How do you get a shy girl to talk?
08-16-2007, 02:56 PM
#41
Team Owner
Originally Posted by danny25
well "be funny" sounds like it's risen to the top. At least that's easier to work on then "look good".
08-16-2007, 03:56 PM
#42
Earth-bound misfit
I, for one, think it's great that you're hanging in there and giving her time. 
I need her email address... I'm much funnier with 20-30 min. of preparation time.
08-16-2007, 05:30 PM
#45
Team Owner
IMO efforts put into getting a shy girl to talk to you < return on investment. It's not like she is magically going to turn into a freak in bed.
I used to be drawn to shy girls. In the end they all turned out to just be boring.
I used to be drawn to shy girls. In the end they all turned out to just be boring.
08-16-2007, 06:04 PM
#46
My Garage
Originally Posted by doopstr
IMO efforts put into getting a shy girl to talk to you < return on investment. It's not like she is magically going to turn into a freak in bed.
I used to be drawn to shy girls. In the end they all turned out to just be boring.
I used to be drawn to shy girls. In the end they all turned out to just be boring.
08-16-2007, 07:51 PM
#47
beware of perverts
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SoCal
Age: 42
Posts: 584
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by 04EuroAccordTsx
tell her to drink some wine or beer, then she'll start talking! 
however the other day i was talking to my bf over the phone and he had the audacity to say "babe, you sure talk alot" and i was sober.
08-17-2007, 02:17 AM
#48
I'd have to agree on the laughing plan. Ive found that some girls will open up much faster when you show them you're just trying to have fun and laugh it up. Just make sure the jokes and the things you try to make her laugh about are proper...
What are one of the things that most women say when they describe the right man?
"He makes me laugh".
What are one of the things that most women say when they describe the right man?
"He makes me laugh".
08-17-2007, 02:57 AM
#49
Originally Posted by v6cord2k5
What are one of the things that most women say when they describe the right man?
"He makes me laugh".
"He makes me laugh".
To the OP:
What most women gravitate toward, even if they have a hard time admitting it, is burning masculinity and desire. A woman wants to be desired on an unseen sexual plane, i.e. communicating non-verbally with strong eye-contact (bedroom eyes, not I-want-to-kill-you eyes) and body language. Not with flowers, poetry, chocolates or a personal jester. You're supposed to be her lover not her TiVo.
A sense of humor is but one personality characteristic that, albeit is good to have, alone will not suffice. That's why the details of your scenario are so important - and at the same time a little weird that you choose to hide.
Being a man, or THE man, is what will attract her to you. I mean, assuming she's not a lesbian.
This girl doesn't seem to want to break out of her box (comfort zone). I doubt she's only 18 and inexperienced given YOUR age, so I think she's either NOT into you and you're just being persistent (which is good) OR she's a weirdo with some minor social disorder. For some reason, it's become taboo to question the motives and personality traits of women, and instead, the focus is on the man and what HE is doing, or not doing, for that matter.
If a girl has a problem, let's say agoraphobia, you think humor and a couple of drinks alone are going to magically make her THE girl of your current desires? Sorry, they won't.
The question then necessarily becomes: For what reason should YOU even lay HER with your attention, time, and effort? Your associations of lust with her looks are only skin deep - assuming you don't know her well. I would rather spend that time and energy picking up another girl, hanging with my friends, or listening to new music.
You can't do time-cost-averaging when it comes to girls - "I've already spent 10 hours trying to get her to laugh and like me, I feel so good about her as it is... Maybe I'll spend another 30 minutes on a dinner-date then she'll finally like me... I mean, she's probably still shy... But I'm already invested, what's another couple of days?" - And on it goes.
Granted, it's always good to get rejected - pushing and pushing till she says "No, I don't like you." But if she's timid and scared to hurt you, because she can tell that you are into her, she could possibly lead you on and on and on... Which could also lead to her resenting you or telling you "let's just be friends."
But, I know that some girls require someone to take the lead... To navigate her emotionally through attraction -> comfort -> isolation -> escalation -> and eventually sex. Humor is one way to build comfort, assuming there is attraction, but then you have to get her alone... At least enough to escalate (or arouse) her enough for her to actually desire your affections.
It depends on what you want. Just sex? Someone to go shopping with? Think about it... Because that can help you frame the encounters you make with her. Where are you in your life? Are you really trying to settle down? Are you just trying to have fun while you advance your career? I think it matters.
I want an update
08-17-2007, 07:06 AM
#50
Earth-bound misfit
What most women gravitate toward, even if they have a hard time admitting it, is burning masculinity and desire. A woman wants to be desired on an unseen sexual plane, i.e. communicating non-verbally with strong eye-contact (bedroom eyes, not I-want-to-kill-you eyes) and body language. Not with flowers, poetry, chocolates or a personal jester. You're supposed to be her lover not her TiVo.
No passion, ultimately, equals a dead relationship, much as people can try to deny it. Without that, you're really just friends and roommates.However, I still maintain that, in the beginning, with a shy girl (or any girl for that matter), humor will get her attention, and open the door for the "burning masculinity" to make its entrance.
Also, you're leaving out one very important variable, here, which I suspect is playing a role for our friend, Danny...chemistry. Have you never felt a really strong pull toward someone you only know superficially? I suspect her looks are not the only thing keeping him hanging in there.
Oh, and +1 for the update!
08-17-2007, 07:13 AM
#51
Race Director
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Illinois
Age: 45
Posts: 10,741
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by mypoorTSX
i agree! liquor makes me very social
however the other day i was talking to my bf over the phone and he had the audacity to say "babe, you sure talk alot" and i was sober.
however the other day i was talking to my bf over the phone and he had the audacity to say "babe, you sure talk alot" and i was sober.
one of my ex-gfs was always drunk every weekend, but she was a naughty flirt. some reason she always wanted to drink wine whenver i came over to her place.
08-17-2007, 08:24 AM
#52
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Looks like you put a lot of thought in that post amis, thanks...
"Dating & Relationships" being quite a personal subject, I just didn't feel like dumping the whole situation on the table as most do in this forum. No one can really understand everything unless you're in my shoes anyway no matter how much background I give, so I just wanted to boil it down to one simple general question. I didn't want every detail scrutinized.
That could be true, I don't think it is. Despite what it may sound like, I'm not opposed to moving on if I don't get some good feedback. I just want to give it a little bit more time. I'm not really in a hurry to run to the next girl.
you can't base a relationship on being drunk. Not for long anyway.
I'm definitely not consciously thinking that way.
I didn't even know her very long ago, so I'll get over it if that occurs.
Ok, you'll get one... though you'll still probably be pissed about the lack of detail.
Originally Posted by amisconception
...
A sense of humor is but one personality characteristic that, albeit is good to have, alone will not suffice. That's why the details of your scenario are so important - and at the same time a little weird that you choose to hide.
A sense of humor is but one personality characteristic that, albeit is good to have, alone will not suffice. That's why the details of your scenario are so important - and at the same time a little weird that you choose to hide.
Originally Posted by amisconception
This girl doesn't seem to want to break out of her box (comfort zone). I doubt she's only 18 and inexperienced given YOUR age, so I think she's either NOT into you and you're just being persistent (which is good) OR she's a weirdo with some minor social disorder.
Originally Posted by amisconception
For some reason, it's become taboo to question the motives and personality traits of women, and instead, the focus is on the man and what HE is doing, or not doing, for that matter.
If a girl has a problem, let's say agoraphobia, you think humor and a couple of drinks alone are going to magically make her THE girl of your current desires? Sorry, they won't.
If a girl has a problem, let's say agoraphobia, you think humor and a couple of drinks alone are going to magically make her THE girl of your current desires? Sorry, they won't.
you can't base a relationship on being drunk. Not for long anyway.
Originally Posted by amisconception
You can't do time-cost-averaging when it comes to girls - "I've already spent 10 hours trying to get her to laugh and like me, I feel so good about her as it is... Maybe I'll spend another 30 minutes on a dinner-date then she'll finally like me... I mean, she's probably still shy... But I'm already invested, what's another couple of days?" - And on it goes.
Originally Posted by amisconception
Granted, it's always good to get rejected - pushing and pushing till she says "No, I don't like you." But if she's timid and scared to hurt you, because she can tell that you are into her, she could possibly lead you on and on and on... Which could also lead to her resenting you or telling you "let's just be friends."
Originally Posted by amisconception
I want an update
Last edited by danny25; 08-17-2007 at 08:26 AM.
08-17-2007, 08:30 AM
#53
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by wndrlst
Also, you're leaving out one very important variable, here, which I suspect is playing a role for our friend, Danny...chemistry. Have you never felt a really strong pull toward someone you only know superficially? I suspect her looks are not the only thing keeping him hanging in there.
08-17-2007, 02:38 PM
#54
Originally Posted by wndrlst
I can strongly agree with this statement. No passion, ultimately, equals a dead relationship, much as people can try to deny it. Without that, you're really just friends and roommates.
No passion, ultimately, equals a dead relationship, much as people can try to deny it. Without that, you're really just friends and roommates.
However, I still maintain that, in the beginning, with a shy girl (or any girl for that matter), humor will get her attention, and open the door for the "burning masculinity" to make its entrance.
But, don't you think she can probably tell if he's interested in her? Wouldn't you find it odd if a guy who was really interested in you only cracked jokes and never made any real attempt to convey his interest in you on, at least, that unseen sexual plane I mentioned in my other post?
Also, you're leaving out one very important variable, here, which I suspect is playing a role for our friend, Danny...chemistry. Have you never felt a really strong pull toward someone you only know superficially? I suspect her looks are not the only thing keeping him hanging in there.
The only time that's ever happened to me is when a girl showed me more than average attention (for what seemed like no reason), she was really hot, and seemed really sweet.
I think that's typically what guys would label as "chemistry." The problem with that, though, is that it tells you nothing about how she feels about you. And at that point, if she alone doesn't convey her interest in you outside of giving you that attention, then it's just a guessing game for the guy. It then becomes his job to pursue her.
If that attention she gave him was genuine, and not something she does to get her jollies off (boost her ego), but she liked him individually, then he has to approach her with the intention of taking it "all the way" - embracing his sexuality and making her melt.
08-17-2007, 04:40 PM
#56
Safety Car
Originally Posted by danny25
are you a relationship counselor?Go out with her friends, and see how she behaves in front of them. Maybe she's always the shy one. If so, you might be wasting your time.
08-17-2007, 07:32 PM
#58
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by amisconception
Well, maybe. I would probably argue that conveying interest in her while he maintained his character first would be more attractive to her than humor alone. Supplicating her won't work in the end.
But, don't you think she can probably tell if he's interested in her? Wouldn't you find it odd if a guy who was really interested in you only cracked jokes and never made any real attempt to convey his interest in you on, at least, that unseen sexual plane I mentioned in my other post?
That said, interest can be conveyed with humor.
I can confirm that it's possible to be flirted with in such a manner that your pulse speeds up and you're laughing at the very same time. It's heady stuff. 
I think "chemistry" is just another word for strong attraction.
Call it what you like...
The only time that's ever happened to me is when a girl showed me more than average attention (for what seemed like no reason), she was really hot, and seemed really sweet.
Your analyses are very insightful and well thought out. BUT, I think it's possible to overthink some things. I think it's okay to sometimes just experience emotions without prying them apart until they've lost their magic.
If that attention she gave him was genuine, and not something she does to get her jollies off (boost her ego), but she liked him individually, then he has to approach her with the intention of taking it "all the way" - embracing his sexuality and making her melt.
08-18-2007, 03:47 PM
#59
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
yeah wndrlst got my back.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
08-18-2007, 03:49 PM
#60
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by danny25
yeah wndrlst got my back.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
Awesome!
08-18-2007, 06:36 PM
#61
Originally Posted by wndrlst
Have you ever been totally flattened on your ass by a girl? In a way that you can't reason your way through?
If not, then for your own sake, I hope like hell it happens to you someday....
08-18-2007, 09:50 PM
#62
Suzuka Master
Originally Posted by danny25
yeah wndrlst got my back.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
Hope the next date will turn out great as well!
08-19-2007, 02:46 PM
#63
Originally Posted by amisconception
Since when have you known women to be honest with describing men and what they really want? If they were so honest, every single girl would only date guys who were tall, dark, rich, humorous, genuine, caring, athletic and handsome - obviously that's not the case. The game of finding, pursuing, and nailing women would be as simple as determining your characteristics and filling her criteria. A true matriarchy, to say the least.
To the OP:
What most women gravitate toward, even if they have a hard time admitting it, is burning masculinity and desire. A woman wants to be desired on an unseen sexual plane, i.e. communicating non-verbally with strong eye-contact (bedroom eyes, not I-want-to-kill-you eyes) and body language. Not with flowers, poetry, chocolates or a personal jester. You're supposed to be her lover not her TiVo.
A sense of humor is but one personality characteristic that, albeit is good to have, alone will not suffice. That's why the details of your scenario are so important - and at the same time a little weird that you choose to hide.
Being a man, or THE man, is what will attract her to you. I mean, assuming she's not a lesbian.
This girl doesn't seem to want to break out of her box (comfort zone). I doubt she's only 18 and inexperienced given YOUR age, so I think she's either NOT into you and you're just being persistent (which is good) OR she's a weirdo with some minor social disorder. For some reason, it's become taboo to question the motives and personality traits of women, and instead, the focus is on the man and what HE is doing, or not doing, for that matter.
If a girl has a problem, let's say agoraphobia, you think humor and a couple of drinks alone are going to magically make her THE girl of your current desires? Sorry, they won't.
The question then necessarily becomes: For what reason should YOU even lay HER with your attention, time, and effort? Your associations of lust with her looks are only skin deep - assuming you don't know her well. I would rather spend that time and energy picking up another girl, hanging with my friends, or listening to new music.
You can't do time-cost-averaging when it comes to girls - "I've already spent 10 hours trying to get her to laugh and like me, I feel so good about her as it is... Maybe I'll spend another 30 minutes on a dinner-date then she'll finally like me... I mean, she's probably still shy... But I'm already invested, what's another couple of days?" - And on it goes.
Granted, it's always good to get rejected - pushing and pushing till she says "No, I don't like you." But if she's timid and scared to hurt you, because she can tell that you are into her, she could possibly lead you on and on and on... Which could also lead to her resenting you or telling you "let's just be friends."
But, I know that some girls require someone to take the lead... To navigate her emotionally through attraction -> comfort -> isolation -> escalation -> and eventually sex. Humor is one way to build comfort, assuming there is attraction, but then you have to get her alone... At least enough to escalate (or arouse) her enough for her to actually desire your affections.
It depends on what you want. Just sex? Someone to go shopping with? Think about it... Because that can help you frame the encounters you make with her. Where are you in your life? Are you really trying to settle down? Are you just trying to have fun while you advance your career? I think it matters.
I want an update
To the OP:
What most women gravitate toward, even if they have a hard time admitting it, is burning masculinity and desire. A woman wants to be desired on an unseen sexual plane, i.e. communicating non-verbally with strong eye-contact (bedroom eyes, not I-want-to-kill-you eyes) and body language. Not with flowers, poetry, chocolates or a personal jester. You're supposed to be her lover not her TiVo.
A sense of humor is but one personality characteristic that, albeit is good to have, alone will not suffice. That's why the details of your scenario are so important - and at the same time a little weird that you choose to hide.
Being a man, or THE man, is what will attract her to you. I mean, assuming she's not a lesbian.
This girl doesn't seem to want to break out of her box (comfort zone). I doubt she's only 18 and inexperienced given YOUR age, so I think she's either NOT into you and you're just being persistent (which is good) OR she's a weirdo with some minor social disorder. For some reason, it's become taboo to question the motives and personality traits of women, and instead, the focus is on the man and what HE is doing, or not doing, for that matter.
If a girl has a problem, let's say agoraphobia, you think humor and a couple of drinks alone are going to magically make her THE girl of your current desires? Sorry, they won't.
The question then necessarily becomes: For what reason should YOU even lay HER with your attention, time, and effort? Your associations of lust with her looks are only skin deep - assuming you don't know her well. I would rather spend that time and energy picking up another girl, hanging with my friends, or listening to new music.
You can't do time-cost-averaging when it comes to girls - "I've already spent 10 hours trying to get her to laugh and like me, I feel so good about her as it is... Maybe I'll spend another 30 minutes on a dinner-date then she'll finally like me... I mean, she's probably still shy... But I'm already invested, what's another couple of days?" - And on it goes.
Granted, it's always good to get rejected - pushing and pushing till she says "No, I don't like you." But if she's timid and scared to hurt you, because she can tell that you are into her, she could possibly lead you on and on and on... Which could also lead to her resenting you or telling you "let's just be friends."
But, I know that some girls require someone to take the lead... To navigate her emotionally through attraction -> comfort -> isolation -> escalation -> and eventually sex. Humor is one way to build comfort, assuming there is attraction, but then you have to get her alone... At least enough to escalate (or arouse) her enough for her to actually desire your affections.
It depends on what you want. Just sex? Someone to go shopping with? Think about it... Because that can help you frame the encounters you make with her. Where are you in your life? Are you really trying to settle down? Are you just trying to have fun while you advance your career? I think it matters.
I want an update
Okay, but I think all the OP was asking is how to get her to talk, not how to get her to want to fvck him night and day...
08-19-2007, 03:14 PM
#64
Registered but harmless
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Age: 59
Posts: 14,845
Received 1,106 Likes
on
764 Posts
Originally Posted by v6cord2k5
Okay, but I think all the OP was asking is how to get her to talk, not how to get her to want to fvck him night and day...
08-19-2007, 04:40 PM
#65
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by amisconception
No.
Ha, I doubt it'll happen. Maybe if I was younger.
Ha, I doubt it'll happen. Maybe if I was younger.
Here's hoping you get blind-sided someday...
08-20-2007, 04:06 PM
#66
Originally Posted by danny25
yeah wndrlst got my back.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
update: I had a couple drinks and loosened up, made her laugh a lot, I got her number, I'm seeing her again later this week.
Doing anything special on the next date?
08-20-2007, 04:07 PM
#67
Originally Posted by wndrlst
What are you, 80?
Here's hoping you get blind-sided someday...
Here's hoping you get blind-sided someday...I think some people are so guarded that they won't allow that to happen
And no that's never happened to me, either.
08-20-2007, 04:48 PM
#68
Earth-bound misfit
See, that's the whole point of being blind-sided. Not looking. Not expecting it.
08-20-2007, 07:35 PM
#69
I shoot people
Originally Posted by wndrlst
I agree with those who said make her laugh. Nothing like laughter to put someone at ease. Not only that, but a good sense of humor is way, way up there on my list of important qualities in a guy.
Good luck!
Good luck!
it works for me everytime... sometimes, I tease... and say something that's funny but kinda put her on the spot too. Not so much to embarrass her, but just enough to get her to blush... like for example... there's this cute girl at Starbucks... always seem a bit on the quiet side... so, one day I said to her...
"hey, I haven't seen you in awhile... I thought they fired you or something...."
she gave me the biggest smile ever... and told me that she had been away on vacation...
ever since then... she seem to be a lot more talkative...
in that scenario, not only did I "break the ice". BUT, indirectly... I basically let her know that I've "noticed" that she hadn't been around (which means I've thought about her), but yet... NOT crossing the line of the creepy/stalker customer. I don't think it'll lead to anything... cuz for one... she's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay young, but it's just nice to know that ONE comment can do so much.
but with that said... how you deliver the line matters too... but you get the idea
08-20-2007, 08:33 PM
#70
Suzuka Master
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: MD
Age: 40
Posts: 5,124
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Like everyone else said, make her laugh. But also don't ask her questions that can be answered with "yes, no, good, bad," etc. Ask open ended questions that make her open up and describe things more. Hopefully she doesn't feel the same way about you
08-21-2007, 10:30 AM
#71
Suzuka Master
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Scottman111
Doing anything special on the next date?
08-21-2007, 10:55 AM
#72
Originally Posted by is300eater
it works for me everytime... sometimes, I tease... and say something that's funny but kinda put her on the spot too. Not so much to embarrass her, but just enough to get her to blush... like for example... there's this cute girl at Starbucks... always seem a bit on the quiet side... so, one day I said to her...
"hey, I haven't seen you in awhile... I thought they fired you or something...."
she gave me the biggest smile ever... and told me that she had been away on vacation...
ever since then... she seem to be a lot more talkative...
in that scenario, not only did I "break the ice". BUT, indirectly... I basically let her know that I've "noticed" that she hadn't been around (which means I've thought about her), but yet... NOT crossing the line of the creepy/stalker customer. I don't think it'll lead to anything... cuz for one... she's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay young, but it's just nice to know that ONE comment can do so much.
but with that said... how you deliver the line matters too... but you get the idea
08-21-2007, 11:28 AM
#74
Originally Posted by wndrlst
See, that's the whole point of being blind-sided. Not looking. Not expecting it.
Well, I think it's harder for that to happen with extremely picky people like myself.
I have a friend that seems like he is blind-sided by all the girls he meets. He gets very giddy and starry eyed at the beginning, then it will fade after he gets to know them a little more and they aren't exactly what he was expecting.
Reverse that and you have me... Not saying that it can't happen one day though
08-21-2007, 11:38 AM
#75
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by Scottman111
She asked you? Then it's on...
Congrats
Congrats
08-21-2007, 11:41 AM
#76
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by Scottman111
Well, I think it's harder for that to happen with extremely picky people like myself.
I have a friend that seems like he is blind-sided by all the girls he meets. He gets very giddy and starry eyed at the beginning, then it will fade after he gets to know them a little more and they aren't exactly what he was expecting.
Reverse that and you have me... Not saying that it can't happen one day though
I have a friend that seems like he is blind-sided by all the girls he meets. He gets very giddy and starry eyed at the beginning, then it will fade after he gets to know them a little more and they aren't exactly what he was expecting.
Reverse that and you have me... Not saying that it can't happen one day though
Well hopefully it will happen for you. You're young...you've got time.
Unlike our 80 year old amisconception.
08-22-2007, 10:41 AM
#77
Originally Posted by wndrlst
Yeah, your buddy's tendency is no good, for sure. See, I don't really think that's being blind-sided in the way I mean. It sounds like he's actively searching, and probably trying too hard to see something that isn't there.
Well hopefully it will happen for you. You're young...you've got time. Unlike our 80 year old amisconception.
Well hopefully it will happen for you. You're young...you've got time.
Unlike our 80 year old amisconception. Hmm, I think our definitions of blindsided are different. I assume now (after reading that post) that you mean meeting someone out of the blue when you weren't even looking at all.
My definition of blindsided is finally meeting a person that seems almost perfect, compared to the normal letdowns/imperfections that I've become used to finding in a new person. Like I said before, I'm very picky so I think this is why our definitions are different. I guess we aren't really that far off, but I think it makes a difference.
I've dated a LOT of girls in my life, and I've only met one that I would ever consider to stay in a long-term relationship and possibly marriage. (And the only reason we aren't together is because of geography
) That's probably bad, but that's just how I am
08-22-2007, 11:05 AM
#78
Earth-bound misfit
Originally Posted by Scottman111
Hmm, I think our definitions of blindsided are different. I assume now (after reading that post) that you mean meeting someone out of the blue when you weren't even looking at all.
My definition of blindsided is finally meeting a person that seems almost perfect, compared to the normal letdowns/imperfections that I've become used to finding in a new person. Like I said before, I'm very picky so I think this is why our definitions are different. I guess we aren't really that far off, but I think it makes a difference.
I've dated a LOT of girls in my life, and I've only met one that I would ever consider to stay in a long-term relationship and possibly marriage. (And the only reason we aren't together is because of geography )
That's probably bad, but that's just how I am
My definition of blindsided is finally meeting a person that seems almost perfect, compared to the normal letdowns/imperfections that I've become used to finding in a new person. Like I said before, I'm very picky so I think this is why our definitions are different. I guess we aren't really that far off, but I think it makes a difference.
I've dated a LOT of girls in my life, and I've only met one that I would ever consider to stay in a long-term relationship and possibly marriage. (And the only reason we aren't together is because of geography
) That's probably bad, but that's just how I am
Like you said, I think maybe our definitions aren't that far off. Sorry about your girl. Geography can certainly suck.
08-22-2007, 11:22 AM
#79
Instructor
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central Coast Cali
Age: 41
Posts: 210
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Easy question to answer. Never ask her an yes/no question. Ask her a question that will require a sentence or two to respond. Then you get a few questions like that flowing the shyness should start to go away. Well that what I do and it works all the time. Like how several people stated b4 let her do the talking. The key thing IMO is always ask the open ended questions and you will be fine.
08-22-2007, 01:43 PM
#80
Originally Posted by wndrlst
There's nothing wrong with being picky in my book. I'm actually really picky, too. I guess that's kind of what I mean, but it's not just about meeting someone when you weren't looking. I think I mean more really being taken by surprise by a person's entire self...feeling that connection and, again, chemistry either when you weren't looking at all, or weren't expecting it from that particular person. It can be someone you already knew, or were acquainted with, who suddenly came under your radar for whatever reason.
Like you said, I think maybe our definitions aren't that far off. Sorry about your girl. Geography can certainly suck.
Like you said, I think maybe our definitions aren't that far off. Sorry about your girl. Geography can certainly suck.
Yeah, I think we were meaning the same things, just saying it differently
And I hear a lot of stuff about how it's bad to be picky (usually from girls that I won't date that aren't used to be rejected), but the way I see it, I just know exactly what I want.
I think that's a good thing, for me at least. I've thought about making a thread in D&R on that topic to see what everybody else thinks about it, but I never got around to it.But yeah, it does suck that she lives so far away. I'm trying to get her to move here in the near future, and I know she really wants to, but it's just so hard because of how far away it is from home and her family.