my friend needs some help!


My friend's senario:
ok so i email my bf of a year and a half (long distance=too long distance) and i tell him that i just can't do this anymore and basically that i am done. i did this not to offically break up, but to get a response from him reassuring me we will be together soon. problem is, this time i didn't get a response, period. so i started calling him, and after almost 24 of no response, finally got an email saying he needs to think and be alone. wtf does this mean?

is he done with me? does he just need time? is there another girl? does he love me still?

 

let me say that your friend is a dumbass for trying a stunt like that for attention.

How many times did she pull this stunt before? Maybe he got sick of it.

On the flip side, maybe hes thinking of moving near her and has to think if shes worth that.

 

well, unfortunately, i think she does think a little more than she wants to. i think she does this to justify her lonliness and to make herself feel better-reassure his feelings for her. girls do silly things for attention and then most of the time, they regret afterwards. i have talked with her about this, and she realizes that she messed up big time, and now she is freaking out....i think her boyfriend is to the point of "this sucks and if i can't make you happy no matter what i do, i might as well make myself happy and be alone"

i highly doubt he is thinking of moving to where she lives.

 

Yea i dont blame him... that shit would get annoying. Her fault.

 

 

the jesel speaketh the truth.

and he's probably like damn....we live so far from eachother and if you're having any thoughts about us breaking up, we might aswel do it now

 

insecure gals do this a lot ... the bluff. i, too, had a gal friend who tried this. to test her bf's commitment, she told him (long-distance) that she thought they should see other people. the BF was hurt but agreed that "dating around would be a good idea" ... this was exactly the opposite response she expected. she wanted him to get fiercely passionate and tell her that he didn't want to see anybody else. what a crock of crap.

 

so that's pretty much what i have told her and she agrees. i think she is just shocked that he finally said enough is enough. i feel really bad for her. she knows she is wrong and would totally take it back. any advice on what she should do now. i told her to just let him be and give him space. if he has any second thoughts he will contact her. she just is making herself sick thinking it is over for good. i don't really know what else to tell her besides keep herself busy with other things and DON'T CALL HIM!

 

LD relationship represent a looooooot of work , and they are only worth it if you really care and love each other. If I tought she was having doubts about the relationship ,I would just let her go. Why sacrifice yourself for someone who eventually is going to leave you anyway .

 

i think you all have really good points. it is nice to see things from a guys perspective. i wish girls would realize how stupid they are sometimes. she totally sacrificed a relationship that meant everything to her for silly actions. i am too guilty of doing silly things just to hear the words i want to hear. so, then i will ask, why don't you guys just tell us so we don't have to do stupid things to make you say it?

 

Doesnt matter what the guy says...the girl will always feel insecure. We could say nice things daily but two problems with that.

1. It loses meaning after awhile because it comes routine.

2. Even if we say it, the girl will think whatever she wants. Your friend is an example of that.

We lose either way. Plus i noticed girls dont share feelings as easily as guys do. Whatcha scared of.

 

If I got that email I would take it as an official breakup.

 

LD relationships are very very tough, and attention and "words" are more important because physical interaction isn't there. People do stupid things, insecurity presents a problem at one point; it takes two very strong in love people to make things like this work.


That said, your friend did something stupid, that also said, something has got to be up for him not to try to get her back.

 

BTW, women aren't the only one to play stupid games, i've yet to meet a man who hasn't as well, although men don't admit it

 

women are fricken crazy

 

Im a drama queen, ill admit it.

 

LDRs suck. haha trust me. And the fact that shes "testing" him just goes to show that there is no trust there which I think is the most important thing in making LDR's work.

 

you are totally right. she may think she trusts him, but she has said things to me that make me believe that she doesn't. if you don't have trust, you don't have a leg to stand on.

 

Sometime it is these stupid test / games that people play ruin their relationship. What about the good old fashion love and trust ??

 

You...err I mean your friend...needs to fess up to this guy right now that she did this just to get a reaction if she wants to get this guy back. It's time she starts speaking openly and honestly and stops with the mind games.

 

Once again, as the voice of reason. WHY BE IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT A GOOD REASON?

The only good reasons are.....

1. You were together before and some temporary reason (soldier, school, job, etc) you are far apart. You plan on being closer together again soon.
2. You travel a lot but you get to see each other often.
3. You are in jail.

I honestly can't think of another reason. If there isn't a prospect of being in the same place, that's not a relationship, that's a penpal.

 

so let me get this straight, girl has multiple times called emailed the bf, saying something to the extent that they should call it off. She does it again, he doesn't respond, instead all her low self-esteem and security issues have started to wear on him. Nows he's gone from a hell no everything will be fince attitude to a well maybe she's right I need to think about this attitude? Its her fault she suggested calling it off this time (unless you are ever serious this is a very bad thing to do, hell I let my gf know all the time after an argument, and I try to say it durring the argument, that I still love her and at no point was/am I thinking of calling it off.)

Maybe she is right, it isn't workign out because she is immature, selfish and sometihng else that I can't name, I'm sure the other guys on here will think of it.

P.S. Men are relatively simple creatures, especially when it comes toimportant things, games are a very bad idea.

 

Rumor has it your friend's bf is fucking around with a bunch of other girls. Hopefully of legal age, but that has not been determined.

 

Either he's totally devastated and just never wants to hear from the girl who broke his heart again...or more likely, he's had someone in mind he wants to ask out, and this is his cue.