For the past couple months I've been gettin to know this girl pretty good through friends. She is 27 and I am 19. She just got out of a 7 year relationship because her man cheated on her. The first time I met her I knew she was special and I had to get to know her. She is everything I could ever dream about, to me she is perfect. Lately we've been pretty serious but nothin official. I don't want to rush a relationship so soon after hers just ended, and neither does she. I know she is into me and really cares for me and I feel the same about her. She worries what other people think about our age difference though. To me age is just a number and as long as the person I'm with makes me happy and I make them happy I could care less what other people say, but I am curious of what you guys think since most of you are older and have more experience. I'm in college and she is not, obviously. She says I act nothing like my age and jokes around asking if I'm sure I'm not really older than I say. We've both joked about our future and have had serious talks. She doesn't want any kids as of now, I don't know if that will change later. She is a person I trust so much. I've told her more about myself then I have with anyone else in my life, and I feel like I know so much about her as well. I could never hurt her I care so much about her and it hurts me when she is feeling down and is upset. Her parents know about me and my age but I have yet to tell my parents. Oh, and if it makes a difference she and most of her entire family is Korean and I'm white. I don't have a problem with this, I've dated an asian girl in the past and I think they're just as beautiful as any other girl from any other race

So what I want to know is what good and what bad can come out of this? I have thought a lot about this and I can really see her in my future making each other very happy. I honestly don't have any worries gettin together. What do you guys think about a 19 year old boy and a 27 year old girl gettin together?

I also want to hear anything else you have to say. And if you're confused on anything I said, let me know and I'll explain it better.

Thanks in advance.

 

If you can't tell your parents, she's TOO OLD.

Believe it from someone who knows. A person who isn't in the same stage of life as you probably won't work out in the long run, at least not from my experiences.

 

Interracial dating isn't the problem here. The problem is the huge age gap between you two, especially you being the guy who's much younger.
Age gap relationships are quite common these days. But the concerns is how your families may wish to interfere. She is 27 and her biological clock is ticking, she might want children sooner than you expect. Issues like this should be discussed in detail before two people get too serious. Another thing to think about it is the future. One person is going to age faster than the other one. It's nature and you can't avoid it. In a 20 year age gap for instance, as good as things are when you turn 32and she will be 40, if you two stay together, then you won't be growing old together as much as you growing older and her growing ELDERLY. These things need to be considered as well.

It's not impossible but you need to think about this before you two get too serious.

 

I should have explained a lil more. My parents know about her and how we've just been kickin it, but they've never met her and they don't know her age. They just know that I'm interested in this girl.

 

What I've bolded there is a huge problem. You're not comfortable telling your parents her age. That tells me something. It tells me that age is more than just a number, and it really does mean something to you, except that you want this thing to work out because you've come to trust her.

You have to have a serious discussion with your parents. I know you think they might not know anything important and might be overprotective of you, but if they don't want you to see her there has to be a valid reason. ACIRE has put some good reasons down why it's not the greatest idea in the world.

 

What does she do for a living?

 

My thought is that there is a lot of things an over 21 year old can do without an under 21 year old....That may be an issue.

 

You're making the opposite point that you are arging. The age difference means less and less as you get older. At 19 and 27, it is huge. At 32 and 40, it almost doesn't matter. At 70 and 78, it makes no difference at all.

 

She works at Blockbuster for now

 

Dude, just enjoy it.

If you get hurt... you learn.

 

Well, it could be an issue. Maybe not something that harms a potential relationship, but many Korean families are rather conservative and might be apprehensive or even downright against her seeing a white guy.

This is a very poor point. The relevence of the gap in age decreases as you grow older. A 19 year old and 27 year old are much farther "apart" than say a 51 year old/43 year old or a 64 year old/56 year old. And as far as being elderly...each one's individual health and genetic makeup comes into play moreso than the chronological age. A 78 year old woman can easily be as youthful and healthy as a 70 year old man.

My maternal Grandparents are quite virile, active and healthy and they are both age 85. My fraternal grandparents both died in their late 60s and in their final years were both more "elderly" as far as countenence, assistence required and mental acuity.

 

Too true my friend. I'm korean and even applies to the males. My parents only want me dating Korean girls, except I've dated all Chinese girls my whole life.

 

To white people, Koreans are considered Chinese people anyway so it's really no big deal for us.

 

IMHO the only thing your age gap is good for is . She will teach you quite a lot. Who knows, maybe you are just a young cock to her?

One complaint I always here from girls about guys your age is that they are immature assholes. Her man cheated on her, I would think that if she wanted to get serious with someone that she would want someone who is more calmed down and seasoned than a 19 year old.

 

Hmmm... this argument sounds very familliar.

 

Yeah, ACIRE makes such awful points that it's hard to not pile on.

 

 

I was in the same situation once. I was 17 and dated a 27 year old, but it only lasted a few months. The older I get the weirder I realize it was, but on the other hand if I had the choice again knowing what I know now, I would've done it again.

Let's just say it was fun while it lasted, but on the other hand it never felt normal for either of us. Not sure if that helps anything but feel free to ask about it.

 

Very true. The age difference will matter less and less as they grow older.

 

But as far as the age difference, I see some real benefits for a 19 year old guy dating a 27 year old woman:

- She would know how to fuck better than most girls your age
- She would have less inherent drama than most girls your age
- She would have more money than most girls your age

Of course in this specific case, you have the problem of her being just out of a 7 year relationship...a relationship that lasted more than a quarter of her life. That's not an age difference issue though, just more of a "she's prolly gonna find herself with about a baker's dozen dongs in her mouth over the next year" problem.

 

i say just take it slow...dont rush anything

 

Age gap decreases as older you get, but mind you he's only 19 where she's 27. I am stating the basic facts. It is quite different when a 56 year old person dating a 48 year old

 

My friends grandparent(forget if it was grandma or grandpa) married a 35 year old, they were >70.

Mike

 

Not necessarily. She works at blockbuster.

 

You misunderstood my post.

Those characterizations were in general, not specific to that girl.

 

Fixed.

I say go for it man... 27 is not old. I know some hot hot females over 30. And like Pull_T says, she will know how to fuck better than girls your age. And he's right. 2 in the pink one in the stink.

 

Money is not an issue. She has enough from inheritance that she can do whatever she wants and be pretty well of. In fact, what she really wants to do for a career is volunteer for UNICEF or the Red Cross. She buys me clothes and other nice things and she says she wants nothing in return and that she only does it for people that she really cares about. Another great thing I love about her is that she loves cars and likes modding them. She drives an S2000 on nice days and an Envoy for when the weather is bad. She also just bought her brother a new STI.

Her family does not have a problem with her dating a white guy, or a guy from any other race as far as I know. In fact, she has an aunt who is Korean that is married to a white guy.

And as far as my parents go, I told them about her today. My mom was kinda happy for me and just told me to just be myself. She didn't have a problem with the age gap.

 

You have wise parents. The age gap of 19/27 just isn't a big deal...and your parents are prolly level headed enough to realize the benefits of you dating a girl older than you are (mainly the maturity/drama areas). I know if I had a 19 year old son, I would rather him date someone older than the average 19 year old.

 

^

That's the same way my parents thought of the situation. But they've always been the type of parents that stayed out of personal stuff like that, so that made things easier for me.

 

If she spreads her legs and you see cobwebs in between them, then that is too old.

 

Age is nothing more than a number. I'm 26, and my gf is 33. You just have to be honest with yourself and eachother. One more time, it matters less and less the older you get.

 

 

It matters a lot what kind of person you are. I would never be able to date a 27 year old at this point in my life...I'm just a college kid lookin to have fun, which is most likely much different than what she's lookin at.

If you're at a different stage in your life, or more serious about things I think it definitely has better chances of working out. As things are now, looks pretty good.

 

Just be careful not to get your feelings hurt. I'm thinking that since she got cheated on she's having trusting issues and wants to be the dominant one in the relationship since it seems pretty obvious she wasn't the dominant one before. What better way to achieve that goal than by picking up a 19 year old. If you like letting her "wear the pants," that's cool if you can handle it.

I hung out with a 28 year old a couple times last summer and i could tell right away she wanted to lock me up fast and control every aspect of my life. No thank you I said and peaced-out.

 

DO IT.....1 life to live....if it works it works...if not....keep it moving..

 

Actually it is the opposite with her. She wants whatever man she is with (me ) to be the dominant one and the one in control of things. BUT, she does like her alone time and her independence, and she also hates people that are 'clingy', the kind of people that want to be around her all of the time. It's weird at times. When I'm out kickin it with my bro's, and I ask if she wants to see me, she says something like 'you're kickin with your bro's so I'll just see you later, you need to spend time with them'. But when we're alone together it's completely different. I feel like I give her the space she wants, but I still think that she thinks I'm a clingy person because I love being around her.

 

I'm never going to tell anyone not to date someone because of their age. My wife is a couple years older than I am. The last 4 women I dated before I got married were older than me. My mom and dad were 15 years apart and had a wonderful marriage until my dad passed away. And my sister is engaged to a guy 9 years older than her.

I think relationships should not be built on age. If you guys like each other and get along....then go with it.

 

hahaha please don't tell me she actually uses the phrase "kickin it with your bro's"

 

Doesn't sound that weird to me actually. My wife says hanging with your boys. We also make fun of all the teeny lingo, so maybe that has something to do with it.

 

Just like any other guy you are totally overthinking this. When I was your age I dated women much much older....THey were usually pretty easy good in the sack. And that was it. The dont want a relationship or any of the BS, they want to know they can still get a young stud and that is where you come in. it makes em feel pretty.

Enjoy it while it lasts...