spdy0001

Ok so I met this girl and we have so much in common its great. Right now were freinds and hang out every once in a while, but I would like it to get a little more serious. My only problem is that I worried that if I express how I feel and she doesn't feel the same that it might ruin our current relationship.

Any idea's on how I can tell if she shares the same feelings?

chef chris

No, seriously...you might as well ask her how she feels...if not, you'll just keep thinking about it until you end up not wanting to be around her...

Plan a "date" that could go either way...friendly or ... Maybe a sappy movie or a "nicer" type restaurant...somewhere where you'll have the chance to slow down a bit & talk...maybe a nice long ride in the car to a show...etc.

EDIT: The auto show is coming up...maybe ride down, then plan an evening of dancing on DE Avenue...coupla slow slongs & you can decide then if she's got the same feelings. If you don't get the vibe, just play it cool & forget your "other" feelings.

liquid_x

I've been in the same position you're in right now. What did I do? I didn't tell the girl how I felt and lived in regret for a while. Now I try to live by "with great risk comes great reward". If its a risk your willing to take, this girl may like you and you two can develop a serious relationship. If she doesn't like you it MIGHT change your friendship or it might not. And if she doesn't like you, don't let one girl get you down there's plenty more girls out there.

Miss iVTEC

So much time/thought/energy is wasted in relationships trying to figure out how the person feels, and not wanting to come on too strong etc...... just straight up tell her how you've been feeling. If she's vibin then u can get started on the good stuff. If she isnt' then it wasn't meant to be anyways, and u just saved yourself alot of wondering and worrying. Good luck!

TLD

What kind of inexperienced advice givers are posting here? Asking the girl how she feels shows a lack of confidence and experience. You need to feel her out, judge by instinct because if you ask her how she feels, you'll be putting her on the spot. Look for these signs. Does she flirt with you? Does she get physical with you?(head on shoulder, kisses you excessively) Does she call you often? Check for the signs and if they're there, make your move.

TLD

There's a big difference between risk and stupidity, let me give you an example. You play basketball and like going to the hole, which is a high percentage shot. You're playing a full court pickup game with David Robinson being the opposing center. You know that taking a layup to David would mean a likely rejection, but if you get the layup, you will have scored an awesome basket. You take the ball up strong right into David's awaiting hand and you wind up looking like an idiot. Pouring out your emotions to a girl whom you've established nothing physical with is like taking a layup right into David Robinson's hand, a stupid move.

ItalianStallion

a friend of mine had this happen to him.

DO NOT DO WHAT HE DID.
They were making out and he said "i think im falling in love with you." she obviously didnt feel the same way she liked him but how much more he wanted her than vice versa wierded her out. 2 weeks after their first encounter, their friendship went down the shitter for a time. only reason they ever talk now is because she's a regular when we all get together and hang out.

TLD

Perfect example of how the girl feels uncomfortable with that emotional bullshit. Just be confident and save the emotional nonsense for the soap operas.

ItalianStallion

yeah. on top of his monumental fuck up, everyone knows exactly what he says. now he gets a ton of shit for dropping the L bomb on the first night.

liquid_x

I was gonna put that in but couldn't word it in a way to make sense but I perfectly agree with everything you said. TMI for her to know will freak her out.

liquid_x

non-verbal communication is key

TLD

BTW, I wasn't calling you stupid, liquid. I was pointing out that the risk of pouring out emotions could be stupid and I used your quote as an example.

liquid_x

no worries man we all here to help each other out anyway

TLD

Now aren't you glad you didn't tell that girl how you felt? Your only regret should be that you didn't push up on her, but speaking it was definitely not the risk you should have taken.

spdy0001

thanks for all the replies guys

I think ill just play it cool for a while until I can get a more of a feel for the situation

blackmagiCL_S

If there is a holiday coming up and she wants to spend it with you vs. her family or any other guy, that is a good indication. if you are afraid of getting shut down, then start off the time that you decide to "try" with something simple. If it is her birthday or something get her some tulips. If you can sense that things are "weird" then cool it down and move on. If she gets the "right look" that says thanks for making a move then just ask her out dancing or something.

I feel for you man. I've been there and never pulled the trigger as far as asking them out. Good luck.

Red-CL

I go strictly on body language. Some females don't even know how to express themselves but the body never lies.

SilviaGTO

er. I dont think hes looking to spill out his heart and shout the love word.

I think he just wants to let her know hes interested in more than friendship

TLD

And the best way to do it is by feeling her out and making a move when it's there, not telling her some corny shit like, I really like you and I want to know if you feel the same way, that kind of nonsense gets you nowhere but looking stupid.

amisconception

batin has it down

TLD

Thanks man, but the only reason I know is because once upon a time, I was a confused, inexperienced young cat who tried the "mistake" moves and have learned from them. I'm just trying to save you young people the fallout from the mistakes I've made over the years. Trust me, make a few adjustments in your swing, and you'll be hitting homeruns instead of striking out.

TLD

You can do a little more than that. You can give her subtle hints, just don't go out there with that I really like you speech. Take her out to eat, go to the movies, hang out at some cool spot; as long as you pay, she'll be glad to hang with you. Make sure you always pay, even if she offers, and you'll be tapping that ass in no time.

darrinb

lay the pipe for her