So I need to break up with this girl...I told her I was not ready yet, and she still jumped on my sausage...thing is, she is cool. but I know its just a rebound thing and I don't want to continue on and hurt her (anymore than this probably will that is)

What is the best way to tactfully escape this situation? Over the phone, in person, what do I say, etc.

Thanks all...

 

I vote in person - she jumped on your sausage anyway? Either she's desparate to save the relationship or she just wanted some.

I think honesy is always the best policy, that way you never have to change your story at least. It's potentially more dangerous to break up in person, but at least it will all be laid out and no surprises later on.

Good luck anyway.

 

in my experience, if you ever want to talk to this girl again or potentially date her, do it in person and be gentle.

breaking up with someone over the phone, in my opinion, is one of the most shady and inconsiderate things you can do.

just be a fuckin man and tell the girl to her face you're not ready...i hate guys that bitch out

good luck

 

^

 

Wish all guys felt this way...some just like to treat you like shit so you will hate them and that voids them of any responsibility! Oh well...life goes on and it's great!Just b/c they have burned one steak, doesn't mean they will get another.

 

Do it in person. And be honest about the reasons.

 

SOunds like everyone has the right advice, always be a man and do whatever you have to do in person! Treat her with respect and consider her feelings. If you do it right, she'll understand!

 

tell her yourself -

The "classic" is to do it at a nice restaurant so that she wouldn't make a "scene", but I always thought that was a stupid way to do it. (And if she does make a scene, it's really spectacular.........)

But do her the courtesy of talking with her quietly, telling her what's going on with you, and then move on..................she'll be hurt and pissed, and you need to be aware of that.

 

Do it at her place so she doesn't have to deal with getting home all teary-eyed and upset.

 

You crack me up, ric!

And Gilgamesh, just Tell her in person and be direct about it. She will appreciate your honesty. Good luck!

 

Go the Kevin Costner route and send her a fax.

 

I do feel the need to be honest with her, however I have tried that, with the whole I'm not ready talk before, and she said she wanted to wait.

I don't know if I come straight out and tell her that it is a rebound thing, or what...I'm still interested, but I see it fading soon, and I think the best thing to do is to tell her now rather than continue on for a month or two and have it be that much worse later on.

 

I never actually did this, but I was witness to it one evening - my wife and I were having a quiet dinner at a crowded, rather romantic restaurant when we heard raised voices about two tables away - clearly the guy was telling the woman that he wanted to end their relationship. She ended the conversation by pouring a glass of wine, strategically enough, into his lap - and then left. The guy sat there for a chunk of time, then got up and wandered towards the door......As the guy made his way through the restaurant, the stain - well........................it had been very strategically aimed.................. his face was about as red as the wine had been............ but I digress Giglamesh, ya gotta tell her straight up

 

He shoulda slapped her after that instead of being embarrased.

anyway...just say "I'm just not that into you, there's a book about it...I suggest you go read it."



http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...99300?v=glance

 

Yes, it's much better to be abusive than a little embarrassed

 

whatever. I've seen women get psycho before (spilling drinks in laps, throwing things, breaking things, etc). You gotta nip that in the bud before she gets out of hand.

 

email or IM

 

Text Message

WE R DUN
CYA

 

Oof...I don't want to be that cold...that would work though, its not that I am not that into her...I'm not looking for anything serious at this point, and I don't know how long that will last...I'm sort of...man whore at the moment, and I am enjoying it.

I'd keep messing around with her, but I can read between the lines and I know she wants more than that, even though I have told her that I don't.

Maybe one of us will start nitpicking little fights over nothing that will give me an excuse

I'll probably take the suggestion and do it at her place or maybe when we meet for coffee one night...who knows.

 

Or, if you really dont care, do what I did, and stop talking to her. She'll get the hint, sooner or later, lol.

 

Well dispite my smart ass comments there is nothing wrong then actually talking to her and explaining how you view each other. If you want to keep dating her then keep dating her - dating does NOT mean relationship. As long as you are clear about that you are being honest with yourself and with her.

There always comes a point in dating of "keep going or not?" and it sounds like you may be at that point.

 

Dude, you have more girl problems...

Anyway, on a different note...I think it may do you some good to use this situation to help you understand and reconcile some of your relationship issues of the past. You've mentioned many times before that too many women do not appreciate a good man and you've shown that you are obviously very jaded by it. I shouldnt have to elaborate; I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, it sounds like you are now the antagonist in the relationships you have so hated in the past. I'm sure this girl is a good woman but you do not like her and are about to break her heart. That is perfectly ok, not everyone will connect on that level. However, you you should now realize that all those girls in that past that did the same were no different. They arent skanks who intentionally hurt you; they just didnt connect with you on that level. Maybe now you can make peace with that.

PS: I know the girls im referring to may have done some shady stuff and whatnot and that's why you're hurt....but thats not my point. You complain that girls dont appreciate a good man who cares for them. Well, now you do not appreciate a good woman who cares for you. So when you say you are soo nice and girls dont appreciate you, maybe now you realize it isnt about that. It's only about the fact that they did or didnt connect with you.

 

This might be too suble, but one time I told a girl I was dating that I would trade the memory of any relationship I've ever had for a decent roast beef sandwich. She got the hint and I never saw her again.

 

Do it on a POST-IT

 

Naw man, send her a shoe box w/ a card on top, telling her your not sure about the situation. In it, put some flowers w/ some nice scented cologne, and put some dog shit underneath it...sounds a lil thoughtful if you ask me.

 

 

Well hey, I know gilgamesh has gotten some bad apples, but I mean man, enjoy what you have. Like how go ducks said, he's mad cuz no one appreciates him, and then when he does get one, he's not interested in her. No offense to him at all, but he's mad at what kinda girls he's gotten, and when he gets a good one, he doesn't want to be serious.

Maybe your expecting the wrong things in the wrong girl. If not, just think about which girls that look a certain way do what, and see what you want. Whether it be to play the field, epect them to play head games, and be a tease. Dont have certain expectations in a girl, especially if she doesn't look to fit that type. AKA "a ho can't be a housewife". By all means, seriously, good luck with it, but dont expect to change a girl to be into you cause you want her. Its either she's into you, or she isn't.

If you wanna play the field, play the field, but try to get a grasp on what it is EXACTLY that YOU want. Seems your a lil confused by these broads, but try to clear up or understand what your lookin for. Just my ...

 

You really should just tell her. Tell her anything! You just have to let her know or you will probably feel like a creep later. If you don't dig her that much then just tell her that you like her, think she is cool, blah blah, but you just don't have romantic feelings toward her. It's like GoDucks says, some people just don't connect on that level and it's OKAY. That's just reality. If you think you are not sure then say it just isn't working for you right now. I hate when guys try to avoid it, it just leaves everyone hanging and it leaves bad feelings down the road. Sure, her feelings will be hurt for a bit but she'll get over it!