said, better to know now rather than later when things could be more complicated. I'll be the one wuss on the board. Don't go out and bang someone to "clear your mind" of whatever is there. Take it easy, things always work out for the best. Good luck.

 

Sorry Chris, sounds like you made the right decision though. Here's to new pussy

 

hey now, don't think you're too old to start over. this could be the best thing that happened to you. you have a chance to really find what you want, not fall into a rut with a (lying) girl you've been with for 9 years. maybe you can really spark something with a great person. keep a positive outlook, and don't rush into anything just because you think time is against you. i'm sure you could find a real spring chicken if you look in the right places, and then you'll get those munchkins running around that you want.

 

Yeah, young girls (18+) like older guys b/c we are so mature. College freshmen

Look at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Nick Lache (sp?) and Jessica Simpson, Liv Tyler and ....,

 

You & Gpump are on the money I believe...need to take it easy for a while...

Thanks for the support guys/gals.

 

Damn Chris, sorry to read this. Sounds like you made the better choice. Trust is a big issue, and if she never mentioned anything about the emails it's going behind your back, and to YOUR friends, complete bullshit. I wish you the best on your road to recovery.
- Andy