Just curious how many of us there are out there? How are you holdin up?



I'm fucking miserable

 

was, sucked

 

Was...then she moved here.


Now I'm miserable

 

u still gonna move out?

 

It'll be worse when she moves away again

 

Have been for nearly 3 years. We've made it work for us.

 

well we are exactly a year away from either of us moving. We still haven't decided if I'll go out there or if she'll come back here. Will depend on the job situation.



That said, my life really changed a lot in the last 3.5 years she was out here. I gave up a lot of my identity and grew up real fast. I'm alone and over my friends because all they want to do is go out and hit up the bar scene; and it's just not my thing anymore. Need to find some hobbies fast But, i'm to lazy to do anything at this moment in time.



Sorry to get all emotional, i've been a pansy the last few days

 

never been in any kind of relationship

<~~ loser

 

get out of the 909

 

How long distance are we talking, like a 1-2 hour drive or southwest.com far?

 

Try rock climbing. Hang gliding? I dunno. Something extreme.

 

goin surfin in the mornin

 

I'd say anything more then 3-4 hours whether driving or flying. 1-2 hours seems close to me, that's some of our commutes to work. But either way, distance is distance

 

nah it's rough. i can understand. especially since you lived with her. If both of you can afford it i'd recommend getting




quality is great. Woman and I will do it when we apart for extende periods of time. It helps seeing the other person.

As far as the other stuff Gotta dig into something. School? Business? Workout?

 

I was in one for 3 years. We even got engaged but it didn't work out.

I'm not sure I would do it again. I like to have the guy close to me (especially during one of those lonely nights).

 

GF went to University of Delaware and I went to Rutgers. Yada, yada, yada, she is my wife now.

 

i am out of hte 909 im in the 951

anyways yea i need to get out of here

 

In one right now. Four years plus and doing pretty well. She's in California working. I'm in NYC working. Constant communication is key so we chat every night. Actually, to be honest, she does most of the yakking ... while I feign interest. Just kidding. We have an arrangement to visit one in another by "switching off" every month. I'm gonna fly over there next week and she'll be in NYC next month, etc. It's convenient because both our employers are non-traditional types: she works for a research/clinic center while I work at a hedge fund. The hours are heavy but the perks (travel, getting stuffed comp, etc.) are great. Eventually we have to arrive at a conclusion ... is she gonna move over here or am I gonna go back to Cali (original home)? Can't wait for that sit-down.

 

Zapata, I was actually looking for webcams last night. I make her videos every once in awhile and take a lot of pictures (Hopefully she'll start that soon sicne I gave her my old camera). I'm also working on keeping busy, school is to easy for me to really put much effort into. I work a lot but have had to cut back since I have a disc bulge in my back; and that's getting me to slowly get back in the gym, i'm just very limited to what I can and can't do.



Pillsbury, we do the same thing, switch off every month. I was just out there 2 weeks ago and she'll be out here ont he 25th. Just isn't enough when you are use to everyday interaction. That said it's been 5 months already, we are a 1/3 of the way there. It just sucks. Does jealousy ever happen to you guys?

 

 

No jealousy, though I do get annoyed when her friends keep knocking on her door while we're talking on the phone.

 

No comment about being in a LDR with your wife even though you share the same roof?

Your maturing

 

No, JC beat me to it

 

Dom, be nice. The poor guy is suffering enough as it is...

LDR whilst under the same roof...

 

So he lost 50 pounds AND his wit?

 

If this keeps up, those may not be the only things he loses...

 

In one right now...just starting out.

Its hard, but we talk so much on the phone, its ridiculous...I've spent over 1000 min on the cell with her in the last 2 weeks

 

thats my situation exactly @ the moment...

i guess the main thing to worry about is do you love her, and is she worth dealing w/ the sacrifices... that might be hard for me to do

 

yea the isight is the best. but both people need to have it.

well jealousy....a little on her part. Sometimes on mine. Although i really don't go out so she doesn't worry too much. She's the same way.

 

I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years. We broke up but we're still friends. It was VERY draining and VERY difficult. Separation = 3300km

 

Nope, never tried it, but I'm sure it does suck, but in my opinion it has to have SOME kind of advantage ?

Or at least it would for me, I can't stand someone always being around. Yes I know, marriage is far away from me

 

 

It is rough, but you will appreciate her more when you're together. I've done two stints of a year away, and its looking like another 8-10 months away starting this summer. Glad there's no kids involved.

 

Did it for four years, in the dark ages, before email. Saw each other about every six weeks, talked every weekend (her company had an 800 # that I could call in on) and wrote a lot.

We made it work. Because we had what are politely referred to as "trust issues" the time we spent together was great, and the time apart helped us deal with it. That said, the first two years kind of took care of that.

But ya do get cabin fever. I just started workin 60 hours a week again. That worked for awhile......... then an exercise program, then relearning to cook, then...... The cabin fever, the lonliness when she was not there or I wasn't at her place, got to be deafening sometimes. That was unexpected, because I had lived much of my adult live solo and was used to being comfortable being alone. At first, we didn't have an "exclusive" relationship, but what became swiftly apparent was that neither of us much wanted to be with anyone else. That was a little shocking, and was an indicator that we were in it for the long haul

I also had a tendency to romanticise/idealize the relationship when we went for more than about two months, and then - we'd be together, and I was reminded that she was human and so was I, that kind of took some time and some wind out of the romance of it all and I had to get concrete with who she and I were, individually and together.

When I moved back East, I lived in a separate apartment while her divorce was finalized, which took another year - by the time we got married we were so ready............

 

Hey, the gurl I'm seeing (still hopefully) is from the 909

 

want to?

j/k

 

she definately is. Right now i'm hoping the same goes for her. We are both going through tough times. But we knew this was going to be one of the toughest things we ever did. Hopefully all will work out


But she is definately worth every sacrifice we have both made. Our relationship has been full of sacrifices for the last 4 years.

 

what complications have you ran into?

 

Well, she spent a semester abroad in China. That complicated things some and she'll be going back there for another 10 months on a Fulbright. Otherwise, we've done a pretty good job of making time for each other and making use of all the time we do have available. Communication is hugely important to us so we've always been very open about our thoughts, which has helped avoid most complications.

 

I did it for a year...when both people are dedicated to each other and the success of the relatioship, then it's just geography. I am not in a LDR anymore. Not sure if I would do it again or not. I guess if the right person presented themselves I would consider it again.