And she failed....miserably.

I have been hesitant to post anything regarding this topic due to the flak I am more than likely to receive but AZ is the best place I know of to get opinions on shit like this.

Back in high school, my social skills were fairly sub par and doubly so when dealing with women. At the time, I had a crush on a girl who did not return my feelings. I said some things I shouldn't have and generally acted like a fool but in the grand scheme of things, it probably didn't make a shit bit of a difference. I sent her a note via MySpace apologizing for my behavior all those years ago. The note was more for my own personal closure (and damn did it work!) than it was for her. She read it but never replied, an action that I more than expected.

That was a month ago. I found myself curious if she really had changed so I shot her a Facebook friend request which was almost immediately shot down. So...it all makes sense now. Rather than accept my apology and put the past behind her, she continues to be an immature little girl at heart. I think it just makes me feel better to know that in the end, I am the sole level-headed and sensible equation here.

Fuck her. suit on.

Oh yes. Pics will be posted upon request. :devilgrin

 

Is your name Earl?

 

Never really thought of it that way. Guess in a way, I am. Plus I just wanted to move on more than anything.

 

i dont see why people would bring out the flamethrower for this, other than that it's sub-ramblings, but being the bigger person is commendable. and it always feels good trying up loose ends and just moving with your own life, forget others' inability to do the same.

and she probably thought you're still trying to put the game on, could have been an obsessed stalker you know

 

well how badly did you hurt her bro? Like butt hurted?

 

why? Because the dude is sending her a note about things he did years ago... Talk about not moving on from the past....

she wasn't interested in him back then, so he lashed out, and now to receive a note years later? And after ignoring that, a friend request! She prob thinks hes some psycho...as she should...

The OP prob thought by sending her a nice mature letter he would warrant some attention from her....instead it just makes him look even more pathetic....

and now to post pics? out of what? spite that this chick you still like does not want to have anything to do with your sorry ass? IMO your the immature one...(don't let this stop you from posting pics though).

word of advice...move on...

 

Immature? Perhaps she just doesn't like you or care to associate with you.

 

Very good points, all of you.

Your first point is exactly what I'm saying. I did it more for me than for her and I feel much better for it.

The second part is probably true, as well. I don't think she ever really trusted me.

I am moving on. I didn't ask her out, I didn't ask her to marry me, nothing like that. I said I was sorry and that was it. And you know what? I feel lighter for it.

And good call on the posting pics thing...immaturity slips out.

If she came out and said that it would be a lot better than ignoring me.

 

well bro, that's not up to you to decide.

Man up, not every chick will dig you, that's life. Take it as a lesson learned.

 

Very true...thanks man. I try to better myself through experience and this whole thing has just rubbed me the wrong way if you know what I mean.

 

Yea it happens, it's happened to most people out there. But, you cant force these things, and from the sound of it, all you really seem to be looking for is some sort of recognition or attention from this other person, obviously someone you really had strong feelings for.

But trying to force it will only push the person further away.

Look at it this way, you did what you felt you needed to do. You said you feel better because of it, so that's a plus. I would have handled things slightly differently, but that's not important, because it's already over with.

I'm a firm believer, that if something is meant to be , it will be. It may not happen when you want it to happen, and in most cases, it doesn't. But when thing's tend to go smooth and "easy" , it's a good thing.

When situations, even as simple as making a purchase, or booking a trip, are full of problems and headaches, IMO it's the universe telling you to back out and go another way.

 

She might be and this test just proved it

 

Imaginary rep points to you. Thank you for your wise and level-headed comments and for hitting the nail square on the head.

Also very possible.

 

Big effin

(Not to mention, a slightly less brutal version of everything I was thinking so no need for my harsher )

Ok, couldnt help myself so one quick point - At no point in this equation do you have a right to have expectations or judgments. You are reaching out and if, how or when she responds is totally up to her. In addition, choosing not to respond tells you absolutely nothing except just that, she chose not to respond. It doesn't tell you shes immature, or holding a grudge, or crazy or any of that. To make those judgements however will say those things about yourself.

 

Someone sent me a card with a note of apology for how they felt they behaved or felt they hurt me about 6 years after the fact. I didn't respond either. What did/do/would you have liked her to say, or how would you have liked her to respond? <-- Honest question.

When I was on the receiving end, I read it and wondered what made him think of me or feel the need to let me know his feelings, but didn't think there was much for me to do on my end. I'm glad he felt he got closure by sending it, but honestly hadn't thought too much about the situation all those years prior until I got the card. I'm sure he did it out of selfishness -- wanting the monkey off his back -- and even perhaps considered my feelings and wanted me not to feel 'bad' (?) about it all these years later. Truth is, he was obviously carrying it on his shoulders all that time way more than I had.

I think regardless of your expectations of a response of some sort, it must feel great to have closure and a sense of relief from something that was still following you around all these years later (for whatever reason). I don't think what you did was a bad thing at all if it helps you move on in some way.

 

Doesn't sound like he was trying to make contact and become a part of her life again or date her, but more like he just wanted some sort of response or recognition that she did, in fact, receive and read his apology.

 

Hook up with her sister, friend or a cousin of hers than see what happens..

 

It sounds like you're coming off as needy to her, showing her too much attention, and working for her acceptance. I think you should just move on, but more importantly, don't let anything get you down about any of this.

 

off topic:

I know of a guy who got shut down by a girl, so he systematically slept with every one of her friends (this guy is a pick-up instructor). It worked, because he got with her in the end, then taught her how to pick up women, and they went and had a couple dozen threesomes over the next year with the girls they would pick up together. It's ironic, because after they had broken up, she actually stole a girl away from him later on and moved in with her.

/off topic

 

classy

 

You've got a very good point. The truth is, she may have completely forgotten about it until now and perhaps didn't realize how much it burdened me. I'm not sure exactly what I would have liked in terms of a response. Perhaps just a quick Hi or something. Never really thought about it, to be honest with you.

Again...it may come off as that. I have this knack of giving off impressions towards other people without meaning to. It's actually kind of annoying because people will sometimes see me for what I'm not which is, again, aggravating due to the fact that I'm really a nice guy. In that same sense, maybe I am being a bit too needy and that there may be a nagging part of my brain that yearns to prove to her I'm not the asshole she thinks I am as I worry too much about what other people think of me, even when it doesn't matter. Hmmm....

P.S. Love AZine for stuff like this.

 

You shouldn't care what she, or anyone for that matter, thinks of you. Act through your own intentions and do what you want. Don't act like you have to prove something to anyone (excluding job interviews :P). Start doing this, and not only will you have more fun, but people will think more highly of you as well.

 

So much bulllshit in that first post. This was not a maturity test, this was another attempt to see if she would give you the time of day.

 

Maybe she just doesn't want to be your friend. Just a guess.

Now post the pics.

 

True. Thank you.

Gee...thanks. You are turning this into what it isn't. I don't want to be with her. I wanted to set the record straight and put it behind me. Done. That's it. End of story.

I am 99% sure you are right. Somebody called me on this and said it would be immature of me to post photos of her after calling her immature and I believe that to be true. So unless the clamor is too great, I won't be doing it. Sorry.

 

It was so long ago, why do you still care?

 

I have wondered this myself. However I feel much better having gotten it off my chest and you can call if you want but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

 

I have some assumptions I would like clarified with pics :P

 

Interpreting her as immature is premature. For one, you assumed that she has accepted your apology but maybe she hasn't. People are different and maybe she really hasn't forgiven you. You have to take into consideration that she might still be hurt from what you said even after all these years... which reminds me...

What exactly did you tell her back in high school?

 

I'm guessing something incredibly stalkerish. Just like he is acting now.

 

 

You're a fucking weirdo...

 

It's hard to really judge the intent (or lack thereof) behind her actions, without first knowing what you actually said or did in the first place.

 

Yeah I'm curious about your initial freak out session too.

 

Sending a friend invite on facebook is "teh maturity" test? Psh. I reject those all the time, especially if its from some idiot who annoyed me back in high school. OH WAIT...

And wow, it certainly is big of you to extend your friendship to her, after you were a dick to her and said things you shouldn't have said. Real mature.

No one is entitled to forgiveness, you can only ask and hope that its received. Throwing a friend request out there and getting rejected, and then claiming she's immature is unwarranted.

If someone is a dick to you, would you forgive them? What if they did something that made your life miserable, or something so painful that you'd rather not deal with them?

She obviously has put the past behind her, and its time you did too.

Edit: Just playing devils advocate PortlandRL. <3 Oh and since no on asked yet, PICS NAOW!!!!!

 

Well if you didn't have any expectations of a response or reaction, why are you upset that she didn't provide you with one? Doesn't make sense....you must've expected something. Either way, I still think it's great if you feel less burdened after sending her the letter.

 

And that there could be a number of reasons why she didn't respond or accept your request on Facebook. I don't think it tests or proves her maturity, or lack thereof, in any way.

 

pictures.....???

 

whats her name? ill add her on facebook

 

Jesus Christ what am I, water-s?

I really don't know what to say now so for the meantime, I'm finished with this thread. My fears about posting it were confirmed.