I agree that he is not going to choose the path in his life by the "votes" that he would get from people here...and yes, all the cultures who have migrated to this country face the same issue...and he's just going to have to decide what's best for him, his girl, his family and her family...and as for what i mentioned previously about him "tallying" up the answer, i really meant that he should look at other sources that would give him a broader perspective...for example, if an individual were to ask this question in some indian forum, then the answer is going to be pretty biased...same concept applies here...answer is going to be biased, so it would be BEST for lister00169 to look at different sources to get a broader perspective...

 

If you don't want someone questioning your beliefs, you should be careful about what you say in a public forum.

 

question as much as you like...comment as much as you like...but understand one thing...no matter what i say or do, it will not impact you nor your decisions/beliefs...and no matter what you say or do, it will not impact my decisions/beliefs...

i'm not going to sit here and play games with you that ohh "i'm better than you are or you are better than i am"...if that's what you are after then go find someone else to talk to...

and i am careful on what i write because i don't want to sound like a hypocrite or anything of that sort...and i think you should also take some of your own advice regarding being careful about what you say in a public forum...it's easy to preach but hard to practice...

and i really don't think people want to see us going back and forth about our opinions...so you should stick to your opinion, i am not going to stop you...i respect your opinions...and i also believe you should do the same...am i sitting here trying to change who you are? NO...so then what's the problem?

lister wanted opinions and you gave yours and I gave mine...so deal with it...just cause i have a different opinion than you do, doesn't mean you have to "convince" me to follow your opinion...f*ck that...we're all different so learn to accept that and understand that...

did I even tell LISTER that "hey man, you BETTER NOT MARRY THAT PORTUGESE GIRL"...??? NOOOOOOOO...i'm not going to sit here and TELL HIM WHAT TO DO...but i will provide him my perspective...it's clearly up to him whether he wants to use it in his decisioning process...and same goes for your opinions...it's clearly up to him whether he wants to use your opinions/thoughts on this topic for his final answer...

that's why i said, let's quit the bashing each other and focus more on Lister's situation...is that too much to ask? i have accepted and respected your opinions/thoughts/beliefs, and i really feel you should do the same...

 

For someone that previously said you sure have a lot more to say. So you want to have your say, but you don't want to hear from me, I guess...Ok.

 

Originally Posted by 8-)
If you don't want someone questioning your beliefs, you should be careful about what you say in a public forum.


since i wanted to provide clarification on your comment, i needed to provide a detailed explanation…I’ve been noticing that you are having some problems in comprehending English, so I had to be more detailed…

i am not sure whether you understand the words that i am writing...you said what you had to say...i said what i had to say...when i said to drop the debate/arguement, i meant that there is no point in going back and forth because neither of us is going to change our opinions/beliefs about this topic...are you having difficulties understanding english????? i don't know how blunt i need to be with you in order for you to understand...

this isn't about you or me...it's about lister00169...he wanted opinions and he got yours and he got mine...so i'm going to drop this whole thing on this comment...you can reply if you like, but this is goign to my last response to YOU regarding this topic...


lister00169,

my apologies in having this side debate/argument with 8-)....however, please do keep us updated with this situation...

 

jinen, sorry man but its the same situation for ANY immigrant race. You dont think a portuguese immigrant family will have a fit over their daughter marrying an indian? It might even be worse.

But so what? Whats wrong is wrong, and saying that indians are somehow in a unique situation is

 

I understand English quite well, but thank you for asking! The question is whether you pay attention to what you write. It's like "I'm not arguing...here's my new argument...I'm not arguing anymore...here's my newest argument..."

Hey, sorry to waste your time, but I always appreciate the opportunity to hear how others think, as disturbing as it may be.

Don't worry about Lister, he has a good head on his shoulders and will do just fine.

 

This is YOUR life, not theirs. Just remember that. Your life happiness or theirs?




If they will be upset if you do it, they should of never moved to such a diverse country like this IMO.

 

IMO, because that's what they are around the most, or that is what they prefer. Certain ethnic groups seem to stick together and hang around others of the same ethnicity, thus making it easy to find someone of your race to marry if that is your thing. Look at all the interracial couples out there.

 

btw, I bet your dad throws every Indian girl he sees at you on your trip

 

Haha, you are so right, but my bro is going to get it worse than me. He is 32 and unmarried, so he is going to take the pressure off of me . 8-): Thanks G, appreciate it.

Jin, I totally respect what you are saying because it is true in many respects. Your thoughts are very similiar to mine, but I just want to stay more open to my options. You are quite fortunate to live in a large Indian community and are constantly in contact with fellow Indians. I live in Dublin, CA where there are next to no Indians so it's hard to meet Indian girls. I have an ass load of Indian friends and hang out with them alot, yet the Indian girls are sparce.

Well, all I can say is that I am happy with my girl and I hope things work out. If it doesn't, it was Gods way of telling me that she wasn't the one and I wasn't destined to be with her. But if things stay the way they are or get better, then I know I have found the one and I will deal with the cultural/family backlash in the most respectful way that I can. My parents have tought me to stay cool and collected in the face of adversity and that God gives me strength to do so. I know it's going to be a very interesting future for me . Thanks to all those who replied and much love everyone .

 

Yo. Lister. I'm Indian and Sikh. Arjan Jagdev Singh. Doesn't really get more sikh than that when it comes to names. I can't say that I understand your situation fully because I don't have a girlfriend, but my mom has also started on me saying that she would prefer that I marry an Indian, but she would be alright if I married a non-Indian. Somehow I know that's not the case though. Can't really offer much advice but I pretty much know how you're feeling. My mom has said that once I get a girlfriend that she'll be cool with it so I should be open about with her, but I know that once I get one things will change. I have a Sikh friend whose parents are really conservative and he was telling me that if he had a girlfriend his freedom would be gone, regardless of what race the girl was. Good luck telling your parents though. Knowing how Indian parents, and any parents for that matter, I think they'll realize that it's your happiness that is most important.

 

damn man you got it easy compared to me telling em my girl pregnant. If you love her say hell with them and date her. if they accept you they should accept her no matter if she's indian or not.

 

I know Indian women in their 30's, past their prime age to raise a family, whom are still looking for an Indian man that is the right caste, right age, that they like, educated, etc. etc. all because their parents won't accept someone from a different ethnicity. These are extremelly atractive women, with PhD's, doctors, etc. very bright, stuck alone due to old traditions and the fact there are simply not enough Indian men in SD to be so picky.

I highly recommend you don't get stuck in tradition and simply stay with someone you love, regardless of where they are from, religion, etc. You'll screw your life trying to find the one your parents like, and you'll will never be happy.

I also know a couple asian women from Taiwan and Vietnam whom are also stuck looking for the perfect asian guy...

 

Well, I "sorta" dated an Indian girl, and when we happened to have run into her mom in the mall, boy, did I get the coldest look ever. I mean it wasn't anything serious, but DAMN.

Oh well, my parents better be cool with different races, because when I bring over some spanish chick for the first time, and they talk to me about it the next day, I'm just gonna be like "I heart me some mother fucking culo dammit, get off my back"

For future reference, I'm as white as white can be, Mom from Kentucky, Dad from Texas....

 

love is blind and race doesn't mean anything in the long run

the only reason you usually see people matching up races is because of similar backgrounds/experiences, but that doesn't mean that works for everyone