Miss iVTEC

OK the Netami Girls will have to ignore this...it's about the drama they know I've been going through since February.

In a nutshell, I was with this guy for 4 years..he suddenly dumps me saying he doesn't want to be with me right now and he just wants to focus on his business. I'm devastated, and go through about 3 months of total hell. I start to recover and I actually was planning on going on a date. He finds out about this, and says he wants to be together again.

We get back together, nothing has changed, we break up. We've been doing this ever since. Recently he said he's ready to commit and get serious, but when I sit down and start talking to him about it he wigs out again and starts making excuses. WTF?! It's like he doesn't want me, but he doesn't want anyone else to have me either. This has been VERY hard on me all year long and I'm emotionally drained from all of this.

If any of you guys can give me some insight I would really appreciate it.

BEETROOT

sounds like you aren't happy, and hes playing games.

time to move on.

YuppieCL

the man has commitment issues... as well as letting-go issues.
time for u to decide if this is all worth your bother...

Bulldog01

Oooofff!! People suck!!

How old is he? What kinda business does he have? Has he had long-term relationships in the past?

Perhaps he wants to settle down and commit, but he's afraid when it actually comes to doing it. My first g/f after my divorce could have been the one, so I thought. I began to think that I might be ready to talk about a real future with her, but then something would always make me think more about it, just to be sure that I wasn't making the same mistake. I'm not sure what it was, although I suspect I know now what it might have been (another story for another time). At any rate, after thinking A LOT, I started to doubt if I wanted to settle down with her, wondering whether she was the one. It turns out she wasn't the one. She ripped my heart out and stomped it to bits in front of me, saying she didn't want a boyfriend. Well, she was right in one respect. She wanted a husband. Because I wasn't ready to get married, she went and started seeing this guy with whom she used to work, and they were married this August (about 6 months after she broke up with me). And, I'm much better off for not rushing into it. She asked me to marry her a couple months into it...yikes!! Of course, I have "new" issues now, but, again, another story for another place.

I guess the point of this nonsensical babble is that he obviously has something keeping him from committing to you. If you want, you can ask him about it. If he gives you what you think is lip service, kick that ungrateful douche bag to the curb. He should know better than to treat a girl (who works on cars) like that. You deserve better, no? You also have, hopefully, a long life ahead of you. Enjoy it...for yourself.

Sorry for this reply sucking so much, but I'm not as good at this as I was earlier in the year.

BEETROOT

if his business makes tons of $$ and you get some maybe its worth it to stick around though...

gdubb

Beetroot and Yuppie have my opinion. He for sure has commitment issues and ask yourself this "Are you happy". If not move on dont look back because you will never be happy.

Doc.Booty

This deserves a big fat NEXT.

Forget about this douchebag. Things aren't right now, and after time apart they still aren't. Time to move on.

ch1276

i have to agree with most of the above, sounds like you are not very happy and you just need to make the decision to move on with your life....seems as if he is just going to be an endless circle of commitment issues for you

juniorbean

iTrader: (5)

I'll have to agree with the masses as well. If he wanted to get married or be in a serious committed relationship you'd still be together. The guy is totally playing you..... he's basically trying to have his cake and eat it too by not being with you but then when you're ready to date someone else, getting back with you.

IMO you just need to move on to the next guy. If he really loved you he would be considerate of your feelings, which it sounds like he's not doing. You don't need that, so go find someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated and send him packing with his tail between his legs....

swclown

commitment commitment commitment

guys have a HARD time with this and some girls too, but if he were the right one and you were the right one, i think you'd already know it
hang in there (-:

geez before my ex and i started dating, i had stopped dating completely cold turkey for TWO years --








now i know why

SilviaGTO

well, i know her and her b.f personally and I think (and shes heard this from me and the other girls, weve tried everything to get her to move on) she deserves much better. hes not very open to her about emotions, he doesnt treat her very well.

I really and truly believe that she will be unhappy in the long run if she goes back to him, because allhe does is say mean hurtful things to her and treats her like crap.

sorry hon, i know you love him, but i hate the way he treats you.

swclown

[QUOTE]Originally posted by SilviaGTO
because allhe does is say mean hurtful things to her and treats her like crap.


could never get that - why some guys -- shit, and girls--if your with someone -why treat them like crap - you're supposed to CARE about that person - A LOT

swclown

ALTHOUGH
i do recall being in relationships where i DID care for the person, but knew it wouldn't work, didn't have the balls to break up b/c i didn't want to loose her, but at the same time wanted something else so i know i was kinda of an ass at times (intentionally and un) to some extent -
my twisted way of trying to get her to sorta break up with me

i think

Gilgamesh

[QUOTE]Originally posted by swclown

Quote:

Originally posted by SilviaGTO
because allhe does is say mean hurtful things to her and treats her like crap.


could never get that - why some guys -- shit, and girls--if your with someone -why treat them like crap - you're supposed to CARE about that person - A LOT

How about why do women stay with guys like that, or accept a marriage proposal when just a few months before when the ralationship was on the rocks, they honestly said that even when things were good, they never saw it going anywhere Y'all do some confusing shit.

Ditch this guy...he's a bastard from what you and the other Netami Girls say...Its not worth the pain you are causing yourself, he is afraid of comittment, like everyone says, and at the same time, he is not over you and does not want anyone else to have you.

SilviaGTO

RR32CLS

sonik boom be balling out of control.

we JAX people know who does good business.

Python2121

find someone else

Minch00

:angry: :thumbsdn:

Beltfed........I need a gun.....and a one way ticket to Jax.....

Need to this and :pee: on his fucking grave.

NetamiAccord

See Beth? You've heard it from us, and now you've got multiple guys' opinions. You can do better. Yeah, 4 years is a LOOOOT of time invested in one person. But it took what, this one year for things to break down, drain you emotionally and sometimes physically. You're young. You deserve to have fun. And right now, with him, you're not. He keeps talking, you say he's taking *some* action, but I don't see a ring. And I'm sorry, but I don't see him leaving that shop, every day at 5, so yall can have happy family time like he says. Plus he insults you, and it pisses you off, so why are you considering putting up with it more??! I'm sorry, you know I love ya like a sister and I dont want you hurting. But I still think you should see what else is out there.

Miss iVTEC

Thanks guys for taking the time to give me some honest opinions. I think it's really great how everyone tries to help others out on this board.

Ross....I know you live in the area...if this thread ever got back to him I'd never hear the end of it. He's a very personal guy and would be really pissed if he knew I was talking about our situation on a forum....so..you get what I'm saying...

I guess part of it is my fault for not being strong enough to just say GO AWAY. This last time has been different because I didnt' just let him back in my life. I told him he needed to prove to me that he had changed.

I guess I just keep hoping that one day things can go back to how they used to be. That's no one's fault but my own.

RR32CLS

dont worry, i havent been up there in a while doing business or anything. dont worry. i dont gossip.

Miss iVTEC

And girls...I don't want you to feel like your opinion wasnt' enough for me. I guess I just thought maybe his behavior was some strange guy code that could be explained.

I guess I just wish things could be different. I put up with a lot and sacrificed a lot for his business. I've tried to be supportive and I haven't expected anything (money, hookups) in return because I wanted to see him succeed.

I guess I'll just focus on my Nursing degree and become a Big Baller on my own and not worry about all this crap! I can't take it anymore! RARR!

NetamiAccord

So you wanna be a balla, shot calla.....

Yeah beth! Thats more like it!

Minch00

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, have you seen my posts? I make a topic if I get a hangnail........

It's natural to discuss problems with friends....and we're your friends.

Miss iVTEC

Thanks Minch. That's really sweet. This the first forum where I've actually enjoyed posting, and didn't feel like I was gonna get flamed or laughed at for what I had to say, or for just being a girl.

SilviaGTO

true. thats why i have a 3000gt but post on here.

and i love the religion and politics forum. nothing like a heated debate!! god i love it.. *goes back to religion forum*

ch1276

believe me, i'm sure that there is someone out there that is going to treat you better...although its going to be tough, you need to get rid of this guy and go on with the rest of your life....i'm sure you'll find someone great

Gilgamesh

Well, I can't fault the guy for wanting his business to suceed, but other than that my opinion stands.

kensteele

I say stay with the guy. Otherwise you will be totally miserable. Apparently it is better to be mistreated and led on for years and years to come rather than go thru some horrible pain for 6 months that will for sure be totally forgotten in 12-18 months....so forgotten that you would be ashamed to even admit you were that same person some 2 years later.

Bulldog01

Hell, that's why most of the folk on here like y'all.

SilviaGTO

but you can fault him for it being the only thought in his mind. even when hes not there thats all he thinks and breathes and talks.

rather sad.

ch1276

i can understand being very focused on business because you need to be in order for it to succeed, BUT you need to prioritize the other people and things in you life so that you don't end up leaving anyone behind

Miss iVTEC

I can't blame him for wanting to be successful. That's one of the things I've always liked about him was his determination to succeed. The thing that hurts is I was around way before his business, and I've been nothing but supportive of his business, but I always end up last on his list.

Doc.Booty

If he would get upset about something as little as this thread, he has some issues.

CLBean

You should come first Beth. Especially if you supported his business from the get go and didn't ask for anything in return. If he can't see that and wants to f*k w/ you. You need to just move on. I know it is hard and you'll go through a living hell, but it can't rain all the time, so things will get better... eventually. Just get involved in new stuff and meet new people. Works wonders! Good Luck!

Doc Holiday

It sounded like he didn't want to be with you, but when heard that you had a date, he got jealous? I dunno whats up with him, but being with someone especially that long you just can't break up, get together and over and over. Since you came way before his business, and he doesn't see that, then fuck him. Sorry it sounds harsh and all, but I mean geez, business before a woman ain't right, unless if she be gettin some of his cash, then I can see.

Gilgamesh

Good point.

1SICKLEX

Okay Dr. Love-SICK in the house, how can I help?

Miss iVTEC

Well......as of tonight it is officially DONE. Things got really ugly and he called me a pretty mean name, but we're through. We obviously just aren't compatible anymore. It hurts me really bad because I remember the guy he USED to be, but he obviously isn't that person anymore.

I just wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to give me advice.....it really helped. Thanks for listening to little 'ole me.

Gilgamesh

Good on ya, you will thank yourself later. and remember, time heals. Just don't go back...you've got "hand" now. (sorry, had to use the Sienfeld refrence) Be strong...