"Dr.Dean" I'm from the National Association of Pimpness... i'm gonna need to see your dr of love license......

 

for CLean B

 

wat da hell is that?!

 

Do you ever go to the famous ferris wheel on the boardwalk?

 

in santa monica?

 

Yes in Santa Monica. I used to drive there at night and do dips and pullups at the beach.

 

yea thats really close to my house.... been there many times

but "dr." dean.... that still doesnt prove your credentials...

 

I'm from New York, it proves I've been around.

 

Dr. Love, I was gonna make a separate thread about this, but i usually vibe with your advice so ill ask now: That girl im sorta with/seeing that i always talk about is making me ponder something. Basically she tells me everything, like family problems, her family's checkered history, how she's doing crappy in school, why her roomates are bothering her, basically all this personal shit etc that i really have no business knowing. Well there's this one thing that happened and all i know is it pissed her off to no end and she will not tell me about it. She says it's because it's insignificant and not important and has nothing to do with me (so why not just tell right)? Obviously something else is in the picture.

All i know is some black dude she might be friends with that she sees at this club she always goes to might have lied to her and/or pissed her off. Whatever. I had forgetten about it for about 3 weeks, but the other day im chillin with her and her friend, i go upstairs to get a drink, i come back down and she's telling the tail end of the story to her friend, so i ask what happened, not really in tune with the fact that it was the same thing, but when she said "oh nothing" i realized, its this shit again.

Now i could give 2 shits why some black dude at some club pissed her off. But the fact this is the ONE thing she will not tell me about (but not without subjecting me to hearing the tail end of her convo with someone else about it) but i would like to know WHY im not allowed to be talked to about it. It just makes me think she's living this double life and the possibilities are endless that i could have this huge blanket over my head (not saying she's cheating cuz im 99.99999% sure shes not, but who knows what else im missing). It seems everytime i try to bring it up it starts a fight and i was thinking just forget about IT. but after 3 weeks and she still doesnt wanna tell me what or WHY she cant tell me, it really irks me, almost to the point of where i don't trust her. What would make her keep this so secret from me? What to do?

 

When a girl keeps something from her man or in your case, the guy she's seeing, it's because she either doesn't want to hurt him or because she has cheated on him. I can't say for certainty that the latter has happened, but you can't go around saying you're 99.99999% sure she hasn't cheated either. Now, Mike, let's break down the info you gave me, but don't get angry because we have no proof of anything, just speculation. She's angry with her male friend from the club because he lied to her? This leads me to believe that your girl and her male friend were pretty close. The male friend might have gotten with another girl and pissed your girl off in the process. Your girl doesn't want to tell you what happened? If she and her friend were closer than you thought and he was seeing another girl, she couldn't tell you because it would sound absurd to say, the guy I'm cheating with is cheating on me. Once again, we have no proof of anything, but I don't like the way your info looked. As for advice, you could confront her about this situation, but you have to check her body language. Catch her off guard and be straightforward. Ask her, "Are you sleeping with him"? Watch her eyes carefully, if she blinks, she's lying. If she pauses for more than 2 seconds and responds no, she's lying. If she pauses for more than 2 seconds, responds no and blinks at the same time, she's definitely lying. How will you know if she's telling the truth when she says no? I'll tell you in the next post if you want to actually go through with this inquisition.

 

good advice dr. love. when i was reading what mike was saying it sounded to me like his girl was def talking about another guy and she didnt want mike to know about it. Prob becuase she didnt want to tell him that A.) she is crushing on antha guy or b.) is upset becuase she maybe hooked up with him befor mike or during (like the good doctor said we are not sure if this happened) and is upset she isnt getting the attention that she wants from him. now we all know the girls love attention so the ladder maybe true. but mike we need more info like what was said that u herd? we were not there so we cant really tell you whats going on.

 

I don't think it involves sleeping with him, b/c i know her every move. Maybe she wanted to at a certain point, but never went thru with it, i dunno. But i do agree that whatever it is, probably will be hurtful in some way, b/c why else would she keep something so insignificant from me right? I think im gonna give her the silent treatment for a little while, and see if she notices it.


Edit: the only other info i might have overheard could have involved getting into the club for free...and maybe it was b/c she was told she would, but then had to pay???? Honestly i have no clue, i dont think $5 would be the cause of so much anger. Also i heard her say one of her friends clued her in on the truth to whatever happened, but that's all i have.

 

Mike, you can handle this situation a couple of ways, one way is to run away from it which doesn't solve anything, and the other way is to call her on it. Now I'm pretty good at reading body language, but if you have tunnel vision, your judgement could become clouded. If you convince yourself that she's not cheating, you're not gonna see that she is no matter what. If you convince yourself that she is cheating, all the denial in the world from her won't convince you that she's not. Do you see my point? If you're not ready to hear any answers, then forget anything ever happened and keep on living. If you want to just forget about everything, which it seems you want to do, don't let this problem eat at you and just live in bliss. If I were you though, I'd check her body language and get to the root of the matter, but that's just me.

 

OK Dean Ill give it a few days and see what i can do...but i was thinkin of doin it over the phone. Should i wait until i see her in person?


You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Batin Dean again

 

If you do it on the phone, how will you read her body language? You must do it in person and don't give away why you're seeing her in person.

 

haaaaa... yes. proofreading does wonders.

 

Did you ever hook up with that political helper guy?

 

those bishes dont get shit from me except 5 fingers to the face

 

Dean: i remember more of what happened. It was the day after my birthday and my parents and sister came up to visit me at school. I was out to eat with my parents and the girl was wasted from tailgating all day. she kept calling me asking if i wanted to go to the club while i was out to eat with my parents, saying she might be able to get us in for free. So she kept calling and im like chill out im leaving in 10 ill call you then. So i call her and all of a sudden, she's like i dont wanna go there, my friend pissed me off, and i was like 10 minutes ago you wouldnt stop buggin me wtf? So i said we're going anyway b/c i already told everyone else we're going so tough for you. (You like that forcefulness?) So we went, didn't get in free, nothing happened, it was normal.

Next day i was like what was up with changing your mind in 10 minutes about goin to the club last night? She's like oh i was wasted i dont even think i talked to him, i was talkin outta my ass, not making sense etc. I was thinkin ok whatever. Still odd to me how the b*tch would flat out lie to me about some stupid shit like not gettin let in the club for free. She's hardly cheap like that so obviously it wasn't about the $5

 

She got drunk, then she got pissed at her friend. Maybe he tried to take advantage of her while she was wasted. You'll have to dig deeper and find out what happened, otherwise, you just have to let it go altogether.

 

ok Doc, i need some help...

theres this gurl i have been talkin to and i no she likes me on a friendly basis. we talk for hours at night but i dont no how to take it to the next level. i cant tell if she wants me to take charge. im going to her dorm on fri... so ne help would be greatly appreciated. and dont tell me to PIITB, cause im not looking for sex right now.

 

your going to her dorm and your 54 ??? wtf um most of the time females like it when a guy takes charge in that aspect. they most always want the guy to make the first move

 

im 18, thas a lie, its changed now and shes 19

 

This is kind of tricky because you're getting in the friend zone. Flirt with her a little bit, see how she takes it. Tell her things like, "damn, you look hot!" See how she responds. If she responds by saying "are you on some drugs?", play it off like you were just joking. If she looks uncomfortable with your advances, back off immediately. If she loves your flattery, then you start making moves. Let me know what you decide to do then we'll take it from there.

 

i do flirt with her and she does flirt a little back, but i dont no how to close the deal. this gurl is different then most gurls i have tlaked to. she actually listens and remembers what i say. when we flirt its more playful and i cant tell if its serious or is she just playing along

 

You need to be specific, otherwise, the doctor can't help you. What kind of flirting have you done and how has she flirted back? Who does the majority of the calling? How long have you known this girl and how did you meet? I need to know these answers and more. I'll be waiting.

 

i tell her she looks good and shes like thanks (the flirting) it doesnt go farther then that usually. the calling is weird cause most of the time i see her online on msn and i start tyoing and simultaneosly she types as well ans then shes like call me cause she doesnt like talkin to me over msn. i have known her for a couple weeks. we meet during a class and i just got her number and i took it from there. i have no problems flirting with gurls... its closing the deal that i cant do. ne more info just ask... if u wanna no shes asian and 19, im brown and 18. i dunno ive never dated an asian but damn id like too.

 

Brown? Are you Asian brown? Brown could mean hispanic, light skinned black, Arab. I'm assuming you're Indian, ok? Do you give her a kiss on the cheek when you see her? Do you pay for meals when you hang out? I need a little more info here.

 

kiss no. i am indian brown but she thought i was black for some reason, i guess because im not a fob. meals, we have yet to eat together because plans always get fucked but this fri for sure. the majority of our communication is talkin on the phone for a long time we are in different programs and are always busy at different times. when we do eat together it ill prolly be at her dorm where food is free for her, but i plan on taking her out this fri and ill pay. i dont want to fall into the realm of friends because the same thing happened to me with another gurl this year and we became "friends"but this one is more serious and very different. keep askin ill tell it all i need help!!!

 

You need some signs from her that she's digging you. Right now, you're being too conservative and that's gonna force you to play catch up eventually. You keep working at this pace with the long phone calls and msn chats, some other guy who straight up asks her out will scoop her up from under your nose. You started off on the wrong foot. You became friends with her and now we have to fix this. Now how did you flirt with her again? You tell her she looks good? If that's your idea of flirting, you're in for an uphill battle. I'd just go for broke if I were you. Bring her some flowers or chocolate when you see her. If she reacts poorly, just play it off like you give flowers to all your female friends. You have to know when and how to react. If she gives you some negative feedback, just back off, but if she's digging your friendly gifts and pimp moves, you move in for the kill. I wish I could guide you every step of the way, but unfortunately, your pimp reflexes can only be developed with experience; it's like playing sports, you get better at it over time. Make some small moves and if she's not with it, just back off quickly and you'll be able to salvage your friendship.

 

You just met her 2 weeks ago and she's still young so it's hard to tell. She might be conservative or a bit shy. Perhaps she likes old-fashioned courtship?

 

Aren't most Asian girls shy? I had to teach an Asian girl how to kiss properly this past summer. Imagine that, a pretty 19 year old girl not knowing how to kiss right.

 

Yes... a signficant number of Asian girls are shy

Glad to know you have been a productive member of this society! Spread the love, one girl at a time!

 

Did I forget to mention that I'm 36?

 

How come you're profile says you're 28! Is this what you have been telling these girls?! No wonder! Tsk, tsk, tsk...

j/k



In any case, some girls find it sexy when an experienced man is teaching them the ways in bed (or chair, or floor...).

 

Dean is the name of my roommate, I decided to use his name and age as a joke to a former ACURAZINE member. I don't look old anyway.

 

thanks a lot doc, time to step it up

 

I am with an Asian Lady, not Asian American, she's from Taiwan, anyway, Asian women aren't really so shy so much as they have a certain expectations about courting. Take it slow, but not too slow and be respectful. She wants you to move forward or she'd have let you know by now. Move ahead, be NICE, gentle and sincere and watch how she reacts each step. Reading her facial expressions will take practice but it will be MORE THAN WORTH your effort. If she's Asian American, then she'll be more westernized and you have to be more aware of where she came from.

 

too late, i fell into the f-bomb (friend), but its alright cause i really like her and a relationship might ruin that.

 

Wanna tell me what happened? PM me the details if you're too embarrassed, but I think the others on here want to help you too.